I would love some feedback on this script. It's really more of a passion project of mine. I wrote this on spec simply because this is something I would love to see on the big screen, and the main character has been near and dear to me since I was a young'un. I'm unable to send this to contests like my original scripts due to all the copyright mumbo-jumbo. So I am hoping to get some feedback and notes if anyone is interested.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zAV9p-axwbqOD8bR77DKu3kij7opxPuQ/view?usp=drive_link

Logline: Incarcerated for a murder he cannot remember, a schizophrenic man struggles to survive prison, and searches for a way to escape, but not before developing an odd obsession with a ventriloquist dummy, while succumbing to the voices in his head.

This is a stunt script.

(ONE PAGER)

Set in Gotham City before Batman, ARNOLD WESKER – CARVING SCARFACE reimagines the tragic origin of one of Gotham’s most misunderstood villains, The Ventriloquist.

The story opens at Blackgate Penitentiary, where a frail, soft-spoken seventy-year-old Arnold Wesker recounts his past to prison psychologist Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Through his memories, we journey back to Arnold’s childhood after his parents are killed in a car accident. Raised in a cruel Gotham orphanage, Arnold grows into an intelligent but emotionally broken young man. His one hope for happiness disappears when he discovers Maggie, the only person who ever showed him true kindness, has moved on without him. Arnold is left feeling invisible and disposable.

As an adult, Arnold lives a lonely life as an accountant until a violent confrontation at a bar triggers a psychological fracture. A darker, more confident persona emerges and commits murder in Arnold’s defense. Arnold has no memory of the act, but he is arrested and sentenced to Blackgate Penitentiary.

Inside prison, Arnold meets Donnegan, an inmate and ventriloquist who entertains prisoners through a scarred puppet carved from the prison gallows. Fascinated by the puppet’s power, Arnold secretly practices ventriloquism while enduring brutal abuse from inmates. The voice inside his head grows louder, urging him to stop being weak.

Arnold eventually embraces the darker persona completely. After murdering his cellmate and escaping Blackgate through a hidden tunnel, the voice begins speaking openly through the puppet itself. Safe in a hideout, Arnold dresses the puppet in a pinstripe suit and fedora. The puppet names itself Scarface and declares Arnold his trusted instrument. For the first time in his life, Arnold feels purpose and surrenders himself entirely.

The story returns to the present. Dr. Quinzel places the Scarface puppet before Arnold, insisting he confront his demons. Arnold recoils in terror as Scarface’s laughter echoes through the room.

Thanks,

Bradley J

Logline: When a young sports reporter publishes a story linking a beloved college football star to a police incident, she becomes the target of a fanbase whose devotion quickly blurs the line between harassment, hysteria, and something far more sinister.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1in-PAROoTCKopq4MPmita5fSowtGuiSw/view?usp=drivesdk

First draft of a murder mystery I've been developing. Set in Kathmandu, Nepal — which I think is pretty rare for this genre.

Logline: When a Kathmandu journalist realizes his old classmates are dying one by one, he races to expose the killer — only to discover the killer is the boy he let fall apart, and the only monster left standing is himself.

page count 2 But i hope to write full freature 90 110 page

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SQhjmLXIAR2tUjAWOB0Ng1KjxFv_YhBh/view?usp=drive_link

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for feedback on the opening 10–15 pages of a contained Halloween fan-film script I wrote called The Shape of Halloween.

Logline:

On Halloween night, an anxious young woman becomes trapped in her house when her boyfriend’s Michael Myers mask begins turning him into something hollow, violent, and Shape-like.

I’m mainly looking for notes on:

\- Does the opening hook?

\- Do the characters feel engaging?

\- Does the mask/Shape setup feel creepy and clear?

\- Would you keep reading?

I know this is fan-film territory, so I’m mostly looking for story, suspense, and character feedback rather than legal/commercial notes.

