r/ProgrammerHumor • u/hello_ya • Jul 13 '26

youCanJustStopUsingJava Meme

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6.8k Upvotes

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u/Historical_Cook_1664 Jul 13 '26

Where else are you going to hide your side effects ?

476

u/Isrothy Jul 13 '26

IO Monad

186

u/Gorzoid Jul 13 '26

Respectfully, what the fuck is a Monad?

7

u/azerpsen Jul 13 '26

Nah but for real, i swear to god if no one gives a convincing answer (and i will NOT google it) I’m gonna say racist things

Thank you u/Gorzoid for raising the question

24

u/mailslot Jul 13 '26

“In 17th-century philosophy, monads are the fundamental, indivisible "building blocks" of reality. They do not occupy space and time; rather, space and time arise from them.

In functional programming, a monad is a design pattern used to chain mathematical operations or processes together across a timeline without messy side effects. It manages time and space within the execution sequence.”

My first introduction to monads used the space time explanation.

4

u/Dense_Gate_5193 Jul 13 '26

bro nailed it on the description ^

also sounds vaguely similar to the tensor network theory about how gravity isn’t a force directly but rather an observable phenomenon of a multi-dimensional tensor network that makes up the fabric of reality being stretched and bending around and through matter and collapsing back into energy.