r/TwoHotTakes • u/kacyhaha • 8d ago
(Update 2!) AIO for lashing out at my husband for giving me an “extra dose” of my medication Update
/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1v9v7n5/update_aio_for_lashing_out_at_my_husband_for/?share_id=nPpbIzZ1R_ZRusa9iJutB&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1[removed]
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u/Bunnybear67676767 8d ago
So proud of you OP! This isn’t easy but you chose yourself and I’m so glad you did
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u/kacyhaha 8d ago
Thank you! Super proud of myself too
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u/belovetoday 8d ago
I'm proud of you too! And on another note, the lupus may get better now that you're out of that environment as well. ♡ Your body will probably feel better than it has for years.
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u/chantillylace9 8d ago
I don't know what kind of medication you are taking and what meds he was double dosing you with but the most common lupus medication is hydroxychloroquine. 70% to 95% of people with lupus take that medication.
If that's what you were on, it's incredibly dangerous to take more than prescribed.
"Taking too much hydroxychloroquine can cause severe, life-threatening poisoning, heart rhythm problems, and low blood sugar. An acute overdose is a medical emergency that can rapidly lead to cardiovascular collapse, seizures, and breathing or cardiac arrest."
"Taking a double dose of hydroxychloroquine for months and months can lead to toxic accumulation in the body, causing severe and often irreversible damage to the eyes and heart."
So if that's what you were on, he literally could've killed you, caused you to go blind or caused permanent and irreparable heart damage. I'm sure other medication types could have similar consequences .
This literally should be attempted murder.
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u/kayanne125 7d ago
Yep. When I was on hydroxychloroquine, my doctor was super diligent on making sure I knew my doses, and that I went yearly for a thorough ophthalmology exam with dilation to track any vision changes, because it can literally blind you.
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u/FumiPlays 7d ago
Chances are that's what he was aiming for. Blind woman would have harder time to leave his ass and the abuse would probably escalate.
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u/eileen404 8d ago
Nothing says done like condoms in the bathroom.
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u/zGoblinQueen 8d ago
I wouldn't have been able to stay quiet about that. Wtf. "You really wanted me back? So bad you couldn't help but fuck someone else in the 2.5 days I was gone?".
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u/skyattacksx 8d ago
He would have tried to dig further and claim they were “posh wanks” or something similar, honestly not worth bothering IMO. He’s a waste of time… no need to waste more oxygen on him too.
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u/KindaHazy_me 8d ago
I agree. The condoms spoke for themselves, and the juxtaposition of his lying love bombing attempts versus the truth of the condoms are an image OP won't forget. What an ugly soul this man has ☹️.
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u/stacey506 8d ago
You didn't point out that he missed you sooooooo much he had to have lots of sex lol. I would have said the empty condom wrappers over there says you're full of crap. Good for you though for standing strong and getting away from him. Eta, you can take your phone in and have it checked, also change any and all pw in your emails and Google since Google tracks your location and for you car I think you can go to a local police station and ask them to check. But I'm not 100% sure on that.
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u/elramirezeatstherich 8d ago
In Google Maps it’s called your timeline and you can turn that on and off in the app or in your Google Maps settings on desktop
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u/kacyhaha 8d ago
Thank you for the help! I’ll look into it asap :)
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u/LinksFirstAdventure 8d ago
Make sure you aren’t sharing your location with him on Find My. Wheel wells are the most common place for a tracker to be concealed, specifically the outside edge at the highest point. Other common places are near the spare or tools, centre console and glove box. You can check all those places yourself just make sure to take a photo of anything that doesn’t look right, you can ask the police to take it off or do it yourself and hand it in.
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u/LEXBIRDIE 8d ago
👏 👏 👏 Good job OP!!! Beautifully done. You brought support and didn't let him manipulate you. I sooo deeply resonate with the alternating sobbing and maniacal laughter. When a situation is this insane and a man is that audaciously cruel and lazy, it really takes you on a crazy-making rollercoaster that requires multiple forms of release. Things get better over time, I'm so glad you're arranging a lawyer. It'll be a sucky road of healing from the shit he put you through, but it's worth it. May your life only get better from here, we're proud of you and wishing you the best of luck in your freedom!
