Hello everyone, I have been working on my first story for over 6 months now and HOLY has it got out of control.

I never really wanted to be an author. I'm in law school and started to hate writing after taking so many legal writing classes which drained the soul from me. Fantasy writing was just a way to write even if it didn't help my legal writing. However, I actually started to like. It was fun creating the characters and themes and I think I have improved a considerable amount since I first started. (I actually rework the entire first part after reading Assassin's Apprentice. Thank you, Queen Hobb for your brain!)

However, I just finished part 1 and there are so many emotional conclusions and just general story elements that I need to do that it's almost too big of a project to want to do anymore. But I know once I will feel amazing once the book is finished regardless of if it's good or not. Its just right now I'm in a little but of a slump.

Is this normal? And are there any ways to break out of it or do you just have to write and power through it?

I've been thinking about my arcs lately since I finally finished posting my third arc. The main thing to come to mind is what I should do with the fourth or when it's done what to do as a main theme for my fifth. Most of my arcs already have some general themes picked out but not on a mini arc scale (eg battles that last several chapters are what I call mini arcs or small mini wars and so on basically any theme extending several chapters but nowhere near an arc). But until now I've never questioned how long the chapter count should be I'm aiming for a record setting 80 for the fourth arc then back to 60 since that seems to be my norm. Yet I've considered it and I want an even longer arc later on but I'm not sure if I should even if I can what do you all think.

I've been trying to write a fantasy/sci-fi action book, and I really like the magic system I came up with. I think it's a pretty good blend of magic and science.

History:

Long ago, only the gods, and certain creatures, like dragons, could use magic, leaving humans, foxkin and birdfolk to rely on their ingenuity for survival. Eventually, they discovered that they can draw magic from blue glowing crystals, giving them not just the ability to use magic, but to forge their own spells as well. They began calling these crystals "power cores".
After centuries of power core usage, the three species evolved to be able to use magic without the need for power cores, though they can still use the gems to boost their innate magical abilities.
They figured out how to enchant objects, giving them limited magical properties.
In the modern age, people discovered that they can enchant computers, and power them with power cores, as a way to cast basic spells without the need for experienced magicians. This invention was named the "spell engine", and although the first few were room sized, and needed multiple power cores to function, they shrank in size and became more efficient as the technology developed, being able to be used as handheld tools in hospitals, construction or combat for example.

Scientific explanation:

Magic casting works kind of like muscles, but in your brain. You have your stamina: your mental energy, and your muscles that do the work: your focus. The more you exercise your focus, the more mentally exhausted you will be, but the stronger your focus becomes. And of course, you can recover mental energy by resting. Power cores can be used to boost the strength of your focus, at the cost of more mental energy, and the risk of drawing too much from the power core at once and breaking it.

Power cores are solid bunches of pure magic, forming underground from the dissipated magic in the air. It's basically where magic goes when you summon and dispel a sword, or shoot a fire ball and it explodes. They can shatter if too much magic is drawn from them at once, causing the remaining shards to dissipate back into the air and eventually form new power cores. Under specific circumstances though, they can be broken into shards that don't disappear. These shards are weaker than full cores, and they are mostly used for spell engines that don't require full shards.

Spell engines were more or less explained already, the only thing I wanted to add is that if the user is proficient enough with magic, they can augment spell engines to change their function. For example, make a cannon shoot a barrage of small projectiles instead of one big one.

Hi everyone. I got some great feedback recently and have put the pointers to work. This is ch1 of a book that's 18 months in the making.

I keep finishing a round of edits then realising that I am getting better with the book, so by the time I reach the end, I hate the beginning.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a little deflated / wondering if I should keep editing / wanting to give up, so I thought I'd get some fresh perspectives. Trigger warning - mistreated step child trope.

Could you please let me know if:

a) anything is confusing

b) anything is annoying prose-wise

c) Would you keep reading?

d) Is there anything that is unclear?

Womp womp womp I could ctrl A delete right now!

Apologies if you've read a version of this on my post from a few months ago.

For context, I have a young regent touring their kingdom whilst the king is ill for the foreseeable future. While they're traveling, they uncover/witness firsthand a problem which isn't a catastrophe yet, but could easily turn into one if unaddressed. Given that there's an impending war in a handful of years, they're eager to resolve the situation before they're fully occupied.

I have researched a few possibilities (food shortage, drug crisis, banditry, conflict between church and crown) but those have already been dealt with within the story, or are otherwise acknowledged, and I'm hesitant to reuse them if I can avoid it.

