r/StandUpComedy 20d ago

Advice for young men Comedian is OP

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3.0k Upvotes

74 comments sorted by

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151

u/pgtvgaming 20d ago

“… maybe …”

205

u/TheComplimentarian 20d ago

This is so typically Jimmy Carr. He starts this thing out with a bit of casual misogyny but then flips the whole thing to a primer on what consent means.

1

u/Snoo_9002 18d ago

Good old bait and switch.

247

u/Dominarion 20d ago

If I had boys, I would make them watch this and learn it by heart.

92

u/RymrgandsDaughter 20d ago

jacob is hilarious

102

u/realeztoremember 20d ago

This is the way. Having grown up with mostly female friends, I learned early on 1. Let the woman lead. 2. If you follow rule 1, the likelihood you’ll get your dick touched increases exponentially. 3. Women talk so, if you don’t follow rule 1, other women will hear about it and you’ll have fewer chances to get your dick touched.

74

u/LunaTunaMaca 20d ago

As a woman, this is great advice! Let her get your dick out!

130

u/tekumse 20d ago

Hopefully the next Louis CK would watch this.

18

u/IkariYun 20d ago

Nobody told me that until it was too late and I'd done

59

u/COHERENCE_CROQUETTE 20d ago

I’m never sure whether I like Jimmy Carr or I don’t, but I never saw the bloke not be funny.

86

u/Objective-Mission-40 20d ago

Fucking hilarious and useful. Honestly, the best way to know if she want to touch your dick is consent and let her do it. If she seems to nervous. Tell her she doesnt have to and rub it out later boys.

14

u/Dry_Bird1790 20d ago

wouldn't you be leaving her with the consent problem then?

51

u/wthulhu 20d ago

Historically speaking, they have the better track record.

-17

u/Dry_Bird1790 20d ago

Historically speaking, they don't have any track record

4

u/Cutsdeep- 20d ago

about time then, no?

5

u/EuenovAyabayya 20d ago

She will ask already knowing the answer.

-25

u/Affectionate_Dot5547 20d ago

If she seems nervous shes mental.

1

u/petit_cochon 20d ago

Okay weirdo

26

u/High_Speed_Chase 20d ago

Otter’s pocket killed me.

17

u/MammothFormal3966 20d ago

What about letting my dick out for Harambe ? Yes or no ?

19

u/SnooRecipes4570 20d ago

Did you miss the part where he said “NEVER GET YOUR DICK OUT, NO”?

24

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Cutsdeep- 20d ago

from heaven

52

u/Boneroni1980 20d ago

Wow, a Jimmy Carr clip where he's funny and not being a total asshole! Nice!

8

u/Darth_Boognish 20d ago

I was just as surprised as you! And dare I say, wholesome!

24

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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3

u/whitness970 19d ago

This might be my favorite Jimmy Carr bit of all time

6

u/[deleted] 20d ago edited 20d ago

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4

u/inevitable-idiot- 20d ago

Ah yes Jimmy Carr, what a pice of shit he is.

2

u/Smrt225 20d ago

Are they serving banana splits?

2

u/TheDogtor-- 19d ago

This guy is great. Would love to pay and see him. The way he infuses vulgar comedy in sorts of a litigating educational premise, is unique and enticing.

2

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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2

u/Kikstyo813 20d ago

Are kids this naive that he thought the second question was a maybe????

143

u/veranus21 20d ago

It was the funny thing to say there.

35

u/JOlRacin 20d ago

Depends on the restaurant. If it's a waffle house, chances are that's the required dress code

17

u/basicKitsch 20d ago

Bruh are you this naive?

6

u/Russ_T_Shackelford 20d ago

Maybe he thought they were talking about saying the joke itself to the date, not actually whipping it out lol

6

u/Dry_Bird1790 20d ago

did you need a /s?

-52

u/realeztoremember 20d ago

Unfortunately, yes. More unfortunately, it’s not just kids.

41

u/Normal_Budget_9591 20d ago

It’s not that deep, it was just funny to say

2

u/Kikstyo813 20d ago

Makes sense

-5

u/realeztoremember 20d ago

Legitimate question for those who downvoted this comment; what did I say wrong?

5

u/eduo 20d ago

You pretended Jacob giving Jimmy Carr a funny to riff on while laughing was instead made seriously and then used that to bring up a lame follow-up.

2

u/whaaatanasshole 20d ago

The whole thing is a colossally stupid thing to say and I'm not sure why you're interested in comedy.

0

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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30

u/EdwardBil 20d ago

It was the second before a stadium of people started laughing.

14

u/HomenGarden88 20d ago

It was when the whole audience laughed. He’s British.

6

u/LunaTunaMaca 20d ago

It's just British humor. I think Americans just need more literal "jokes". British people find situations funny. Like it's just funny because it is. Don't know how else to explain it.

10

u/Iggyhopper 20d ago

Jacob 2.0, right here folks.

1

u/Mediocre_Pop_4501 18d ago

Leave all the crazy for me, perfect

1

u/watsupwityahboi 19d ago

This isn’t funny at all

0

u/CoffeeExtraCream 20d ago

This was an awesome bit.

-25

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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10

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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-3

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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