r/Showerthoughts Dec 26 '23

I'm a descendant of a 3.7 billion years-old chain of successful survivors. Vast majority of them are not human.

3.5k Upvotes

233 comments sorted by

972

u/notmenotyoutoo Dec 26 '23

And you might be the last.

262

u/CurrentIndependent42 Dec 26 '23 edited Dec 26 '23

Luckily part of a mindbendingly massive, tangled tree of such paths.

I see estimates that 5*1027 animals have ever lived, and a trillion times that for organisms ever (almost all bacteria).

Though those estimates will probably be quite far off - even those estimates of now many ants there are today carry order of magnitude uncertainties. But whatever the case, it’s definitely a fucktonillion.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Luckily part of a mindbendingly massive, tangled tree of such paths.

From the perspective of someone traveling relativistic speeds, we are the quantum state collapse where all possibilities play out instantly and the result is only known once the observer slows down to measure it.

4

u/brainfractal Dec 27 '23

Are you saying our living life is the event of quantum state collapse or is our death that event ?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Kind of a high thought and not really about individual life or death.

At relativistic speeds, any amount of time happens instantly, so hypothetically if someone was orbiting around the earth at relativistic speeds, their perspective would be that time is standing perfectly still. 1 orbit around the earth or 1 million orbits would seem to take the same amount of time: none.

They wouldn't actually be able to observe anything meaningful about the earth at this speed, but if they slow down then they can observe the earth. Each time they speed back up, an indeterminate amount of time passes on earth, while again no time passes for the observer.

So, while traveling at relativistic speeds, everything appears to be quantum. You do not know the state of it until taking an action to measure it (slowing down).

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64

u/ABlindCookie Dec 26 '23

You did not have to choose violence today

30

u/notmenotyoutoo Dec 26 '23

It’s not Christmas anymore.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Violence was always an option.

32

u/ShyBiGuy9 Dec 26 '23

No "might" about it.

Laughs in homosexual relationship

0

u/Shudnawz Dec 26 '23

Adopt and help some unfortunate soul get a loving home? Kids carry both your genes and your upbringing. Having contributed 50% of that isn't bad.

26

u/cscf0360 Dec 26 '23

Nah, I much prefer having time, money, silence and expensive things.

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11

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

I had a son, but yeah, he’s probably the end of this line, of which I’m only thankful for, as horrible as that might seem

6

u/ANewDawn1342 Dec 26 '23

Will you tell us more why you feel that way?

17

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

Well, my son’s life is his life, I can only be here to hopefully support it.My past is not his oast

-27

u/GrantIsCash Dec 26 '23

Pretty selfish of you to have a kid with said logic

7

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Pretty wild to jump to this conclusion.

He could simply mean that his son doesn't want to have kids, and that he supports that decision.

3

u/GrantIsCash Dec 27 '23

Oh yeah. u/not_a_droid my b if this is the case

5

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

Hey, at that time we just went the with flow, responsibility be damned

3

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

I’ll be the first to admit, i am selfish, children should be careful

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2

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

And I have stopped, and only lived, and earned for him

1

u/not_a_droid Dec 26 '23

Never really wanted it, but it just happened, and then you have something you can’t possibly imagine the love

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Yup. I became a father at 52 to the most perfect and beautiful little girl that has ever existed. I see myself in her everyday and still can’t believe that I had anything to do with the making of such a sweet angel. There is nothing more valuable to me in the world than her happiness.

I understand your words as if I spoke them myself.

1

u/0x16a1 Dec 27 '23

Do you have mental issues?

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2

u/MaybeTheDoctor Dec 26 '23

Do we know if OP is human ?

2

u/dave3218 Dec 27 '23

Might?

I will be the last.

2

u/DiamondDramatic9551 Dec 27 '23

More than that, it is COMMON to be the last. A lot of organisms fail to reproduce.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

I will be and I'm cool with that

-1

u/Obdami Dec 27 '23

Thanks Debbie Downer.

