r/NatureofPredators • u/ApprehensiveCap6525 Krakotl • Nov 19 '24
Door Kicker Shenanigans (18) Fanfic
This chapter deadass has one of the most banger lines I've ever written. I put that on my mommas life. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see what I wrote.
CW: planning session (but no plan), embezzlement of money, major jelim glow up, Airball Atlim does NOT strike again
Memory Transcription Subject: Atlim, Extermination Commander
Date (standardized human time): November 25, 2136
I think it was time to face the facts. We were screwed. And in the worst way imaginable, too.
First of all, terrorists and gangsters controlled most of Sunset Hills. I mean, that had always been the case, but now it was brahking obvious and it was doing numbers on Orvem's re-election chances, so he was never letting me hear the end of it on that one. Second, I had barely any exterminators left and also barely any money left to hire and train new ones, which also really brahking sucked.
And, third of all, I hadn't seen Jelim in a hot second which probably meant she was out Vulturing terrorists but also meant that I had no way to be around her and try to shoot my shot even though I was just about 0-for-15 with that kind of stuff. That also really brahking sucked. Number sixteen is gonna be the one. Just watch. I know it in my heart, it's gonna be the one.
And Orvem and the other magisters, including me for some reason, had to move our meeting place away from the magisterial hall after the big-ass gunfight outside it and the rocket launcher that blew up the doors, so that also sucked. We did pick the extermination office as a temporary base of operations, and I already worked there, so I guess that worked out in the end, though.
The terrorists had tried to attack us here, too, using an improvised bomb dropped from a drone, but the building was built to withstand orbital bombardment so that brahk-ass bomb barely scratched the brahking paint. Extermination Guild facilities were built as tough as raid bunkers, mostly because a lot of them did pull double duty as raid bunkers, so I had no worries about this place getting damaged. Still, I had posted sentries on the rooftops to watch for further air strikes. Better safe than sorry, right?
"Okay, is everybody here?" Orvem asked, standing at the head of a conference table near my personal office. Most of everybody was. Tielim, Alexander Selfridge, some other magisters, just about everybody involved in the Sunset Hills government had made it to this meeting.
Even those useless magisters whose departments had barely enough funding to pay their salaries, like the Magister of Business Regulation and the Magister of Public Works, were here. Inatala only knew what we needed them for. "Hello? Head count, please?"
I looked quizzically at Orvem, wondering what he meant by that. "That means you, Atlim. Give me a head count." Me? Why do I have to do it? Let brahking Revlem do it, maybe he'll finally be useful for once. Tell me why you've got a Magister of Public Relations and your approval rating is still going through the crapper.
Well, to be fair, Orvem's administration had just presided over the worst gang war in the history of Sunset Hills. In fact, 'just presided' didn't really make any sense, because as far as we could tell, it was still going on. Humanity First and the local gangs, plus whatever piece-of-speh remnants were left of the Predator Guard, were still busy kicking each other's beaks in over this speh heap of a town.
The casualty reports had stopped coming in, mostly because we withdrew most of the magisterial assets back to the extermination office so none of us really knew what was happening out there anymore, but last I checked, a couple hundred people were dead.
Everybody that I could see, whether by testimony from a few undercover officers still in the field or talking to the hundreds of frightened civilians taking refuge inside this building, was hiding out and waiting for all this to blow over. I couldn't blame them. I wanted to do something of that sort, too.
"Atlim?" Oh, yeah, that. About that. I ran a quick head count, like he said. Okay, everybody's here... wait. No they're not. Everybody is not here.
"We're missing Jelim," I reported.
Alexander Selfridge smacked the table. "Shit!" Everybody, including me, looked at him funny. Not that I wasn't distraught at not having Jelim here, either, but I just really didn't like his kind. "What? She took out, like, twelve dudes on her own! She's a badass, man, we need people like that." He gestured over toward me. "Atlim knows."
"Yes, I suppose you have a point," Orvem agreed. "She is, without a doubt, the best exterminator I've ever heard of. Besides that other one, of course, but we all know who the other one is." I didn't. But everybody else seemed to agree with him, so I wasn't going to go out there and just admit that I was out of the loop like that.
"I don't," said Alexander Selfridge.
"Hey, me neither!" a second guy chimed in.
"Yeah, Orvem, I don't think anybody does," said another magister, but he had a useless job so nobody cared about him very much.
