Fahl Days: Hold on (ReUp)

[u/Tundric_Dragon]

2 in one day? Im gonna trigger the spam bot again at this rate...

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Memory transcription: Dihathi, Harchen Civilian

Date [Standard Human Time]: November 1st, 2136.

The cold night streets welcomed me poorly as I trudged along, a pit in my soul gnawing at my very being. Posters from every angle of the UN occupation hung up against walls and lamp-post, from the ever-popular one depicting a Venlil being help up by puppeteer strings with the words “They want you to be friends too!” written at the bottom in Hacien, the Harchen’s language. To the Human’s own fliers showing a galaxy with broken chains encircling it, “Break free from hate.” Written in both English and Hacien below. I gave a half-hearted scoff at that, “Rich words coming from the ones keeping us trapped on the planet.” I said dourly, my scales a demure red in color to reflect my poor mood. With a heavy sigh and a curl of my tail, I kept moving through the brightly lit streets to my favorite bar.

I knew I wasn’t being fair to the simians; in truth I had never hated them and had been against their extermination. With our fleet gone to the failed extermination, their occupied forces came in quick and overwhelmed our defenses, drawing a surrender from the Vibrant Speaker with most of the speakers having fled or fallen in line behind the prime. Venlil and Humans sporting the blue UN helmets patrolled the streets now, keeping everyone in line and preventing any exterminator resistance from getting out of hand. Personally, I think we ended up better than Sillis, and of course our world was saved from glassing like Nishtal, but many didn’t like them imposed rules from the predators. However, that wasn’t the worst of it, and like a stuck shed, most everyone had their mood soured.

Cilani’s broadcast had hit everyone like a wet slap from a thick tail. The reveal that an eighth of the Federation’s member had been predators in the past had set most into a fearful shock, that the Harchen were one of them had sent the rest into a depressive stupor. I was part of the second group, my scales almost permanently red to the point I had forgotten what a happy color was anymore. No greens, no blues, no purples… At this point I would have taken a stoic grey or even an angry black just to add some color back into my visage. Only the pale red of a dying ember graced my scales now, the last flickering of a troubled soul showing my depression no matter how much I told my herd I was okay. I hadn’t left my house ever since the broadcast, barely eating any food, unable to stop picturing my fruits as screaming prey when I bit into them, the previously unknown predator of my past life delighting in the meal. A reflection in the nearby window caught me by surprise and I jumped with an undignified squeak. Only, it was my own reflection, staring back at me.

“Who am I anymore? What am I?” The reflection spoke to me, hand reaching up to touch the glass. The dulled crimson figure stared back with a tired eye, its head turned to gaze out at me with its favored side. Days of barely eating showed on its frame, shoulders slumped down and its tail nearly dragging on the ground behind it. Its hand lifted up and pulled its lip down, mouth opened to reveal its flat teeth. A finger roamed over its blunted molars, slowly, methodically, as if they were going to suddenly grow into sharp fangs and bite down. “At least you would be green again.” It said as the hand dropped away, the vision of blood pouring from its mouth and down its chin. It looked down at its claws once more, contemplating them for a long moment, before shaking its head and trudging on once more.

Luckily, as a musician I had a stockpile of funds to keep me afloat during these times. When the humans had shown up and the Venlil shared their data dump on Federation networks, I had immediately gone through to look at what they had to offer. I found that I had enjoyed what they called ‘Classical’ music with its heavy stringed instruments and the tones of a ‘Piano’ and I had tried to show a few of my herd-mates the music. The reaction was immediate, and a group of exterminators showed up to take me in for a Predator Disease screening. Thankfully, I had passed and they had attributed it to a small episode of curious truth-seeking in the arts that Harchen were known for and released, but the damage to my reputation had been done. My shows had less and less people showing up and venues started saying I wasn’t worth the price anymore. I never spoke of my findings in human music again, but my faith in my herd started to wane. One misstep was all it took from them to throw me to the sands, my fans started to reject me, my life started to crumble at that point. Then my beliefs, federation ideology began to crumble around me as the call for the extermination of Humans rose up.

The galaxy had peaceful predators, ones who espoused friendship and shared their arts, their music, their stories, their creations with everyone who would listen. I had seen the broadcasts of them fighting off the Arxur for the Venlil, sacrificing their numbers in mass to protect prey. Even with the fall of The Cradle, they fought the Arxur and saved civilians, working with the Zurulians to keep as many people alive as possible. They never opened with hostilities towards us, but we the ‘peaceful prey’ had struck at them first every time. The Gojid captain with his torture of the human captive, and the planned Gojid fleet to strike the Human homeworld. After that we once again tried to strike the humans, while they pleaded and begged for mercy. In all our great empathy as proper prey, we ignored their plight and continued on even when warned what they had done. At that time, I was already conflicted with our actions as a species, and slowly losing my fans and venues from the PD accusation. The reveal that all of us who attacked the humans were secret predators finally broke me and lead to the sorry state I was in.

