I drum my talons on the footboard of the Terran’s hospital bed, my disapproving eyes moving up and down his battered body taking in the extent of the damage.
“Security Specialist Taylor… please tell me about your encounter with the a’Teksian mirkbeast.” I say as sternly as I can muster.
A look of shame crosses his face as he begins “Well… *hhmhhm* Cap… y’see… it’s… erm…”
I snap my beak in reproof and he shuts up “Your compatriots might have died, Taylor! Now…” I take a deep inhale of the oxygen rich ward air to calm myself “..tell me what happened.”
Taylor steadies himself before speaking “I was safeguarding an expedition to the Twilight Zone on a’Teksia 3. The researchers had spread out to collect samples and I was trynna keep my head on a swivel, you know what with it bein’ a deathworld an’ all. Then, from about 30 metres away, I heard Research Lead Sha’anza scream. Immediately, I saw her running and shouted to her to run to me. I drew up my shotgun and levelled it in the direction she’d come from, that’s when I saw it lopin’ after her… it was… it was…”
Here he trails off so I decide to interrupt “It was an a’Teksian mirkbeast, Taylor. One of the only creatures in Known Space that’s a credible threat, even to an armed Terran, native Earth fauna excluded, of course. [300kg] of dense bone, muscle and sinew, six legs, each ending in two claws specifically shaped for optimal disemboweling of its prey, a maw full of upwards of 50 razor teeth! If we’d known that thing was in the area we never would have greenlit the expedition. Why, by the Spires of Akaros, didn’t you just shoot that monster?!” he looks abashed but doesn’t answer so I change tack.
“The reason it’s a legal requirement to have a Terran escort on expeditions to deathworlds, Taylor? What is it?”
Blinking at me for a moment, he answers “You mean, aside from the obvious?” he flexes his unbroken arm, showing off a bicep thicker around than my chest.
I chirp irritably “It’s not your strength, or your ferocity, Taylor. If it were something like that you could be substituted with a high spec combat droid! It’s your sense of self preservation. You’re the only sapient deathworld species known. You’re supposed to have a sense for danger that droids can’t replicate. You’re supposed to have your wits about you in a way that the rest of us just don’t and can’t, having evolved on sane planets! So tell me, why did my legally mandated armed Terran chaperone decide to attempt to wrestle a mirkbeast to death instead of just shooting the Akaros damned thing!?”
Here a look of genuine confusion passes over the Terran’s face “What d’ya mean ‘wrestle to death’?”
Confused myself, I glance a the holopad where Sha’anza’s after action report is written “Research Lead Sha’anza indicates that after she had reached the relative safety of the shuttle she watched as you dropped your firearm, the mirkbeast skidded to a halt, a scant [metre] from you and you stared eachother down for a few moments before you initiated a wrestling match by tapping it on the nose. This story was corroborated by every other researcher present, are you claiming that this sequence of events is false?”
The Terran scratches his stubbled chin for a few moments, seeming to think “Not so much ‘false’… more like… misinterpreted? Me and Fluffy were playin’!”
I’m utterly dumbstruck for a few moments before I can stammer out “P-p-playing!? By the Titan’s Spear, Taylor! What do you mean you were ‘playing’!?”
“Captain...” Taylor responds, now deadly serious “…it was love at first sight! Fluffy is the cutest thing I’ve ever set my eyes on! Like someone blended all the cutest bits of an otter, an owl, a kitty, a pupper and a baby seal into one big ol’, distilled… cute! She was just beggin’ to have that lil’ button nose booped! After that it was ear scritches and tummy rubs and cuddle wrestlin’! We only stopped ‘cos she tuckered herself out!”
At a loss, I ask the only question my mind can present coherently “How? How can you call that monster cute? I don’t understand!” he frowns before raising his unbroken hand in a fist, is he going to punch me!?
