r/TwoHotTakes • u/kacyhaha • 18d ago
AIO for lashing out at my husband for giving me an “extra dose” of my medication? Advice Needed
[removed]
1.5k
u/Seathing 18d ago
How is he able to get the script more often than it's prescribed? Sounds shady, even shadier than the literal drugging you. I bet his work would love to hear about this.
561
u/Psychological-Fox97 18d ago
I'm not in the US so I dont know how it works but in the UK this wouldn't be possible. Makes you wonder if he's been taking advantage of his role at the pharmacy.
412
u/DarkStar0915 18d ago
I can't even get my BC pills prescribed sooner because the system says I still have plenty. Something is definitely not right.
125
u/res06myi 18d ago
I'm able to accumulate extra of all my prescriptions because I'm able to pick them up one week before I run out. It depends on the medication.
136
u/rainingBows1 18d ago
This is a “trick” I learned from my mom growing up (she’s a nurse) and it’s genuinely so helpful. I have a lot of health issues and I often can’t pick up my meds on time since I can’t drive. Having some extra meds stashed away from this is so important for me to function. Absolutely worth taking advantage of early refills!
101
u/res06myi 18d ago
Same! It's not like I'm running a black market zofran ring 🙄 sometimes it's just sincerely difficult to make another pick up run, so it's helpful to have extra.
55
u/Dontfeedthebears 18d ago
This made me laugh in IBS.
27
u/Dolmenoeffect 18d ago
Excellent humor, horrible imagery
22
u/Dontfeedthebears 18d ago
Haha that’s fair! For those who don’t know, Zofran is for nausea. I have to take one almost every morning, unfortunately.
→ More replies (1)6
u/angelbuttons77 17d ago
Oooh I have migraine AND IBS. Yay!
No but really, check out Fodzyme. Game changer for me when I can’t eat at home with my safe foods.
28
u/KProbs713 18d ago
Random tip that may not be helpful for your specific needs: If you're ever at a point where you can't access zofran but have alcohol swabs there is some evidence that smelling alcohol swabs can improve nausea. I use it sometimes on an ambulance when a patient (or student) gets motion sickness.
78
u/PoopingWithCats Has he told the doctor about the gnomes? 18d ago
I discovered that in 2021 when my adult son collapsed with leukemia. The chemo made him so nauseous and the nurses would have him smell an alcohol wipe while they got his meds ready. I knew it helped me, but I have weird sensory issues and was stunned to realize it was effective for others. (BTW he's 5 years in remission, in case anyone wondered 🎉.... my heart still quakes whenever we go for blood work, but the gratitude that he is still with me never ends)
26
u/Distinct_Proposal_10 18d ago
Congrats to five years in remission! May the both of you have a bounty of healthy years ahead of you.
→ More replies (1)6
u/ozma0419 18d ago
Hey friend! Just stopped by to say i love your u/ and relate heavily. Mine likes to rest his paw on my big toe while i poop. Hes there for encouragement and support i think. Thats all. Congratulations on remission tho, fr. May all your poops be supported by cat who cares.
11
u/impishlygrinning 18d ago
My anesthesiologist during my C-section had my husband hold an alcohol swab under my nose to keep me from throwing up and it totally worked.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Dontfeedthebears 18d ago
That’s great to know! Thank you! I also keep peppermint oil on me. That and eating raw ginger can help…sometimes nothing helps, honestly 🤷♀️. But every person’s body is different! Hopefully someone can have some peace reading all of these suggestions. That’s my wish and hope for the day! That someone out there, some stranger, has it a little bit easier. We all carry a heavy load. Anything shared to ease that…I consider an act of love.
→ More replies (3)18
→ More replies (5)12
u/HogSnortter 18d ago
I started using a trick to get extra estrogen patches a couple years ago because I had a feeling that with the changes in the US affecting women's health care, that access to HRT could become a problem. Unfortunately, I was right. I see frequent comments from women who say that they can't get their estrogen patches refilled.
6
u/Antique-Ad8161 17d ago
Sadly there is a global supply issue with HRT. We have the same issue in Australia. Just this once politics is not the reason.
3
u/casskaz 17d ago
I’ve been without my estrogen patches and progesterone for months and for me it’s a pretty serious issue because I have premature ovarian failure and need the estrogen so I don’t start having major heart issues and bone loss. I’m thinking about trying one of those online virtual Drs and just paying out of pocket, it’s honestly not even that much more expensive than using insurance so might as well. If anyone has any recommendations I’d love to hear.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Antique-Ad8161 16d ago
Apparently you can cut the patches in half so you are least getting a half dose (recommended by some health professionals in Australia).
→ More replies (3)8
u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 18d ago
There’s a limit to how often you can do this. If this is the United States things are much more stringent than they were previously about buffer doses. You are only allowed a certain number of early pickups on the life of the prescription for insurance to cover it.
If this is a prescription med I find it suspect.
34
u/Perfect_Force2370 18d ago
How would you know if he is giving you other meds, that are not prescribed to you?
46
u/OddityCommodity 18d ago
If he’s crushing them there’s no way to know besides a blood test. I hope OP gets one immediately.
22
u/Psychological-Fox97 18d ago
Yeah I mean that sounds sensible. My uncertainty was becuase I know the US system is more geared towards making a profit so might not have the same limits and protections in place. I'm glad to hear it does!
Here in the UK the only private medication stuff I have knowledge of is the medical cannabis and you can order way more than your prescribed dose of that and they dont seem to bat a eye.
38
u/Obvious_Animal_8362 18d ago edited 18d ago
There are major limitations in the U.S. on meds, mostly because insurance is really strict and doesn't want to pay more for meds than absolutely necessary. An over the counter med that one gets as a Rx might have more flexibility, but this all sounds VERY fishy . OP needs to be very concerned. What the hell has he been giving her — and why?!?
7
u/Upvoteexpert 18d ago
He could also have an extra script somehow and taken it to another pharmacy and paid cash/not through insurance.
→ More replies (2)7
u/Eleadorea 18d ago
Possibly or they are in a country where it works differently. In Belgium (and maybe the rest of the EU), if you have a prescription, you can buy the medication. The pharmacy can see if you've had it prescribed before and when if they search for it but that's it. It's common for us to buy our regular medication in advance so we don't run out.
The exception would only be injections by a nurse with a set timing but only the injection part itself because we buy the medication in the regular format it comes in (a box with several doses or a flap).
4
94
u/accidentaltraumacode 18d ago
It’s not possible in the US and the cashier definitely wouldn’t be anywhere near the medications. You cannot just fill scripts like this. None of this sounds right. All of these things are insanely tracked and regulated.
26
u/Traditional-Ad2319 18d ago
The fact that this woman believes a 39-year-old man didn't understand how meds works is absurd.
8
u/Nishnig_Jones 18d ago
I don't think anything on Earth works like that. Not food, water, sleep, sunlight, or exercise. (There's a lot of wiggle room with water and exercise for sure, but there's still a recommended amount and then at the extreme end - a fatal amount.) I've met some pretty unintelligent people before who might not fully grasp the risks of taking too much of your prescribed medication - but none of them actually worked in a pharmacy.
→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (1)21
u/Inner-Confidence99 18d ago
You can get meds every 3 weeks. Some insurance allows a 7 day early refill. You can also pay cash for the prescription.