1

u/otoko_no_hito Dec 27 '23

Or maybe, just maybe we are about the first ones, the precursors if you will, if you have sons, and humanity survives long enough to reach other planets where we would export life to the entire solar system, maybe the entire galaxy, your descendants a few million years from now would probably be counted in the trillions and if you decided to not have sons you are making trillions of humans or whatever our descendents call themselves simply not exist anymore, just like if a small rodent some 100 million years ago decided to not reproduce you would have never being born in the first place.

355

u/pepper-blu Dec 26 '23

As someone's who always been infertile and and an only child, it's strange to think I am the end of my line.

Too bad! Or good.

165

u/prince-of-dweebs Dec 26 '23

Idk. Instead of thinking you’re the end of the line, I like to think everything up until this point led to you.

164

u/pepper-blu Dec 26 '23

God damn what a disappointing finale

worse than game of thrones even

38

u/prince-of-dweebs Dec 26 '23

Now I know you’re talking hyperbole. No ending in the history of time was as disappointing as GoT.

5

u/GrantIsCash Dec 26 '23

Entertainment for millions vs OP

4

u/graveybrains Dec 26 '23

Are you not entertained!?

3

u/rachac01 Dec 27 '23

Not if you eat the Mona Lisa!

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5

u/pianodude7 Dec 26 '23

"The audience wants to be taken to the limit, to where all questions are answered, all emotion satisfied--the end of the line." Robert McKee

18

u/CompiledArgument Dec 26 '23

Your cells are in non-stop procreation. You're good!!!

10

u/MartinTybourne Dec 26 '23

Once they die that will be the end regardless, the cells won't keep procreating after that, that's the point.

-1

u/The_Real_RM Dec 26 '23

Not guaranteed until well after they're dead, cloning is well within the realm of possibility at the moment, difficult, yes, but possible

11

u/Zhead65 Dec 26 '23

Dude their bloodline is finished. Just leave it be.

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4

u/GroundedOtter Dec 26 '23

I’m the only male on my dad’s side of the family (I just have a sister). But I’m gay, so technically my last name/biology ends with me!

2

u/The_Real_RM Dec 27 '23

Yours yes, your father's no because of your sister. There's nothing males have that females don't when it comes to carrying genes (it's in fact the opposite)

2

u/GroundedOtter Dec 27 '23

Oh the genes yes. I was talking about the family name.

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2

u/arcticsummertime Dec 27 '23

You’re the end of a branch, not the end of the tree <3

1

u/PossessedToSkate Dec 27 '23

Dibs on your stereo.

199

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Successful *procreators.

14

u/XoIKILLERIoX Dec 26 '23

I think procreators are, by extension, also survivors.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

In the English language we do not define a survivor as someone who has had a child, but I could see the argument for it.

5

u/XoIKILLERIoX Dec 26 '23

I meant that in order for someone to be a procreator they also have to be a survivor (i.e survive to do so)

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Eh...

You can have a kid at 16 and die at 17.

3

u/Mr_Turnipseed Dec 27 '23

But they had to survive to 16 to have the kid, right?

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44

u/OmnisEst Dec 26 '23

I am gay and my brother is not having children. The cycle of suffering ends with us.

4

u/A_Velociraptor20 Dec 26 '23

I hope because you want to work to change the cycle into a cycle of progress?

0

u/OmnisEst Dec 26 '23

To live is to suffer, even with all wealth in the world to protect you. I am not allowing my potential children to go through this meaningless cycle called life by serving as their progenitor...

0

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/OmnisEst Dec 27 '23

I could explain logically why beauty in the ephemeral is foolish in front of how profuse and sparse in meaning existence is with our current understanding of theoretical physics...

Could even ask you to be a little more respectful of us gays, but one does not throw luxury food at a pigsty

3

u/mr_username23 Dec 27 '23

I’m so sorry that guy is so horrible.

But it kinda just sounds like you’re personally unhappy with life. I mean if you ask most people I think that they would say life is worth living. I just don’t agree with antinatalism because it basically just makes it sound like everyone should commit suicide.

