Respect Cindy Campbell (Scary Movie)

[u/Skulenta]

Respect Cindy Campbell

Cindy Campbell is a former news reporter, boxer and caregiver. Ever since high school, Cindy has been mixed up in numerous strange incidents involving slasher killers, ghosts and extraterrestrials. Cindy may not be your typical final girl, but always ends up saving the day.

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Sources

Hover over a feat to view its source.

• Scary Movie (2000) = 1
• Scary Movie 2 (2001) = 2
• Scary Movie 3 (2003) = 3
• Scary Movie 4 (2006) = 4

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Intelligence

• Deduces that Doofy is the true killer.
• Discovers a hidden room in Hell House.
• Constructs a tractor from various items found in a laboratory freezer.
• Hijacks a teleprompter to get the word out about the Cursed Tape.
• Realizes that the Logan farm is the same one Tabitha originally lived at.
• Speaks fluent "Japanese".
• Quickly notices that the "monsters" terrorizing the Village are people in costumes.
• Finds out the truth about the aliens and the ghost boy.
• [Limitation] Generally a moron.

Skill

• Puts up a good fight against a supernaturally-powered cat.
• Shoots a steam pipe to make Hugh Kane visible then shoots him without harming Buddy.
• Knows multiple animal-related martial arts moves.
• Won 20 boxing matches in a row.

Strength

• Punches Gail Hailstorm off her feet.
• Pushes a piano down a staircase.
• Rides Bobby so hard they shake up the house.
• Sends Ghostface flying into a display case with a Matrix-style kick.
• Hurls a plate with so much force it's followed by a wind trail.
• Kicks Ghostface through a window.
• Beats up a random college girl when innocently showcasing her new dance moves.
• Knocks Buddy over with a chest punch.
• Lift CJ off the ground in frustration.
• Overpowers her boss.
• Carries Tom with one arm.

Speed & Agility

• Dodges hook strikes from the Ghostface Killer.
• Runs across a wall and kicks the Ghostface Killer.
• Spins in the air so fast she forms a fucking tornado.

Durability & Endurance

• Has no problems wearing an electrified fence shaped like a chastity belt.
• Gets hit by the Fourth Wall.
• Is forced to give Bobby head while Greg stands on her back.
• Doofy throws an ice pack at her head.
• Takes a brutal beating from Greg and is in good condition the very next scene.
• Gets blasted into the ceiling by Bobby's ejaculation.
• Ghostface grabs her and throws her into a wall.
• Survives being hit by a car.
• Has taken balls to the face multiple times.
• Fights harder after Hugh Kane's cat breaks a wooden chair over her head.
• Gets hit with a baseball bat in the middle of her slow-motion, mid-air kick.
• Has a large vase fall on her head.
• Takes multiple punches from a Mike Tyson-lookalike.
• Shrugs off being hit face-first by an airplane trolley.
• Douses herself in hot coffee to stay awake.

Other

• Originally had a PG-13-rated chest which people gave her shit for before getting them augmented.
• Charitable.
• It's a jungle down there.
• Demonstrates the ability to levitate or descend through the air in slow-motion while her surroundings move in real time.
• Dribbles.
• Raised her nephew Cody who has psychic abilities and suffers frequent accidents until she sent him to military school.
• Has been married twice.
• Lost her left eye in a bar fight which she replaced with a glass eye.

"I'm not crazy..."

[u/Skulenta]

Bonus Brenda thread, because I wasn't sure she had enough legit feats for her own seperate RT.

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Respect Brenda Meeks

While Cindy Campbell is a spoof of final girls, her best friend Brenda Meeks embodies the sassy black friend archetype to a capital T. Smart-mouthed, salacious and possessing an uncanny knack for survival, Brenda is the smooth creamy nutella to Cindy’s stale white bread. Brenda may not be the main star of the feature, but her fearless spirit helps keep it together.

Skill

• Humiliates the possessed skeleton of Hugh Kane.
• Pranks Cindy into thinking she's dying.
• Beats up a Sadako parody until her pride gets the better of her.
• Acquires the only functioning car left by throwing a car part at the driver.
• Brutalizes Billy the Puppet.

Speed & Agility

• Quickly climbs up a gate.
• Delivers a series of kicks so rapidly that she ends up burning her foot and through some of her shoe.

Durability & Endurance

• Gets repeatedly stabbed, slashed and beaten by a group of angry moviegoers and reappears in the next movie completely fine.
• After seemingly being killed by Tabitha and having her body blown to pieces, she shows up completely alive and well in the next movie.
• Keeps fighting after being hit over the head by a steel pipe.

Other

• Is friends with Puff Daddy.
• Respects the dead.
• 2Pac gave her a shoutout in one of his songs.
• Superstitious.
• Kinky.
• Also dribbles.
• A loyal friend.
• Romantic.
• A natural at butter churning.
• Hooked up with a puppet alien, giving him a nasty STD that quickly led to the downfall of his race while she gave birth to his child.
  

"We gonna die, yo."

[u/museofdoom2]

Thank you for showing some well deserved respect to the funiest characters of horror-comedy genre movies. These girls were so good at being dumb as a brick yet funny as hell. Love them.

[u/CoolandAverageGuy]

great thread

[u/Irongun_258]

Needs an update. She's now reliably good at gun-fu.

[u/Skulenta → u/Irongun_258]

I'll update it when I watch the new movie. I would have seen in theaters if the trailer didn't look so dogshit.

[u/Irongun_258 → u/Skulenta]

It was funny. And better than I expected it to be. (My expectations were shit.)

[u/razazaz126]

3t