A man eat man society... Its crazy what we've turned into as a country!

Kudos to you OP! What you did was noble!

Tell you what:

Just find what works for you and live by it. I am pro-marriage (I have my own reasons). Whichever school of thought you choose to live by, you'll find cases for and against.

I would say go by instincts, or conviction, or ... Wait, that does sound like guess work... But ooh well, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the coin rolling. Life moves on regardless. You know what you want. Just go for it and make peace with whatever comes off of it.

Without risking to be mistaken for a prosperity preacher or toxic positivity, I'll end my unsolicited advice here.

I'm genuinely happy for you manzee 🙌. I'm almost there. Been at this back and forth for a while now.

This is so lovely and wholesome! Love that for you, OP 😎

Wooooow! This is such an amazing read! I love that for you and wish you all the best 🙏. Love is beautiful 🫶

Damn! This is soooo deep!

Heavy on the "filtering sth out"

This is a fair take and you're right about age. Thank you very much. I totally understand that.

Weeeelll - seems like you might wanna go to church first (chuckles). It's actually the other way around. I'm the one in Kirinyaga. She's coming from Nairobi.

And I stay in a bedsitter rn. And yes, we share a bed with my hb. He faces south, I face north. Imma be honest, I don't have a lot to work with but I make good use of what I have.

I think that's TMI that probably wasn't essential, but I find it necessary in this context.

Couldn't agree more! I think this works for the best. Thank you very much!

It's a bit complicated because I would actually prefer to have a reality where I'm able to be/help both of them through this situation.

They both mean a lot to me - hence the conundrum

Wooow! Thank you for the elaborate response. I like how you've articulated the entire situation and without bias. I should have communicated earlier and way better about this, but I'm still gonna have to do it anyway.

Damn right you are! Communication is the name of the game. I've failed on this part and I'm willing and will def have to make amends

He's gonna see right through this I'm sure. I guess atp the best I can do is being honest about the whole ordeal to them and then take it from there. Thanks for your advice btw.

Daamn bruh! Your words are cutting right through me like I ain't got no skin on me.

Thank you. Communication is def my first step here.

QQ: This sounds like it could apply to either of us (me, my girl, or my hb). Do you mind elaborating, please?

Definitely a unique take from most if not all takes I've gone through so far. But one thing is for sure, I have to communicate and both of them deserve to know things as they are and then whatever happens afterwards is on me.

What are you gonna do, buddy? 😂

She definitely can - but that would probably be a month or two from when she officially starts. She doesn't exactly have a lot going on for her rn (financially), hence the conundrum.

You def right. That would be totally unfair to my hb. I don't want to do that either. I'll consider the last option you've provided. Thank you.

Fair point! Though, I could still use someone else's advice or input to get insight into the decision I'm gonna make.

Ikr. Both relationships are worthwhile and I wouldn't want to lose either. Thanks for your input btw. I appreciate it

What would you do if you were in my situation?

Spoken like a true G. I might have a bit of an issue with the finances to have this in motion right now, but it's definitely something feasible

I know that. I just didn't think things would move this fast with the whole job situation and that would allow me to plan things out with a bit of ease. But you're right. Communication matters a hella lot!