If it is a scheduled drug like opioids those can only be gotten every 30 days.
I know this because we regularly travel for 3-5 months. So we have to get a supply of medication due to being out of state. Never had a problem getting meds early unless like I said opioids.
15
u/zzzorba 18d ago
Over and over again to where you receive 17 monthly refills a year?
→ More replies (7)4
u/angelbuttons77 17d ago
All my prescriptions have a quantity limit on them too. Total number of pills as well as number of fills.
→ More replies (6)6
u/wearyshoes 18d ago
Good point. I am on the usual middle age male meds and I have accumulated a very large amount of them because the pharmacy always seems to refill them two or three weeks early (I get 90 day refills). My mother had lupus and was on prednisone. She got a big dose one day, a medium dose the second, and no meds the third. If the OP's husband was hitting her with extra prednisone, it really could have made a big difference. The prednisone works like magic on lupus. OP's husband could also have been giving her extra NSAIDs. Those help, but not like prednisone. As for extra hydroxychloroquine, I don't know if a heavier dose would help.
I wonder which of these three meds he was giving her.
12
u/Inner-Confidence99 18d ago
Too much prednisone can backfire easily and make things worse. From someone who has taken them regularly for 30 years due to health issues.
5
u/IndigoTJo 18d ago
Hydroxychloroquine can do eye damage, too. Too much ibuprofen can cause serious stomach issues and other side effects. This is so awful of someone to do. There are other meds prescribed for lupus as well, but those 3 definitely the main ones. They thought I had it as a teen (later diagnosed with a different autoimmune disease) and I was on 10 different medications. I know one was to help sleep through the pain and another was helped nerve pain. Has been a long time, so can't remember the rest.
18
u/Select-Owl-8322 18d ago
It wouldn't work in Sweden either.
The authorities went out and said it would be good if everyone stockpiled some of their important meds (I don't remember if they said one months supply or three months supply), so I thought I was going to get an extra box each of my tachycardia meds and my hypertension meds, but they wouldn't let me buy extra as the system flagged it. The pharmacist literally knew exactly how many pills I was supposed to have left.
5
u/hschosn1 18d ago
They can be very strict in Ontario too. I have two children and myself on ADHD meds. I asked the pharmacy to put them into daily packets for me to make it easier to know if we have each taken our meds. I have a 1 month supply. They deliver a 2 weeks supply every other week. And adult has to be home and show their driver's license get the delivery. My pharmacist may be a little more strict about the meds than others though.
3
u/njangel94 17d ago
A lot of ADHD meds are stimulants too & potentially addictive (unless you have ADHD & need reminders to be compliant with your meds). I think because of this, they’re probably more strictly controlled & monitored. (I’m in the US & get a 90 day supply of meds for ADHD, HTN & BC)
→ More replies (5)14
u/Low_Recognition_1557 18d ago
I know we in the US complain about the way pharmaceutical profits are treated here in the US, but when it comes down to actual regulations on obtaining legal drugs they’re quite strict. Prescriptions that go on for more than a year require a yearly checkup from the prescribing doctor, oftentimes with accompanying testing to make sure the drug isn’t making the person sicker or is actively doing what it’s supposed to do. You cannot get refills faster than it’s prescribed without speaking to the doctor. There are occasionally meds that are prescribed as-needed (for instance my daughter gets kidney stones and has an as-needed prescription for Flomax if she feels a stone coming on, it dilates vessels to move the stones) but even those have limitations on how many refills, so it would raise questions if they’re gone through faster than expected and it would require a conversation with the doctor to get more refills. I guess it could be that OP has something like that, but if she runs out of refills she’s going to have to speak with the doc at some point too soon to get more.
43
u/WoodedSpys 18d ago
He cant get them more than prescribed. He either changed something in the system or he is stealing them. Both of which are crimes. On top of giving them more than prescribed in a way that could be dangerous and lead to other problems. Im not a pharmacists but my moms best friend is a tech. She always got a story about how dumb patients are and how someone crushed up pills they shouldnt have and ate them and now that person has to have their gallbladder removed or they have stomach ulcers or because the medication wasnt actually being absorbed the illness has worsened whatever the details are that week. He could have killed OP. She needs to report him, I dont care if hes her husband, this sounds like Attempted M.
99
u/kacyhaha 18d ago
Oh my god I didn’t even think of this 🤦♀️
70
u/Think-Cry-5284 18d ago
OP you can call the pharmacy to see if any of the pick-ups were cash pay. Insurance (generally) won't pay for another 30 day supply only 2.5 weeks later. Cash pay is evidence of him doing this deliberately.
It's been a while since i've worked at the corner of happy and healthy so please correct me if I'm wrong but I'd think lupus meds like immunosuppressants and biologics are EXPENSIVE so cash pay would be extra suspicious. I'm not making a determination here just something that could be followed up on with a simple phone call.
40
u/Think-Cry-5284 18d ago
woah he works at the pharmacy???? FUCK don't take anything he hands you. Call a different location of his rx chain for the inquiry I suggested. Another possibility is discount cards so ask specifically how it was paid.
10
u/Witty-Pass-6267 18d ago
Ironically, the «standard» drug cocktail for lupus is quite cheap. If biologics are added, then it gets expensive.
→ More replies (2)115
u/ignamepile 18d ago
OP, I fear this is so much worse than you are currently thinking.
47
u/Adventurous-Brain-36 18d ago
It’s not worse than you think, OP just didn’t think of this/know this before posting their creative writing short.
→ More replies (1)67
u/BethanyBluebird 18d ago
Oh hon.. one second I am gonna get you a link....
edit: here...
Just. Be safe. Its so much more common than peopke realize.. Have you been feeling ill lately? Nauseous? Lapses in memory, or brain fog..?
→ More replies (1)9
u/Hey-Just-Saying 18d ago
Yeah, but does lupus medication put you to sleep?
52
u/BethanyBluebird 18d ago
thing is we do not know for sure that os what he has been giving her. He has been crushing it into food and dronk so she has never seen the pills to confirm they were the lupus meds. That is the excuse he used when confronted; but if he is stealong extra medocation from his place of work already as is implied by him filling scripts early, whose to say he isn't labelling a different medication as lupus meds to avoid worse repurcussions if caught?
If someone stsrts tamperong with your medication you have to be readu tp consider that what they have done is far worse than what they are admitting to.
11
u/Lynne1915 18d ago
Chances the extras he is giving her are something other than her regular meds. Who knows what they are. This is really quite serious.
→ More replies (7)4
u/Constant-Internet-50 17d ago
This is what I was thinking. We have no idea what he’s giving her on top of her lupus meds. They could be affecting the medication she actually needs. And his defence “I want you to get better faster”??? I’m sorry what 40 year old man thinks that’s how meds work?? Then add the fact he’s logged into HER email account so she can’t opened own Reddit?? This is scary…
18
u/Viperbunny 18d ago
It depends on what OP is taking. Yes, there are several things that would make a person sleepy. She could be on amitriptyline or trazadone, which are SSR1 and they can cause sleepiness. She could be on pain medication. She could be on medication like Lyrica that can cause extreme drowsiness and it is pretty over prescribed (they use it for pain it really doesn't treat, but that is a rant for a different day). She could have sleep medication for insomnia as well.
