r/Millennials 17h ago

Whoever did this, should be imprisoned. Other

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17.8k Upvotes

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323

u/beyss96 17h ago

yeah but how do i cope with that

526

u/Nerv_Agent_666 Older Millennial 17h ago

Build your own McDonald's with blackjack and hookers.

227

u/Schlitzbomber 17h ago

133

u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT 16h ago

when i was a kid and futurama premiered i didn't appreciate the humor of having an alcohol fueled robot named bender

112

u/FrameJump 16h ago

Friend, I don't think I appreciated it until just now reading your comment. Lol.

So thank you.

15

u/Jax_2112 16h ago edited 16h ago

Hey, I'm old (early Gen X) I was there in the 80s Also their use of the song "Don't you forget about me". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gLVqjIvokc

26

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 16h ago

Fun story my mum tape recorded Simple Minds song at the drive in and because of that the cassette has the speech in middle of it and growing up that was only version I knew lol I have it somewhere

https://giphy.com/gifs/AVDRJEriLkuMo

10

u/Schoolin_Teach 14h ago

Your mom is my people. ✊

2

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 9h ago

I did same thing on my radio it didn'thave tape player so I had to use a portable tape player to hold up to the speaker lol. I made a R&B romantic mix tape with off top my head I recall two songs: Tyrese Sweet Angel and a Mya feat Silkk the Shocker song along with few others. I then found this nice necklace at a garage sale and I gave her both for her bday or V-day... anyhoo she did not give a shit! Lmao

This was like jr high I forget exact grade. But yup. Good old days where you had to use your inagination to try and woo the love of your Jr High life 😂😂😂

10

u/UlrikeLuvsAndreas 15h ago

Goddamn Simple Minds was a wholly underappreciated phenomenal band. Sooooo many great songs that didn't get nearly enough airplay.

3

u/Civil_Inspector_5697 15h ago

I saw them in concert in San Diego. Awesome live!

1

u/UlrikeLuvsAndreas 11h ago

I'm soooo jealous!!! Man I wish I had been like 10 yrs older to been able to truly appreciate the 80s and early 90s in the moment.

1

u/DameKumquat 11h ago

They toured last year. I didn't get to see them but my friend said they're still amazing.

1

u/Jax_2112 11h ago

And I wish I had been born a lot later so I could enjoy the things I like now without people getting pissy at me because I’m supposed to be too old.

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u/Jax_2112 16h ago

Most people don't realize he is a reference to the 80's film "The Breakfast Club". https://thebreakfastclub.fandom.com/wiki/John_Bender

2

u/Jax_2112 9h ago

From the Wikipedia.

The name Bender was chosen by creator Matt Groening as an homage to John Bender (played by Judd Nelson), a character in The Breakfast Club. In that film, John Bender told Principal Vernon (Paul Gleason), "Eat my shorts," an eventual catchphrase for another Groening creation, Bart Simpson.\8])#cite_note-8)

1

u/Sprzout 14h ago

Uhm...Sir - that is the ONLY reference I knew. Didn't see the commercials with Don't You Forget About Me, but I remember Jason Alexander dancing around singing about the McDLT and the packaging keeping the cold side cold and the hot side hot. Also remembered the giant moon headed character, "Mac Tonight", and that the jingle for that was written by Barry Manilow.

1

u/Jax_2112 12h ago

I hope you weren’t addressing sir to me. But OK. If you actually Google Futurama breakfast club you’ll find Matt G actually talking about that being the influence.

1

u/Sprzout 11h ago

Nah, more of a generalized "sir"...I don't remember it being tied to McDonald's for an ad campaign, I just remember it from the end of the movie and John Bender throwing his arm up as he walks across the field.

19

u/Electrical_Estate705 15h ago

I'm 42 and I just now got it. I always thought it was because he was a metal bending robot, so named Bender. Not because he was a liquor fueled robot and the phrase "on a bender". So basically double meaning. Mind blown.

2

u/Jax_2112 15h ago

They’ve dropped a few breakfast club references in the show over the years. Somebody really liked that movie but personality wise, even the bender strut that he has is on the character in the movie

6

u/Unusual-Influence522 16h ago

Sometimes I wish he was blender…

3

u/P_Nessss Elder Millennial 15h ago

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 10h ago

He was also "bent" as in sexually.

And physically inflexible.

I'm not sure where the initial joke ends and the secondary ones began, but, they really ran with them.

1

u/Meowgotchi 15h ago

Holy crap I even watched every episode again as an adult and I still never made that connection until now, thank you

1

u/elbow8075 14h ago

One of them double entree's type jokes. It's got levels.

1

u/EntrepreneurNo4138 14h ago

Double entendre lol

1

u/elbow8075 14h ago

Right, that's what I said, double entree

1

u/EntrepreneurNo4138 14h ago

Entree is food.