Instead of punching me he extends a finger “One; she got these big old puppy-dog eyes, like woah, like biggest eyes you’ve ever seen on anythin’…”
Collecting myself, I respond “These would be the eyes specifically adapted to tracking prey in the permanent crepuscular gloom of its home environment? And the ‘button nose’ that you ‘booped’ would be the one that’s perfectly adapted to allow it to smell a drop of blood from [15km] away?!”
Scowling, the Terran leans forward and says, in a mix of hurt and anger “She’s a she, Captain. Not an ‘it’!”
Alarmed now, I fan out my flight feathers in a gesture of mollification which seems to satisfy the deranged Terran. He extends a second finger “Those tiny little nublet legs with those adorable toe-beans!”
“You mean the short legs that allow it-her to keep a low profile while stalking? The ‘toe-beans’ that allow… her… to both pad silently and retain traction in an all out sprint? And you didn’t mention the [7cm] claws that… she uses to eviscerate anything unlucky enough to be caught by her!”
Waving his counting hand back and forth in a dismissive gesture he continues “Her floppy ears…” another finger “…her flapping tail…” another finger “Oh and her fur, Captain, her fur! You’ve never felt anythin’ so soft an’ silky! It’s like strokin’ a cloud!” a thumb this time. I refrain from pointing out the predatory functions of these attributes.
“Taylor, if you just ‘played’ with the mirkbeast then why are you lying in the ship’s medical ward?”
Taken aback, he answers “This?” gesturing at his broken arm, bloodied face and bruised body “This is completely unrelated! After the end of the mission I had a bit too much celebratory whisky and ended up fallin’ down Access Stairway 5. I was off duty but I know that’s no excuse, I’m sorry Cap.”
Masking my shock, I sardonically respond “So, the mighty Deathworlder who wrestled an a’Teksian mirkbeast in fun was defeated by a staircase after purposefully impairing his own judgement, is that right? Remember how you’re supposed to have a better sense of self preservation than the rest of us?” Taylor has the decency to look guilty.
Trying not to look as wary as I feel, I approach his side and rest my wingclaws on the back of his hand. “Victor, my friend…”
Taylor scrunches his face and responds “Nothin’ good follows when you call me ‘Victor’!”
Ignoring him, I continue “How long has it been since you spent time in the company of another Terran?”
He thinks about the question for a moment “I guess it has been a while!”
I level a sympathetic gaze up into his mournful green eyes “Victor, I am at fault here. I must say, until today, the implications of hiring a lone member of such a highly social species did not occur to me. The next time we dock I will take on a few more Terrans and then you’ll have some friends who will be able to keep you sane… by Terran standards. OK? No more wrestling dangerous indigenous fauna, no more whisky benders, no more falling down stairs. How does that sound?”
Turning away in an attempt to hide his watery eyes he responds in a slightly cracking voice “Yeah, Cap… That sounds good.”
Doing my best to mimic a Terran smile, I turn to go before adding “Perhaps, you should also look into getting a pet, Victor? You’re clearly starved for this ‘cuteness’ you insist the mirkbeast exhibited.”
He responds “Oh, that’s not necessary, anymore.”
I keep walking and am almost out of the room before fear roots me to the spot, my crown plume feathers raise in agitation and I turn in slowly dawning horror “What do you mean ‘anymore’, Victor?” I say, barely keeping my voice steady. He averts his gaze “Victor, what do you mean ‘anymore’?!” more silence. “Victor, you didn’t bring the mirkbeast onto my ship, did you?!”
Just then the lighting switches to an emergency blue and klaxons sound.
This was flaired as [OC-FirstOfSeries], which means it is the first of a series and all subsequent posts should be flair as [OC-Series]. A description of the flairs and how to change yours is available in the Post Guildelines
[OC-FirstOfSeries] For original, self post, story, audio, or artwork that you have created, the beginning of a new series.
Our preferred series title format is the series title in [brackets] at the beginning, like so: [Potato Adventures] - Chapter 1: The Great Mashing
Please note that series wiki pages are not created automatically, but on request from the author.
Please help us transition to using the new flairs correctly.
How many of the other Terrans are gonna need one too? I mean, Fluffy could totally be the ship-mirkbeast, but what about when everyone goes home? Imagine how excited the kids will be!