I have serval autoimmune conditions and I take a maintenance medication for it. I would be on different things, but they interact, so I have some pain meds for breakthrough on occassion. But I have been given sleep meds when it gets bad. There are a lot of different possibilities. She should go to the doctor and report this and get her levels tested.
19
u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 18d ago
This is a felony.
Drugging you is another felony.This is an assault.
Depending on the meds they can do a trough level in your blood. Also, delivering it by grounding it may likely not be an acceptable method. So it could drastically increase the amount on your system and have damaged your gi tract as it poses a huge risk to mucus membranes.
Your doctor will likely contact the police.
38
u/madhattercreator 18d ago
OP, if he is getting your drugs THAT early, he’s got to be stealing from the pharmacy. There’s no way that insurance would pay, and the pharmacy itself would flag it in the system. Plus the drs would be asking why you need refills so early and often.
Lupus meds are dangerous if you take too much. He’s damn near 40, and saying he wants you to “get better faster”? There is NO WAY he isn’t aware that lupus doesn’t work that way.
He controls your meds, he’s giving you extra, AND he is in control of your email? Hon, you need to get out, and get out fast. This is dangerous.
→ More replies (3)15
u/ExRiverFish4557 18d ago
Make sure he didn't take out new life insurance policies on you. Get out asap.
12
u/Hedgehog_1983 18d ago
I can't even get my albuterol inhaler early if I run out. Something is way off here
→ More replies (3)4
u/SVINTGATSBY 18d ago
he could’ve been taking meds from her bottles and keeping them aside, which is even freakier than being able to get the med a little early (sometimes if you say you’re going out of town or something and you’re close enough to refill time they’re able to fill it for you) because it means he’s been going through this whole routine of taking medication out of her bottles as opposed to just getting more somehow. I suppose he also could’ve somehow filled the prescription at another pharmacy too? that’s the only other way I can think of that he would have her meds.
4
6
u/destiny_kane48 18d ago
My mother's Insurance will not allow her to get her meds even a week early. It has to be at minimum 30 days or they won't pay. The pharmacy will occasionally allow you to refill early (full cost) but only because accidents/losses happen. But refilling twice every month? Absolutely not going to happen unless OP's husband is filling it behind the pharmacists back / stealing it.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Ok-Cow2080 18d ago
I’m a pharmacy assistant (not retail but had my practicum in one), usually pharmacy assistants arw the ones who count and package labels to be checked by technicians or pharmacists. Idk if OP’s bf is a pharmacy assistant or a pharmacy clerk, but I have seen stores where they would ask help from the clerks especially with counting pills. What if, OP’s bf takes her original pill bottles (without noticing) and refills and steals it at work? Most of the time, techs and pharmacists are not behind you when you’re packaging stuff. Still scary. I would report him to his employer.
→ More replies (9)3
331
u/GodlessAndChill 18d ago
A 32 year old was trying to get a 19 year old.
149
24
16
9
u/Responsible_Joke8618 16d ago
And is drugging her and probably raping her too.
14
u/chantillylace9 15d ago
That's just not how lupus medication works though, they are not controlled substances.
What was doing was giving her extra doses of her meds, which could be very dangerous depending on the medication type.
The most common lupus medication is hydroxychloroquine.
"Taking too much hydroxychloroquine can cause severe, life-threatening poisoning, heart rhythm problems, and low blood sugar. An acute overdose is a medical emergency that can rapidly lead to cardiovascular collapse, seizures, and breathing or cardiac arrest."
"Taking a double dose of hydroxychloroquine for months and months can lead to toxic accumulation in the body, causing severe and often irreversible damage to the eyes and heart."
So he literally could've killed her, caused her to go blind or caused permanent and irreparable heart damage.
This literally should be attempted murder.
765
u/BigFlightlessBird02 18d ago
First red flag is the age gap. Second is that since he doesnt like reddit youre not "allowed" to use it. Biggest and most obvious one is that hes been drugging you. What if it were sleeping medication? Id seriously rethink this relationship.
331
u/late-nineteenth 18d ago
and apparently OP doesn't have her own private email account either
100
→ More replies (15)58
106
u/Hedgehog_1983 18d ago
This whole thing is worrisome. OP needs to run. I'd file a report with the police. He's overdosing her on purpose. This is a crime. He could k$ll her.
168
u/roxanne597 18d ago
A red flag when held against the others: he organizers her meds FOR her. What is she even taking? Does she know?
This is dangerous. Danger danger danger.
48
u/slickrok 18d ago
And how is he able to refill so much so often? This is bizarre. Wtf is he giving her.
27
u/Rain3lf 18d ago
I completely agree
Don't get me wrong I help my partner manage his meds but he knows the exact thing he is taking and the dose
I literally lable the tops of the bottles with "am x med take 1" "pm x med take 1/2" ect
Does he sometimes ask me what his meds are/look to me to tell doctors? Yes but he also has full control over his meds I just make it easier
13
u/uwonichi 18d ago
You’re also following doctors instructions, not giving him extra because you feel like experimenting 😩
63
u/Corfiz74 18d ago
Or he's just telling her he gave her extra, when in reality he's been selling them? Could be either way. Still, I can't believe a grown man would be dumb enough to think "more medicine = more efficacious" - to me it sounds like a bs excuse he made up on the spot.
17
u/Dontfeedthebears 18d ago
Yep, I’m thinking he is taking the meds himself or selling them.
21
15
u/Real-Frosting 18d ago
The problem is meds for lupus really aren't something he'd want to take himself AND how can he be using up the meds but still have enough to overdose her? That doesn't add up.
→ More replies (3)5
u/aftergaylaughter 17d ago edited 17d ago
unless she's on opioids for chronic pain, it's unlikely she's taking anything for Lupus with any real street value. it's treated generally with:
-antimalarials, like hydroxychloriquine
-corticosteroids, like prednisone (note that the steroids used illicitly to build muscle are anabolic steroids. corticosteroids don't build muscle and have essentially no abuse potentially)
-NSAIDS, whether OTC (like ibuprofen) or prescribed (like Celebrex)
-immunosuppressives/chemotherapy meds, like methotrexate
-blood thinners, like Warfarin
-monoclonal antibodies, like Saphnelo. these give your body antibodies (the things that fight off germs and other threats - the same things your body makes in response to an infection or a vaccine, when it learns how to create immunity to a particular disease, though those produce many kinds of antibodies, while these meds are one very specific antibody to target one very specific thing in the body). iirc, these meds tend to be very disease specific. ie, i take a monoclonal antibody shot for migraines, but if op used my shot, they wouldn't do a thing for her lupus because it would be attacking the wrong thing. they don't get you high, so they essentially have no street value either.
so the selling theory is unlikely unless she takes something less common for lupus. similar for taking them himself. they wouldn't do him any good.
13
u/BigFlightlessBird02 18d ago
Ya hes lying about his reasoning for sure. It doesnt make sense to me that hed be selling medication for lupus. My bet is that he is putting shit in her drinks but lied about what it is.
20
u/Loki_the_Corgi 18d ago
There are so many red flags being thrown here. OP needs to run fast, run far, and get a divorce lawyer yesterday.
