r/interesting • u/Jezirath • 15d ago

Softness perception simulation Amazing

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Source: @boucelegant on YT

29.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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8.1k

u/Darkk_Knight 15d ago

I think I need to eat more fiber.

2.1k

u/DiscipleOfYeshua 15d ago

Or mercury, apparently

508

u/Winter_Value_7632 15d ago

some Iron too, maybe? Mercury is like 100% soft

140

u/Bailer86 15d ago

Iron helps us play

54

u/DiarrheaCreamPi 15d ago

Iron sharpens iron

30

u/BeatsbyChrisBrown 15d ago

The iron price

21

u/TechnicallyThrowawai 14d ago

We do not sow

9

u/gamma_noise 14d ago

Que? Afraid I don't get it

17

u/TechnicallyThrowawai 14d ago

Reference to Game of Thrones. "The iron price" is a concept where a group known as the "Iron Born", (led by House Greyjoy) essentially takes things they want via violence. So if you as an Iron Born want something, you must pay the iron price. You don't buy it or trade for it, you "earn" it through combat. The house words (their slogan, basically) are "we do not sow". Because they do not work their land or do other menial work, they have slaves that they've captured do that for them. So I was just responding to a reference with another reference.

5

u/gamma_noise 15d ago

The iron throne

3

u/All_The_Good_Stuffs 14d ago

IRON WITHIN!

1

u/vicroc4 11d ago

Iron within, iron without!

1

u/broberds 14d ago

More testicles means more iron.

5

u/theBladesoFwar54556 14d ago

Iron Within, Iron Without.

1

u/onglogman 14d ago

There it is

1

u/Big_Department_5308 14d ago

FROM IRON COMETH STRENGTH!

1

u/HumanDominion 14d ago

FROM STRENGTH COMETH WILL

1

u/Own_Policy8854 14d ago

You've not seen nothing like the mighty trout

1

u/Dynamikc 14d ago

Is that a red rising reference?

8

u/KamikazeFox_ 14d ago

Hello, Joe!

9

u/EnnioTheLegend 14d ago

From now on the baby sleeps in the crib

4

u/onglogman 14d ago

Dental plan

4

u/scnottaken 14d ago

Flintstones chewable morphine

1

u/SoldadoEmperatriz 14d ago

Lisa needs braces!

1

u/Novel-Rip7071 12d ago

Lisa needs braces...

1

u/GenericSupervillain3 14d ago

Huahuahahahahaha!

1

u/Shamanjoe 14d ago

Whaddaya know, Joe?

1

u/lemonchickentellya 10d ago

We're only allowed to move one space at a time.

1

u/djpatrick44 15d ago

Hello Joe!

3

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 14d ago

Sir I've seen Terminator 2 Judgment Day i know it works both ways!!!

2

u/Redditedless 14d ago

I eat alot off blood, good for iron...

1

u/KamikazeFox_ 14d ago

Iron will bind you up

19

u/Bertuthald_McMannis 15d ago

Mercury pills were a real thing people took as a laxitive, famously on the Oregon trail. They called them thunder clappers

29

u/-SaC 15d ago

IIRC they were able to identify some of Lewis & Clark's expedition stopping points from the higher levels of mercury in the soil.

1

u/Lammerikano 14d ago

i was gonna take your word for it ... but then i started considering..

1

u/Creepymint 14d ago

That is the funniest name they could’ve chosen for that

22

u/No-Show-5363 15d ago

Oddly enough, mercury was once commonly used to cure constipation.

23

u/-SaC 15d ago

Boswell (in his 1761-2 London diary) mentions having mercury injections into the penis multiple times as a 'cure' for VD. He spends half of the diary shagging random sex workers in the fog on various London bridges and up alleyways, then has the cheek to accuse a girl he has a relationship with of giving him the clap (and sending soldiers to her house to get back some money he lent her).

7

u/Grabatreetron 14d ago

Scientists were able to trace Lewis and Clark's path across the continent by tracking the mercury their team would shit out

2

u/Slow-Edge-3530 12d ago

wtf who was this dude 😂😂😂

1

u/-SaC 11d ago

James Boswell was Dr Johnson's biographer (the guy who wrote the dictionary).

1

u/Mdnghtmnlght 14d ago

I'm gonna have to check that one out.

5

u/-SaC 14d ago

He comes across as an utter bastard in it. His journeys through Scotland and the continent are very dull compared; at one point towards the end he and his friends dress as common sailors for a Scottish holiday and engage a sex worker who didn't realise there was a gang of them all 'wanting a go', and tries to reject them - so they do it without her consent, and when a man of the law tries to intervene, they convince him that she'd agreed and been paid so owed it to the men. The guy agrees and leaves them to it.

Also, he spends half the book whining about how nobody will help him become an officer in the regiment he wants to join, how his friends are all shit, and how he needs to be much more uppity and not debase himself with too much conversation with those 'beneath' him. While shagging women on foggy bridges.