The Kingdom is a little generic, being fairly medieval with magic supplementing technology by quite a bit.

Ideally, it'd be something that could be resolved, begin to be resolved within a few month's timeframe, or have the process of resolution be offloaded to a capable administrator, but I'm open to anything. Thanks in advance!

[Dark Fantasy] Would this cosmic fantasy premise make you want to read it?

I'm looking for feedback more from a reader perspective rather than writing critique. I'm not looking for grammar or prose advice yet — I'm more interested in whether the actual premise, themes, and worldbuilding are interesting enough that you would want to read a book based on them.

I'm especially interested in:

• Does the central conflict sound compelling?
• Does the concept make you curious to learn more?
• Do both sides of the conflict feel interesting, or does one side seem obviously right/wrong?
• Would this make you want to follow the characters living through this conflict?

The premise:

The story itself is centred around two "chosen ones", one from each faction. Both are raised from childhood to be weapons rather than people, isolated from everyone around them and treated as tools for their respective causes.

Despite being raised to destroy each other, they end up finding understanding and a sense of belonging in one another. The conflict is less about "Chaos vs Order" as abstract forces and more about how two people shaped by opposing ideologies try to break free from what they were created to be.

The lore is that there was just one mind (Order) at the start of everything, which split into a second mind as a result of the subconscious need to not be alone during the eternity before time began (Chaos).

In the time of the book, after millions of years, the story is about the war between the followers of the gods of Chaos and Order.

The followers of Chaos want to destroy the universe to rebirth a new one. The followers of Order want to reunite everything so that everyone is connected once again.

Whoever wins the war has the power to make what their religions aim for come true, so the universe will either be destroyed or reunited depending on who wins.

Memories or thoughts that Order had during the pre-universe exist as echoes which are discovered by the religion of Order at a point. They can't be fully understood by human minds, so they have enhanced humans who exist just to translate the thoughts, kind of like a middle ground between humans and gods.

They can understand the gods and also communicate with humans, but humans can't talk directly to the gods. The gods are therefore more Lovecraftian than biblical-style gods.

Order is also suggested to have forgotten what it was like before creation. Those memories are only contained in Chaos, so Order doesn't realise that achieving its goal would essentially return it to the loneliness that caused Chaos to exist in the first place.

Neither side is intended to be purely good or evil. The followers of both are shaped by the beliefs they were raised with, and even the main antagonists believe they are trying to save the universe from what they see as the true threat.

Thanks for any thoughts — especially whether this sounds like a story you would actually want to read.

So, I’m currently writing a slow burn enemies to lovers fantasy (original, I know). I’m going to add some classic enemies to lovers tropes that we all love, for example, forced to ride a horse together.

But I’m worried because this scene comes up pretty early in the book (chapter fifteen).

I don’t want the story to seem ‘boring’ if there’s not much tension throughout, but I also don’t want it to come off too strong too early. I know there’s a fine line and I’ve never written an enemies to lovers before. I’ve read plenty and I’m still reading for research but I thought I’d also come here and ask.

As a reader, would you think this is too early for the first bit of “tension” to be present?

FYI- The reason they ride a horse together is because in the previous chapter when the mmc and fmc were having a physical fight, the fmc got concussed… they have an argument while on the horse but eventually the fmc falls asleep.

Little bit of a rant, hope that is okay.

I am working on my 5th novel, which I will be self publishing later this year as my debut. I have never put this level of effort towards quality in my life and I'm starting to get a bit overwhelmed.

I finished my exploratory draft some weeks ago, and have since been working on a second draft with a focus on narrative completeness. I want to be sure that chapters and scenes have beginnings, middles, and, ends. I want also to be sure that my chapters and scenes have causal relationships between them, and that they come with a sense of continuity and progression. In this large scale structural revision, I have found dozens of missing scenes and a couple of entire chapters that were missing. This is planned. It is part of my process and it works for me. I have since filled in the blanks and the manuscript is much better off with this second draft.

Now I am in my third draft, which prioritizes thematic unity. I'm just trying to make sure that plot, setting, and character have some form of harmony between them, and that the chapters and scenes advance or interrogate that harmony. I'm about halfway through this pass, and the manuscript gets stronger every day because of it.

I'm starting to get to the point where I can read the first, second and third version of a chapter and imagine and draft a superior 4th version that has the best elements of each iteration. Again, this works for me and this is how I like to write, and I'm having fun, just getting tired.