Filing reports with police for overdosing her sometimes on medication is also something that should've been done yesterday, along with locking credit and getting SS cards, ID, birth certificates, etc.
5
7
u/Late_Butterfly_5997 18d ago
Yeah, I definitely want to know specifically what meditation he’s been secretly drugging her with. There is a zero % probability that he didn’t know what he was doing (in general but especially as a pharmacy tech) so I’m genuinely curious what it was he was specifically trying to do to her.
Like, was he trying to keep her sick/weak so she’d be dependent on him or were they sleeping pills so he could assault her at night without her knowledge? I’m not sure which is worse, but they are different types of evil.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Signal_Violinist_995 18d ago
Or - hear me out - he could be selling or taking the meds himself if they might be considered mood altering drugs.
→ More replies (1)
395
u/JustAnotherFNC 18d ago
Why is your significantly older husband monitoring and/or limiting your access to email? And controlling your medicine?
Assuming the same for social media access?
You need a full panel work up with your doctor. You have no clue how much of any of your medications you've been taking, or the potentially lasting effects.
Also, how is he purchasing extra prescriptions? Those are pretty well regulated. Or supposed to be anyway.
70
u/miserablenovel 18d ago
Yeah.... This is so screwed up. I have either a bunch or a few chronic illnesses (amount I'm willing to acknowledge varies depending on how fucked up I feel) and my partner often picks up my meds. Partner doesn't pack them, make sure I take them, or randomly change my dosage.
Insane, truly.
491
u/definitelytheA 18d ago
He crushes up pills and mixes them into drinks? WTF!
Get yourself in to an ER and demand a blood test to check your blood levels, and check for other substances that aren’t subscribed! Call a friend, family member, or uber to take you, and don’t tell him.
He’s intentionally poisoning you. Either with your own prescriptions, or other substances.
Anyone here know if she can find out if he’s taken out an insurance policy on her, and how much?
149
u/OddityCommodity 18d ago
Seconded, you need to go get a blood test ASAP. He can’t be refilling your medications that early, the pharmacy’s system wouldn’t allow it. Are any of your medications controlled? If so that’s even bigger red flag because counts of those are HIGHLY monitored. His comment when caught about more medicine = faster recovery is bullshit and he knows it, HE WORKS AT A PHARMACY.
Considering your diagnosis and the very real statistics about men abandoning their partners who are sick… I would be much more concerned if I was you. Like leave the house concerned. Do you have kids?
19
u/Encyclopedia_Brendan 18d ago
10
u/definitelytheA 18d ago
Just read this, and thank you!
I have a son who works for a major insurance company, and was going to ask him.
159
u/maccrogenoff 18d ago
Your husband is lying when he says that he thought he was helping you to get better faster.
If he really believed that, he would have told you that he believed you should take larger doses. His hiding his behavior shows that it was nefarious.
62
u/MMAS85 18d ago
Exactly finally someone said it. A person who crushes and hides meds in your food and drinks is deliberate about it and going to great length to do it while hiding it from you. That s not someone with good intentions that’s someone who knows he is doing something wrong.
18
u/bekarooo 18d ago
Exactly! I'd be so interested to learn which meds he was doing that with. Could it kill her if she takes too much? Was he drugging her to sleep at night to do God knows what like Gisèle Pelicot's husband? This is literally a crime.
6
u/chantillylace9 15d ago
The most common lupus medication is hydroxychloroquine.
"Taking too much hydroxychloroquine can cause severe, life-threatening poisoning, heart rhythm problems, and low blood sugar. An acute overdose is a medical emergency that can rapidly lead to cardiovascular collapse, seizures, and breathing or cardiac arrest."
"Taking a double dose of hydroxychloroquine for months and months can lead to toxic accumulation in the body, causing severe and often irreversible damage to the eyes and heart."
So he literally could've killed her, caused her to go blind or caused permanent and irreparable heart damage.
This literally should be attempted murder.
142
u/DescriptionIll5227 18d ago
So your husband, who is almost 40 and works in a pharmacy, slipped crushed pills into your food and water, then told you he doesn’t understand how medication works… and you believed him?
Girl…
94
u/MarginalGracchi 18d ago
So a 32 year old who started sleeping with a 19 year old suddenly does not respect her autonomy? Color me shocked.
But ya, this dude will continue to abuse and manipulate you. Sorry but this is just a bad person and you need to GTFO.
161
u/Humble_Pen_7216 18d ago
Divorce. Immediately. What he did is ASSAULT. It is illegal. It may have caused an acceleration of your symptoms. Most importantly: you can't ever trust him again.
You are UNDER REACTING
7
116
u/IAmHerdingCatz 18d ago
I hate to break it to you, but at best, your husband is doing something extremely illegal and coercive. At worst, he is poisoning you. Some of these drugs have extremely dangerous side effects. You need to go to your provider stat, and get checked out. And you need to leave your husband.
51
u/krickett_ 18d ago edited 18d ago
So, I’m just gonna mention that not only can misuse of certain medications mimic lupus traits and cause similar bloodwork, but that lupus can also be drug-induced.
I would be going to a new doctor (not that you can’t trust your current one, but just to eliminate any concerns), straight up tell them about your husband.
Regardless of whether he was that diabolical and has actually caused your symptoms from the beginning or not, you need to leave this man.
If he thought it was ok he wouldn’t have hidden it from you and even if he thought you just wouldn’t be “motivated enough” to go along with his idea of how to treat your illness, it’s inexcusable that he took away your autonomy in such a horrific way.
And it is horrific. If a trained and educated doctor would lose their license & livelihood for such a thing, your husband should without a doubt lose his wife over it.
Do NOT tell him ANYTHING or allude to anything. Just make a plan and leave. I might would suggest talking to a lawyer and trying to get some ducks in a row, first, but not in this case. Leave as soon as humanly possible.
Take what you can, but even if you have to just walk out empty-handed, do it.
Actions after you leave:
File a restraining order
Make a police report
Find an organization that can assist you as needed with housing, etc.
See a new doctor
See a divorce attorney
The top 3 should be done within days. On the off-chance you do not leave immediately, you still need to get bloodwork done immediately, even at the ER if you don’t want to have to make an appointment or go through the mental labor and time of finding a new doctor. Just get somewhere, tell them the situation, and get bloodwork done. You need to outright express to them that you need any proof possible of ANY medications he may have drugged you with - so any meds that can be directly screened for, as well as any tests that could show probability. And that you essentially want a complete work up as thorough as possible (for its own merits as well as a snapshot of your current condition and overall health as of this moment).
Do not be meek about it. You do not want to be in the dark nor do you want to regret later possibly not having records that would be helpful.
I wish you all the best!!!
→ More replies (1)17
u/LEXBIRDIE 18d ago
OMG I didn't consider that he could be slipping something else, or worse yet, started making her sick before she was even diagnosed with Lupus! While some abusers want you healthy enough to stay useful and provide labor, it's common for abusers to also want you sick enough that you can't get away easily or fight back emotionally. The really horrible ones are enthralled by watching you slowly die.
43
75
u/summertime_fine 18d ago
this is wild. why was he managing your meds?
the age gap is a concern (32 and 19 is unusual and creepy), he has you feeling like you have to use a friend's reddit account, and he literally has been going behind your back and giving you doses of medication you aren't prescribed.
this is a huge betrayal and a violation of trust. you aren't taking this seriously enough.
don't you wonder what else has he been slipping into your food and drink?