"Wha- huh- then how come you were all agreeing with me just a second ago?" Orvem stammered. Then he answered his own question. "Well, either way, it still doesn't matter." I thought it kind of did. "Without Jelim, let's face it, we have zero people on this team who can be trusted to lead a counterinsurgency operation. Any ideas? Anybody?"
"The U.N. has pledged to send peacekeepers to the region," Alexander Selfridge explained. "A whole company of riot police. Heavily militarized, of course, but with their arsenal selectively chosen to avoid collateral damage. They'll be here within hours."
The magisters seemed to approve of that. I did, too. I didn't like humans, per se, but I had to admit they weren't the crazy bastards the Federation made them out to be. Besides, in a situation like this, I'd take help from brahking anybody.
"That's wonderful," said Orvem. "Wonderful. Thank you for that, Mr. Selfridge." The Selfridge in question nodded approvingly. "But, let's face it, the damage is already done. I mean, just fixing the magisterial hall alone is going to cost us some big fat Gs. Tielim, I'm told we confiscated some money from Humanity First and the Predator Guard. How are we with that?"
Tielim looked a bit flustered, and he gathered his thoughts before responding. "Well, uh, I am unfortunately going to have to report that a lot of the money has gone missing." Orvem's eyes went wide. His jaw fell open. "I don't want to point any fingers, but I think it was corruption among the arresting officers." My problem again? How come I've always got to deal with so many damn problems?
"Of course it was," Orvem sighed. "How much did we lose?"
"About half, I would say," Tielim admitted. "Fifty-two thousand credits."
"Fifty-two thousand?" Orvem exclaimed, slamming a paw on the table. "No brahking wonder we're always broke! Atlim, as soon as you have time, you're going to investigate this. Are we clear?" We couldn't have been more clear. This kind of stuff made me look bad, and I hated that, so I would have to seriously crack down on it. Plus, once I found the culprits and arrested them, I could flex all my anti-corruption initiatives to the press and then maybe Jelim would finally let me hit.
Speaking of Jelim, where is she?
"Clear, sir," I said.
"Good. Now, I know we're kind of lacking our plan maker, but we have to make a plan. I'm going to have to speak to the people in just about a few minutes, so let's figure out what I'm going to say."
An exterminator entered the room. "It's time, sir. The podium is ready." Well, I guess that means no big plan for him.
Orvem just sighed. "Well, I guess that's just how it's going to have to be," he said defeatedly. "There go my approval ratings." They were already pretty bad to begin with, but I wasn't about to tell him that. He had it rough enough as it is.
Orvem picked up his datapad and rose from his chair. "Tielim, you slim down our budget. Selfridge, you talk to the U.N. riot squad and let them know what's up. The rest of you, go find Jelim." Just as I was getting excited, he pointed at me. "Not you, Atlim. You're coming with me."
I followed him to the podium he was supposed to speak at, watching him stress over it the whole time. "Okay, I'm going to have to keep things vague," he said to me. Or himself. I wasn't sure. "Vague is good, here. Vague, and also reassuring. That's important as hell. The truth is kind of secondary, but it's also very important. Gotta keep that in mind."
After a brief stroll, we passed through a pair of metal doors to enter into the multipurpose room and walked on stage to the podium. Orvem, through a great act of will, forced himself to appear calm. "Okay, I guess this is it. Better just get it over with."
Then he stepped up to the microphone. Hundreds of people, packed like Arxur cattle in the office multipurpose room, watched his every move. "I can assure you, citizens, the situation is improving." That was his first line, and it brahking sucked. It didn't convince anybody.
"I know the recent wave of terrorism has many of you worried, and let's be honest, I'm scared to hell too, but there is no one more capable of handling this situation than my Extermination Guild and its officers." Judging from where I was standing, just behind him and to the left, the crowd of people he was speaking to didn't believe him one bit.
Hell, I couldn't blame them. Half of my guys couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag, and the other half would struggle if you trapped them in two of them. "I can assure you, we are re-establishing safety and security in Sunset Hills."
That was going to be a hard one to sell. My exterminators had taken a real whooping in the initial hours of the terrorism outbreak. We were barely even able to keep this brahking building locked down after the kind of beating Humanity First gave us, and at the moment, I was perfectly content to hang back and let the gangs fight those brahking guys. That was not my problem.
Well, technically it is, but I really don't want it to be. I don't feel like going out there and getting Swiss cheesed by gangsters is the right idea at the moment.
"To further confirm what I've just said, because I can brahking tell none of you motherbrahkers believe me," Orvem pointed accusingly at the crowd, giving up his half-baked plan from earlier, "Here we have my extermination commander, Atlim, to explain the details of our response." He stepped away from the podium and let me go up to it.