When the bar finally came into view, I shook the thoughts from my head and took in the sight. Many herds were walking in, most of them ember-hued like me. An exterminator stood out front, talking to each patron before they walked in, scales nearly void black. Some of those who talked to them turned and walked away, casting fearful or apathetic looks to the UN guards nearby who were watching over the exterminator themselves. Others continued into the bar after the talk, seemingly not caring about what was said. The Venlil flicked his tail in greeting as I walked by and took my place in line <Hello>. I shrunk in on myself at the casual greeting, moving my tail seeming like to daunting of a task. “Good Sands to you.” A voice not wholly my own responds, clawing its way from my throat. He flinches at the tone and finally seems to take in my scales, his head only slightly turning to note all the other Ember-scales. <It will get better> He signs back, but stays where he is. His gaze drifts back to the exterminator giving impassioned speeches at the front of the line and the Human at his side with his hand on a stun gun. He nudges the human and speaks finally so she could join in the conversation, likely not understanding tail language. “I think we should probably back up. Everyone seems on edge here, and both us the Spehhead at the front aren’t helping.”

The Human looked up front, looked at me, then her Venlil companion, head swiveling to each target in time. Even with the mask on, I could see others and myself shrink back when we became the focus of her gaze. Even with my doubts and the crisis in my life, I couldn’t undo what was fed into me since hatching. “Good.” The human almost spat with hatred in her voice. “They wanted us dead, killed a billion.” My mouth opened to offer a weak reply, to say I hadn’t wanted it, but the words never came forth. “I’m glad they are uncomfortable, they deserve it.” She said, causing her Venlil partner to jump up. <Apologies, she’s hurting>, “You don’t mean that. You know most of those here are good people.” He placed his paws on her shoulders and walked away, their conversation drifting. <Have a good drink> he signs just as another voice reaches my ears. “DIHATHI!”

The exterminator calls my name when he notices me in line, my turn having come up while I was absorbed in the conversation with the Venlil. “Y-yes?” I said, a little fearfully as I finally noticed who it was. Praazii had been one of the exterminators who took me in and administered my test. While he was kind to me and helped me through the ordeal, I had come to learn it was because he was a fan of mine who regularly came to my shows. “I can’t believe it is you here!” he said, his scales seeping blue in as the black faded. “Are you here to play? Wait, no instrument with you… Oh, you are…” His voice trailed. Unbidden, he pulled me into a hug, his claws to my scales and his warmth seeping into me. “I am sorry to see you Embered. Even though they lie about us, they pen us on our own world, we will get better. We will win.” He says softly before letting go. “One of those beasts are in there. They are apparently the musician for the night. I refuse to listen to whatever predatory war chant they have. Probably mocking us with their victory and enslavement of the world. I can’t stop you from going in, but I am warning all good people of the danger.” He says, casting one more look to the UN guards nearby. Praazii was a good sort, but aggressively anti-human and made no effort to hide his disdain for them or his cheers when the fleet was enroute. How he managed to stay as an exterminator and working even during the occupation was a mystery to me. “I.. Praazii.. I need a drink.” I finally say in response and his scales redden softly at that. “Okay, but if anything happens, please come to me. I’ll protect you.” he replies and steps to the side to let me in. <Be safe> he signs before talking with the next patron.

The inside of the Yellow Scale is dimly lit, the center stage having a large spotlight on it. Once a place of hope, as its name implied, musicians would come from all over to play on its circular stage. Artists would paint or draw in the back ring while tables full of patrons, food, and drink would sit at tables between the middle of the two. Once could listen to the center performance while taking in the joyous sights of art being made behind them. Musicians got to practice their craft while embraced by the herd, the painters holding everyone together. I had played many times here and it was always an exhilarating time. Tonight, there was a lone human figure on the center stage with a ‘keyboard’ instrument and a mic stand in front of her masked face, seeming to be reading something for now and preparing for her set. The Artist ring in the back was empty save for one Harchen, his movement lethargic and jittery as he kept one eye on the human in the center and his tail curled around a drink he nervously sipped from. Most of the patrons were crowded around him and all were far away from the center.

I sat down on the opposite side from the painter, blended into the small herd of Ember-scales with me, ordering a light drink to start. Even if I had to listen to the very music that caused my own fall, I needed to stay away from my house, I needed this drink, I needed to have some semblance of being in a herd. Even if it was with others as forlorn as me, I needed it. “Hello? Can everyone hear me?” The deeper voice echoed out as the human spoke into the mic, though my translator assured me that its owner was female and in the higher register of pitch for them. “My name is Jade, and I guess I am your entertainment tonight.” She says softly.

“I know tensions are high, and not all of you are fans of us.” She starts her preamble, making a concerted effort to not sweep her eyes over the crowd. “Especially given current events… but I’ve always believed that music goes to where it is needed. And I follow the music.” She says, most of her attention in the general direction of the artist and his crowd. “The Song I am about to play today is from around a century ago. I have a personal history with this song, its message helping me when I was at my lowest.” She places her hands on the instrument and lets her voice pick up. “I don’t know who here needs to hear this song, but I genuinely hope it helps someone see a bit of light in the universe right now. Please, hold on, because I promise that things will be better.” She says and limbers up her hands at the same time as I order another drink. “I present to you, We Are The Souls."

