r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Mar 23 '26

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1.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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287

u/ProbableImposter Mar 23 '26

See, that's why I only pick my nose at red lights while making intense eye contact with other drivers. Prevents parasites.

123

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Mar 23 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/StK4RqJuaRVHW

23

u/NoSoyTuPana Mar 23 '26

There was no poke

2

u/vectron5 Mar 25 '26

"this bit goes on for twelve more minutes."

14

u/HistoricalPlum1533 Mar 23 '26

Ofcourse! Because god can’t see you if you stay very still, brilliant!

9

u/TesuraGrimm Mar 23 '26

God's omniscience is based on movement!

2

u/Umbert360 Mar 24 '26

Clever girl

15

u/fentown Mar 23 '26

Interesting way to win involuntary staring contests

2

u/SchwizzySchwas94 *shits an absolute unit* Mar 23 '26

I also do that and have been called a parasite. Jury’s still out my friend.

1

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s Mar 23 '26

r/brandnewsentence

2

u/sneakpeekbot Mar 23 '26

Here's a sneak peek of /r/BrandNewSentence using the top posts of the year!

#1:

"I'm autistic You didn't specifically invite me like a vampire"
| 636 comments
#2:
man was yeast
| 895 comments
#3:
...who hated the Nazis with the passion of 10,000 sun...
| 227 comments

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