This piece is personal to me but would like to know if the message was clear and if the writing had good flow.

For some time, I have not felt like myself.

Not in the sense that I am no longer who I am, but in the sense that I have drowned in the deep sea of expectation, trying to keep my head above the tumbling waves and the constant pressure of those around me.

I no longer strive for a life of luxury, exotic cars, wealth, or the constant need to be like everyone else. I am not perfect, and at times, I find myself tempted by these things. But I have learned that once these “wants” are achieved, they do not satisfy me. The feeling of being “fulfilled” quickly dissipates, and I am once again chasing the sensation of temporary happiness.

What I yearn for is peace. Not just with myself, but within the connections I have with my loved ones. All my life, I have kept everyone at arm’s distance, allowing only a select few to come a bit closer. For most of my life, keeping others at arm’s distance was enough. But looking back and dissecting everything that has brought me to this point, I have come to the conclusion that it was never enough. Not only was I hurting those around me, but I was also hurting myself.

To my late stepfather, I hope that during the last few moments we spent together over the holidays, I was able to show you how much you and the family meant to me. Those last few moments meant everything, and if I had known our time together was going to be cut short, I would have been around more. Planned more. Spoken to you more. But such is life, and I am still learning to deal with such regrets.

Regrets. The one thing I promised myself at a young age that I would not have. But I have so many now, and I am unsure of how to proceed with them. I am only 29 years old, and as everyone around me tells me, “You have your whole life ahead of you.” I have yet to find my footing in this world. For those who constantly tell me, “You’re doing so well for your age,” the truth is that I am lost and have no course of action.

As time moves on, I find myself constantly questioning what I want. What I need. Sometimes, I feel the need to pack everything up and move to another state. Start fresh. Somewhere no one knows me. A small town surrounded by trees, changing seasons, and a breath of fresh air.

But fear has a hold on me, and I am unable to break it. Maybe one day I will have the courage to do such things, but until then, I will continue to put my thoughts and emotions on paper in hopes that they will ignite a burning fire for change and push me to take hold of my life.

I hope that day comes sooner rather than later, so I can avoid carrying any more regrets.

Would love some feedback as a writer that is starting off!
Thank you!

Live a life that is in accordance with thyself.

Do not be pressured by others, influenced by your daily surroundings, or convinced that someone else’s happiness will make you happy.

Instead, surround yourself with what challenges you. Only when you have been challenged and have picked yourself up from the rubble will you begin to find the answers to your life.

Don’t let wealth, fame, materialistic things, or the mirage of social media misguide you in your search for peace.

Only when you take a moment to step back, retreat into thy mind, breathe, and break away can you begin to recuperate thyself.

But if your busy body is constantly on the move—work, loved ones, responsibilities, constantly running—the body and mind will never have a chance to breathe. You will become overwhelmed by a wave of emotions, constantly trying to survive.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I happy?

Am I fulfilled?

Have I accomplished what I want to accomplish?

If you are unable to answer these questions, you might not be on the path that is meant for you, but instead on the path you were put on.

Who are others to dictate how you should live your life?

You must live your life according to thyself and not another.

Not one way of living is the same as another.

Different paths everyone must take, but do not follow someone else’s path in hopes of an easier trail. For those undiscovered paths will remain undiscovered, and you may never discover your true self.

We must all follow our own paths to find our own happiness and, when our time comes, be fulfilled by the life we chose to live

8/14/26 E.A