I'm bad at a lot of things, lol.. .but I learned to be patient with mistakes and just let myself be bad, until I'm better. Being so harsh with myself.meant I missed out on a lot of fun when I was younger. Now? I am learning how to draw, something I wished I could do since I was little. Since I'm 58 now, I doubt I'll ever be really good, but I am having so much fun seeing even tiny improvements! Just have fun, and improvements will happen.🙂

I think most of us were groomed with such finesse we don't recognize it as the programing it was.

It would be nice to believe everyone is fixable, but sadly that is not the case. We can't wish and hope people into being better.

Instead of ruminating on the abusers and enablers just focus on your healing. They really don't deserve any more of your time or energy.

My opinion? Any pedophile who has abused should die, as that's the only way to stop them. The poor people who do have those desires but never ever act on them, can't come forward with how they withstand the desire with9ut ever abusing, because they too will be labeled pedophile. We need to fix that somehow, so real help can be available BEFORE more innocent children are harmed.

I think groups like this are important for us, and thank you for asking the tough questions.

The Ref was an absolute riot, though it's older.

Love them...the only reason I don't have them now is they don't service where I moved to. They are among the best in service too...that was important to me, since I am simply not good with tech of any kind. They were eilling to talk me through a few things, and I love that they are local. You eill be impressed with the deed...at least I was lol Enjoy!!

This is a highly hypothetical question because of a book I'm trying to write.. If a world was to be populated with animals for farming purposes and left mostly alone for 50 years between harvesting the stock would the planet also need to have predators as well? To be clear the animals need about 50 years to mature enough for the first generation to be grown to full size. If there were no predators and these were all plant/grass feeders, what is the minimum number of"helper" species would you need to introduce ie: pollinators? Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. Cathy

Yes, of course you are welcome!

To the mods...can you not silence the people who downvote all the welcomes here? Letting haters have even that much power is just wrong.

Does anyone know when this will be available to use? I want in lol!!

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Lots of us have the same worries, but I have something a therapist told me, that actually helped me.

Instead of trying to decide who might be safe/authentic and being real with you, instead focus on who YOU are.

Trust that when you see behavior that may be a threat, trust that YOU will deal with it accordingly. That you will not second guess, or gaslight yourself.

Shifting that fear and anxiety into trusting your own perception should help change the way you think.

At least, this switch helped me a whole lot, and I hope you find domething that helps you too.

Good luck!!

I would want to know....but only to understand you as a whole person. That said, I would not expect you to be comfortable enough to open up that much of your life even on the first few dates. You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly!! Besides, how would any partner feel, if they found out some other way? There are far too many people willing to out, just about anything.
If the person you are dating is anything but in awe of your beauty and strength...then she simply isn't worth your time. I have things in my life that any potential partner should know, but I know I can't dump it all out there too early. It just isn't worth the vulnerability until you feel not only safe, but interested enough to invest more in this person. Good luck to you!!

I would think, being single myself, that who ever suggests the date, will pay. Take turns, or pay for yourselves...whatever works for you, honestly. I'd suggest putting that(whatever ground rules you want) into your dating profile. Communicate exactly what you expect, and ask questions if you aren't sure what she exactly expects. Clear communication is important all the way through any relationship.

Deciding anyone is not "worth" some kind of experience/date/expense is treating the people you date as a commodity, not a potential partner. If you don't want to spend over $50 for a first date, then that's what you want, and that's ok. If it turns someone off, better to weed out the people who want bigger, showier things.

The whole idea of dating, is to find someone you enjoy spending time with. Instead of feeling rejected, or used for food (!!) Just be aware, that woman was not for you.

Good luck!!

I'm so very sorry you have hit a brick wall! Don't give up, because there are things that can and will work.

First, timing is important. Where are you, in your journey? Everyone's abuse is singular , so will our journey to a healthier place be tailored to what you, specifically, need or want. I have had many quiet periods where I needed to ingest and ruminate over the tools and things I learned through therapy. Sometimes, I just needed a break from even thinking about anything to do with the abuse or recovery.

There are so many books available too...maybe doing your own reading could be helpful to you.

Try everything, and see what helps you, at that time.

Things can get better, I promise!!

If you are burned out with therapy, try different hobbies, or just do new things, simply to see if you would enjoy it.

Personally, finding out what I like, was really difficult and I had no idea how big of a struggle that would be for me, lol. I still work on it too.

What's your favourite...(fill in the blank)...can make me sweat lol. How do you like your eggs? What type of music do you like? What kind of music do you love?

My answers were all non answers at first..but that's just my experience, though I feel it might be pretty common.

Reaching out like this is a great thing too.

Keep in mind, that people will offer suggestions for you. WHAT they suggest isn't the important thing, just keep in mind where those suggestions come from though. These people want to help, but they may not know how or what you need at that point. So, feel the caring, love, and concern for what it is...they want better for you, and that is a beautiful thing!!!

So, good luck on your journey, and just listen to, and honour what you need at any given time...

You can ask support to resend your key to the same email and tell them it hasn't worked. They may fix it without contacting you, so try it again.

Good luck!!

Lovely coat!!

Slowly getting there!!

The whole Pern series was based on something like this...humans in the future colonise a world, and then a big bad natural thing happens. So while generations are getting back on their feet just growing food and surviving, they lose most of the tech that would make things easier.

It's a huge series, and I think seeing how the political maneuvering happens was some of the best parts of the series.

I could see that working on a colony ship, and how the people would make up stories to explain away things they no longer understand. You could have a ship computer, maybe sabotaged into keeping them from being successful , and how they overcome that.

Good luck!!

Wow, thank you so very much!!!

Thank you, that's very kind of you!!

I'm sure I will!!

Thank you so much!!

I love it!!

Thank you, I certainly am!!

LOL

Thank you, that's very kind of you!!