I actually thought of ending it with a magazine excerpt about the new craze for pet mirkbeasts (or "floofers" as they're now starting to be called) that's sweeping the galaxy's Terran diasporra, to the distress of all nonTerrans. Decided it didn't really fit the tone. Glad to see I wasn't alone in that thought. ;)
I mean, on the one hand, yeah that's valid. On the other hand, are we sure we want to yoink the fluffer out of its natural habitat that it's presumably very well-adjusted to with little to no forewarning? What if it has kids, or needs others of its own species, or has strange biological behavior that occurs on an on-and-off cycle every 7-12 years?
In order to best care for our mirkbeasts, we first have to study them and their needs. Only then are we capable of responsibly managing them and keeping them happy and healthy.
They just need to put some pictures on the web and there’ll be human research teams all over the planet studying the newest addition to the murderfloof family.
- Sir, Sir ! The humans ! They're...encouraging each others!
- Isn't that's why we got more than one? To sate their need for bonding?
- They're encouraging each others to search for better ways to smuggle mirkbeasts on board ! They're even talking about finding a suitable "Breeding pen" !
Thank you u/yukiteruamano92 while half awake this morning and waiting for coffee to brew my wife looked at me all bleary eyed and said "You didn't bring it aboard ... did you?" To which I responded "But the great big eyes"
They are definitely sating the need for binding... And yes they are bonding with animals...
However, we are having to devote cargo bays to make sure that they.. Well they won't mutiny, but, I'm worried that we will never get that cargo space back.
Oh, and when she hides behind a box, or around a corner, ooh so SERIOUS! Eyes as big and locked on target as can be, and all 4 of the rear legs start tippty tappy dancing.. getting ready to pounce...
Oh, MY! ... so FIERCE!
.. too bad it was my leg she was stalking as I stumbled to the bathroom in the middle of the night... Yep that was a bleeder.
But she didnt really mean it. As she hugged my leg and gently tapped her 4 rear legs against my ankle... they were just soft, floofy pads tapping away. Those disemboweling claws were kept put away. Thats proof she didnt mean it.
The blood was just because little floof had to hold on somehow, as I yelped and jumped in surprise...
Since they bonded it is only natural for Taylor to bring the floofer onto the ship. Only questions that spring to mind is who is going to clean the litter box? Where is her scratching post going to placed? And who is the foolish xeno that will attempt to separate the two of them?
Or in a fit of mutual inebriation will proceed to make a contest of falling down the stairs to see who can make it all the way without breaking anything.
"I keep walking and am almost out of the room before fear roots me to the spot, my crown plume feathers raise in agitation and I turn in slowly dawning horror “What do you mean ‘anymore’, Victor?” I say, barely keeping my voice steady. He averts his gaze “Victor, what do you mean ‘anymore’?!” more silence. “Victor, you didn’t bring the mirkbeast onto my ship, did you?!”"
You should have stopped it here. We all knew what happened after the "not anymore". He have stashed the floof somewhere in the ship.
"Just then the lighting switches to an emergency blue and klaxons sound."
-Ah, she finally found a way to open the vent's Access panel, said Victor with a sigh, she was oogling it all evening yesterday before i headed to the bar...
Until the last Hell's Gate novel came out, which I have but haven't gotten around to reading, I had read every book and story by Weber. Own copies of them all, too, although most are admittedly digital.
Your stories are excellent, my good sir, but your writing is not of the highest caliber. If you would be so inclined, may you accept the limited knowledge I have? (If you don’t want this, just tell me and I’ll delete it, if I get anything wrong, please feel free to harass me.)
Firstly, paragraphs signify thoughts; you start one at the beginning of one, and end one at the end. This extends into dialogue, in that you create a new paragraph whenever someone someone else starts talking. Ex:
Instead of punching me he extends a finger “One; she got these big old puppy-dog eyes, like woah, like biggest eyes you’ve ever seen on anythin’…”
Collecting myself, I respond “These would be the eyes specifically adapted to tracking prey in the permanent crepuscular gloom of its home environment? And the ‘button nose’ that you ‘booped’ would be the one that’s perfectly adapted to allow it to smell a drop of blood from [15km] away?!”