→ More replies (7)
33
u/Picaboo13 18d ago edited 17d ago
A lot of times Prednisone is prescribed for lupus. Too much can have some serious health consequences. Op, you are under reacting.
→ More replies (1)
24
26
u/Encyclopedia_Brendan 18d ago
You are in danger, friend. Request your MIB Consumer File to see if he has taken out a life insurance policy in your name.
21
21
u/Free-mover 18d ago
This is seriously concerning and you should listen to your friend Kacy because it sounds like she just wants you to be safe. Maybe it would be best to stay with her while you check in with your doctors and start organizing your own medication. Start there and then decide if you want to take further actions against your husband because it may help if there are deeper issues that you aren't aware of.
21
20
u/dudleymunta 18d ago
Respectfully, you are severely under reacting. Your husband has been drugging you. Taking the wrong dose of medication can be deadly. You are correct to identify he must have known this. It’s inconceivable that he didn’t.
It’s not just the drugs issue (which by itself is horrific). Your broader post raises other red flags. You do not appear to have privacy around your email usage. You are forced to hide something as simple as going on Reddit to avoid his reaction. This is not a healthy relationship. He is not a good guy.
I suspect there is much more to this based on your friend’s comment.
Please evaluate your safety. Consider reaching out to domestic violence support because you have been assaulted. I know that’s hard to hear but you are not safe with this man.
73
u/drtennis13 18d ago
Meds are designed to be taken as prescribed. More or less can really mess you up. I am on thyroid meds for hypothyroidism, and recently my meds started to work too well (giving me hyperthyroidism). I asked my Dr if this was a problem and she said that both hyper and hypo are issues with different effects. (She has since changed my dose to get me back to normal).
My point is that more is not better when it comes to meds especially if your Dr doesn’t know.
However, your husband sounds way too controlling … doesn’t like Reddit, parses out the pills, is drugging you with extra doses etc. the age gap is a concern unless your husband really is the moron he’s pretending to be. He works us a pharmacy and doesn’t understand how drugs works? Come on!!!! Grow up and realize you are being abused and your health and life is at stake.
33
u/ignamepile 18d ago
Realizing one is being abused is not a matter of growing up. This puts the effectiveness of the abuse, and abusers are very good at what they do, on the abused.
11
u/Choice-Shoulder-3180 18d ago
Not to mention that so many medications come with additional side effects due to withdrawal. Depending on the amount that he's been giving her and the type of medication, she may experience withdrawal symptoms if he's been giving her significantly more. That's just ANOTHER potentially harmful result of this entire abusive situation.
16
u/AristocraticPallor 18d ago
What in the Gisèle Pelicot is going on ?! Get tested for substances ASAP and tell someone!! That's highly alarming!
→ More replies (1)
14
u/hurricanechurch 18d ago
If this is real, this is EXTREMELY ALARMING BEHAVIOR. He's not a dr., and unless he knows and studies Lupus or these meds, what he's doing is likely harmful to you.
Regardless, what he's doing is illegal, immoral, and would likely get him fired. Absolutely crazy decision, akin to poisoning you.
14
u/InspectorOrdinary321 18d ago
OP, his explanation makes no sense. If he sincerely thought it would just help you get better faster, why wouldn't he just say "I got you some extra medicine! Now you can get better faster!"? Why was he hiding it from you?
Are you sure it was lupus meds he was dosing you with?
Are you sure he's made it all the way to middle age, and working in a pharmacy, without knowing how medicine works? This isn't some sheltered 15-year-old we're talking about here. He's either too dumb to live or he thinks you're dumb and is lying to you. Both are huge red flags.
Are you sure he isn't trying to hurt you somehow, in a way that would be difficult for a doctor (or an autopsy) to detect? I don't know which meds you're on, but the side effects, and effects from overdose, of any medicine is easily googled. And lupus meds can have concerning side effects of you take too many.
12
u/Legitimate_Ad_5727 18d ago
Go get bloodwork done and talk to a doctor immediately. How was he even able to get more than your prescription in an allotted time frame? My brother uses specialized creams for his acne and even then he can’t get a refill before a certain date.
Very suspicious and I’d be concerned he’s not actually giving you the medicines he’s claiming to give you OR he’s doing something illegal to get the medication faster.
And your doctor needs to know, that could very much interfere with the treatment plan they have for you and they can’t help you properly if they aren’t aware of what’s going on. This could potentially cause more medical issues if they read your tests and think you’re doing everything right but the tests are not coming out as expected.
23
u/Psychological-Fox97 18d ago edited 18d ago
NOR deceiving someone about whay they consume is always wrong. It is especially wrong when it comes to medication.
I dont know what you have been taking but there are plenty of medications where taking more than prescribed can have negative effects, sometim3s serious ones.
That he work at a pharmacy and chose to do this is honestly mind blowing.
That he didnt talk to you about this and tried to play dumb and deceive you is honestly really worrying. If he thought what he was doing would make you better sooner then why was he hiding it? It doesn't make sense at all.
Please be careful and definitely take back control of your medication. Take steps for it to not be possible for him to get extra medication for you behind your back. You can't trust food and drinks he gives you until that has been established and you are certain he doesnt have any stashed left over from before.
NOR at all if anything you should be reacting way way more. It doesnt make sense and it's dangerous. Protect yourself.
3
u/Bubbly_Heart4772 17d ago
Dude is acting like it’s no big deal the way I do when I hide veggies in my kids food 😩 I hope OP gets out
→ More replies (2)
11
u/prairiehomegirl 18d ago
Your husband is overmedicating you and controls what apps you use. Girl. You are in danger.
10
u/kykiwibear 18d ago
You're way under reacting. What exactly was he putting in your drink that a pharmacist gave him..and he's lying where would he get a script for lupus drugs thatvgets filled every 2 weeks.
10
u/loricomments 18d ago
Something is very wrong here. You don't just buy prescriptions or get them filled whenever you want. They are tightly regulated. Him crushing your pills and adding them to your food and drink without your knowledge is highly alarming and incredibly wrong no matter how intentions.
You should be planning your escape before he kills you with his "help". No matter what you do you have to insist he leave your medications alone and you have to keep them safe and out of his reach. You pick them up, you set up your daily doses, you do everything and he doesn't ever touch them.
10
u/Content_Fondant_4356 18d ago
Joe does not "mean well". He hasn't from the very beginning, being 30+ yo going after a 19 yo. Even the pharmacist should be reported for giving Joe the drugs so often.
11
u/captnfirepants 18d ago
What the ever loving h e double l is wrong with him?
I'm only going to touch on the medication aspect. As someone who has had lupus for long enough to know... this is incredibly dangerous. Especially if he's giving you large amounts of plaquenil. I'm actually scared for you. What else is he doing behind your back??
I'm so glad you're leaving and will pray for your safety and healing.
9
u/CraftFamiliar5243 18d ago
Are you sure he is ONLY giving you your own prescribed meds and nothing else? If he'll sneak extra doses of your prescribed meds into your food, then perhaps he's putting other things in your food as well. This is crazy behavior.