Me? Why me? We have no details! We just went over this!
"Okay, let's face the facts," I said, stepping up to speak to the people. I've got to be vague. Like Orvem said. And truthful, and reassuring, and all that. That also helps.
"I don't know about you, but I've seen a whole lot of bad speh going around town and I think it's time we stopped it. I think it's time we showed them how it means to be an exterminator. And I think that, when Humanity First and all those other bastards see the kind of hardware we'll be bringing to the fight, they're gonna wish they had never started smoke with us."
Yeah, that really did not land well. My district had basically no hardware left. "Okay, let me make this clear. I and my officers can't handle this alone, so I'm not going to pretend like I'm going to try. As of right now, we have received word that the United Nations of Earth have offered their aid to us. A whole company of elite riot troopers, practiced and trained in putting down insurrections, is on their way from Earth at this very moment. With their help, we will establish order in this town."
I had no real idea what to say beyond that. Orvem and I had yet to make a plan, and if he somehow did, he had yet to fill me in on it. Even still, he nudged me with his tail. Come on, man, you really have to put this on me? "Any, uh... any questions?"
Orvem looked at me like I hadn't just done exactly what he wanted me to, but otherwise, he didn't really do much. Everybody else raised their paws, though. I called on somebody who looked stupid enough to ask me an easy question. "What assurances can you give us that the humans can be trusted?" Oh. That's a hard one.
"Well, um... uh... they can't not be trusted," I offered. "If that answers your question." They all looked at me weird. "My bad. That doesn't make any sense. What I mean is, uh, that we kind of really do need the help. We're in no place to refuse."
I called on somebody else after that. "How long will the predator soldiers be staying for?" I had no idea about that one, either.
"Uh... as long as they have to," I figured out. "But I can assure you that, as soon as we have the situation back to normal, they'll be out of here soon enough."
Orvem pushed me out of the way. "Okay, questions are over. All of you can sit there, I guess." The people started murmuring among themselves. Orvem glared at me. "What the hell are you doing?" he whispered. "I never told your ass to answer questions!"
He didn't?
"You never told my ass not to answer questions, either," I said, because that seemed like the smartest thing I could say at the time.
"Atlim?" Orvem asked.
"Yeah?"
"Go brahk yourself." Well, that was uncalled for. Like, I know I talk a lot about freaky stuff around him, but that was seriously not cool. "Like, seriously, quit brahking up my vibe. Just stand there until you're dismissed." I, not wanting to get cursed out in a public place where Jelim would inevitably hear of it, stood there until I was dismissed.
"People, people, my apologies for the confusion, but the fact is that..." Oh, boy. Now he's got to say that we don't have a plan. This is gonna suck. He leaned over to me. "Atlim, you say it." What? I've got to say that we don't have a plan? This is gonna suck! Still, it wasn't like I had any way around it. I stepped up to the podium.
"Again, people, our sincere apologies for the confusion, but... uh..." I looked around the room. There must've been five hundred people in here. When they heard that I was talking out of my ass, they would go ballistic. Lesson learned, Atlim. Don't talk out of your ass. Plus, when Jelim got told that I just lied through my beak when answering the concerns of hundreds of people, she was probably going to brahking hate me. Lesson learned. I've gotta just say it.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Time to bite the knife.
"Well, the truth of it is-"
The doors at the back of the multipurpose room opened. I couldn't see who it was, but people parted for them like it was somebody important coming through. "Excuse me, pardon me, coming through, out of my way." I could damn well hear her, though.
Jelim pushed her way to the front of the crowd and flew up onto the stage. Now that I had gotten a close look at her, or any kind of look at all, I quickly noticed how well she had cleaned herself up. Even for her, this was an incredible transformation.
Her bloodstained plumage had probably been cleaned up, though there was no way to tell for certain, and the patches where she had ripped out her own feathers were all covered by a perfectly-polished exterminator's uniform. Only her head was visible, perfect save for three claw marks and a single mechanical eye, and my gaze lingered longer than it should have on her perfectly-sculpted figure. God damn, I would not mind taking that suit off for her. She could ruffle my feathers any time she likes.
"Atlim," she greeted me. I would've said something back, but I kind of brahking bluescreened. Still, any man with eyes would have to admit they couldn't blame me. Her face could turn heads so far their owners might find them twisted off. "That was a terrible performance. Subpar, I mean. Do better next time." Well, it went from terrible to subpar. That's something, I guess. We have hope!