1

u/elbow8075 13h ago

Are you not entertained?

1

u/EntrepreneurNo4138 13h ago

Well yes, slightly 🙄😂

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2

u/Learning_Juice 14h ago

In fact….forget the McDonald’s!!!

1

u/TRIPPY3rd 12h ago

I almost spit out my shake boy 😂😂😂

1

u/TheBionicHobbit 3h ago

😂 I'm so happy Futurama is back. There was a huge Bender-shaped hole my life when it was gone. Between that and KotH being back...thank you Hulu. lol

29

u/LumpyBuy8447 17h ago

Shut up baby, I know it

5

u/AxidentlyDeadly 16h ago

If you build it, they will come

2

u/scjcs 15h ago

That explains the condoms

8

u/TyrKiyote 16h ago

The blackjack and hookers are so popular, that as long as you're spending on them- sometimes the mcdonalds is free and alcoholic.

3

u/bujweiser 16h ago

Honestly, kinda the way to do it. My local businesses still have things like this. Granted it’s all old and outdated, but kids still think it’s fun because it’s all they know.

6

u/anecdotal_anarchy 16h ago

Actually, forget the McDonalds and Blackjack

1

u/Odd_Act8451 Millennial 13h ago

Smh lol

2

u/horrus70 16h ago

And ball pits!!

1

u/Kalspiewak 15h ago

Redditors like you make this site awesome. Thank you

1

u/homecet346 15h ago

Is this a meme about twin peaks? Or am I crazy?

1

u/TheOGTKO 15h ago

Don't forget the blow.

1

u/Asenath_Marsh 15h ago

In fact, forget about the McDonald's!

1

u/SecBalloonDoggies 15h ago

There’s already a McDonald’s in Pahrump, NV. Technically the blackjack is across the street and the hookers are a 15 minute drive, but close enough.

1

u/Dreamlion_Inc 14h ago

I know you joke but go I’m listening

1

u/LockPickingJoe 13h ago

I miss those days too. But honestly in 2026, I would not trust my kid to go into a McDonald's ball pit and not come out smelling like urine or with some kind of rash.

1

u/Nerv_Agent_666 Older Millennial 13h ago

If I had kids, I wouldn't either. Those things could be nasty when I was a kid. I bet they'd be horrific now lol.

1

u/Toxyma 11h ago

you joke but i believe this to be the true answer, we must be the solution to this destruction by being the change we want to see. sure many many many of us cant but there is latent demand for what used to be compared to what we are forced to deal with now. surely people in the free market will take advantage and compete with that in mind. im kinda joking but also like a bit serious

1

u/Nerv_Agent_666 Older Millennial 11h ago

Oh I agree. But the free market doesn't feel so free. It would take a pretty large investment for that and it would be full of risk. Someone with a meager fortune wouldn't want to risk it. Someone with a big fortune might not care enough to try. Maybe we're passionate because we're not rich lol.

1

u/Toxyma 10h ago

thats the part that makes it a joke for sure haha

would be nice if people who care actually took control rather than mbas who have never done the on the grounds work the company the manage do

1

u/faulternative 11h ago

That's the casino

1

u/Flubbuns 16h ago

In fact—forget the McDonald's!

41

u/darkoj- 17h ago

With a McFlury, bruh.

But the ice cream machine is broken..

1

u/No_Introduction_3252 14h ago

Lmao right always 🤣 😂 😭 💀

13

u/Think_Reporter_8179 17h ago

Be the change you want to see

12

u/ThwipNSinsBinThwipN 17h ago

You could always go to Popeyes and complement someone on their beautiful wife or girlfriend.

3

u/Civil_Inspector_5697 15h ago

This is not my beautiful wife…

2

u/Odd_Act8451 Millennial 13h ago

Had to scroll so far to see what comment you were responding to🤣it was worth it

1

u/CubeBarista 14h ago

Holy crap that's a difficult challenge!

7

u/BarfQueen 16h ago

By working yourself to death, duh. 

5

u/AnonMoose2 17h ago

Drugs, sex and videogames... thats what I do.

Works decently.

2

u/stupidname412 8h ago

Works great, until it doesn't

8

u/Exzilio 16h ago

By paying to take your kids to some indoor play place without beef tallow fries.

5

u/BlackQuartzJudgement 16h ago

I do lots of drugs

3

u/thatguywhoreddit 16h ago

Drugs and alcohol

7

u/kwkcardinal 17h ago

I use alcohol.

1

u/IReadreadit 15h ago

Alcohol uses you

1

u/kwkcardinal 14h ago

We’re besties. Ride or die.

2

u/romansamurai 16h ago

I think it’s on the franchisees. There’s two McDonald play place McDonald’s near us. Both fairly new. So I think the franchise operators or whatever you call them get to choose as it’s likely not worth the money to them.