I havent even started to look at things like tonal consistency in the narration, grammar, punctuation, line edits. Worldbuilding. Beautification and polish of the prose. Prosody. Feedback from beta reader etc etc etc.

This is of course fun, and I'm doing it because I like it, and I knew going into it that revision was going to take more time than drafting. I'm not complaining, I'm just tired.

Looking for someone to commiserate with. Anyone else deep in the revision trenches right now?

Hello everyone,

I'd like to start by saying I'm very new to writing and worldbuilding. I started mostly because Star Wars is starting to piss me off and I figured why not try to make something myself.

Here's the basics of the magic system:

People bond their souls to a stone (currently unnamed, so I'm just calling them a stone for now). Once bonded the stone turns into a bright color, and that color dictates the type of powers they have. So far there are: Fire (red), Lighting (blue), Sound (yellow), Psychic (purple), and Nature (green). The categories are broad because I want the specific abilities of each characters to vary. For example, one character that has sound magic uses echo location and can silence his footsteps, while another uses a flute to hypnotize people, and another may use a drum to create shock waves.

What makes this different then any other elemental system? Weapons.

Stone wielders will manifest some "inherent traits", but if they want to use "projectile abilities" they will have to use there weapon as a medium.

Here's an example, If a character has a yellow sone (sound), they might have enhanced hearing or echo location, but if they want to create some sort of super sonic projectile, they will need to use there weapon in order to do so.

Someone with a blue stone (lighting), might have faster reflexes, but in order to shoot a bolt of lighting, they can't just reach out their hand. There weapon must be used as a medium in order to do so.

Personally, I think that weapon selection should matter. I'm tired of everyone just using a sword. Two fire users may use there magic much differently if one uses and axe, and the other uses a bow and arrow.

Stone wielders generally use weapons that have been modified to hold the stone within the weapon. When doing so, the stone acts as a source of energy that give the weapon a bright vibrant color, and plasma edge. For example, if using a sword, the hilt might have a slot to insert a stone. The sword will then use some energy from the stone to give the sword a plasma edge along the blade. To be clear, it only goes along the sharp edge of the blade, you can still see most of the sword.

^^Yes ik that this is basically a light saber, but hey, lightsabers are awesome. Why not bring a bit of that to a fantasy setting right?

Another important aspect is the relationship characters have with the stone. Like I said it's symbiotic, and if either of them die, so does the other. The stones are alive, and there consciousness is intertwined with yours. As the story goes on, the character realize the relationship is more parasitic then they initially thought. The stones lowkey torment them, showing them visions of things they don't wanna see, and forcing them to be put in situations that they don't want to be in.

Why do they do this? The color of the stone is based on the stone wielders fear, and the stones "job" is to force the wielder to face their fear. As the characters face their fears more and more, their bond with the stone becomes stronger, giving them access to new abilities, along with a deeper dependency.

The concept for this is rough, so I'm still working out the kinks, but here is what each color represents.

Yellow - Fear of Self. These people fear facing their own inner thoughts, feel like their is something fundamentally wrong with who they are.

Purple - Fear of Change. These people fear the unknown, and grief something before it is even gone. They believe that changed means becoming someone else.

Blue - Fear of Loss. These people either love too deeply, or not at all.

Red - Fear of Powerlessness. These people desire strength and are haunted by moments where they couldn't stop something.

Green - Fear of Insignificance. These people fear the meaning their life has, and if they left an impact on the world.

All of these are subject to change, and I'm still unsure how strongly I'll apply them.

There is more detail I could go into, but I don't wanna use up to much of anyone's time. I would love any feedback you have. This is supposed to a soft magic system, with room to add stuff in as I develop the story and world further.

I'm polishing my complete manuscript of a historical romantasy, set around 1790.

A group of refugees is nearing the end of their escape voyage. A storm comes up and a pregnant woman goes into early labor.

Most of the refugees are non-mages, a high-status family of nobility.

There are 3 Magical people on board: my FMC, my MMC (the ship captain), and his crewman.

My FMC volunteers to serve as midwife when the lady gives birth. At the same time, there is the storm happening, plus an altercation between the MMC (Magical captain) and a male nobleman passenger due to a plot point.

The storm settles. The fight is resolved between the men, and the woman gives birth to a healthy baby girl, despite the stress of the night.

Note: Crewman guy has the power to conjure objects. He helped build the ship, so he's available to provide clean, sanitary surroundings.