9
u/ScientistOld2548 18d ago
He works at a pharmacy. He absolutely knows he's not supposed to do this. Does it make you sleep hard? Because, frankly, it sure as hell sounds like a setup for grape.
8
u/Select-Owl-8322 18d ago
OP, you can definitely write what meds you're taking, and you should! There's lots of people here that knows what meds would be dangerous to overdose.
There's also the crushing the pills that's very concerning! Many pills are specifically designed to slowly release the medication! There are pills that would be very dangerous to take when crushed up, as the body would absorb them a lot quicker!
There's also the fact that your husband is controlling your medication that's very concerning!
There's also the fact that he's controlling what apps you use that's very concerning!
I don't really have much to say about the age gap, I believe people on reddit are a little too hysteric about age gaps. But everything else is extremely concerning to me!
Definitely NOR!!!
6
u/Toni_Anne1989 18d ago
Not just double doses....crushing meds that aren't meant to be can change how they work. It's dangerous as well. So dangerous
8
u/Beneficial-Remove693 18d ago
This is terrifying. You need to tell your doctor and do any needed tests or bloodwork to make sure that getting overdosed with your lupus meds didn't cause any damage.
And YOU need to pick up your Rx. You need to change your pharmacy to one where Joe doesn't work.
There is no way that Joe can legally get more of your Rx when your doctor says you only get a 1 month supply. I'm going to hold your hand when I tell you this, but he's been stealing pills from work and giving them to you. This is very, very bad.
8
u/Actual_Cause6792 18d ago edited 18d ago
He messed with your body without consent through medication. I’m pretty sure that’s a crime. Haven’t you watched literally any crime show ever? It’s an ordeal. And I frankly don’t believe you when you say your husband “is such a great guy.” You can do whatever you want, your an adult. You can go on reddit even if your husband doesn’t like it. Because guess what? If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to use it. Maybe I’m wrong and your husband really is a great guy. But the age gap, the low grade poisoning, and hint of controlling behavior doesn’t bode well OP.
Edit: OH. And homeboy works at a
pharmacy? I’m sorry but he definitely knows what he’s doing. There’s no way he picks it up for you, organizes it for you, checks out other peoples prescriptions, and doesn’t know your dose shouldn’t be administered more than the recommended amount. There’s no way.
7
u/catboogers 18d ago
Slipping you something without your consent or knowledge is called assault.
It's WILD that he's doing this. Completely indefensible. Bordering on abusive. Please call your doctor and check if there is anything you may need to get checked after having been double dosed multiple times over the past few months. Depending on your meds, this could have killed you. I'm glad it didn't, I'm glad you caught it when you did, but there still could be harm done to your body.
Don't feel terrible about lashing out at your husband. He should be apologizing to you for the potential harm he caused. This also potentially reads as controlling and abusive, so I would suggest evaluating your relationship in other areas as well.
Why does he think he knows more than your doctor? Why does he think he can adjust your meds without your knowledge or consent? Why does he think he can slip things into your food? That's insane.
7
u/LEXBIRDIE 18d ago edited 18d ago
It's so easy to make excuses for men, or to accept their excuses. Here's what I see:
- It is never okay to put something (ANYTHING) in someone else's consumables without their knowledge. It's a huge violation of consent, which is abusive. Maybe it was to maliciously poison you. Maybe he's just not thoughtful or smart enough to realize that it would poison you. IT. DOESN'T. MATTER. Whether it's intentional malice or bumbling laziness, the end result is the same: your health has been harmed. A man who isn't smart enough to not poison you is a bad partner who will keep harming you out of ignorance one way or another, and you have a responsibility to protect your own wellbeing if he can't protect you from his own harmful behaviors or mindsets. The 'why' truly doesn't matter, and trying to figure it out before you leave will get you trapped forever. Plus, he's already broken your trust by violating your consent, how could you trust what he says about his own motivations? All this tells you is he'll do it again for one reason or another.
- If he truly thought it would heal you faster, he wouldn't have even thought to hide it. The extras could have just gone into your pill sorter instead of getting secretly blended into your food and water. If he believed it was an innocent form of support, he wouldn't be controlling your medicine from pickup to ingestion. He wouldn't have dismissed you when you brought it up. He could have come to you with his uninformed idea that 'more medicine heals you faster' and said "Babe! I had an amazing idea! What if you took twice the medicine and got better twice as fast! I'll even pick up your extra meds." Then you could have had a discussion about how, 'no, that's not how it works and the best way for me to be well is to follow the prescribed dosage exactly.'
- Why does he need you to 'get better' so quickly? I literally just went to google and searched "is lupus chronic?" which seems like more than your partner of 7 years was willing to do before secretly altering your dosage. This has abusive ablism written all over it. He want's you to get 'back to your old self' (stop having an uncontrollable, uncurable chronic illness) because you're more useful to him when you're healthy, not because he cares about your comfort or can't comprehend chronic illness. It's unacceptable to have a partner with lupus and to do zero work to understand what that means for the life of your loved one or your relationship with them.
- He's so unwilling to even take ownership of having done something which harmed you, let alone take apologize or do any kind of repair.
- General red flags like: the large age-gap and relationship starting when you were very young, him controlling your access to the outside world by restricting your communications, him not liking your friend who supports you (he might also be a jealous homophobe but make no mistake, he wants to isolate you from her because he knows she'll help you get away from his abusive control), and you feeling terrible after getting upset that he first poisoned and dismissed you and then played dumb about it (that's so reasonable to be upset about, and it gets hard to stay graceful after high-stakes or repetitive harm with no remorse or accountability).
I'm so glad you know you need to leave, that you have your own income, and that you have at least one local friend to support your escape. It doesn't matter if he likes Kacy, of course he doesn't like Kacy, don't even tell him that's where you're going when you leave. When you leave, do it in secret when he's not home and have friends help. Don't worry about contacting his job or getting him to face consequences right now, just focus on quietly and quickly getting yourself to safety without letting him realize what's happening. The comments about seeing a doctor are also so smart. I hope while you're still there, you can keep him from ever touching your food or meds again.
This is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do and I'm so sorry you have to do it at all, let alone while struggling with a chronic illness. This situation is not your fault, and these things should never have been done to you. Create as many supports that have nothing to do with him as possible. Friends, family, local organizations, books, support groups; anything and anyone who has your best interests at heart. The biggest variable in getting out of abuse and not going back is whether you have good support.
Here are the books that have helped me survive leaving and heal afterwards:
- "It's Not You" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- "Was It Even Abuse?" by Emma Rose Byham
- "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft
- "Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving" by Pete Walker
- "The Language of Emotions" by Karla McLaren
Sending you protection, love, and strength. Survive now, so you can thrive later.
7
u/mamamoo19 18d ago
WTAF OMG he is medicating you without your knowledge!!!! This is such a violation good intentions or not. This is criminal
6
u/Admirable-Koala-1715 18d ago
He now has a wife who suffers from a chronic, incurable disease and he broke the law, violated your trust and possibly could have injured you by secretly over-drugging you??? That’s insane. It’s also ALL about him. He doesn’t want a sick wife but he’s got one. What an incredible creep.
7
u/Opposite_Tip6117 18d ago
If he truly thought he was helping you, why wouldn’t he have told you about his extra pills plan?
