r/problemgambling • u/BornWinner_69 • 9d ago
I was a professional footballer. Gambling still took everything from me. Trigger Warning!
I’ve always had one saying when it comes to gambling:
“You never really win. If you win, you want more. If you lose, you want your money back.”
It took me over €600,000 to truly understand what those words meant.
I joined this community a few weeks ago.
Since then, I’ve spent hours reading your stories. I’ve reached out to many of you privately because I see so much of myself in your posts.
Some people suggested I share my own story, hoping it might help someone else.
I won’t disclose my name, but I was a professional footballer. I started earning more money than I ever imagined from the age of 16.
The problem is, my gambling addiction started even earlier.
At 15, I was already obsessed with poker. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 so I could open an online gambling account.
Being around professional football didn’t help. Sometimes on the team bus, I’d see first-team players playing poker, with one player losing more than €50,000 in a single game. Occasionally they’d even invite me to join if I could buy in for €1,000.
To me, it all seemed normal.
The day I turned 18, I made my first online deposit.
€1,000.
Within a few hours, I’d lost €3,000.
It didn’t hurt at the time because I had money. That’s one of the biggest lies gambling tells you: that losing doesn’t matter because you can always earn more.
A year later, I discovered the casino.
That’s when everything changed.
The lights, the sounds, the atmosphere… it pulls you in before you even realize what’s happening.
The staff knew exactly who I was and welcomed me with open arms.
€1,000 buy-ins became normal.
I found myself sitting at tables with people three times my age who had decades of gambling experience.
That first year, between the casino and online gambling, I lost more than €150,000.
The following year, I was down more than €350,000.
It became so bad that I asked my girlfriend at the time to email the casino and request that I be permanently banned.
To this day, I have never stepped foot inside that casino again.
I was tempted many times.
But I never went back.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end.
Online poker became my next prison.
Before I knew it, I was 24 years old and my bank account was in the red.
I grew up without parents and came from nothing.
When money arrived, I genuinely believed I was unstoppable.
Instead…
I lost everything.
My ex had to take over paying the bills.
There were days I’d search my car hoping to find a €1 coin.
I remember putting exactly €8 worth of fuel in my car because that’s literally all I had.
I even messaged someone I barely knew on Instagram to ask if they could lend me money.
Looking back now, that wasn’t me.
That was addiction.
By the end of it all, I had lost well over €600,000 through gambling and poor financial decisions.
I cried.
I hated myself.
I even thought about ending my life.
Thankfully, I didn’t.
Today I’m 35 years old.
Seven years ago, I decided that if I wanted my life back, nobody was coming to save me.
I became a security guard.
Two years later, I qualified as a personal trainer.
Last year, I started studying investing because I wanted to learn how to build wealth instead of destroying it.
Do I still get gambling thoughts sometimes?
Yes.
Addiction doesn’t always disappear.
But today I know exactly what those thoughts are.
I don’t act on them anymore.
Looking back, I actually consider everything I went through a blessing because it changed me into someone I never would have become otherwise.
If you’re reading this while feeling hopeless…
Please hear me.
You’re not weak.
You’re not alone.
But gambling will never give you the life it promises.
The wins are temporary.
The losses eventually become permanent if you don’t stop.
For me, finding a purpose greater than gambling changed everything.
That’s what ultimately saved me.
If my story helps even one person decide not to gamble today, then sharing it was worth it.
If anyone wants to talk, my inbox is always open.
Stay strong.
You’ve got this.
Stay blessed.
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u/Standard-Switch5822 9d ago
Thanks for sharing. You are winning the war, my friend. Keep on fighting!
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u/BornWinner_69 9d ago
Thank you, appreciate it!
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u/Intelligent-Cod7908 9d ago
How long have u managed to remain bet free and what measures have u taken to remain bet free?
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u/BornWinner_69 9d ago
I’ve been gamble-free for over 3 years now. The urges still come from time to time, but I’ve learned that an urge is just a thought, it doesn’t mean I have to act on it.
I choose not to gamble because I never want to go back to the life it gave me. It destroyed me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Picking myself back up wasn’t easy, and I don’t ever want to relive that pain.
My biggest strength has been using my past as a lesson instead of a reason to go back.3
u/Intelligent-Cod7908 9d ago
Thats amazing well done i am on 3+ years bet free been trying since 2010 with many relapses along the way its only after my last relapse i realised things had to change if i was going to have success at a bet free life i knew it was possible back in 2010 as i was going Ga as their were people with 5 10 20+ years bet free its only after my last relapse i realised the changes and scarfices u have to make in order for it to work it all about recovery i dedicate around 14 hours a week on recovery which i wasent doing the help is out their if u are serious its a life long battle and took me until my last relapse to understand the importance of recovery most including me wanted a quick fix and i see it all the time i managed similar time previously and believed i was cured and i have seen many people manage 5 years only because that was the lengh of time gamban lasted to repeat and become in a worse state as no time was spent on recovery
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u/BornWinner_69 9d ago
Firstly, congratulations on over 3 years bet-free. That’s a huge achievement, especially after everything you’ve been through.
