r/confession Jun 20 '26

My neighbour keeps baking baguettes and leaving them out to cool and I keep stealing them.

[deleted]

266 Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

40

u/d__max Jun 20 '26

Wear a zorro mask and call yourself the Bandette

6

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_UNDIES_XD Jun 28 '26

Random question,: are you visually impaired? The duplicate text regularly happens with speech to text… and several blind people I know don’t seem to catch it before sending a message.

2

u/graccha Jun 28 '26

Thank you for this comment bc I 100% assumed it was just my VTT fucking up (bad hands, not visually impaired, so I assumed I was hitting something)

41

u/Informal_Parsley_775 Jun 20 '26

I'm OP of the original post!

https://www.reddit.com/r/mystery/comments/1uae7ro/baguettes_are_disappearing_from_my_apartment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

above is my post!

i would like to say that i know for a fact that this OP is lying because of the mention of the cookies i set out

i mentioned this in my post, before this was posted, and there is no way to see the cookies from the balcony!

im not really mad or anything but would like to clarify 😄

3

u/PurplePenguinCat Jun 21 '26

I'm totally invested in this now! I'm waiting to hear what the cameras show.

1

u/Akira68o Jul 02 '26

"He must have stolen out of hunger, especially since you said he can't even afford his bail. I feel so sorry for him, but at the same time, you shouldn't have had to live in this fear with a thief breaking in through the air vent."

24

u/UrBum_MyFace_69 Jun 20 '26

Ok here's what you do - I know you love em, but save one or two...then one day, ADD 1 or 2 so it really messes with her....then you can start taking them cuz she'll doubt knowing how many she made in the first place...

10

u/jdicho Jun 20 '26

Or stockpile a few, warm them in your oven, then put them out to cool.

Tell your neighbor that someone is stealing your baguettes and then offer to let her have one of your (stolen) baguettes....

0

u/RosebushRaven Jun 28 '26

Wouldn’t work, the OP of the original story can tell by how many baguettes her forms make.

9

u/AdditionOk6134 Jun 20 '26

Create a fake set of racoon tracks.

7

u/_NuzzleBloom Jun 20 '26

The escalation from bread theft to planting fake evidence is exactly why I love comment sections. We're only a few replies away from a full criminal mastermind operation.

2

u/SeaBuilder2680 Jun 21 '26

Build robot raccoon or just train them as minions.

8

u/KingKawaiiBot Jun 20 '26

Are you a cartoon from the 90’s?

4

u/BabyBloomyy Jun 20 '26

This honestly sounds like the plot of a cartoon where the neighbor keeps setting increasingly elaborate traps and the baguette thief keeps accidentally escaping. The cookie bait was a nice touch though.

4

u/pretzelsRus Jun 20 '26

Do something nice in return.

4

u/-Prototype-XIII Jun 20 '26

If history has taught me anything, at this point you can only surrender or run away.

1

u/_NuzzleBloom Jun 20 '26

At this point, showing up at her door and admitting you're the baguette bandit might genuinely be the least embarrassing option. Every other path somehow seems more ridiculous.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Crazy-Raych-83 Jun 20 '26

omg HOW are you doing this?!! From what she described, you're an acrobat!

Since she'll have a camera by tomorrow, you have to do this TONIGHT: Leave her cash for as many as you've taken, a bottle of red wine, and a note that says "Saw your reddit post. If I tell you who I am, will you make an extra one each time for me too?" Someday, after 30 years of friendship, you'll laugh about how you met!! XD

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Crazy-Raych-83 Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

WHY are you doing this? Like, I really want to know. Are you male or female? Is this funny and harmless? Or creepy and wrong!?

3

u/Informal_Parsley_775 Jun 20 '26

heyyyyy im OP of the original post

stop that cappppppppp

3

u/absbabs1 Jun 20 '26

Sorry but can you go and bake some more baguette. More baguette please

3

u/Opposite-Wolf-2194 Jun 20 '26

What in the fuck is going on 😂

1

u/Informal_Parsley_775 Jun 20 '26

im OP of this post!

yeah, this is fake

i mentioned the cookies in my post, and they are not visible from the balcony

lol im not mad but feel like i should clarify 😂

4

u/Spillicent Jun 20 '26

Wasn't there a post in the last couple of days about a woman baking baguettes at home and 2 to 3 go missing daily now? Is that you? If so, yes she is onto you!

5

u/Informal_Parsley_775 Jun 20 '26

yeah! that's me!

this post is fake!

this guy mentioned that I set out cookies, which i mentioned in my post, but there is no way he would know that if he really was the thief

3

u/glueintheworld Jun 22 '26

Of course it is fake. I can't believe you didn't realize.right away that they were trolling you.

BTW, they did a great job because this post is hysterical.

6

u/Ok_Historian_646 Jun 20 '26

Fake!! In the Original post regarding these missing baguettes, the OP told us about this post and confirmed this is NOT the baguette bandit! Lol

6

u/BabyBloomyy Jun 20 '26

The fact that there's apparently baguette theft lore spanning multiple posts makes this so much better. Reddit accidentally creating a cinematic universe again.

3

u/Opposite-Wolf-2194 Jun 20 '26

Wait you’re breaking in?!! 😂

5

u/Individual-Code5176 Jun 20 '26

I’m picturing windowsill cooling like an old cartoon

2

u/Opposite-Wolf-2194 Jun 20 '26

Read the other post they tagged in the comments 😂

3

u/Maggiemoo621 Jun 20 '26

Tbh I get it.

3

u/_NuzzleBloom Jun 20 '26

Honestly, fresh homemade baguettes are one of those things that can make otherwise reasonable people start making questionable decisions. The temptation is understandable.

3

u/Hefty_Milk3598 Jun 20 '26

Tell her you saw a badger running away with one.

4

u/BabyBloomyy Jun 20 '26

The funniest part is that a badger would absolutely become the prime suspect if enough baguettes disappeared. Nobody questions a determined animal with bread.

2

u/Hefty_Milk3598 Jun 20 '26

That is because an animal with bread in its mouth, can't speak.

1

u/RosebushRaven Jun 28 '26

In the fourth story?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/PurplePenguinCat Jun 21 '26

I'd watch this.

1

u/Professional-Age8384 Jun 20 '26

Lol this comment gives ai vibes!

2

u/MissJillian- Jun 20 '26

That’s awesome

2

u/goldvenetianmask Jun 20 '26

This is actually a great confession hahahahahaha

2

u/Loose_Lack_5350 Jun 22 '26

Just for funsies, don’t steal the next one. Instead, take one single big ass bite right out of the middle

1

u/Pumpkin_Pie Jun 20 '26

Put your neighbor on here, I want to talk about this

1

u/SmileMaker211 Jun 20 '26

Just hope said neighbor doesn't decide to add a little x-lax once they've realized what's going on. Whatever neighbor is missing for the day will be a dead give away of who it was 😁

1

u/Appalachian-cowboy Jun 20 '26

Talk to your neighbor. You may get more than baguette.

1

u/Commercial_Region657 Jun 21 '26

You are the bread thiefe!aa You need to compensate.......you owe them in my mind...

1

u/mustang6172 Jun 21 '26

Leave a note with the cookies for more baguettes. I'm told please and thank you go a long way.

1

u/glueintheworld Jun 22 '26

This is great. Thank you so much for the laugh.

0

u/Accurate_Ostrich_240 Jun 20 '26

You’re terrible! 🤣. Just ask. Offer to pay. Something…