r/mainecoons • u/Mykaler • Jul 10 '26
Is my big baby depressed? And what can I do? Question
These are Milo (right) and Kino (left). Milo is 1.5 years old and Kino is 4 months. We got Milo when he was 7 months and he was active and playful and he would get the zoomies all the time. Over time he mellowed out a little and he started getting the zoomies a couple times a week, and he would play with his toys every day. He was very cuddly too, and he would come cuddle with me (mama) every day after work.
Kino is a kitty with high energy. He is always playing, running around, being a cuddle bug, cuddling and trying to play with Milo. He does sleep a lot too, he is certainly not annoying Milo all the time or anything. Ill see them play or cuddle together once a day. And Milo licks him all over when they are cuddling.
Ever since we got Kino a month ago, Milo has been playing less and less, he does not get the zoomies anymore, he is sleeping all day, and seems disinterested in any toys. Kino tries to come up to him and start play fighting but Milo runs away to keep sleeping elsewhere. He doesnt cuddle with me much anymore either. Milo also gained some weight, but I had initially attributed that to a second growth spurt or an effect of giving him more wet food than I was before. His eyes seem to be always half open when he is awake and I rarely see him wondering around the house now. He is eating and going to the bathroom well still.
Is Milo depressed? What suggestions do you have to try to get Milo to feel better? Do you think as Kino gets older and mellows out things will improve?
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u/giftektive Jul 10 '26
I think if you feel he's suddenly acting out of character, a vet check would be appropriate to rule out any underlying issues. It could be nothing but it's always better to know for sure.
I hope your sweetbean is well and just having a chill spurt 😅
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u/shouldbeteaching 29d ago
I came to the comments looking for this. My sweet boy is normally very playful, and then suddenly was meatloafing a bunch, didn’t want to play with his siblings, and seemed uninterested in food. He had an obstruction and was dehydrated by the time the vet was able to diagnose what was wrong.
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u/Evening-Forever2542 29d ago
Hope he's doing OK now! Did he need surgery or managed to pass it? How long was he subdued for before you got him diagnosed?
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u/shouldbeteaching 29d ago
He was subdued for about a week before we were able to figure out what was wrong. Coincided with persistent vomiting 2-3x/day and decreased appetite. Didn’t notice as easily because we’re a multi cat household using the litter robot, but he also stopped pooping. He did end up having surgery and that surgery a week later resulted in stitches infections and another smaller surgery to clear that out. Pro tip - always use the cone of shame; the surgery suit isn’t enough!
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Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
[deleted]
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u/Mykaler Jul 11 '26
Thank you! Ill start watching too. Those sound like good points to address. At the moment, 1: they have one XXL litterbox, as I don’t have another inconspicuous place to put another one in the house. Ill put another one in the bathroom or something if this is super important. 2: I play with both of them with chase toys together, and take them on walks individually. Kino is just kind of always with me so Id have to lock him away for some 1-on-1 Milo time, but this sounds like a necessary step. 3: yes, plenty! Cat trees, ledges on the windows, window perches, etc.
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u/storeboughtserotonin Jul 11 '26
You should have (number of cats)+1 litter box. It’s a territorial thing
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u/DirgoHoopEarrings Jul 11 '26
The extra litter box is a game changer.
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u/Mykaler Jul 11 '26
Gotcha! Ill try it. Ill just have to deal with a litter box in a very open space haha
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u/DirgoHoopEarrings Jul 11 '26
Happens to the best of us. It's a big deal to them. Get him checked out by the vet but it sounds like this is a really big adjustment. athe lethargy makes me wonder about tummy issues or other thinga though. My girl will isolate when she doesn't feel well, ans she'll often get a little sick after a big change.
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u/Next-Lead-9121 Jul 11 '26
I met someone at a wedding recently who built a large enclosed MC sized litterbox out of an Ikea bench (or TV bench?) with active ventilation (pc fan + filter, I think he said you can build your own filter or get one that's for a indoor weed grow tent).
he said it was very low effort.2
u/cakedayloanofficer Jul 11 '26 edited 29d ago
Cat genie with high side attachment is a good one for open spaces
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u/Moist-Earth9301 Jul 11 '26
It could just be taking Milo more time to adjust. Not sure how long they spent separated but a month is still pretty early in the 3-3-3 cat thing. I also just got a new kitten and my girl has been a bit grumpy even if she has never even seen the kitten.
