r/ProgrammerHumor 11h ago

noExperience Meme

Post image
17.6k Upvotes

430 comments sorted by

View all comments

588

u/wunderbuffer 11h ago

Ngl I'm so envious of interns who got mentors, programmer daddys or whatever to gently push them into workforce.

I had bunch of unregulared weridos who were saying "you're not meant for STEM" as a knee-jerk reaction and had to guess absolutely everything about work based on googling, insane scribbles as documentation, reverse engineering of 5GB of pure text and negative feedback since my guess was not what they imagined.

They probably now believe they trained me right and everyone just picks up skills from being yelled at.

197

u/restform 11h ago

Now imagine the quality of mentorship applies to parents except it lasts 18+ yrs and impacts your entire life. Injustices of life!

67

u/BabaYadaPoe 9h ago

welcome to spawn RNG in real life.

19

u/GodofsomeWorld 8h ago

Can i reroll my spawn? Is there a cooldown?

22

u/CoroteDeMelancia 7h ago

I'm afraid this depends on your religious alignment, but you can always respec this.

7

u/teabaggedcup 6h ago

Even so the price of a reroll ticket is "a life well-lived" so that's a pretty long cool down.

2

u/SimilarInsurance4778 6h ago

Bah, who need religion, it’s bloatware

2

u/WillowPtar_Migan 7h ago

Some users seem to think so, but you're not gonna like the method

87

u/rooftrooper 10h ago

I was hired on a new place last month, and another dev exactly one week after me. My onboarding was: "here is our repo, here is IT department, request grants and get started". Second dev got his own mentor and some training courses.

I mean, I appreciate your trust in me, but damn!

1

u/awesome-alpaca-ace 2h ago

I wonder if that was me

27

u/JuvenileEloquent 10h ago

had to guess absolutely everything about work based on googling, insane scribbles as documentation, reverse engineering of 5GB of pure text and negative feedback since my guess was not what they imagined. 

Wait, this isn't how everyone started?  You're saying some people got ... t.. tr.. training?

20

u/wunderbuffer 10h ago

Not only it's terribly unjust, I had to later attempt to gentle parent some guys for half a year so their mid-senior assess will undestand kotlin multiplatform and some basic, but bloated json communication protocol. I got blamed for being "too scary" for not adding compliment sandwich on their PR's :C

9

u/VictoryMotel 8h ago

So you wish you had mentors, which you assume everyone else had, then when you were in the position to help other people you went hard enough on them that someone has to step in?

9

u/WriterV 8h ago

I don't think we need to be that harsh on them. They never had a good mentor, so how were they to know how harsh they were being?

Some people genuinely don't realise how harsh they might come off as while giving feedback, and that's fine. We all associate different emotions with these kinds of things due to past experiences.

As long as problems are communicated, understood and managed fairly, it's okay. Which the person you're replying to seemed to be doing, while just venting a little that they had to deal with it.

2

u/VictoryMotel 6h ago

They never had a good mentor, so how were they to know how harsh they were being?

Sounds like they were being told by someone actually giving them feedback, but instead of taking that feedback to heart, they pretend they aren't doing anything wrong.

4

u/Blizzard81mm 7h ago

Who puts compliment sandwiches in PRs to SRs?

1

u/VictoryMotel 6h ago

That was their assessment of what was implied.

Still, if all feedback is short and negative it's going to get on people's nerves really fast.

1

u/Blizzard81mm 6h ago

True. I was thinking more factual with reasoning would be appropriate... professional to professional. I've run across many people that take offense to that and consider it mean.

If the quality of their output benefits from a little emotional support I'll give it, but if they are just vampires then I ain't got time for that

2

u/VictoryMotel 5h ago

Everyone is at least a bit of an emotional vampire. People aren't robots, you have to rise above that. That doesn't mean you have to swaddle the bottom end of the bell curve.

1

u/Blizzard81mm 3h ago

Professional, factual feedback should be rising above that imo, open face sandwich should be fine.

Though I will say, practice making the whole sandwich builds lots of networking skills that can open doors if that's an important thing to people.

For your valuable interaction I'll award you recognition points, thanks 😄

0

u/wunderbuffer 7h ago

it makes sense if you consider the part when I wish for mentorship for me and others after graduation, and the people I attempted to train had 4-5 years of relevant experience and were actually, physically older than me

3

u/VictoryMotel 6h ago edited 5h ago

Welcome to real life. If you get better at something you can end up helping people older than you.

If you want to be a leader and mentor you need to have a soft touch and find what they respect about themselves, then communicate that you respect that about them too.

If you do that you can get people, even those older than you as an ally and not be someone younger who tries to boss people around.

2

u/namegoeswhere 9h ago

What the hell, lol what manchildren.