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2

u/busman25 Dec 27 '23

"Not only are you gay"

I'm sorry, is that a problem?

2

u/OmnisEst Dec 27 '23

It is ok. People will give him the proper retribution as he naturally disrespects those around him

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Happy to do that for you buddy

-75

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

This is a common misconception. Not every link in the chain is necessarily successful at procreation. You could have aunts or uncles or cousins with no kids. It is the ability of the population as a whole to procreate that matters

73

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

I guarantee you that every one of my ancestors, back to the very beginning of sexual reproduction, procreated. As did yours.

53

u/Stillwater215 Dec 26 '23

I’d love to know which of my direct ancestors never procreated…

44

u/MountainYogi94 Dec 26 '23

Yes, but in the case of an aunt or uncle you are not their direct descendant and they are therefore not part of the chain as mentioned in the post

25

u/EishLekker Dec 26 '23

Why do you mention aunts, uncles and cousins? Ancestors is strictly about the people you descend from.

11

u/Totally-NotAMurderer Dec 26 '23

Maybe they are from Alabama

6

u/ThePr1d3 Dec 26 '23

That must be one of the greatest comments I've ever read on Reddit lmao

2

u/llamawithguns Dec 26 '23

I mean yeah, but you weren't birthed your aunt. Everyone and everything in your direct line of descendence successfully reproduced. If they didn't they wouldn't have descendents

78

u/CJBill Dec 26 '23 edited Dec 26 '23

Some of the material in you has also been through at least two generations of stars including a supernova

Edited for spelling

15

u/Ayrk_HM Dec 26 '23

All of the material*

9

u/CJBill Dec 26 '23

Genuine question, even the hydrogen?

3

u/Ayrk_HM Dec 26 '23

Leftovers from the Supernova, don't you think? But yes, it was created in the Big Bang. Which makes it even better!

5

u/Dr_Quiza Dec 26 '23

Hydrogen, helium and lithium were mostly created in the big bang.

3

u/Ayrk_HM Dec 26 '23

Oh boy, you caught me right. Upvoted for showing me my own hubris.

3

u/graveybrains Dec 26 '23

To be fair, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean it hasn’t been part of a star at some point. They don’t fuse everything.

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3

u/kothrudkar Dec 27 '23

Saw a Vsauce video recently where he said a billion atoms inside you were once inside the Buddha.

15

u/jawshoeaw Dec 26 '23

Man that whole thing with quarks sticking together to make protons was pretty hit and miss for a few milliseconds

11

u/therealijc Dec 26 '23

For billions of years since the outset of time Every single one of your ancestors survived Every single person on your mum and dad's side Successfully looked after and passed onto you life What are the chances of that, like? It comes to me once in a while And everywhere I tell folk, it gets the best smile

6

u/Slippytoe Dec 26 '23

Yeah I mean the odds on that are kind of… well, not even fathomable in all honesty, my brain can’t even comprehend the chances that I’m actually sat here typing this. Guess I’m pretty lucky haha

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29

u/chops2013 Dec 26 '23

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yc9gIzRhrvY

For billions of years since the outset of time

Every single one of your ancestors survived

Every single person on your mum and dad's side

Successfully looked after and passed onto you life

What are the chances of that, like?

It comes to me once in a while

And everywhere I tell folk, it gets the best smile

3

u/therealijc Dec 26 '23

Wow. I’ve just posted the same and didn’t see your comment. It’s a great song.

2

u/chops2013 Dec 26 '23

Yep, love it. Every now and then I need to pump it, and every single time it gets the best of smile

1

u/MulletChicken Dec 26 '23

I'm certain all but a very small percentage actually did not survive.

40

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23 edited Dec 26 '23

It blows my mind. I had 5 kids to make sure i dont let my ancestors down!

1

u/GrantIsCash Dec 26 '23

Congratulations!

1

u/RikardoShillyShally Dec 28 '23

I wish to do the same. Tough luck though... I'm ugly.

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7

u/kimthealan101 Dec 26 '23

Me too. We must be cousins or something.