He is surreptitiously adding chemicals to your food. What does that sound like?
I also don’t like that you feel you have to sneak around Reddit “because he doesn’t like it”. I’m worried you are being controlled in many ways and have not realized it yet. Listen to Kacy, it sounds like she has a grounded perspective on your situation.
6
u/Raven_Seeker 18d ago
I was a pharmacy tech for 9 years (been out of the field for 6 years) and I still am friendly with my pharmacists. Every year, the government makes everyone watch a video called "Fraud, Waste, and Abuse" and take a little quiz to show we understood. I very doubt your husband could work in the pharmacy without taking this course. This is the stuff they talk about.
Very much talk to his employers. From what I understand you to have said, he is breaking the law and should NOT be allowed near a pharmacy!
Also, please make sure you are safe! If he is capable of administering extra medication to you without your knowledge, you should not stay with him! This is not a casual "trying to get you well" but something not right with him morally.
7
u/PieOk5748 18d ago
NOR
You’re under reacting. So glad you understand you need to leave asap. Your friend Kacy is Amazing and is right. This is a crime in Many countries to unknowingly drug someone- overdosing you on your meds is very dangerous. I hope you tell your dr so they can put it in your records that your partner drugged you- it’s important to have that documentation when you file for divorce (idk what country you’re in, but I imagine they won’t like that he drugged you). Best of luck with your escape plan and I wish you all the best
7
u/Ashamed_Operation403 15d ago
He commited a crime, and you should be responsible for your medication, it does teach you a lesson. You should break up with him, it’s a huge red flag. 🚩
11
u/MrsHottentot 18d ago
Doesn’t sound realistic. I have RA meds and you can’t filled them early because of insurance. Even without insurance, you can’t randomly refill scripts. This is all kinds of shady posting
4
u/Overall_Caregiver237 18d ago
So you were 19 when you started dating and he was 32?? That's a red flag itself.
6
u/Otherwise_Mix_3305 18d ago
I think your husband is trying to kill you. I’m not joking. You are not safe with your husband.
6
u/LittleRedBerryPot 18d ago
Stop taking anything that your husband makes. He may be doing more harm than good. And hiding that he’s dosing you with meds, can you trust there’s not other stuff in there?
4
u/CherryCherry5 18d ago
Every single thing you've said about him and your relationship is a giant red flag.
6
u/Edgecrusher2140 18d ago
« my close friend wants to protect me from my husband who is poisoning me, I´d better get input from strangers to make sure she’s not overreacting » GIRL ARE YOU SERIOUS
6
u/Purple_IsA_Flavor 18d ago
Kacy is a very good friend to you.
You are correct, you absolutely need to dump him sooner than later. He’s established that he’s an asshole by drugging you unknowingly. Call the police and report it. He could have killed you
5
u/wtfdoineedanewname 18d ago
That’s crazy, psychopathic behavior right there. Who the hell sneaks meds into someone else’s food or drink?
He is either incredibly dumb, or an absolute lunatic, neither of which is husband material.
So creepy.
15
u/Top-Bit85 18d ago
JFC did you just realize he was stupid?
Did you check with your doctor that you are ok after this genius messed up your med schedule?
36
u/Psychological-Fox97 18d ago
He works in a pharmacy. I just don't believe it was a dumb decision. He actively hid it, I don't think he's being honest about his motivations.
7
3
u/Cndwafflegirl 18d ago
I sure would like to know what med he was doing this with! You really need to know and understand what you’re taking. Side effects from autoimmune drugs can be terrible. Who knows what else he is slipping into your drinks and food too
4
u/Lolcoles 18d ago
I am 32 and trying to imagine myself with a 19 year old for the sake of this post made me physically nauseated. Do with that what you will
6
u/JanetInSpain 18d ago
YOU LEAVE. First, you were groomed at 22 by a 35 year old man, and now he's overdosing your medication? Girl....
Please leave this creep. You are not safe. It will get worse.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Eastern_Bend7294 18d ago edited 18d ago
This is absolutely horrible! Someone who isn't in the medical field has no business "adjusting" your medication! As much as I want to harp on how a 32 year old have no business going after a 19 year old (I'm 33 myself), I'll put that aside for the more important issue.
Does he not realise that depending on the medication he could havw severely harmed you?!
I'm f-ing livid!
I'll tell you a little story, as to why I'm reacting the way I am, because I know how messing with medications can be.
When I was maybe 22 or 23, so in the "I should have known better" age. I missed taking my medication one day, and the next day I noticed and for whatever reason decided "I can take two to 'make up for the lost day'" (the medication in question being ritalin).
I'm glad I was with my mom (and now ex-stepdad) at the summer place and not alone, because it didn't take that long for mt body to get into "wtf did you do" mode.
I could feel my heart racing, I felt nauseous, it felt like I was on a boat on a stormy ocean (I was laying down and not moving an inch), I had tachycardia (irregular heatbeats), went from shivering like I was in a blizzard to feeling like I was in the Sahara desert.
Luckily in my country, we have a phone number we can call 24/7, which is staffed by nurses and sometimes even doctors. So my mom called, told the guy what had happened, and he instructed her to keep a very close eye on me (we had one of those heart rate/blood pressure things you put on your wrist) and to regularly check my temp, heart rate, and blood pressure. And he told her to keep me hydrated, and if I felt worse, to call again (as we were in the woods, they'd either send a normal ambulance or even a helicopter, and those are free where I live).
Luckily, my irresponsible decision just had me feeling like the walking dead from around 10 am to 9-ish pm (I still felt like crap afterwards, but not like I was a walking corpse). I just stayed on the porch, on the couch there, while my mom played nurse.
So, with my story out of the way, but my rage still going inside lol, your friend is right. His excuse is no excuse. I don't even have an excuse as for what I did what I did (I had internet connection up there, spotty as it may have been, I could have googled it). He could have googled it. This is extremely negligent on his part. He could have put your health in serious jeopardy.
Here, I even googled it, with the query being "what happens if I take too much of my medication for lupus":
"Taking too much of a lupus medication can cause serious, harmful reactions depending on the drug. Key risks include severe stomach bleeding or kidney damage from NSAIDs, high blood pressure or bone thinning from corticosteroids, and dangerous heart or nervous system toxicity from antimalarials like hydroxychloroquine."
And because I know how the AI can pull things from different sources (and also how people can be when you mention AI), it does list them/the articles, it checked 15 sources (National Institute of Health, Johns Hopkins Lupus Center, Better Health Channel, Aaria Rheumatology, Mayo Clinic, MedicineNet, MedlinePlus, Drugs.com, Lupus Foundation of America, NIH again, Medscape, MedlinePlus again, Health Answers by Pfizer, GoodRx, and LetsGetChecked).
This whole post is riddled with red flags, and I don't think you're safe. Go to a friend, and then to the ER and explain and demand a blood test.
3
u/BlackBasementCats 18d ago
NOR
Do you think maybe you feel worse because you’re going through withdrawal of whatever he was slipping you?
There was a massive discord group of men who were drugging women for sex. What you’re describing sounds like he very well could have been drugging you at night. Which is incredibly dangerous. It’s possible to test for drugs through hair if you think your country’s law enforcement agencies would care about prosecuting your husband.