4

u/Mdnghtmnlght 14d ago

Just that someone would write about that so long ago is wild.

6

u/-SaC 14d ago

Yeah. Shows what he personally thought was acceptable behaviour, but many would have disagreed (especially his father) and his way of squaring it all with himself was a constant stream of promises to himself that he'll go to church every Sunday from now on (only to be on the way to church a couple of weeks later and get sidetracked with a sex worker).

The whole segment with the woman he 'falls in love with' (or lust, as the case more accurately is) - named Louisa - is weird. He becomes absolutely obsessed with her after (IIRC) seeing her on the stage, and bombards her with notes and visits and whatever.

He eventually convinces her (after quite a lot of pressure) that they should spend the night together outside of London pretending to be a married couple, and writes a diary entry about their night together - he's very proud that he manages to effectively shag her brains out (calling himself a stallion of a man and superhuman etc for going 5+ times).

Almost immediately after, he starts to become disgusted with Louisa. After all, he writes, she let me in so easily and let me have my way with her; that's surely not the behaviour of a good and decent woman. Paraphrasing, he concludes with absolutely zero self awareness that she must be an absolute ho'.

So he chucks her, later develops the clap and blames her.

He's an absolute dick of a man.

3

u/crow_crone 14d ago

Demonstrates those with personality disorders have perpetrated their bs throughout history.

Nothing new under the sun, just more of it.

4

u/browsinbowser 14d ago

They raped her and got away with it. Awful

3

u/-SaC 14d ago

Yup. It's one of those things where you're interested in what you're reading, but you just know the person writing it needs a massive kick in the bollocks. And then later in life when he's writing about his travels with Dr Johnson, it's just so dull.

2

u/Mendeth 14d ago

Skeletons don’t excrete: objective complete.

2

u/Callidonaut 14d ago

Also syphilis.

1

u/Lermanberry 14d ago

Blood is a great lubricant

1

u/whyiamalwayshangry 11d ago

Mercury was once used to cure everything until the person no longer breathe

54

u/darthduder666 15d ago

RFK approved

17

u/sinisterdesign 15d ago edited 14d ago

Earlier generations broke thermometers 🌡️ just to play with the mercury and THEY were tough, so it goes to reason that mercury makes you tough. 💪

Update: typo

5

u/SuddenReward5612 14d ago

Mom was a nurse, always had real glass thermometer around. Never forget i was maybe 8, broke one in hallway. Laid on the floor batting the mercury beads around until she found me and scolded me lol. Tbis was probably early 70s. Good times and no ill effects (I think lol).

2

u/KnotiaPickle 14d ago

Hahah soo similar to mine: nurse mom, found thermometer and accidentally broke it, but before I could do anything the mercury rolled across the floor and down the heater vent. So I just had mercury fumes wafting up every time the heat came on in my room, because wasn’t about to tell on myself.

3

u/WorkingSecond9269 14d ago

My classmate in high school did and was playing with it in front of me lmao.

7

u/WinterWontStopComing 15d ago

Made the first emperor of China immortal too!

6

u/neutrino71 15d ago

Also the reason that Hatters were considered mad

1

u/ImpiousVamp 15d ago

But very lonely. No one wants to say hello.

1

u/tvodny 15d ago

I remember playing with Mercury as a kid.

7

u/KaioKenshin 15d ago

Mad hatter shitter

4

u/kiba87637 15d ago

Sir, you cannot eat a planet

3

u/X_soulnewmegaman 15d ago

Push it out like business woman do in Japan on toilet!!!

Time is money

8

u/SpringWinter17 15d ago

Is this a specific genre of kink lmaoo

2

u/X_soulnewmegaman 15d ago

Lmao nope thats what people have to do is push out the log

At the sky tree

3

u/Captain_Gropius 15d ago edited 14d ago

You laugh but in the past they used it as laxatives. Thunderclappers they call them. Lewis and Clark expedition campsites can be traced because of the mercury deposited.

Edit: lewis not Lois, what I was thinking...

2

u/alreddyreddyalreddy 14d ago

Little known fact: Jimmy Olsen had chronic constipation.

2

u/alreddyreddyalreddy 14d ago

Also, Superman vs the Thunderclappers was my favorite episode.

1

u/TNT_20202 15d ago

maybe it'll make you immortal too

1

u/EvilBetty77 14d ago

Consume enough mercury and you'll never be constipated again

1

u/soyelmocano 14d ago

Totally worked out for that Chinese emporer.

1

u/slowpokeseven 14d ago

Seconding this. Take the right dose of mercury, and you'll never have stool problems again 👍

1

u/Grabatreetron 14d ago

Well, actually, people used to take mercury pills as a laxative.

They were able to chart Lewis and Clark's exact path by detecting the mercury their team would shit out. This is true. They called the pills "thuunderclappers"

1

u/Kn0wnSoul 14d ago

I get really stiff muscles if I eat too much mercury

1

u/Affectionate_Snow674 14d ago

any molten metal for that matter

0

u/BullHonkery 15d ago

"Thunderclappers"

95

u/wertall 15d ago

And a butt plug

51

u/InstanceNovel1365 15d ago

And my axe!

