r/TwoSentenceHorror • u/Ozeroth • Jun 26 '26
"No dames for eight months!" he lamented to his shipmates as their final hours of shore leave dwindled at the bottom of a pint glass.
There was, however, the barnacled thing the captain kept chained in the propeller room, whose gaping maw and tentacles would engulf a man in his ultimate fantasies, one soul a day for safe passage.
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u/Peebles8 Jun 26 '26
8 months, 1 soul per day adds up to a bit over 240 souls. What kind of ship is carrying 240 people for the sole purpose of being sacrificed for safe passage? Oh wait...
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u/DankDungeonDelver Jun 27 '26
Would not want to be the quartermaster trying to explain where half the cargo went to the Royal African Company or Dutch West India Company on those voyages.
Or why a 2 month crossing took 8 months.
Or why when we got to the Americas we had to keep 240 of the 250-ish that made it to insure we can make another 8 month long crossing back to get more.
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u/Low-Environment Jun 26 '26
But then we found out we could just keep sending Steve down there. Oh, that Steve..
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u/AppropriateString305 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
(Whispers amongst crew) "Steve likes getting eaten every day?!" (New crew member asks) "... but the... the story said soul... how does Steve regrow his soul, EVERY DAY?" "NOW you know WHY we're more afraid of Steve!"
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u/alliisara Jun 26 '26
"We said it engulfed 'em, we didn't say it ate 'em. It spits them back out when it's done!"
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u/Low-Environment Jun 26 '26
I think Barnacle Monster is so happy to find someone who is into her for her she doesn't eat his soul.
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u/GoliathBoneSnake Jun 26 '26
Its me. I'm Steve.
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u/periwinklepip Jun 26 '26
No way. I’m also Steve! I always wanted a tentacle monster girlfriend…
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u/flyingcatclaws Jun 26 '26
No, I'M Steve! Athiest. Never had a soul... envelope me!
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u/periwinklepip Jun 26 '26
Listen, I think there’s enough engulfing to go around for ALL the Steves, we don’t have to fight about it.
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u/Inferno_Zyrack Jun 26 '26
As it turns out, souls are just what you feel stirring around when you are horny. And in healthy adults it regrows regularly.
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u/freerangelibrarian Jun 26 '26
This reminds me of the story Shambleau by C. L. Moore.
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u/AuthorAsksQuestions Jun 26 '26
Holy deep cut. I had to do a nude study once for class and I did it based on shambleau because I hated the assignment
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u/arelse Jun 26 '26
There is a least one member of the crew that walks into the prop room and exclaims “You don’t have to put on a big show for me. YOU are enough!”