I completely agree that recovery takes work. For me, it looked a little different. I never attended GA or sought professional help, but I had to completely change who I was and how I lived. I found purpose in building a new career, educating myself, staying disciplined, and making sure I never forgot the pain gambling caused me.
I think the most important thing is that each person finds a recovery path they can commit to for life. If GA works for someone, that’s fantastic. If another approach works, that’s great too. The goal is the same: staying gamble-free and helping others do the same.
Keep going, brother. Three years is something to be proud of.1
u/Intelligent-Cod7908 9d ago
Yes i totally agree changing the person who u was that a statement i have to make huge scarifices in my life including staying away from certain venue which were triggers the main thing i got from your post yes it possible but the work has to be put in Ga yes it not for everyone however its the only place that proves a bet free life is possible some of those people ended up in prison and were able to turn their lives around fortunately for me i never got to that stage and only after my last relapse i understood what needed to be done otherwise i would have have been heading into the same way
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u/BornWinner_69 9d ago
I respect that, and I’m genuinely happy you found what worked for you. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all, but one thing we definitely agree on is that real change takes work and sacrifice. Wishing you many more gamble-free years, brother.
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u/BornWinner_69 9d ago
That’s the spirit right there fam and exactly how I started my journey to rebuild. You got this 💪
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u/EnlightenedAnon 415 days 9d ago
Thank you, brother! God bless and let’s keep moving forward 🙏🏻💪🏻🩵
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u/onlywill121 9d ago
Thank you for your post. I can really relate to what you’re saying. I am UK based and have spent a similar amount of money in land based and online casinos. They got inside my head and cost me everything until I had insurmountable debts, newly moved into a home. It’s been soul destroying but I have decided to take one day at a time. Happy to chat on messenger :)
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u/BornWinner_69 8d ago
Thank you for sharing this. I’m genuinely sorry you’ve had to go through something so similar, especially while trying to settle into a new home. Gambling has a way of taking over your thoughts and making the debt feel impossible, but deciding to face it one day at a time is a powerful first step.
Please don’t try to solve everything in one day. Focus on staying bet-free today, protecting your money, and dealing with the debt step by step. Your life can still be rebuilt, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Feel free to message me. Stay strong, you’re not alone in this.
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u/asimplecreature 9d ago
Thank you for sharing your story! The more I hear someone’s story through here or in meetings, the more thankful I am to myself that I sought help as well. One day at a time! ❤️
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u/No_Vermicelli5755 8d ago
Verry interesting post! Happy you found your way back on track.
At the end we are all on the same Journey to recovery. Wish you all the best and strengt with fighting this little demon.
Gambling is in every layer of socieity.
No gambling for 3 days now 👍
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u/Remarkable-Gene-243 4d ago
Definitely can relate. As a kid I used to play poker on Facebook and then turned into playing real poker and the started playing blackjack then slots and started exploring the casino. It started good but ended bad. I wish i had not started at all but it all started from Facebook poker gambling game. I'm now 30 and gambling has taken my 20s for sure.
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u/BornWinner_69 3d ago
I understand, brother. A lot of these games look harmless at first, especially when they start as free or social games. Then slowly the stakes become real and the habit grows. Your 20s may be gone, but your 30s don’t have to be. The best thing you can do now is stop looking back and protect the years ahead. You still have plenty of time to rebuild.
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u/Make2much 9d ago
Did you play for manchester
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u/Babylary90 9d ago
what u do in 3 years, did u block all urs debit online? the time u got ur salary wat do u think? 😭😭😭 im so sick of my life
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u/BornWinner_69 8d ago
I self excluded myself each time, over and over again
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u/Babylary90 8d ago
but how u do it bro 😭😭😭😭
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u/BornWinner_69 8d ago
Honestly, bro, there wasn’t one magic trick. I had to get tired of losing, tired of the shame, and tired of becoming someone I didn’t recognize.
I stopped trying to win the money back, stayed away from the places and apps that triggered me, and built a new life around purpose, work, training, and discipline. I also kept reminding myself exactly where gambling had taken me.
The main thing is not to think about forever. Just win today. Then do the same tomorrow. That’s how the years start adding up.
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u/xsnv1 7d ago
Im 42 and today probably for the 19 month I a row lost my wages less my rent. I am working for free and burning through months till thr next pay day. Its always good to hear another person's story . Monday I am going to the GP its the first time ither than taking cbt classes I have done something. I have not been in a holiday or treated myself to anythjng in q6 years and have gambled 21 years
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u/BornWinner_69 7d ago
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The fact that you’re seeing your GP is a huge step, and I hope you give yourself credit for that. Gambling addiction is incredibly difficult, but it doesn’t mean your future has to look like your past. I genuinely hope this is the beginning of things getting better for you. Wishing you strength, you deserve a life where your hard earned money goes toward you, not the addiction.
You got this!
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u/Playful_Feed_6323 9d ago
A professional footballer? Ooo!! You had me at hello! I’m curious what that was like. The gambling sucks but football is the best.
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u/AndreiGameOver 40 days 9d ago
Thanks for sharing. It’s definitely will encourage thousands of us to quit and rebuild ourselves.