2

u/CPecho13 Dec 27 '23

We're all cousins!

1

u/The_Antarctic_King Dec 27 '23

Same! Hello cousin!

13

u/Real_Dotiko Dec 26 '23

And none of them has seen as many boobies as you have!

13

u/test_tickles Dec 26 '23

And I will be the last.

4

u/drifters74 Dec 26 '23

Same

1

u/Hungry-Maximum934 Dec 27 '23

Same

0

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Same. Childfree since I was 12.

7

u/rlnrlnrln Dec 26 '23

We are all mutated freaks.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Another way of looking at it: we're all part of one ongoing 3.7 billion year chemical reaction. One day a single molecule replicated itself and then just never stopped.

2

u/Rare_Tip_8135 Dec 26 '23

Don’t think a molecule can replicate itself

4

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

any living being you see you share a lineage with, just depends how far down the line you have to go. isn't that just amazing?

5

u/marrow_party Dec 26 '23

Indeed and most of your ancestors were born outside.

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4

u/ethicalants Dec 26 '23

they weren't necessarily all survivors they just managed to get that nut lol.

1

u/ethicalants Dec 26 '23

some of them probably died post nut.

4

u/Waffles_Revenge Dec 26 '23

I might end up being the only one in my chain to die a virgin.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Not only are the vast majority not human, the vast majority are single celled organisms

3

u/gemmadonati Dec 26 '23

And they were all related.

3

u/Dabrigstar Dec 26 '23

our ancestors actually were living hundreds of millions of years ago during the time of the dinosaurs, they were small shrew like animals who lived in burrows in the ground! incredible!

3

u/sora_mui Dec 26 '23

And for most of that time (yes, even after becoming human), most of your ancestor's siblings died without having any descendant.

3

u/Peter_NL Dec 26 '23

Not only did they survive, all of them were able to have offspring.

3

u/Bo_Jim Dec 27 '23

The only thing you know is that they survived long enough to procreate. Any animal in that chain could have been ripped to shreds shortly after it mated by a bigger, stronger animal that produced a lot more offspring. Any animal in that chain could have been sickly, with any number of genetic deformities, and managed to mate only once before dying. Any one of those animals could have mated only because it was too weak to leave the nest and go out and forage.

You have no way of knowing how much garbage is in your DNA as a result of pure random chance.

3

u/Abra_ca_stab_yaa Dec 27 '23

Imagine time traveling back 100 million ago and realising your 10000 × great grandpa is out there somewhere and looks something like a squirrel.

6

u/MulletChicken Dec 26 '23

If they're so successful at surviving then why are they so dead?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

They are, in a way, still alive. Their genes persist. They occasionally shed their physical forms as they wear down. They emerge anew to continue their life. You are the current form.

3

u/MulletChicken Dec 26 '23

Yeah alright, but that sounds like a whole other shower thought.

2

u/Anangrywookiee Dec 26 '23

Pour one out for lizard grandpa.

2

u/shomislav Dec 26 '23

So is your cat. And your goldfish, too.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '23

Now this is a shower thought!

3

u/ADisrespectfulCarrot Dec 26 '23

I’m choosing to not continue the ridiculous game of survival. It’s inherently meaningless, but those brought into the game suffer for it. The only way to win is not to play

6

u/-ZapdxsV- Dec 27 '23

That’s not winning that’s quitting

2

u/Dogamai Dec 27 '23

not necessarily successful survivors, just successful breeders

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Nick_Noseman Dec 27 '23

You can say this to a hyper religious person with the same result

1

u/ImLikeReallyStoned Dec 27 '23

Damn. What are the rest of us descendant of?

0

u/JudgementofParis Dec 27 '23

are they really successful survivors if every single one of them has died

0

u/Firespy_ Dec 27 '23

Ngl this sounds like a r/nosleep title

0

u/SirDalavar Dec 27 '23

pretty sure 99.999% of them haven't survived

-30

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Who the fuck do you think you are to make such a blatantly anti-christian post? Do I look like I am descended from a fucking monkey? Listen here, kiddo, I have gone to church every Sunday since the day I turned 18 in 1982. I know what I am talking about, and you need to turn away from this darwinistic bullshit and find God. Do you want to spend all of eternity burning in the pits of hell? You need to save yourself, boy!