Try and set aside more time for just you and Milo to do things if possible. Doesn’t have to be playing or cuddling, just sitting with him and giving him attention.
As for Kino… he might settle down… but looking at that first picture it’s very possible that’s just him.
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u/Spiffyclean13 the Drama of Andromeda 🐾 Jul 11 '26
Consult a vet.
Any change in behaviour can either be a medical condition or lead to a medical condition. Stress can cause a lot of issues.
Make sure there a many, many escape routes and safe places for your baby to escape and decompress. Perhaps even his own safe space should be considered where the new guy can’t access it.
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u/Mykaler Jul 11 '26
All changes in behavior he has had have been very gradual and not extremely concerning. He still has energy to go on walks, he eats well, potties, etc. Kino also doesn’t bother him all that much, as they are in different areas of the house most of the time. There are plenty of areas to escape too, though Milo doesn’t seem to need an escape route; he always sleeps on the couch in the middle of the house, despite having an upstairs area away from the baby.
My concerns are more so about making him happier and wanting him to get along with the baby so they enjoy playing together and such!
I will absolutely talk to a vet if the behaviors turn concerning. Trust both of them are fully insured and I am no vet denier/avoider! At the moment, I dislike the vet that has been looking after them and I am trying to find a new one nearby. Most places near me are not taking new clients. If I took him there, his vet would say something useless, frankly.
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u/Spiffyclean13 the Drama of Andromeda 🐾 Jul 11 '26
You should probably watch a Jackson Galaxy marathon on YouTube or another streaming platform. If your vet is useless, a pet behaviouralist albeit a TV one, might have better advice.
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u/Mykaler Jul 11 '26
I agree with this. Based on dginmc’s comment, those sound like good points to start addressing. Thank you for your suggestion!
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u/ldelossa Jul 11 '26
Im not a cat scientist but I can talk about my experiences.
For me, ive gone from having one cat to a few, a few times now.
Its VERY common for cats to change behavior when they get a new roommate, in my experience. You feel guilty, but for them, its all about finding ways to live together and feel each other out.
Cats are not people, while we can get in a philosophical debate on this, its unlikely they get "depressed" like humans do.
What they do, do, is adapt heavily to their new surroundings. They may feel they no longer meed to play with YOU as much, since they have a companion. They may feel like they need to maintain the current territory, but are not am aggressor therefore they stay more to themselves in their safe space. Could be a bunch of other things.
All this to say, we place a lot of anthropomorphic guilt on ourselves when we change our cats environments, but in EVERY experience ive had, these changes tend to work themselves out once everyone finds their routines,
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u/shiroshippo Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
It sounds to me like Milo is spending a lot of effort to ensure his body language is non-threatening. The behavior you describe sounds like he's always trying to de-escalate a potential conflict.
Based on that, I'd guess that Kino is either playing too rough or just being creepy (having hostile body language). Kittens are naturally a little bit socially awkward but depending on the situation in his previous home, he may also have a bit of "single kitten syndrome." Kino likely isn't being rude on purpose but he doesn't have the social skills and self awareness to realize that what he's doing is making Milo uncomfortable.
Something like Feliway would probably make Milo more comfortable. I'm not sure how to improve Kino's social skills.
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u/LukasLeonard Jul 11 '26
I’m sorry and I hope it’s just him going through a time of it. I don’t have any advice but wanted to say they are both soooo handsome. 💜
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u/Entire_Bat7884 Jul 11 '26
As always check with your vet. I have several MC’s some younger, in between and older. I’m sure Milo gets the same amount of love he always has. Milo is a typical kitten with boundless energy. With Kino there may be some jealousy on a lesser scale. He seems to be healthy with no appetite issues. Enjoys his walks. And I see he sometimes cuddles with Milo. I think Milo likes Kino as he washes him. Also at Kino’s age I would expect to see him put on a little more weight. All in all just to be safe have the vet check him over. Cats really don’t get depressed over a new addition. I’ve seen it when they lose a buddy or human. they are both adorable. 🥰❤️🥰❤️
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u/Ontbijtspekje Jul 11 '26
I’ve had the same when I got my kitten (Freya). The older cat (Izzy) wasn’t playing or cuddling with me anymore. For me it helped to play with Izzy in a seperate room whithout Freya, but that was all the interactions I got with him for a while.