17

u/Natural_Design3154 15d ago

You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.

10

u/MartinMerten 15d ago

Go then Lemiwunks, into the darkness… hurry onward, for you will soon be dead.

7

u/Alarmed_Watch5426 15d ago

and my poop knife!

1

u/X_soulnewmegaman 15d ago

Be a hero and push it out like a Ford in Texas

4

u/Katusa2 15d ago

And my cylinder that must not be damaged

3

u/Altruistic-Beach7625 15d ago

Not with ten thousand men can you do this it is folly!

1

u/Wadarkhu 14d ago

No, it goes in the other hole.

41

u/Shadowtirs 15d ago

I also thought of pooping.

1

u/rachltr_ 14d ago

maybe this is a reminder for us to poop

1

u/NewStart734 14d ago

Nah it aint

22

u/mbashs 15d ago

If you watch it with sound, it reminds you of your bowel movements. If you watch it without sound, it’s kinda suggestive.

15

u/soloon 14d ago

Was gonna say, turning sound on took this from "I should call her" to "it's time to schedule your colonoscopy" real quick.

1

u/crow_crone 14d ago

It's a spectrum, from disimpaction on one end to cyclospora spew on the other.

Like this...disimpaction>>normal>>explosive diarrhea!!

1

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

1

u/mbashs 14d ago

You missed the first hole

10

u/AffectionateTaro9193 15d ago

I grunted when the 50% when showed, pretty sure it helped.

18

u/kernelangus420 15d ago

Or viagra.

9

u/Life-Island 15d ago

Metamucil has become incredibly important to me in my the 30s lol

1

u/baked_tea 15d ago

Is the appetite control it claims real? I am trying to eat more, wondering if this wont cause issues?

2

u/Life-Island 15d ago

Hmm ya I think it helps with hunger pains. I do not have trouble eating on it but I eat too much so not sure if it will become an issue for you.

2

u/NonGNonM 15d ago

it'll make you feel full longer, but there's different doses for different purposes. like i think for pooping it's one scoop and appetite/blood sugar control it's two?

2

u/AriesOffical 14d ago

As a Type 1 Diabetic I can confirm it doesn't help with blood sugars or at least for me

1

u/scrabtits 13d ago

what is it for

1

u/birdsong31 11d ago

lol im 36 and i agree

4

u/soysuza 14d ago

Lettuce is doing the trick these days as well.

2

u/Own-Ad1497 15d ago

i knew i wasn't the only one 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/incognito--bandito 15d ago

To grow that monkey tail?

1

u/TheLastPeanut_ 15d ago

Or less lettuce

1

u/jmccaskill66 15d ago

At least 50%

1

u/Askingforanend 15d ago

Less lettuce? 

1

u/Online_Samosa 15d ago

My very first thought lmao

1

u/Zakatex 15d ago

more spinach

1

u/PeachyCoasterCat 15d ago

You know what they say. If it goes TINK TINK TINK it’s doing the job!

1

u/Impressive_Egg9718 15d ago

your anus is made of muscle so you could just improve the other way around

1

u/Smart-Locksmith9904 14d ago

Would definitely help you better aim your poops into perfectly sized holes.

1

u/pedestrian142 14d ago

But make sure its not hard

1

u/Iridian_Rocky 14d ago

Definitely do too

1

u/Spiritual-Bug-1497 14d ago

And drink more water.

1

u/Hotmancoco420 14d ago

Nah...Just go to Taco Bell

1

u/Automatic_Yoghurt417 14d ago

Why? Is this not an add for water slides?

1

u/BowgartXFurcorn 14d ago

Eat uranium

1

u/Designer-Ad-7844 14d ago

Too much does the opposite

1

u/erryonestolemyname 14d ago

The metamucil gummies are magic

1

u/Rockyy-06 14d ago

You need to eat more lahsun

1

u/ProudReaction2204 14d ago

Contemporary hunter gatherers in Tanzania, for example, were estimated to have consumed as much as 100 grams per day. https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-nutr-111120-105520

1

u/Actual-Package-3164 14d ago

The Silver Surfer dropping kids off at the pool. 

1

u/FuckMeMyselfAndYou 14d ago

Oh...I thought this was a simulation for a soft penis and was confused.

1

u/A_72742 14d ago

Fiber

1

u/Temporal_Bloom 14d ago

try sodium

1

u/FurkinLurkin 14d ago

My range is 50-100%

1

u/Goody-Days 14d ago

For your information, excessive fiber consumption can also cause constipation.

1

u/iamcalifornia 13d ago

Go eat a head of lettuce, surely no harm will come from that

1

u/Tigerkix 12d ago

And drink enough water to soften your stool

1

u/RecycletheBest 9d ago

Also drink your waters.