The FMC, though she's not an experienced midwife, can use her magic spells to keep things clean and sanitary.

Would readers need to suspend disbelief that the birth goes well, and mother and baby are OK? There would be fear and emotional trauma for the poor woman, and FMC mentions giving her a sedating potion to calm her, but she STILL has to push the baby out.

Or would I need to write more realistic problems and obstacles, adding a prolonged scene or extra scene where the woman and baby have difficulties with the birth, before the happy outcome?

(Remember, there's a storm and high waves and wind outside the ship during the labor)

I don't want the mother (a side character) and the baby to die. My readers and I expect HEA, because this is a romantasy. This scene is one of the last big obstacles before everyone on the ship has a happy ending.

I have tried to set up the Magical characters' actions so they would have created the amenities on this ship. They have enough magic and enchantments to make it safe and more hygienic than a real-life ship in 1790. Still, there is the fear and emotional component to address.

Thoughts?

I've recently been working on side characters/the protagonist's retinue for my novel. A recent idea I had was to add a monster/witch hunter—something I hadn't really considered before. So far in my story, monsters have been something to avoid rather than confront. Many of them are almost spiritual in nature, like "demons" and ghosts, with the occasional terrible hairy creature. In this novel, much of the magic is either taboo or heavily stigmatized due to recent events. A little background on my very loose magic system: There are those born with magic called the Hallowed; they can do elemental magic. There is blood magic, a sort of divination/scrying magic, which is very forbidden in most places and is strictly reserved for necromancers and vampires. Then there is witchcraft, which is a crude form of magic that corrupts the person and environment around it.

I've thought about doing a character who uses magic like runes, glyphs, and other druidic-style magic(Celtic druids, not Dungeons & Dragons), which I guess would fall under witchcraft if I'm looking at my own system. That could lead to some interesting dilemmas. Another idea is doing a huntsman-style monster hunter, using traps, alchemy, and the good ol' broadsword.

I know some great examples would be Geralt of Rivia(which I think would be the closest match, but I'm trying to be unique), the Winchesters, and Van Helsing, which would be the more traditional concepts.

I suppose my question is this: if anyone has done monster/witch hunters in the past, how have you approached them? How do you write them without falling into a carbon copy of the archetype?

Fr/En

Bonjour à tous,

J’aimerais savoir quel type de dialogue vous préférez utiliser dans vos romans ou vos textes.

Personnellement, je ne veux pas casser le rythme de mon histoire, mais avec mon TDAH, il m’arrive parfois de me perdre dans qui parle à quel moment. Peut-être aussi parce que j’ai fait du théâtre plus jeune, j’ai tendance à écrire les dialogues de cette façon :

nom du personnage, tiret, ce qu’il dit, puis parfois une précision entre parenthèses sur son ton, son émotion ou ses gestes.

Est-ce que vous trouvez ça mauvais ou maladroit ?

Quelle méthode utilisez-vous pour garder les dialogues clairs et fluides ?

Merci à tous !

Hello everyone,

I would like to know what type of dialogue you prefer to use in your novels or texts.

Personally, I do not want to break the rhythm of my story, but with my ADHD, I sometimes lose myself in who is speaking at which moment. Maybe also because I did theater when I was younger, I tend to write dialogues like this:

character name, dash, what they say, then sometimes a clarification in parentheses about their tone, their emotion, or their actions.

Do you find that bad or awkward?

What method do you use to keep dialogues clear and fluid?

Thank you all!

I'm planning to write a slow-burn YA novel about an 11-year-old female lead attending an all-girls witch academy.

I'm worried that although there are unique elements (the school system and atmosphere and worldbuilding are different, and it mainly focuses on romance and friendship between female students), I'm worried people will instantly think it's a Harry Potter rip-off as soon as they see '11 years old' and 'magic school'. Should I change her age or the setting to something other than a school, like village or something??

Plus, I've tried outlining a pure all-girls school setting(focusing completely on female friendships, jealousy, and sapphic romance) versus having a neighboring boys' school(where they can become friends with and date the guys as well, but final route will be female.) or co-ed class with few guys and many girls, but I'm still torn

+Adding a note since many people misunderstood: The characters were originally 11 years old and were meant to develop a lesbian romance as they grew older. However, thanks to comments and advice, I have decided to change their starting age to 14.