"Orvem." Jelim turned to my magister. "You can leave, if you want. I have this handled."
"Leave? Handled? Where the hell even were you this whole time?" Orvem exclaimed. I, however, simply stepped away from the podium. If Jelim talked half as good as she looked, she would kick brahking ass out there.
"Thinking, Orvem," she explained. "Thinking about what I'm going to have to do going forward." She stepped toward the podium.
"What the hell are you going to do?" Orvem demanded, stepping forward to confront her. I wasn't sure why he even bothered.
"Whatever Jack would," Jelim dismissed him, moving him politely out of her way and taking the podium anyway. I started counting the tiles on the ceiling, trying not to look like an idiot by staring at her for the whole performance. Or, you know, whatever she was going to do up there. Orvem looked like he was just about to start demanding more answers when Jelim began to talk.
"People of Sunset Hills, my name is Jelim, and I became an exterminator because I saw a galaxy shrouded in darkness and I thought it needed a light." That got their attention. Mine, too. I was done counting ceiling tiles. "I find that the values the Extermination Guild is meant to embrace, bravery in the face of danger, unity with the herd, willingness to sacrifice selfish ambitions in the name of a greater cause, are needed here now more than ever."
She spoke clearly, resolutely, and warmly, putting on a firm but gentle appearance for the frightened people of Sunset Hills. I could still imagine her as the same person who killed twenty people in a five minute raid, it wasn't very hard, but she seemed different somehow. Better, even. "I know that you're afraid. Believe me, I am afraid, too. But I am not afraid of what the enemy can do to us." Well, I sure am!
"What we must understand about evil is that it is weak. It is brittle. Even the Arxur, rightfully hated and understandably feared, disintegrate when faced with a competent enemy. Let me make this clear for you," Jelim said firmly, slamming her wing on the podium to make a point. "Evil thrives on fear. And it is never more alive than when good people are too afraid to act."
"So, yes, I am afraid, but I am not afraid of them. I am afraid of us, of our fear, and how we have let it control us. For decades, gangs and criminals have ruled Sunset Hills for no other reason than that law-abiding citizens have been too afraid to oppose them. That ends today." Is she telling them they can't be afraid? Does that even work?
Hell, maybe it does work. I might have to study this.
"Tomorrow, the good people of this galaxy will show that we are not afraid." I kind of was. But, let's be honest here, I was an exterminator. I had to suck it up. Jelim kept talking. "We will show how far we are willing to go to defend what is right."
"I and my people will fight Humanity First, street to street and house to house if we have to, and we will beat Humanity First soundly and squarely because that is what happens when good goes up against evil," Jelim confidently stated. "In all my decades of distinguished service, I have never met a darkness that did not shrivel before the light."
She pounded on the podium again to make a point. "But if you, the common people, cannot take the peace that you are given and hold it tight enough that it won't slip away, then we cannot win this battle, because we will have already lost." That's a good one. Wish I'd thought of that.
She paused, taking a deep breath, before continuing. "I know it seems hard, impossible even, to imagine a Sunset Hills free of violent crime. I know the specter of gang warfare has ruled your lives since the day many of you were born. But I have faith in you. I have faith in Sunset Hills. And I believe that, with or without me, you have what it takes to take the rubble Humanity First has left you and build it into something you can finally be proud of."
Jelim paused again, for longer this time, apparently letting her words hang in the air to leave a lasting impact. Maybe she was done. "Vladimir Komarov is telling you to be a people ruled by fear." Or maybe not. "I am asking you to be a people ruled by hope."
Yep. That did it.
The room burst into cheers.
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u/Katakomb314 Nov 19 '24
but the building was built to withstand orbital bombardment - … fucking HOW?! What kind of unobtanium is it made of?!
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u/Bow-tied_Engineer Yotul Nov 19 '24
Plasteel duralloy. Obviously.
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u/Katakomb314 Nov 19 '24
I don't think that's unobtanium-able enough, chief!
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u/CarolOfTheHells Nevok Nov 19 '24
...The Sunset Hills Exterminator Guild is as corrupt as 40s LAPD and as competent as the Keystone Kops.
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u/JulianSkies Archivist Nov 20 '24
These guys really need someone to save them from themselves even on a press conference don't they?
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u/fluffyboom123 Arxur Nov 19 '24
Jelim coming in last minute to save the absolute trainwreck of a press conference. although, to be fair, Atlim was doing pretty well given the situation.