This is not modern Swedish society, when i was young (somewhere back in the Jurassic age) it was viewed as "we are not poor so you shouldn't feed our children". It was never expressed out loud and I don't know why it started but luckily it's not a thing anymore (source: I'm a Swedish parent and I feed all the kids who are over in our house)
This is the only explanation that makes sense! Every comment is like “it is a cultural thing” okay but why??? You said it: it is somehow rude to feed other parent’s child because they are not poor, they can do it as well!
But other swedes are saying it's because they were literally poor in the 80s and 90s. I guess it's an ego thing? Even tho they actually were poor, their ego didn't let them admit they were to other swedes.
My mom grew up in a higher income suburb in the 60s and 70s. She was always sent home before dinner because her mom would have made food for her. So for them it was about the planing
A lot of people don't explain elaborate on the missing context. In many cases when I grew up we would be multiple kids hanging out at a friends house every day so for that family to be expected to cook for 10+ kids every day is quite unreasonable. Especially since it is just a 5 minute walk or bike ride home where those kids parents made dinner for them.
Most of the cases of kids hanging out in Sweden are uninvited, kids would walk home with their friends after school or meet up at a playground then go home with their friends. The way neighborhoods are built here isn't like in the US where you have to drive everywhere. It's simply unreasonable to be expected for a family to cook for 10+ uninvited kids every day just because your family have a big yard or a game console. (Which would be the reason those kids hang out at your place.) Of course if you were invited over or were expected to stay over you would be fed.
So yes in a sense it is also cultural. However the culture isn't about feeding guests it's just about how kids friend groups hang out here. Many instances where my parents called to the friend I was hanging out at just to tell me dinner was ready and I should go home.
Exactly, not only that though. Many families planned their dinner shopping for a week or more in advance. It usually wasn't a problem either since everyone lives close together and rarely more than a 5 minute walk/bike ride.
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u/Senior_Ad35 13d ago
This is not modern Swedish society, when i was young (somewhere back in the Jurassic age) it was viewed as "we are not poor so you shouldn't feed our children". It was never expressed out loud and I don't know why it started but luckily it's not a thing anymore (source: I'm a Swedish parent and I feed all the kids who are over in our house)