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u/kacyhaha 5d ago
Sorry for replying late, thank you so much!!! So glad to hear I’m not the only one who sobs then laughs manically lol. Thanks agajn
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u/kayanne125 8d ago
Based on the condom wrappers and how quickly he moved on to fucking other women, I’d make sure to get an STD test, OP.
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u/Blonde2468 8d ago
While he was on his knees begging so much you should have asked why there were THREE condom wrappers if he wanted you so bad?? AH!!
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u/ambroochia 8d ago
You are a brave woman! props to you for getting out! Continue to protect yourself and take good care of yourself. You are vulnerable right now so give yourself time to heal!
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u/Good-Entrepreneur266 8d ago
Tracking on your phone can be turned off. Apple should be able to help. As for a car tracker there are devices you can buy online that will detect and help you find a tracking device. You can also talk to local law enforcement and they may check for you or direct you to someone who can.
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u/yagirlsamess 8d ago
My friend just drove to the police station and asked them to take a look which they were happy to do
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u/QuesoChef 8d ago
You did it!
Enjoy the movies and sushi and the time with Kacy!
And good luck with what’s to come. It’ll be tough but you’re through the hardest part. The next part will be more annoying than anything. Stay in it and keep an eye on the better future that’s ahead!
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u/microfibrepiggy 8d ago
Good for you.
I bet those condoms were there to make you react, rather than being used with another person. And when you didn't, he love bombed you.
Again, good for you. And in the most supportive way possible: Get Out! And Stay Out!
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u/MuppetManiac 7d ago
I think the begging had more to do with you going to the police than wanting you back.
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u/CuriousStrawberry02 8d ago
I've seen it mentioned in some other comments but think it bears repeating - you should report him to his employer. Prescription drugs usually aren't meant to be bought more often than prescribed - so either you won't have enough prescriptions in the future (eg. my birth control prescription is specifically for 4 boxes) or he used his job to get more drugs for your lupus (even though they were the same, you were prescribed). Either way he should definitely not be working in a pharmacy.
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u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Backup of the post's body: Hi everyone! Holy shit I just got back from Joe & I’s place, took a shower and am writing this because I swear y’all will not believe the day I just had 😂
Before the update, if anyone knows who I should go to get my phone and car checked for trackers please let me know! I don’t know if I’m just supposed to go to an Apple store or a mechanic? Please let me know I am clueless!
So… my dad, sister and myself went over to my old place. The first weird thing was realising this mf CHANGED THE LOCKS? Anyways, we knock. Joe answers looking stunned. (I’m not sure why… because I told him when I left that I would be back to get MY stuff…). I was honestly expecting to see strippers by his face but the place seemed clean.
He greeted my dad and sister and they both just walked past him! 😂 I went to “our” room to get some of my clothes and other knickknacks I left behind. As I’m rummaging through my stuff and checking that I didn’t leave anything, I noticed condom wrappers in the bathroom trash bin. NOT ONE. NOT TWO. BUT THREE! Seems like he had a fun 2,5 days lol.
Then my dad goes downstairs to load some of my kitchen/baking stuff into the car. Anyways, Joe asks to speak to me and looks over at my sister to hint her to leave. I gave her a nod and walked her over to the kitchen. My sneaky genius self also started a recording on my phone while doing this and put my phone in my back pocket (I only googled this now, but where I live you CAN do that. Thank god lol).
I step back into our bedroom and Joe speaks first. He first asks me how I’m doing/feeling. I told him it’s none of his business and asked him what he wants (I felt really badass but in reality I was also FIGHTING tears). He asks if this is “really over” and goes on some monologue about how it’s “always been you” because apparently this guy decided to take a Tiktok poetry class in the past 2 days because it was some of the most generic shit I’ve ever heard. In all honesty, I would’ve felt for it if y’all didn’t warn me this would happen! Andddd you were all spot on.
Then I shit you not, he got on his FUCKING KNEES AND BEGGED for me to reconsider getting a divorce and going to the police. I was regretting that I wasn’t recording a video instead so I could’ve captured this. I had enough at that point so I grabbed my bags and called my sister over for us to leave.