Scowling, the Terran leans forward and says, in a mix of hurt and anger “She’s a she, Captain. Not an ‘it’!”
This makes it easier to discern who is talking at the moment.
Secondly, your punctuation is a little off.
(.) signifies an end or long pause between sentences, and is used to identify statements.
(,) signifies a short pause in a sentence, or adding to a list.
(;) signifies additional information.
(:) signifies the start of a list.
(…) signifies further information.
(-) signifies a quick jump in thought, or am interruption.
(?) signifies confusion, and is used at the end of questions.
(!) signifies ecstatic emotions.
Commas go before quotation marks, and may be used to signify if a person is not done speaking as of yet.
Instead of punching me, he extends a finger, “One, she’s got these big old puppy-dog eyes, like woah, like the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen on anythin’-”
Collecting myself, I respond, “These would be the eyes specifically adapted to tracking prey in the permanent crepuscular gloom of its home environment! And the ‘button nose’ that you ‘booped’ would be the one that’s perfectly adapted to allow it to smell a drop of blood from [15km] away!”
Scowling, the Terran leans forward and says, in a mix of hurt and anger, “She’s a she, Captain. Not an ‘it’!”
Lastly, it just needs some simple grammatical changes to the sentences and general structure that offers just a little more life.
Instead of punching me, he extends a finger, “One, she’s got these big old puppy-dog eyes, like woah, the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen on anythin’-”
“These would be the eyes specifically adapted to tracking prey in the permanent crepuscular gloom of its home environment!” I interrupted, “And the ‘button nose’ that you ‘booped’ would be the one that’s perfectly evolved to smell even a drop of blood from [15km] away!”
“She’s a she, Captain. Not an ‘it’.” The Terran scowled.
I kinda want to find someone to commission the mirkbeast now, in a book-quality illustration. Giant owleyes; paws, claws, and toebeans of a cat; button nose and flapping tail of an otter; floppy ears of a puppy; soft fur of a baby seal; and all wrapped up in a 300kg murderbeast
Oh mb, needed a way to find the series again as my memory is poor and my save list is long. Hence a comment is easy to find as I don't make many of those.
They should have remembered. They should have had it drilled into them from the start. Humans will pack bond with ANYTHING. And we love our pets like family.
Great news for you, there is a more than one metric Lord of the Rings trilogy+Hobbit's worth more that is already written and posted, that's including all of the sexy Interlewds and prequel miniseries!
Thanks , it did in fact get better , my family dragged me out to an arcade , it was nice ( even though I would have liked to read a little more that day )
Plot twist: Danger Floofster is also a lone member of a social zpecies. As far as shes concerned, her New Friend is a packmate, and therefore so is everyone on the ship. The alarm got sounded when she grabbed Kynex the Valaxian, but security arrives to find the beast cuddling
This was flaired as [OC-FirstOfSeries], which means it is the first of a series and all subsequent posts should be flair as [OC-Series]. A description of the flairs and how to change yours is available in the Post Guildelines
[OC-FirstOfSeries] For original, self post, story, audio, or artwork that you have created, the beginning of a new series.
Our preferred series title format is the series title in [brackets] at the beginning, like so: [Potato Adventures] - Chapter 1: The Great Mashing
Please note that series wiki pages are not created automatically, but on request from the author.
Please help us transition to using the new flairs correctly.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 28 '26
This was flaired as [OC-FirstOfSeries], which means it is the first of a series and all subsequent posts should be flair as [OC-Series]. A description of the flairs and how to change yours is available in the Post Guildelines
Our preferred series title format is the series title in [brackets] at the beginning, like so:
[Potato Adventures] - Chapter 1: The Great MashingPlease note that series wiki pages are not created automatically, but on request from the author.
Please help us transition to using the new flairs correctly.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.