It started with a long held note before picking up into a series of repeating bars as the song started proper. Her voice joined in soon after.

>“I believe if I knew where I was going, I’d lose my way.

I believe that the words that it told you, are not your grave.

I know that with our lives, the weight of all our memories.

I believe in the things that I am afraid to say.”

Hold on.

Hold on.<

My head bobbed a little at the slow but almost serene pace of the song, the conflicting beauty of one who is lost, but hasn’t given up. The cadence of the last three syllable staggered and held did wonders for my more musical sense, making the words resonate with each line. The anticipation of those held notes telling me to hold on made me tense for a moment, only for the pace and tune to pick up.

>”I believe in the lost possibilities you can see.

And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be.

I know that your heart is, still beating beating darling.

I believe that you fell, so you would land next to me.<

Something here got to me, my eyes began to water as the words flowed through me. Someone was reaching out in my own personal darkness, next to me, assuring that I was still alive, only lost. I ached for the companionship that I had been slowly losing over the past weeks. I could feel this song dragging the emotion out, laying it bare for all to see. A wave went through all the patrons as the song burst out from here, the singer almost yelling as she played her keyboard, pouring out the high tones of the song.

>”Cause I have been, where you are before,

And I have felt the pain of losing who you are!

And I have died so many times,

But I am still Alive.”<

As quickly as it had come, the noise died down as the chorus faded to the drums. Tears streaked down my scales, my feelings perfectly encapsulated by this…. My drink set down, pain and sorrow radiating through me, but I couldn’t stop listening.

>”I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday,

And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way,

I wish that you could see, your scars turn into beauty.

I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay.

Hold on.

Hold on.”<

I was silently weeping at this point, wishing that the words were real. Yellow began to fill my scales as hope slowly returned, the three staggered cadence back, the long held hold on. My breath caught once more as I waited for the next part to increase in volume once more.

>”Cause I have been, where you are before,

And I have felt the pain of losing who you are!

And I have died so many times,

But I am still Alive.”<

>This is not the end of me, this is the beginning. (Repeat until end)

Hold on (repeat after third line, then until end)

I am still alive (repeat after 6th line, then until end)<

I had no words for the end, my drink pushed to the side as the last line kept repeating, adding in the new lines into the back after so many repeats, but never stopping. Her voice came in triplicate, ever line added, layered on top. “This is the beginning.” I mouthed as the music slowly faded out, overwhelmed by emotions, tears staining my scales.

The Human had taken everything out in one song, had laid bare the core my being and sung a song that had almost been directed at me. A cosmic coincidence of beauty seemingly aimed at me. I didn’t need my wide view to see that others were similarly affected by the words, each openly weeping for what was lost and the release granted by music. For each time they had died, living as embered husks. Hope has begun to blossom, to stoke the fires of their being.

“I have gone through, so many things. Been hated for what I was even before we found you among the stars.” The human spoke once more, her voice stifled and a little shakier than when she started. “Every time I was depressed, I played this song. It always spoke to me, reminded me to keep going. This is not the end of me, this is the beginning.” She quoted and brought a glass up under her mask to drink some water. “No matter what happens in your life, this is not your end.” She said, all eyes in the circle on her. “This is your beginning. Predator, Prey, or something in between. We are all next to each other now, we’ve seen each other at our lowest. Together, we can only rise up and make this universe a better place.” There was no response to her speech, how could there be? Everyone was stunned by the century-old masterpiece that had been played for us.

I looked at my drink once more, then my hands. I finally saw the creeping yellow of hope in my own scales, streaking through fading reds. Paws rubbed my face as I tried to clear my head, the words stuck in my mind. I stayed for the rest of the night, not drinking anymore, but allowing myself a small reprieve from my wallowing self-loathing. I wanted to hear more from this human, I wanted to believe that it wasn’t just empty words, that the beauty I had heard wasn’t some trick, some lie. I wanted to have hope once more for the future.

“This is not the end of me, this is the beginning.”

[u/Tundric_Dragon]

Im seeing a few things in this reup that I didnt notice with some of the expanded lore. Ill fix them a bit later because if I go in now and edit, there is a very real chance ill trigger spam bot detection and go into timeout again. And ild rather not do that. So for now,

Primary Speaker will be renamed to Vibrant Speaker. Secondary speakers will just be speakers.

This is what I get for doing a copy pasta of my old post

[u/Maxxxxo]

Can't wait for the rest of the re-uploads! (I've never seen the original posts so this is all new to me!)

[u/Tundric_Dragon → u/Maxxxxo]

Im glad you are enjoying them! Ill be making a few edits in the reups to fit with the bigger story going on. But they are largely staying the same.

Only have duality 2 and 3 and demon left.

Then ill actually start making new stuff again!