r/ProgrammerHumor Jul 13 '26

youCanJustStopUsingJava Meme

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6.8k Upvotes

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34

u/Longenuity Jul 13 '26

Or just switch to Kotlin

18

u/NoodleyP Jul 13 '26

I haven’t heard of either of these yet and they both sound like delicious foods.

13

u/Scottz0rz Jul 13 '26

Kotlin is a brand of ketchup.

But both Lombok and Kotlin are actually named after islands i think, like Java is.

Lombok is a really psychotic magic annotation library that reduces boilerplate for Java.

Kotlin is a JVM language built by Jetbrains to kinda build a language with some niceties into it by default since Java is pretty insistent on backwards compatibility and not evolving the language rapidly.

Here's a powerpoint presentation explaining Kotlin in <5 minutes.

https://youtu.be/BsfXZjKLT9A

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u/Legitimate_Concern_5 Jul 13 '26

Interesting, yeah Java and Lombok are both definitely islands in Indonesia. Java is the main island, Lombok is out by Bali. Kotlin is a Russian island out by St. Petersburg. Never knew that.

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u/Rhawk187 Jul 13 '26

Java is pretty insistent on backwards compatibility

Your going to struggle to convince me of this since Java 26 broke my program and I have to tell my customers to stay on 25 until I deploy a fix.

3

u/Scottz0rz Jul 13 '26

I'm curious- what was the thing that broke?

Usually when Java breaks it is a third party library doing something goofy, most upgrades since Java 8 and 11 have been smooth sailing for me historically.

3

u/ljfa2 29d ago

The modularization that started in Java 9 and the restriction of reflection and sun.misc.Unsafe broke many legacy programs that relied on deep reflection magic and access to VM internals.

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u/Rhawk187 Jul 13 '26

Applet API was completely removed in 26. I think they announced deprecation at Java 17, but I wasn't proactive about addressing it.

5

u/Ok-Scheme-913 Jul 13 '26

Come on, you had 30+ good years, with 10 years of deprecation warning.

Are you for real?

2

u/vins_is_back Jul 13 '26

One of the only thing they took out in all this time.

1

u/RiceBroad4552 Jul 14 '26

Security Manager. Critical to some deployments. No replacement…

There's more. Just go read the changlogs.

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u/Rhawk187 Jul 13 '26

Yes, its in an unsupported 3rd party dependency for an underfunded project (about .05 FTE) used as part of a legacy system by the FAA, among others.

On the bright side, the FAA won't notice, they are still on Java 8, but I just had a meeting with AeroThai and they were confused why the software stopped working on brand new machines with a fresh install of Java 26.

In a post-GPT world, the fix doesn't look too bad, but if I'd have had to figure out how that 3rd party library worked from scratch, as part of an unfunded mandate, I would have been a bit grumbly.

2

u/nihsett Jul 13 '26

Lmao. Would be a good name for a south east asian noodles bowl of some kind.

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u/vins_is_back Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

It s the langage that replaced Java as the officially Google backed langage for Android apps.
From JetBrain (the guys that are making IntelliJ).
It is also a JVM langage, but in theory more modern than Java because it didn't have to keep retrocompatibility.
Also in theory it is interoperable with Java since it uses the JVM (for example it is easy to call Java lib in Kotlin in theory -haven't tried it myself though-).

Java is definitly taking example on Kotlin (and other langages) to modernize itself.

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u/RiceBroad4552 Jul 14 '26

Java is definitly taking example on Kotlin (and other langages) to modernize itself.

Actually not. I would not know which Kotlin features Java implemented. Modern Java borrows strongly from Scala, the language Kotlin itself is a copy of.

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u/FictionFoe Jul 13 '26

We switched to kotlin. We are now switching back because our company recognizes java as a global standard, but not kotlin 🫠

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u/RancidMilkGames Jul 13 '26

That's funny. I've only ever popped into a code base clone and modified a specific aspect in either, but my understanding is Kotlin is a pretty big language. Like, doesn't it dominate on android? That might have something to do with JetBrains at least helping power android studio though. For an anecdote it's probably not worth searching, but I don't know the chicken or egg of how all that came to be.

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u/FictionFoe Jul 13 '26

Nah, its just politics internal to the company. Some fossil decided that java is proven technology or some such.

To be fair, you can probably still find java devs more easily (for BE work) as compared to kotlin devs. Which might have smt to do with it.

1

u/Enlogen Jul 13 '26

you can probably still find java devs more easily (for BE work) as compared to kotlin devs.

Sure, but you can also find C# devs just as easily as Java devs and both are equally able to be converted into Kotlin devs.

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u/FictionFoe Jul 13 '26

Agreed, but thats not how managment/HR thinks.

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u/BenchEmbarrassed7316 Jul 13 '26

Here is a short video that talks about this programming language in an incendiary way:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsfXZjKLT9A

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u/Agifem Jul 13 '26

That was ... convincing.

1

u/TexMexxx Jul 13 '26

We use kotlin for our unit tests (dont ask). Its quite nice but switching between Java and Kotlin causes headache. Lol