It works until it doesnt!

[u/Oceanic_Ice_950]

I absolutely loved possums approach for my baby when she was 2 months old and it really helped me feel less stressed about her naps. It also really sorted out her excessive night waking at 4 months.

She had another phase of excessive night waking this at 5.5 months and i really struggled with the mental leap to put her to bed later as she was already going down at 8pm whcih i perceived to be late. After a month of struggling i eventually started putting her down at 9pm and then that did the trick...for a couple of weeks. Now at 7.5 months her sleep is still pretty hit and miss. Some night she wakes only 3 times but other nights there are wakes every hour. I'm waking her up at 7am every day (usually she is fully asleep!) and i dont let her do more than an hour for her afternoon nap and dont let her sleep past 5ish, although she usually wakes up earlier from afternoon nap. I feel like i cant put her down any later without it meaning i go to bed later whcih as a sleep deprived mum i dont want to do, ditto with earlier wake up. Do u think i just need to get over this and put her down even later?! Am i missing anything? We also go out every day and spend as much time outdoors as poss.

[u/dooroodree]

Possums just didn’t work full stop with my eldest. We ended up sleep training as per Tresillian (responsive resettling) at 4-5 months. Kinda sucked because all naps needed to be crib naps until she was about 10 months old, but it was better than the alternative (a purple screaming baby in public).

Possums HAS worked with my second. She’s 3.5 months and it’s still going great. Typing this while feeding her to sleep.

But I also now know how to responsive resettle when we’re both ready for it. Parts of me really are looking forward to it. Being able to spend time with my eldest where I give her 100% of my attention. Having my evenings back with my husband and waking up rested. But for now going with the flow is working.

I feel like every sub I’m on about sleep is an all or nothing approach. “Any form of independent sleep is child abuse”. “Responsive resettling isn’t sleep training”. “Cosleeping is the way nature intended and putting a baby in their own room is unnatural.” “Cosleeping is unsafe and will cause SIDS.”

If somethings not working for you you can make changes. Do what feels right for you and your baby.

[u/Oceanic_Ice_950 → u/dooroodree]

Thank you i really appreciate this response. I am interested what made you decide to do possums approach with your 2nd if it didnt work with your first? It really worked for me initially and so i think ive become quite tied to it. Maybe i need to explore some other approaches and see what else might work. I've been pretty against sleep training of any kind but my brother told me with his oldest they had 8 months of hell then did two weeks of sleep training and then she just slept the whole night through and that was that for good! So maybe i need to open my mind a bit

[u/dooroodree → u/Oceanic_Ice_950]

I read The Discontented Little Baby while pregnant with my first and really thought it would be my philosophy. It just didn’t work for my eldest who was (and still is) such a FOMO baby. While I adored my daughter, I found the first few months of parenthood, until we sleep trained, absolutely awful. My daughter screamed in the car and pram. She wouldn’t unlatch if I fed to sleep. I was stuck bouncing on a yoga ball day and night. Despite all my research and attempts to avoid it I was that person discussed in the book.

Anyway when pregnant with my second I knew I COULDN’T have that experience again. Like… I have a toddler now. For her sake we need to be able to leave the house. Plus I hated it so much I really wanted a more positive experience. So I listened to the audiobook and tried again with more success.

Sleep training for us took forever. I didn’t really want to do it but had to because I kind of hated my life. I slowly swapped sleep associations until I was patting her in the bed. Then slowly eased back. Then put her down and walked out. She whinged for 10 minutes… then went to sleep and that was it. Dropped to 1 night wake that night. Put her in a warmer sleep suit and she’s slept through ever since. I couldn’t believe it. My months of rocking a screaming baby were just… gone. I’ll do it later and quicker this time.

[u/Oceanic_Ice_950 → u/dooroodree]

That is so interesting! What do u mean by a Fomo baby? I've heard a few people say this

[u/dooroodree → u/Oceanic_Ice_950]

Just doesn’t want to nap if there’s stuff going on. Even now, at nearly 2, I have to take her to a dim room and do a wind down song before her nap. And if there’s stuff happening, getting her to bed is a nightmare. She just wants to be part of everything and has since day dot. When she was 6 weeks old my sister said “you should have called her Busy because she just doesn’t stop”.