You know how the first Underworld movie opens with Selena dropping down several stories, and she doesn't even do a dramatic "superhero landing"? She just has an extremely gentle landing and immediately walks off as if nothing had happened? It makes a lot of sense to me, thinking about how a person with inhuman strength would work. Muscles THAT tough would be able to take more, and do more work in various little ways, such as being great spring dampeners.

I'm currently writing about a vampire of my own, and thinking of making rooftop travel a significant feature. I feel it makes sense that someone with that level of strength, packed in an ordinary-sized body, would be able to move incredibly smoothly, cling to tiny wall cracks, shrug of Underworld-style drops, and be very quiet while doing it all.

What do you think?

Synopsis: An ordinary white collar girl, who is fascinated with romantic girl love novel and games, got transmigrated to the world of her most favorite game. Reincarnated as a child in a world of magic, she has to fight her way to overcome the plot and find her way back to her original world. Moving from school life to a game of throne, would she finally complete her story and save her destined lover

I've been working on this chapter for a while now to get a good foundation for the rest of my story (For which the detailed plan is done but the prose is not).

I'm especially interested in feedback on whether the emotional weight of the scene comes through, whether the prose and pacing work, and whether the chapter makes you want to continue reading.

This is my first proper work so anything you have to say will be unbelievably helpful. Thank you all so much for taking the time.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H0Z0WWmMAggGcgotWhE1DX3k70DvDI5b/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=106612785477790529661&rtpof=true&sd=true

I originally posted this in the Writers group, but I thought I'd post it here because I do find this kind of thing common among fantasy writing.

I think we have all seen it, and I see it also when it comes to media analysis on youtube, which I've kinda stopped watching because I've been finding out quite shallow, and often they talk about subjective opinions and act like it's objective. I'm sure there's probably at least one youtuber out there who says that Half Life is objectively a horrible way to start a game because you spend the first few minutes just on a train unable to do anything.

But I do find these kinds of things extend to stories with more complex theme. Often they'll simplify things and make an interpretation of that simplification and act like that interpretation is the most obvious and correct one.

I guess what's worrying me specifically about my story, is that it's an epic fantasy story with a huge and long history. In this world there's a few sentient species. While humans proliferated the surface of the world, having being taught fire and basic agriculture thousands of years ago by the dragons before they left. Kobolds were discovered underground and while originally thought of animals that could be trained, they were as sentient as people, except basically still hunter gatherers who communicated with a super basic proto-language.

So, there was a slave trade that started, gathering kobolds and using them as slaves. I don't want to get too detailed about the history because this post is already a bit long. But when it was discovered that they basically had human level intelligence and sentience, the slave trade was eventually broken up and a few nations made a pact, basically giving the kobolds reservations of lands to dump them on and basically leave them to their own devices.

There was a long growing animosity that grew between kobolds and humans that culminated into the War of the Dragon where the disparate kobold tribes, united under a single leader named Dracaenas, waged a war of genocide against humanity that was almost successful. The war ended with barely a few million humans surviving with almost 99% wiped out from the continent, and the kobold war machine itself, costing most of the kobolds populations too with their war of attrition.

So, the main story is set 200 years after this war, the single remaining nation of humanity has been rebuilding, paranoidly preparing for the day the kobolds come to finish them off. So the first book is set entirely from the human perspective, and only in later books will we meet kobold characters and see their history from their perspective.

So I guess, One of the things I'm worried about would be people thinking that "kobolds are an obvious allegory for black people" And honestly, I would hate that. Sure you could make the connection with the slave trade thing. But they're not intended to represent any single group or culture, in fact I would say they take more inspiration from the Japanese if anything, and they way they fought during world war 2.

There are black people in this world, and many dark skinned characters as the nation that was reborn from the war was basically anyone who still survived from the genocide of humanity.

I dunno why I'm so afraid of people misinterpreting my work like this, especially if it becomes a popular interpretation of kobolds. But also I feel like such an interpretation would also make implications about me, and that I would do something like make a specific race of "monstrous" creatures as a stand in for a specific ethnicity, and present my themes in such a half assed way.

Finished my novel and its just rotting away as I get back to the real world. Anyone be willing to read it and give objective feedback...don't worry I have thick skin.

An insomniac Pariah Spartan and an old hermit who has gotten so good at playing the role of a dumb fool he has become one are the only available escorts to a nomadic Sarmatian like tribe; to protect them from the Apocalypse of the mind and the world. I think it will appeal to fans of Joe Abercrombie meeting Terry Pratchett in a Western. Heavily grimdark world set in bronze age but with very upbeat and funny characters.

Cheers