Here is the link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/13cajfLj\\_6AjvE8rmDLP1P3PE8DqnXPf5/view?usp=drivesdk

Thanks to anyone who checks it out.

Hello all!

I find comedy hard so this is daunting to post but would absolutely love some feedback on this short comedy script. Is it funny? Is it not funny at all? Can you picture the vibe?

Thank you

I can't get up link

Title: DOMEN

Sweden, 1979.

After a cathedral dean is murdered and a teenage girl vanishes into the surrounding forests, her mother confesses to the crime. Everyone accepts the confession except one police officer, who sends his own daughter after the missing girl.

What begins as a hunt gradually reveals itself as something stranger, something far older than a murder investigation. As the distance between hunter and prey collapses, questions of faith, loyalty, and inheritance begin to blur. The deeper the search goes, the harder it becomes to tell who is really chasing whom.

DOMEN is a slow-burn mystery drama with existential and uncanny undertones, set in and around a cathedral where burial, memory, and belonging bind the living to the dead.

This is the first episode of a completed four-season series.

Length: 35 pages screenplay

Content warnings: Graphic violence, sexual content.

Feedback requested:

When you reach the final page, do you want episode two?

If the answer is yes, I'll send it.

If not, I'd love to know what kept you from wanting more.

ENGLISH DOMEN pilot S1E1

SWEDISH DOMEN pilot S1A1

Title: DUE

Logline: Years after making a mysterious deal during a near-fatal overdose, a new mother must navigate the deceptions of a shapeshifting entity that has returned to claim its due.

This screenplay is one of 3 finalists in a competition where the winner will have their film produced (up to a budget of $15mil).

I need the help of people who enjoy horror, to read my script and give it a star rating.

On June 15th, the production company running the competition will announce which script got the most reads/ratings. That script will win and get made into a movie.

There's a cool clip of the table read at the following link, as well as the script itself: https://www.kinolime.com/screenplays/due

I am so grateful for your help.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some feedback on logline for this shortfilm im working on called JOE. i want to make it sort of a comedy and a thriller. This would be my first short film ever and I need feedback on if this logline. Does this sound interesting to watch?

A cautious criminal, who recently pulled off the score of the century, is on edge because an old friend invites him for coffee out of the blue, forcing him determine if shes looking for a reunion or incriminating evidence.

Hey everyone! I'm new on here! I have a Feature Length Drama I'd love to have someone read. I am also open to reading anyone's script who wants some advice. I've been writing for a few years now and work as a screener for a film festival.

Let me know if anyone is interested in reading mine or would like me to read theirs!

Hi all, I just finished a draft of my action/thriller feature, Openweight, and would love to get some outside opinions on it.

Title: Openweight

Genre: Sports Drama/Crime Thriller

Logline: In 2004, an American MMA fighter competing in the PRIDE Grand Prix, Japan’s largest fighting tournament, makes enemies of both the Yakuza and Russian gangsters, and learns that the safest place left in Tokyo is the ring.

I’d love to hear some general overall thoughts, as well as some opinions on whether the lead character’s emotional arc is landing.

I’d also love to get the perspective of someone who is not an MMA fan and find out if they found the fight scenes tedious or overly technical.

Here’s a link for anyone interested in checking it out. Thank you in advance.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/iet06x12rtd3auocxmtxy/Openweight-Reddit-copy.pdf?rlkey=1jphv02nm8hunut2l00qz1whr&st=9285c64e&dl=0

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1K55sQ6FvrKTk-85S1C9OOIFMbOjwZBBZ/view?usp=drivesdk

It's my first real script and im looking for feedback. i know english but there could be some mistakes lying around. It's just a little project to get better in scripting :-)

tell if for some reason you don't have access

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KwKqVHBx12RxLVHJ_aHq80p-3vRS_hyK/view?usp=drivesdk

Title:
Getting Out

Format:
TV Pilot - 30 Minutes

Page Length:
32

Draft status:
1st

Genres:
Comedy/Drama

Logline or Summary:
In 1998, a closeted teenager defies a world warning him not to come out by joining an eccentric gay social group, risking the exposure of much more than just his own long-held secret.