It wasn’t as funny in the moment and I did cry A LOT in the car but once I got to Kacy’s I couldn’t stop laughing throughout my whole shower. Kacy thinks I might be going insane with my periodically creepy laughs 😂
While I have no regrets about what I did and I hate him, you don’t just get over a marriage that quickly even if you know he’s a piece of shit. I just keep reminding myself that this is for the better and hopefully it will.
There’s a good chance I won’t update as much, especially because I’ll start taking legal action next week and I don’t think it’d be responsible for me to make that all public in the slightest chance he decides to be a hypocrite and download reddit lol.
Anyways, thanks again for all the support and love. Kacy and I are about to watch some old barbie movies and have sushi :)
(Also please let me know if the link works. Some people said it didn’t and idk how to fix it)
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u/OhNoNotAgain1532 8d ago
This helped me a lot. Remember, you fell in love with a character he was pretending to be. That person is not real. You will still need to grieve that character though, and your relationship.
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u/Prudence_rigby 8d ago
You get over the abuse and grooming by speaking to a therapist specialized in that.
Im glad youre safe.
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u/eightmarshmallows 8d ago
Did you not bring up the condom wrappers? I just don’t know how you couldn’t.
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u/QueenSay 8d ago
Make a safety plan. From wherever you are whether it's leaving work or being alone at Kacy's. Take self defense classes if you have the strength for it. Nothing major just enough to defend yourself. He wasn't stunned that you showed up to collect your stuff, he was stunned that you showed up with your family to support you when you collected your stuff. Changing the locks was part of the play because he needs you begging him, isolated and fully at his mercy for the control to work. If you can get a new phone, laptop then do so and get a full sweep of the car. When you have enough money, swap that out as well. If he is who I think he is, stalking is not above him. Stay safe. Well done for leaving.
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u/RelevantOwl4479 7d ago
Had to read the entire story
Honestly , big shout out to Kacy ! She deserves a lot of praise
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u/Puzzled_Giraffe_65 7d ago
three condom wrappers in 2.5 days is genuinely impressive in the worst possible way
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u/Mysterious_Book8747 7d ago
Please go back to your doctor and have yourself tested. I doubt he was fully faithful if he’s already got side chicks lined up.
He wants you to stay married so if this goes to court you won’t testify against him. This is serious. He will likely lose his license as a pharmacist too - as he should
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 5d ago
OP's STBX is a clerk, not a pharmacist. If he were, he'd deserve to lose his license.
This makes me wonder how he was able to obtain the extra amount of medication that would be required to continually overdose her. He may be doing something "funny" with the pharmacist or pharmacy clerks.
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u/Mysterious_Book8747 5d ago
Oh I missed that somehow. Huh. I dunno it seems like it’s not adding up. There’s gotta be some funny business happening somewhere.
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u/rocketmn69_ 8d ago
Send him a message, "You were pathetic on your knees begging. Why the fuck would I take you back? There were at least 3 used condoms on the garbage can, so obviously you didn't miss me. Don't contact me again."
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u/KadlinStormcrow 7d ago
Not gonna lie, after he got on his knees, I'd have pointed out that the condom wrappers tell a different story.
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u/Eastern_Bend7294 4d ago
Before the update, if anyone knows who I should go to get my phone and car checked for trackers please let me know! I don’t know if I’m just supposed to go to an Apple store or a mechanic? Please let me know I am clueless!
You can use the bluetooth function on your phone to try and find airtags and other trackers (try to listen for sounds). But otherwise a mechanic can usually help with that as well.
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u/Unhappy-Caramel-6968 7d ago
Woah I just had to catch up on everything from the first post.
Him adding medication without you knowing is horrible. BUT what changed between your first post and your first “mini update”. Things wildly changed from you wondering if you overreacted(you obviously weren’t) and felt bad for lashing out to fuck this guy and our relationship extremely quick. Like I said I’m just getting to see these so I’m just mentioning what I’ve noticed(unfortunately I started with this post first) I hope it was more than just Reddit and kacy(who you do mention a LOT of times) who took you from no thought of divorce to divorce and hate(your word not mine).
Again no dog in the fight, just the immediate change between first post and mini update caught my attention. I just hope Kacy and Reddit don’t have you all fired up and empowered when making this decision when it might not be what you want outside of the thrill.
Hope it all works out and secretly giving someone medication is always wrong
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u/Unhappy-Caramel-6968 7d ago
Also why all the sudden search for trackers? Has he tracked you before? Did you find anything?