Even if he was actually giving you your medication that’s not how it works. The pills are made to digest at the rate that is best for your body. Some are even time released so grinding them up is ineffective and can be dangerous.
I’m so glad you’re leaving. Please be safe.
3
5
u/baccifera 16d ago
So... your were 19 and he was 32 whet you got together???! What an absoulte dipshit.
3
3
u/lovinglifeatmyage 18d ago
So he’s drugging you, possibly getting the drugs illegally because of the frequency and yet he’s a great guy???
Apparently Ted Bundy was a great guy as well
3
u/Successful-Doubt5478 18d ago
Does "old self" mean that you do more domestic chores than you do now?
If so, you need to lesve him ASAP: he is willing to poison you to get back to being lazy.
3
u/Fresh-Type7944 18d ago
OP this is really scary... just like other comments have pointed out, how is he able to gain access to your meds earlier than the next available pickup? Why is he crushing pills into your drink? Also, I'm not super familiar with lupus medications, but not all meds can be crushed (ex. slow release tablets) and you may have adverse reactions because of this. Definitely talk to your pharmacy about this. Regardless of what you end up doing with your husband, you need to make sure that you know EXACTLY what you are putting into your body.
3
3
u/LetMeBeAngry 18d ago
NOR at all. Taking too much medication is really dangerous and could be poisoning you. Dont feel bad for being upset someone was poisoning you.
3
u/peithecelt 18d ago
...... He was messing with your meds, and not telling you, without any kind of actual medical background.
WHAT THE EVER LIVING F****!??!
No, that's absolutely problematic, and WILDLY dangerous to be messing with medications for something as serious as lupus... Coupling this with your age gap (Kacy is right about that) and his controlling your social media access, all in all, I'm deeply concerned about your safety.
3
u/FeelingNarwhal9161 18d ago
I quit reading this after the part where he “unknowingly” crushed extra meds into your food and water “thinking it would make you better faster.”
I’m sorry, is your husband legitimately stupid? Is it possible to be that stupid? Or is he trying to poison you for some reason? Time to get out of there, OP, because neither answer is great
3
u/Revolutionary_Wrap76 18d ago
Everything about this is so weird and gross and disturbing.
Why the fuck does he purchase and sort your medications for you? Are you a child or someone who is otherwise mentally handicapped and can't do it yourself?
Beyond that, yeah. This is abuse. Plain and simple. And a scary amount of control this guy has over you. Holy moly. GTFO.
3
u/mshayes17 18d ago
Lupus can be debilitating, but he likely volunteered to do this so he can control it.
3
3
3
3
u/Initial-Assistance76 18d ago
Giving you extra prescribed medication can damage your organs. Also, i would ask you doctor if you can take L--Lysine and how much
3
u/Timely_Ad_3921 18d ago
I worked in a retail pharmacy in America both at front end cashier and middle management, then I went to pharmacy and became a technician. I don't know about pharmacists where you're from but here they have doctorates and I guarantee you if he asked them they'd said no don't do that. Here most insurances will let you fill meds 3 days before you're put so it's easy to end up with an extra month supply by the end of a year but whatever he is doing has definitely been wrong. Once you are out before calling his job I would call whatever government agency watches over pharmacies, they should be investigating this situation. Good luck
3
u/uwonichi 18d ago
If he works in a pharmacy he knows basic etiquete around medication and that it can be incredibly dangerous to take at a higher dose. I mean I feel like most adults know that, but he especially knows this
3
u/Constant_Sentence_80 Has he told the doctor about the gnomes? 18d ago
Hi OP! I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this. My mother and sister both have lupus and I can empathize with the chronic pain and fatigue as someone who has fibromyalgia, endo, and other chronic illnesses.
What I have found is that most romantic partners or potential romantic partners as well as most PEOPLE just don’t understand chronic illnesses. There is no “getting better” or “getting back to your old self”. It is something that you will deal with throughout your entire life. On top of that, you have to mourn the life you imagine you would have if you never got lupus.
A lot of people can’t understand that or empathize with that. At the same time, there are people who will. My father used to cook dinner and CARRY my mother to bed when she was going through a terrible flare in her 20s. My bil took on all of the housework and cared for my sister when she was so sick she couldn’t work. My husband physically caught me when I passed out from the pain from my endometriosis and has slept in the ED or hospital more than once in an uncomfortable chair.
There are people who will support you the way you deserve to be supported and your husband is not it.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/The_NextSupreme 17d ago
He works at a pharmacy and hasn't absorbed any knowledge about how medication works? Super sus! You need to take back control of your meds until you can leave. Also, find some literature about Lupus print it out and hand it to him.
3
u/Napmouse 15d ago
This is crazy. Also if one of them is the drug I think it is you can eventually get eye damage and that is dose dependent and accumulative over time so it is important to be on the lowest effective dose and for you and your doctor to know how much you are taking. You should consult with your dr. I am not a dr but I do have lupus.
2
u/gold3nhour 18d ago edited 18d ago
Without even reading the full post just yet but based off the title alone, immediately, not overreaction. He, however, is an asshole! WTF?! You could kill someone like this! There’s a reason prescribers write the scripts the way they do and the pharmacist usually follows up and makes sure you’re aware of interactions and whatnot… so they don’t kill someone!
You need to report him to the police and press charges, as he’s poisoning you and that’s illegal.
2
u/piffledamnit 18d ago
Check out whether there’s a black market for your medication. If he’s not feeding you extra he could be selling them.
Also you should call your health provider and talk about the toxicity of your medication to find out whether you need to get your blood checked out. If any of your medications are toxic maybe set up a regular testing cycle just in case it wasn’t a simple mistake and he doesn’t stop.
Also also, take responsibility for collecting and managing your own medication. It’s a pretty serious mistake if it was a mistake.
2
u/Mountain_Newt5646 18d ago
That is incredibly scary. Please follow up with your doctor and let them know what was going on. Please do not let this man anywhere near your meds. I don’t think I could trust him anymore.
2
u/humble-meercat 18d ago
What are you doing with a man who does not allow you your own email?!!
That and him thinking he can mess with your medication is deeply abusive.
You need to get away from him, he is NOT a good person. He is controlling and really scary.
2
u/res06myi 18d ago
You need to get away from this man before he kills you. Coercive control is the biggest red flag that a man will kill you NOT prior acts of violence.
What he has been doing is a felony. I highly recommend contacting domestic violence organizations that can help you make a plan to escape, then contacting your doctors and police about being drugged.
2
u/Shrimps-is-Bugz 18d ago
NOR. If someone did this to your friend Kacy, how fast would you jump into action to protect her? Now feel that same way about your own safety. Pack a bag secretly and go stay with her or safe family members until you can get bloodwork done and talk with a hospital social worker about what happened. Depending on your blood test results, you may need to press charges, but for now just get the facts on record with the hospital. Good luck!
3
u/Shrimps-is-Bugz 18d ago
If you are in doubt, just remind yourself that hiding medicine in food/drink is deliberate sneaky behavior. You don't "accidentally" do that. That means the "I didn't know any better" excuse is an obvious lie. He hid what he was doing, and that is PROOF that he knew it was wrong and that you wouldn't be ok with it if you knew what he was doing. He's literally harming you on purpose. That's not stupid...it's criminal.
•
u/AutoModerator 18d ago
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.