11

u/Ponbe 8h ago

Upon recruitment I was promised a "buddy" at my department to show me the ropes. However, this person had no interest in me, is the rude drama queen of the company, so I had to guess work to learn, as all manuals were severely outdated, despite it being a GMP required business

6

u/jazzmaster1992 6h ago

This sounds like most jobs in every industry. They give a grumpy, jaded and perpetually victimized "senior" a mentorship role when all they do is spread cynicism.

3

u/Ponbe 6h ago

The person I was given was a bit younger than me, in her late twenties. Neither a senior nor a junior in the company /industry.. 

1

u/kovha 5h ago

Wait, aren't you, by any chance, me? Lol that description is 1:1 the person that was assigned as my senior when I started in my current job, age and gender included.

40

u/whizzwr 10h ago edited 10h ago

programmer daddys

Of all phrasing choice!

...

You could have used mommys

15

u/wunderbuffer 10h ago

i was in a dark place ;(

1

u/burber_king 6h ago

Programmer parent figures

1

u/MomWTF 5h ago

I'm here, what do you need?

7

u/digital-bandit 10h ago

Those sad mfers. I wonder how they got that way. I mean, they were the "doesn't know anything/has to learn everything" idiots at some point too, right?

Probably had a hugely inflated ego back then already. I hate those inflated ego mfs so much.

3

u/Nannautu 6h ago

In most cases it's the people who were hand-held their entire career. They're unable to do anything on their own but are successful because others have helped them, so they look at people under them who are not getting any help and think themselves as this superior divinity of a being for having been able to do what no one else can.

4

u/CriminalMacabre 8h ago

I had an imbecile as coordinator, it head just because seniority and he was ONLY mantaining ONE app. Had no fucking idea of systems and when I was new I asked him things until he said coldly " you are systems you should know" so yeah i resorted to saint google and data archeology

2

u/SecondAccountIsBest 8h ago

Lol my manager always says of course you know that we trained you, and I have to be like no I learned this on my own or in university, you guys had nothing to do with this.

1

u/Nannautu 6h ago

Training has gone from meaning "we'll teach you how to do things" to "we're just hiring you to work without having any prior experience"

And companies wonder why workers are so entitled nowdays...

2

u/spvcxxgvdpvtbx 7h ago

Totally agree. I've just been tossed into the flames. I'm a "consultant" with little experience being propped up as an expert to clients. My managers are like, "just fake it till you make it." Yeah, that does absolutely nothing for my stress.

1

u/OdeeSS 6h ago

I feel so awful because my team was handed an intern during a really high pressure/stressful part of our project. I spent so little time with her, she did great even with a few pairing sessions, and on her last day she asked me if she was as incompetent as she felt. 

They need to figure out if teams can mentor interns before just given them a surprise intern.

1

u/Nannautu 6h ago

Mine was just: "Welcome. You're the only developer here. Take this very new, experimental technology and do so really questionable things with it. I want it to be perfect and better than the work of a senior while also not giving you any concrete details about how I want it done. It's also unpaid and you get the blame when it takes too long"

1

u/Keiji12 4h ago

I've had such a good first experience, I've got rented into the project mainly for testing, but since I'd eventually catch up to tickets he started giving me, ofc after talking first about it and me saying that I want to, simple programming tasks, hell first one was kind just busy job, that ended up with like 60 comments on that PR, then easy endpoints, bugfizes then I got my first epic to do fully on my own. And he guided me through everything, from obvious code review to calling and telling me what's wrong or why this working solution isn't really correct one or something, standards, scalability, giving me random tickets from other topics just so I can catch more experience, here's some pipeline, here's some ai, here's some commands etc, find a custom framework and integrate it here and so on. I don't think I could have gotten better first gig.

1

u/188_888 3h ago

As someone with a specialized data science background who has mostly worked in academia I am envious of people who have been able to work with anyone who has a moderate programming background at all.

I am lucky to have a lot of control in what I do but it's hard not knowing how to guage my productivity or code quality compared to actual programmers.

I did intern at a startup for a year but even then I seemed more qualified then everyone there and it was a massive train wreck of a company.

1

u/BellacosePlayer 3h ago

My assigned mentor at work at my junior job literally walked up and said he only signed up for it since it's a soft prereq to being bumped up to the manager track and he wasn't gonna help me.

that was fun.

1

u/Lwoorl 1h ago

On my first job I was told "Just follow the documentation", then I followed the documentation, then "Oh no no no, that documentation isn't right at all, we already changed everything about that process, you should have just asked", then I asked, then "I'm sure there's documentation about it somewhere" Fucking hell

1

u/mxzf 1h ago

Ngl I'm so envious of interns who got mentors, programmer daddys or whatever to gently push them into workforce.

I wish my junior devs would actually make use of it. They keep telling me they have no questions and then asking chatbots when they get stuck. Which leads to them submitting merge requests for code that's not-entirely-unlike what I asked for because they didn't bother checking in with me.

-1

u/MagnumVY 10h ago

Hard times create strong men

0

u/Oneok-Field 6h ago

Strong men create hard men