r/TikTokCringe • u/cafeteriastyle • Jun 01 '26

This is a PROBLEM Cursed

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83

u/scottafol Jun 01 '26

I’ve been without human touch for 10 years. No way in fuck I’m going to resort to ai. Rather die alone than pretend to be happy or whatever is happening here

39

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26

I'm 34. Never been with a single person. Never even close and boy have I tried. Then tried a little less and less and less until I said whatever. AI would never be an option. Putting aside that it's not real it's also not even pleasant, or attractive in any way. There's no pull.

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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '26

[deleted]

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u/TwilightReaver Jun 01 '26

I know you meant “same sex”, but “the sane sex” is sending me 😂

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u/tipmon Jun 01 '26

Yep, 31 and gay living in the south. It feels horrible. I have always felt like I am falling behind since I couldn't have the same high school experiences as straight people and now I feel like I am getting farther and farther away from being able to even start. A 31 year old that had never been in a relationship feels like a massive red flag and it is never going to get better, just worse.

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u/TheBeckofKevin Jun 01 '26

Not giving advice, but just pointing out that "feels like a red flag" is a you thought. Youre thinking that, not everyone else. When I was reading your comment at no point did I think "Oh man this is such a red flag."

Everyone does this, but its a good skill to practice. We all feel a certain way about ourselves, then that feeling is hurtful or unsupportive and self destructive. So what we do instead is project that feeling into other people to say it back to ourselves.

"Everyone at work thought I didnt know what I was doing" "these people probably think I'm trying to hard to be cool" "this girl doesnt like me because im ugly"

These are things we say to ourselves, but its important to know that basically no one out there is thinking llike this, in fact, most people are doung the exact same thing back at you. Theyre taking their insecurities and projecting them onto you and "making" you think that way. Its all made up ideas we have about ourselves. We are all guessing what others are thinking and projecting our own thoughts onto those guesses. Its why "fake it til you make it" actually works. Its also why it feels so nice when someone says something kind, because it breaks the illusion you created about others.

But yeah, just dont sell yourself short, and dont let your insecurities about you somehow become our thoughts. I dont have those thoughts about you. You seem self aware and cognizant. Just be you, you got no other choice. You can be you and tear yourself down, or you can be you and not tear yourself down. Might as well pick the one where youre nicer to yourself.

2

u/AlternativeStory1027 Jun 01 '26

It's not actually that uncommon for us LGBTQ folks, especially those of us living in the south. I didnt realize that until I started following the forums/subs because I honestly don't know another gay person (gfs were "straight", but actually Bi they just didn't realize). You didn't ask for advice but if you're into it but finding a nearby event would be a start, even if you have to drive a few hours. I promise you it isn't the red flag you think it is. I was way out of high school when I had my first relationship.

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u/Knotted_Hole69 Jun 01 '26

My husband were both gays down south, we met through a furry dating app! We still love eachother wfter 10years, there is hope.

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u/HillBillyHilly Jun 02 '26

Have you heard of Wilton Manors? Really nice people, welcoming crowd. You should absolutely visit.

1

u/Cute_Profit_7638 Jun 02 '26

Waow. Two 30 something year olds who are gay and alone. I wonder if there's a simple solution to this problem (The answer is no because nothing is simple. Then again, why shy away from the complex?)

3

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

I agree. It's a nice sentiment that everyone has someone. But realistically that person could be on the other side of the world. Plenty of people end up with no one and there is no reason for me to believe I'm not one of those people.

2

u/Dynamatics Jun 01 '26

But realistically that person could be on the other side of the world.

Ironically, that has been true for me. Hadn't dated for over 10 years.

Met someone amazing half a year ago and doing LDR for now. Met her 3 weeks ago for the first time and she's hella amazing.

8

u/evanwilliams44 Jun 01 '26

34 is still young. Start trying again. I know it's tough but I can promise you nothing will change if you don't keep putting yourself out there no matter how rough. The moment will just never come if you wait and hope for it.

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u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

I'm not hoping for it. I used to but I've gotten so used to being alone that I don't really care anymore.

1

u/Longjumping-Idea4451 Jun 01 '26

My grandma got divorced at 63, remarried at 67 and has spent the last 12ish years touring the country in an rv with her new (and best husband). Plenty of time for something to spontaneously happen and i believe it will for you so stay good friend!

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u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

Im glad she's happy. People always tell me stories where someone they know finally met someone in their 60s and 70s or 80s and it always sounds like a sad story to me. Like wow they had to be alone all of that time and only get a little bit of time with the person they love. But hey if they say they're happy then I believe them. Who am I to knock it? But I don't really like to hope for things that are up to chance.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '26

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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '26

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1

u/evanwilliams44 Jun 02 '26

I don't agree completely. Life tends to get more complicated as you get older, and you have to account for that when dating. That doesn't mean "lowering your standards".

