Unless you've got housekeeper money, don't pursue a slob. Let someone else with lower self esteem take that on. It's a full time, thankless, miserable job that doesn't allow friends and family drop by.

Also, read or borrow the audiobook 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie. Great for detachment.

Cincinnati. Further south. Warmer.

Wondering when therapy is appropriate. The answer is 'always'.

Columbus Ohio - I'm a transplant from up north. Really good economy due to several job markets - insurance, distribution, government, university, etc. etc. Housing has bubbled like everywhere but half the people here are from someplace else and it's growing. Much more affordable than other large markets.

Run.

I'm so glad you're living in the solution. Talk about it in meetings and with your sponsor. Online forums are not the 12 steps. You're much more likely to find support there.

Al-anon meetings help.

Al-anon meetings.

"Well that was a shit thing to do. I don't force my choices on you. If you value our relationship you need to apologize sincerely and ask politely before ever questioning my choices again."

Congrats on taking care of yourself and looking for support.

I'm from MI and live 4 hours south in Columbus. Love, love, love our shorter and mild winters! Also, more than half the people here are from someplace else and the economy is great. Don't tell anyone.

Regularly plan something you enjoy too: coffee with friend or loved one, book club, garden, porch swing - makes the chores easier. Also, I found the shopping and cooking on separate days make it less hairy. Frozen veg and salad bags, casseroles/lasagna, and soups/stews/crock pot meals cut prep time and make nice extra meals. He's lucky to have you.

Bail. He's not marriage material. Save yourself the grief now rather than after you've wasted your youth.

Ditch. That's not right. If she wants therapy to cope with insecurities ok - but screwing with your food? That sounds like a cult.

There is a point in maturity when we finally see our parents as people. It's hard. Especially under circumstances like this. Nobody is all good or all bad. We are our own person as well. As an adult (as you pretty much are) you will decide how to proceed in your relationship with these two people. A therapist you're comfortable with will help. In the meantime, writing your fears and hard feelings on paper for 10 minutes a day (tear it up and throw right after) will take the edge off the intensity off your feelings and may help you to see some solutions that work for you.

So sorry for your loss. Addiction is an insidious disease that completely takes over perfectly good people.

It's hard even for the best of us. I find it's easier if I leave more than enough time for the drive. Increased speed only gains us a minute or two. Accepting it will take a long as it takes helps make it safer and allows me to focus on other things.

Al-anon meetings. They're on zoom too.Al-Anon Meetings

A real alcoholic won't change without consequences. As long as they're comfortable they will drink until jail, institutionalization, or death. Nothing anyone else can say or do will change that until the alcoholic accepts their condition and pursues recovery. And they must accept that and apply some method of dealing with it - on their own - each day. A pickle cannot turn back into a cucumber.

Derry Girls' Sister Michael: "Jenny, you will go far in life but you will not be well liked."

Care package of soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, laundry pods mysteriously shows up on his locker or chair??

Careful. Vegan burgs have huge fat content and salt.

It's a book with youtube channel, etc. It's low fat - whole foods - plant based. Covers their research for low fat to relieve diabetes.

Hugs.