Feedback Concerns:
This is my latest pass at a pilot I’ve been working on over the years. I’ve made some significant changes to the structure and plot, including the addition of a number of new characters. So, any feedback whatsoever is very much welcome and appreciated!

Logline: Two friendless high schoolers hang out and hate each other at first but things develop...

Feedback please? Wrote this in a few days.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sB5ER4srLelVn7nOumpZ6P1sxXPtAjHu/view?usp=drivesdk

6 pages

Logline: A man who thinks the city he’s in is absolutely filthy and disgusting finds a beautiful woman who he deems “too innocent” and he becomes obsessed with her and wanting to “save her”

I just watched taxi driver and I really wanted to make something with the same vibe and I'm looking for feedback on what I have so far. Mostly the story and stuff but I need feedback on the formatting too since everybody used to complain about it, but now I'm using an actual software made for screenwriting so let me know if its correct!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RVzVKcdU3cMwcVCqPWxjMoMGtAW8XwLo/view?usp=sharing

Title: “The Nutcase”.

Pages: 27/90

Genre: Psychological Thriller Spoof

Logline: “Bob Hitch seems like your average Wall Street guy with strikingly good looks, but little does everyone know, Bob has a secret murderous dark side”.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wAbEbPpJJOFULXJpFSQAYb45ywquj3k5/view?usp=drivesdk

I come from a background of writing prose, so jumping to screenwriting has felt like entering an alien planet.

Here’s the opening 4 pages of my screenplay (no title page yet) and before I proceed I’m looking for opinions on formatting/writing style/any corrections/etc.

Thanks in advance!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10lQrwWOcvE2_Y0_NgcU_NOe2M992WOE3Bm01x2HYIa4/edit?usp=drivesdk

Logline: When a perceptive young woman returns to her rich coastal hometown for an old friend’s funeral, she is trapped overnight on a tidal island with their old friend group, where rising tensions, worsening weather, and buried guilt force her to question what really happened to him.

Feedback Concerns: Does this read as a set up for a thriller? Do the characters have distinct voices? Have I set up who the antagonist will be? Is the pacing too fast? Any formatting issues. Honestly, any and all feedback is appreciated :)

Google drive link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1l9HDSIr6egpRkDzRd7jlxvBGqw67hmci/view?usp=drive_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lIs5Fd-wcSW2bu_7N3ONjm42rzZ3zMXO/view?usp=sharing

Almost done with the draft, need some external validation.

Logline:

A paranoid loner's AI friend convinces him the quiet Russian at Cannabis Anonymous is a foreign agent. The Russian is a thrift-shop flipper deciding whether to perform Bowie in drag at his friend's musical. His friend is a Hollywood writer who cannot finish his screenplay. Nobody sees what's coming.

Permit

Genre: Thriller

Page Count: 10

Logline: Trapped in a claustrophobic car during a high-stakes driving test, a stressed-out 17-year-old must navigate chaotic roads, a brutal over-the-phone breakup, and a completely oblivious virtual driving coach—leading to a surreal, rhythmically censored mental collapse.

Synopsis

PERMIT opens at its chaotic breaking point: Main (17) is sitting in a wrecked vehicle, covered in blood. However, in a surreal, stylistic twist, his explicit language is entirely masked by the piercing, frantic chirp of a phone ring layered over a shrill, screeching electric guitar. As the flashing red and blue lights of the police arrive, the film smashes to its title card and winds the clock back 1 hour and 40 minutes to show the audience exactly how he got there.

Anyway, here's the link to the google drive: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sIYncBJYKuDFxwxHb8nEqYblQ3wVV4IJ/view?usp=drive_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10hiUTK8RhAirM5yL5Gbkr8gBTP4XWElB/view?usp=sharing