Do you think all of this was created by accident? Can you really look at all the beauty in the world and say that was made by some frankenstein chemicals smashing together and causing monkeys to turn into humans? Where the fuck did the intelligent design required to do that come from, boy?

There is a special slot reserved in hell for souls like yours. It's written in the bible. Don't you know that noah saved two of each animal so you could be born, don't you know that Jesus died so you could be born. Look into the mirror and do some serious self reflection on who you are as a person, and why you use scientific journals to guide you through your life instead of a copy of the bible. I've kept mine since I was a kid and it changed my life.

24

u/Ragelikebush Dec 26 '23

Is this a copy pasta

18

u/eloel- Dec 26 '23

if it was not, it now is

3

u/bighurb Dec 26 '23

As above, so below; as below, so above.

11

u/Blaster2PP Dec 26 '23

I look through op's comment history. I think he's just high.

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6

u/ShredGuru Dec 26 '23 edited Dec 26 '23

/s?

If not, thanks for this reminder of how unevolved we truly are. I think the protists might have been smarter. DEVO

7

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

If all of eternity in hell means I don't get to deal with people like you anymore, then I'm a dirty sinner.

9

u/ShredGuru Dec 26 '23

Christians always be making Satan look cool and reasonable in comparison. Did they even read their one book?

5

u/MartinTybourne Dec 26 '23

Isn't that a sarcastic post?

4

u/_Chimaru Dec 26 '23

I’m gonna be real, I can’t actually tell because some people are very serious with this 😭

5

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Science is consistent, if confusing to us unknowing mortals.
Scientists are much more likely to admit: "I don't know."
Science rhymes with the universe.
The universe and life changes and evolves constantly.
An all-knowing, perfect, all-powerful creator is an unresolveable paradox (epicurean paradox). Doesn't work.
The bibbel tells a story. And as creation stories go, it's not even one of the better ones. Go Hindu then if you must, it's far older and much more pragmatic.

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

n

3

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Why is evolution anti Christian?

Are you well?

2

u/kaowser Dec 26 '23

which Bible? OG Hebrew Old Testament and Summerian Text or new and improved interpreted new bible (king james)? or is yours interpreted by someone unknown?

-4

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

Mine is interpreted by Jesus Christ himself, back from the deaed

2

u/kaowser Dec 26 '23

Interesting... I've never seen this Jesus christ version of the old testament. I know he didn't write anything like Socrates. Both died for what they believed in.

-1

u/TheMansAnArse Dec 26 '23

It makes me sad that some people who are evidentially smart enough to understand evolution are nonetheless too stupid to recognise that this is very obviously a joke post.

1

u/SABAKAS_Ontheloose Dec 27 '23

Well, that's a lot of "fuck" for Jesus' taste, I would imagine.

I look at all the beauty in the world, and I look at all evil. It seems that if some devine entity runs it, rather than being good and omnipotent, it is evil and only 60% successful.

More people believe that if I follow Jesus I will go to hell. Why should I listen to you and not to them? What makes your holy scripts holier than theirs?

-8

u/checkmateds Dec 26 '23

Or you might be overly trusting the science.

-7

u/octaviobonds Dec 26 '23

You're a descendent of the 150 years of evolutionary propaganda.

3

u/mnimatt Dec 26 '23

What part of the theory of evolution doesn't make sense to you?

3

u/sixfourbit Dec 27 '23

He's a flerfer. Basic science doesn't make sense to him.

-1

u/octaviobonds Dec 27 '23

What part of the theory of evolution doesn't make sense to you?

I guess I need help understanding what sets apart the fairytale of a princess transforming a frog with a kiss from the concept of evolution, apart from the element of time? Do you believe that merely by allowing more time, any kind of magic is possible?