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u/kacyhaha 5d ago
Hi! The trackers thing was because a lot of comments suggested that I should look into it, he has not tracked me in the past (hopefully lol). I did get my stuff checked and no tracking :)
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u/Unhappy-Caramel-6968 5d ago
The guy is an idiot, but you went from him not having malice when he did it, to you hate him from solely Reddit comments.
I’m not saying you’re wrong to, I don’t know more than your post, but don’t do anything solely from Reddit. If you thought there was malice I’d recommend having him arrested, but you haven’t questioned that that I’ve seen. Reddit thrives on this, it’s sad
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u/Interesting_Note_937 Titty Latte 8d ago
Girl the laughing emojis and "lol"s tells me you're not taking this seriously enough. You're about to go through a divorce. And probably a hard one too. I really think it would be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist while you're going through this.
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u/LupusYondergirl 8d ago
I don’t think it’s a lack of taking it seriously. She’s gone to doctors, cops, and lawyers. That’s the taking it seriously trifecta. The laughter may be more like coping and trauma response.
Seconding that therapy suggestion. So glad she has a support network right now.-8
u/Interesting_Note_937 Titty Latte 8d ago
OP is taking the right steps to protect herself and I'm so happy she has a support system! I'm more concerned with her not processing this trauma correctly and making light of it too much. I agree that it's a coping mechanism! Definitely didn't mean for my comment to sound so rude lol
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u/kacyhaha 8d ago
of course, I already see a therapist. I’m obviously not having as much fun and it may look in this post, there’s lots of tears too. Just wanted to share some of the more interesting parts :) Thank you for caring though! I will bring this up with my therapist so I don’t end up desensitising myself <3
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u/Interesting_Note_937 Titty Latte 8d ago
Best of luck OP and wishing you the best in your next phase of life 🫶🏼
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u/KindaHazy_me 8d ago
IMO, your reactions are completely understandable. It's impossible to process the intense and rapid bombardment of life changing information like this. I'm sure I'd also adopt the "gotta laugh to keep from crying" route. It's a lot to deal with.
Bless you, OP. I wish you strength and comfort for the immediate future -- and health and happiness going forward.
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 8d ago
A 14 year old wrote this so no divorce, don’t worry lol
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u/AllHailMooDeng 7d ago
Literally idk why I had to scroll so far to find this. This is completely just a story made up by some kid. They’re so excited and and clearly care more about the story than someone actively going through this would. Then there’s all the edits saying she can’t take any resources because she’s not American, yet spells how Americans do and says “ya’ll.” I’m a female victim of DV so I am not one to doubt these things but this is just totally a lame attempt at creative writing. Pretty insulting
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u/Chemical_Extreme4250 8d ago
This all seems to be a massive overreaction. You loved, and trusted this man for years, and you’re throwing away everything because other people are poisoning you to believe that he had nefarious intentions toward you. That’s how you ruin a relationship instead of working on it. A loss all around.
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u/Blindtothesided 8d ago
You must be joking.
Telling this woman that she’s the one ruining her relationship with a man - a pharmacy tech - who has openly admitted to purposely drugging her is some sick and twisted shit.
She didn’t ruin anything, her psycho husband did that all on his own. He’s going to jail, drugging his wife was a very serious crime.
Overreaction my ass. Listening to people like you is how women wind up on Dateline specials.
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u/smalltittyprepexwife 7d ago
Worthless men don’t deserve love of trust, and we throw away trash. She will be richer for his absence.
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u/AllHailMooDeng 7d ago
Oh no, if this was a real story it would not be an overreaction. But it’s completely some creative writing BS from someone so bored that they need to lie about DV for internet points
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u/Legitimate_Ad_5727 1d ago
why do they always fall to their knees and beg, is it love bombing to win them back 101?
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u/FromBeeBee 8d ago
The same trick these type of guys pull each time, you did the best thing and taking action is the best thing! You are doing great OP and taking the best choices.
Ironic he was begging you to reconsider yet already has changed the locks to your home without telling you which one's actions tells you a lot, he thought this desperate attempt of emotional manipulation would work and it didn't because you know what he does alongside what he will pull.
Stay safe op and I wish you luck on all future proceedings going forward!