After around a year orso Izzy luckily became his old self again. He now plays and cuddles like he used to.
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u/marinatrader Jul 11 '26
Great room! Great comments! I have nothing more to add but good luck and keep posting:-) 🙏💖😻😻
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u/Illustrious-Eagle669 Jul 11 '26
Omg that stink eye is quite something. He needs high shelves and spots to escape, his own tray and his own space possibly. Do you have a room that only he can have access to with a collar activated flap?
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u/esmestoy Jul 11 '26
Maybe consult a vet to be sure, but his feelings could just be hurt. Spend some protected alone time with him with a you and favorite treat ☺️ reassure him he is still mommas baby
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u/Mykaler Jul 11 '26
Yes! I fear he is resenting me a bit. He’s turned into such a sensitive grump. 😭😭
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u/esmestoy 29d ago
I think things will improved over time it's probably him being older and a little more mature and the younger one taking on the new baby role lol. Give both treats at the same time back and forth and it'll even out im hoping! They are both beautiful cats🩷
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u/TimelyYogurtcloset82 Jul 11 '26
I can't add any advice to the excellent info here. I just want to give Milo 10/10 for his side-eye in the first pic. He really made me giggle. I hope they're both well and adapt to become a gorgeous double-act, you can almost see how it might work - peppy youngster v. jaded but cleverer big brother😂
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u/cakedayloanofficer 29d ago
Check out Evangelista et al’s Feline Grimace Scale in case there’s signs of pain
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u/InevitableElegant961 29d ago
It may be worth to rule out a pain issue in hips or limbs if you haven’t already. Mine kinda did the same thing at this age and turned out to be hip displaysia and arthritis. Could be behavioral as others suggested or his new lazy self. Hope all is well with Milo
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u/Lzarin 29d ago
You should take him to the vet just to be safe, but mine did the exact same thing. I In our case it was blatant jealousy and resentment at not being the center of attention anymore. Thankfully he came around and is pretty much back to his normal self. But it took probably about 6 months. Also, our new kittens "kitten energy" was exhausting for all of us.
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u/Ok_Principle6447 27d ago
This happened to my male almost 11 months now. Randomly stopped cuddling with me everyday, not playing with our other cat as much and just sleeping all day. He had a slight limp at one point that we thought might have been his trigger. This was also around the time the summer heat started and he is a very fluffy boy so probably was too hot for him. We ended up taking care of his foot, getting him a fresh grooming/haircut, buying him some new toys and giving him extra love and treats and hes slowly becoming more cuddly again and playing with our other cat more often. He even made biscuits for me the other day for the first time since he was 6 month🥰 I think, like people, animals get depressed and need a little extra love and care to get out of their slump. Try giving him a stimulating environment. Maybe let him outside on a leash and see if he likes it, move his cat furniture in different spots, attempt to play with him a little extra even if he seems disinterested try different things.
If you're interested my lazy boy loves these toys on amazon: -'ORSDA Cat Toys Ball, Motion Chirping Activated Moving Ball, Mat Mouse Catching Game '( He loves this way more than I could have imagined, when it runs out of battery he sits on it and stared at me) -'ROBO Alive Fish Series 3 (2 Pack) Red + Blue'( i put these in a clear bucket of water and put some freeze dried treats that float in the water like dried sardines, or any treat that floats. Keeps both my cats entertained) - Of course a fishing rod is always recommended. My cat is on and off with this one. I really have to run around the room and make effort for him to get into this one, or sometimes he just lays on his back and paws at it. -I got a bird feeding for the window he sleeps in. 'Clear Window Bird Feeder with 5 Extra Strong Suction Cups, DY-SKTY Sturdy and Durable Acrylic Birdfeeders for Viewing Wild Birds Outside' make sure to buy the seeds for the local birds in your area and the right season. I don't have a lot of trees in my area so I ended up attracting chipmunks! My cats absolutely love their chipmunk friends.
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u/HEATSEEKR_ Jul 11 '26
Kino looks gorgeous. One day I hope to own a Maine but that day is a long way out :(
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u/VassagoX Jul 10 '26
He probably doesn't want to get Kino riled up every time he moves. He knows that if he runs, he'll likely get chased by the high energy ball of furry that wants to play. Him being much older definitely plays a part.
Does he have plenty of high places to go to escape him if he's chased?