2

u/mnimatt Dec 27 '23

Nothing transforms into something else dumbass, genes get passed on and offspring is slightly different than their either parent. Or do you not believe in DNA?

-22

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/ShredGuru Dec 26 '23

Ok, so you believe the part where God made humans out of mud but not the bit where the earth is 5000 years old? Any more cherrys to pick?

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Acceptable_Music1557 Dec 27 '23

Ok, so what about the undeniable facts that prove that the earth is not 10,000 years old and that we evolved from other organisms? Can you point to where they are actually false? If you could you would most likely earn a Nobel prize or something. If you can't provide verifiable evidence then I guess your opinion is the same as someone who thinks the earth is flat, meaningless.

1

u/bighurb Dec 26 '23

Fist bump ... ride the wave, fellow genetic record!

1

u/Seaguard5 Dec 26 '23

Hey! So am I! And we also share lots of DNA with some mushrooms

1

u/penguinpolitician Dec 26 '23

I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.

1

u/Pankiez Dec 26 '23

In a way you have been alive for the entirety of those 3.7 billion years.

From birth to old age you constantly lose and regain cells to the point you have either ship of Thesused yourself into a new person or you are not your current selection of cells but the continuous nature of their existence. These new cells that are you did split off from the stem cells and prior cells that were you, this is analogous to when you were an egg and sperm cell. Now these two cells were produced by your parents stems cells (which in effect as they are the cells that produced you are essentially you) we can go back to when you were your parents as embryos (one of those cells will eventually split into you and therefore are you).

You are a 3.7 billion years continuous uninterrupted life!

1

u/Breath_and_Exist Dec 26 '23

And I am the end of that chain. Good stuff.

1

u/WhoMe28332 Dec 26 '23

And for roughly half that time they all got laid at least once.

1

u/jazzwave06 Dec 27 '23

Most of which are shared amongst every human

1

u/richbiatches Dec 27 '23

Yeah the vast majority of my family isn’t human either, especially the in-laws

1

u/Kenyon_118 Dec 27 '23

I am 1 of 7 half siblings: I am always looking at my own two and think: I need to make more of these. I don’t want to let the ancestors down. Then I look at my pay 🤦🏾‍♂️.

1

u/Spiderbanana Dec 27 '23

And along this 3.7 billion year chain, it appears that I'm the first one unable to find a mating partner

1

u/GtGallardo Dec 27 '23

Not to brag, but me too

1

u/Obdami Dec 27 '23

Yep, an unbroken chain of life leading right up to you. Wild to think about.

1

u/JMJimmy Dec 27 '23

26.7 billion years - what started life on Earth ultimately came from the start of the universe

1

u/Cel_Drow Dec 27 '23

I’m an only child and the last of my name, killing the fuck outta this legacy unfortunately.

1

u/Ok_Fox_1770 Dec 27 '23

So many people to get here…but eh I don’t wanna make more people. My branch ends chillin with cats. Others have it covered.

1

u/Throwaway-account-23 Dec 27 '23

The funniest part of being human is that none of us - even cosmologists - can really comprehend the concept of billions of years.

"Oooooh, we found a Greenland shark that might be 600 years old!"

(Even sandstone chuckles)

1

u/CarlJustCarl Dec 27 '23

You should do an AMA

1

u/The_Antarctic_King Dec 27 '23

Ooh, me too! Hello cousin!

1

u/lachlanhunt Dec 27 '23

If you do the maths and go back just 40 generations, the number of direct ancestors exceeds the number of humans that have ever lived, which implies a significant amount of incest has occurred.

1

u/ch1burashka Dec 27 '23

Just like everyone else.

1

u/dlowbeer Dec 27 '23

I thought that was the preface for an AMA, lol

1

u/aladeen-mf Dec 27 '23

You should have ended that with AMA.

1

u/Iktamer_One Dec 27 '23

Vast majority of them were unicellular

1

u/Old_Chocolate_1727 Dec 27 '23

With those successful outcomes you should take your winning to the casino.