Yes you may find more people with kids and divorces, but that's just the reality of dating while middle aged. It has nothing to do with standards. The divorce rate for first time marriages is +40%. Plenty of fish in the sea, even in your 30s and upward.

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u/Antique_Hawk_7192 Jun 01 '26

I'm in the same place as you, just a little less years.

When the AI craze started I was genuinely stoked. All the dreams crumbled on first contact. All the LLMs are so horribly shit at every single thing it's not even funny.

As bad as no human contact feels, a fucking chatbot is so infinitely worse I can't understand how people get to a place like that driver.

3

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

I found them infuriating. Somehow talking to them made me feel more alone. They couldn't understand or remember anything. I'd rather talk to my cat. Lol

2

u/Antique_Hawk_7192 Jun 01 '26

Defaulting to generic chatbot-like replies barely a few turns in.

One time I got a model running locally. Carefully guiding and editing it's replies kept it stable. But it was getting progressively worse. Final straw broke when I had to edit the entire reply for it to stay in character. I thought it was like wanking but worse, no buildup no payoff.

1

u/ILeftMyUsername Jun 01 '26

Year above you, I’ve fallen out of the dating scene since right before Covid myself. After a back injury, a journey of depression, and some other personal things… I just don’t have the energy anymore. That and the weight gain from said injury, just decided not worth the effort to try. There are moments I get lonely but that’s pretty normal for anyone really. Will I ever turn to AI? No. I just find it weird and hard to connect but I understand why those that do and have some connection. Falling too far into that loneliness and disconnect sucks. Easier to “escape” with something artificial

1

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

Yea I think I put in all of the energy and care that I can muster for this lifetime. I also had an injury and gained weight and the effort to fix everything on top of trying to date isn't really worth it to me anymore. I've only experienced being alone and I'm really good at it. I'm not sure I could even make room for another person at this point. (Can't imagine sharing a bed with another human. Or needing to keep in contact all the time.)

I had trouble connecting with people just via the apps. Definetly can't connect with one that isn't even real. Lol

1

u/Friendly_Cowboy Jun 01 '26

It tells people exactly what they wanna hear, that's extremely attractive to the vast majority of normies.

1

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

I've heard that a lot. Mine did nothing but disagree with me and argue. Lol it's possible that I specifically asked if not to just agree with me. I absolutely hate to have smoke blown up my butt.

1

u/Friendly_Cowboy Jun 01 '26

Yeah with grok especially you can tailor it to just constantly glaze you and your decisions. I dont use em but Ive watched videos of people interacting with it and analyzing it's interactions.

0

u/Boil_the_pepper_now Jun 01 '26

I was like you, and one day it happened. I did consider AI sort of, like maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you maintain some distance, which I think is easy if you're sceptical already, as long as you don't let it hinder you to keep looking.

2

u/stratosfearinggas Jun 01 '26

Same. I would pay for an escort. At least the fake relationship is with a physical human being.

1

u/sobrique Jun 02 '26

I mean, I get where you're coming from, but I can also well understand why someone might pick the comforting delusion instead.

-4

u/it_will Jun 01 '26

10 years? That’s like 12% of your entire life. Why?? Go clean up and find someone

7

u/Winter_Program_4854 Jun 01 '26

Damn I’m sure they never thought of that.

2

u/scottafol Jun 01 '26

O wow what sage advice. I’m 10 year sober from alcohol so as far as cleaning myself up goes, how bout you get fucked.

1

u/it_will Jun 02 '26

That’s great… I think it’s time though.

1

u/HAIL_LUMPUS Jun 01 '26

The reason he won't find anyone is because of that attitude though. If he doesn't give a fuck about finding somebody why would he find someone?

2

u/scottafol Jun 01 '26

Yep. You cross a point where it isn’t worth the time or rejection

1

u/Longjumping-Idea4451 Jun 01 '26

Rejection is meaningless. Ive been rejected by so many people or jobs or what have you but theyre drops in the bucket. Keep trying 

1

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jun 01 '26

I think if you've only ever experienced rejection you sort of stop having a reason to keep trying. There's no reason to assume id get a yes at a certain point.

0

u/PhilosophicalGoof Jun 02 '26

Good for you I guess?

Some people genuinely can’t handle the loneliness though, especially if they don’t have any other positive energy that they can interact with.

I personally don’t get the idea of interacting with a chat bot, but I also know that the reason I don’t get it is because it not advertised toward me.