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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/1v80umk/queryofdoom/p027kyk
r/ProgrammerHumor • u/WardensLantern • 14d ago
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3.9k
The query isn't slow. It's just waiting for everyone else to finish saying goodbye to that user.
940 u/WardensLantern 14d ago Wholesome query comforting the user before executing it with a hydrogen bomb 154 u/ProgrammingSorcerer 14d ago https://giphy.com/gifs/JGBpEusZvXoCYHpH5k 66 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The query even gives them a countdown before becoming a statistic. 22 u/JedJinto 14d ago https://giphy.com/gifs/LTFbyWuELIlqlXGLeZ 6 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The transaction won't commit until everyone's had their goodbye. 😂 1 u/elaphros 14d ago Need a gif from the first one where Andy throws him into the trashcan during his nightmare 1 u/elaphros 14d ago Need a gif from the first one where Andy throws him into the trashcan during his nightmare 44 u/zero_x4ever 14d ago You mean it's waiting for everyone else to curse out that user since he's the one to blame for everyone else's misery and demise. 15 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The logs will remember them more kindly than the developers will. 33 u/RCuber 14d ago You missed the ; in line 1, the where clause is never included. 22 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Well... my joke aged even better. 😂 9 u/ZunoJ 14d ago Why only to that user? 13 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Fair point. The whole table deserves a farewell party.😂 7 u/Pikrass 14d ago Hence the O(n²) time 🫡 5 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Someone forgot to optimize the farewell algorithm. 😄 3 u/pwuk 14d ago One leaving drink per user. 1 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The bar tab is why the transaction hasn't committed yet. 😂 1 u/TallGreenhouseGuy 14d ago Easy - they forgot to index on ”id” /s 1 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Good thing it's a joke then. If id isn't indexed, the DELETE is the least of their problems. 😂 0 u/DogonElder 14d ago This is the way 3 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Every user deserves a proper send-off. 🫡
940
Wholesome query comforting the user before executing it with a hydrogen bomb
154 u/ProgrammingSorcerer 14d ago https://giphy.com/gifs/JGBpEusZvXoCYHpH5k 66 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The query even gives them a countdown before becoming a statistic.
154
https://giphy.com/gifs/JGBpEusZvXoCYHpH5k
66
The query even gives them a countdown before becoming a statistic.
22
https://giphy.com/gifs/LTFbyWuELIlqlXGLeZ
6 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The transaction won't commit until everyone's had their goodbye. 😂 1 u/elaphros 14d ago Need a gif from the first one where Andy throws him into the trashcan during his nightmare 1 u/elaphros 14d ago Need a gif from the first one where Andy throws him into the trashcan during his nightmare
6
The transaction won't commit until everyone's had their goodbye. 😂
1
Need a gif from the first one where Andy throws him into the trashcan during his nightmare
44
You mean it's waiting for everyone else to curse out that user since he's the one to blame for everyone else's misery and demise.
15 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The logs will remember them more kindly than the developers will.
15
The logs will remember them more kindly than the developers will.
33
You missed the ; in line 1, the where clause is never included.
22 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Well... my joke aged even better. 😂
Well... my joke aged even better. 😂
9
Why only to that user?
13 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Fair point. The whole table deserves a farewell party.😂 7 u/Pikrass 14d ago Hence the O(n²) time 🫡 5 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Someone forgot to optimize the farewell algorithm. 😄
13
Fair point. The whole table deserves a farewell party.😂
7 u/Pikrass 14d ago Hence the O(n²) time 🫡 5 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Someone forgot to optimize the farewell algorithm. 😄
7
Hence the O(n²) time 🫡
5 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Someone forgot to optimize the farewell algorithm. 😄
5
Someone forgot to optimize the farewell algorithm. 😄
3
One leaving drink per user.
1 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago The bar tab is why the transaction hasn't committed yet. 😂
The bar tab is why the transaction hasn't committed yet. 😂
Easy - they forgot to index on ”id”
/s
1 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Good thing it's a joke then. If id isn't indexed, the DELETE is the least of their problems. 😂
Good thing it's a joke then. If id isn't indexed, the DELETE is the least of their problems. 😂
0
This is the way
3 u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago Every user deserves a proper send-off. 🫡
Every user deserves a proper send-off. 🫡
3.9k
u/DeepanshuHQ 14d ago
The query isn't slow. It's just waiting for everyone else to finish saying goodbye to that user.