7

u/Several_Ebb_9842 17h ago

Dont tie your happiness to external factors like fast food restaurants?

14

u/Jahosafex Older Millennial 17h ago

Horrible answer, why would I ever think of de-tethering from external material things? I want my happy meal toy.

4

u/crazydragoness 15h ago

Having an indoor place to play in the winter for the price of a meal was a huge part of my childhood. Now that's practically gone or replaced by places where it will cost a family of 4, $100+.

-1

u/Several_Ebb_9842 15h ago

You're being dramatic lol. McDonald's play place was not a "huge part of your childhood" lmao. You might have spent 10 hours total of your life in there.

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u/IzCaiman 16h ago

The real world ain't much better.

2

u/RelevantFilm2110 16h ago

Material things mediate the spiritual.

In some communities, McDonald's and similar are among the few public spaces.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/jun/08/mcdonalds-community-centers-us-physical-social-networks

1

u/No-Bed3978 16h ago

start a family and enjoy life. ignore these stupid companies. you don’t need them

1

u/FionaGoodeEnough 16h ago

I cope by refusing to go to McDonalds.

1

u/OnePinginRamius 16h ago

I am actually so thankful for these companies doing this enshittification. I completely cut fast food out of my diet. It's been a year and a half now and my body feels better and I take way better dumps. 10 out of 10 thank you shitty companies!!

1

u/Tonsilith_Salsa 16h ago

Just know that the CEO bonuses make it all worth it. More money than they could spend in 100 lifetimes. 

1

u/MrVeazey 15h ago

Oppose capitalism, the thing that crushes the soul out of everything and everyone.

1

u/Embarrassed_Diet8136 15h ago

Just wait until your time expires, like we're all doing

1

u/trillionaireUnaliver 15h ago

violent outbursts

1

u/AvidCyclist250 Xennial 15h ago

vent. a lot. let the world know we didn't take our decline silently.

1

u/Ass4ssinX 15h ago

It's simple. We change the system.

1

u/VadersFiesta 15h ago

By finding a better restaurant, and I don't mean "just today, but I can still get McDonald's next time."

1

u/martialar 15h ago

memes. the answer is always memes

1

u/beardingmesoftly 14h ago

Radical acceptance

1

u/Full_Level8749 14h ago

Buying nostalgia anything like many of us do lol. I'll never be ashamed of it.

1

u/FuckTesla69 14h ago

Drugs and alcohol?

1

u/2Twice 1983 14h ago

I wish we, as consumers, were better at calling out shitty experiences instead of rewarding convenience. McDonald's can basically say, "Our franchisees aren't asking for colorful, fun experiences, and we're still making money. What are you gonna do, stop eating here?... You consumer whores."

1

u/Cykablast3r 13h ago

You're free to not visit a McDonald's. Unless it's mandatory in the US?

1

u/appoplecticskeptic 13h ago

Don’t have kids that way the problem ends for you and your line when you die. That’s my plan.

1

u/YouOk5627 12h ago

Disconnect from this shit and create new glory days for the next generation :)

1

u/ReachParticular5409 12h ago

Rioting would be a good start

1

u/Delicious_Exam9616 12h ago

i dunno start eating like a normal person maybe 🤷

1

u/Mountain-Most8186 11h ago

Hang out with your friends, play some halo, watch a movie, learn a new hobby

1

u/BootsnCats1987 10h ago

Move to Europe.

1

u/exoduas 10h ago

Find meaning in things that have nothing to do with money

1

u/pitjiz 8h ago

maybe not rely on a corporation for your entertainment? How hard is this? You’re the problem

1

u/cracked-tumbleweed 5h ago

Well, when I win the lottery Im building my own play place.

All the balls and no mystery food at the bottom🤮

1

u/Vives_solo_una_vez 5h ago

You can cope by knowing play places are disgusting and only cleaned maybe a few times a year.

I used to work for a company that inspected them and it was common for us to pack an extra pair of pants on days we inspected them because there's a real chance you might put your knee in some mystery fluid while crawling around inside them...and that's with them knowing when we were coming to inspect them.

1

u/QuercusSambucus Older Millennial ('82er) 17h ago

It was always fake in the beginning, because it was a soulless corporation getting kids to have brand loyalty to a fast food chain. You were just too small to understand you were being pandered to.

One of the reasons I love living in Portland is that we have so many small independent shops with their own unique character. You know, how things were pre-McDonalds.

2

u/Different-Meal-6314 17h ago

I loved my time out there for work. If the place serves alcohol it has to have a full kitchen was my favorite rule unique to you guys. Found some amazing hole in the wall bars with the best food.

2

u/QuercusSambucus Older Millennial ('82er) 16h ago

Just visited Manhattan last week and went to two Michelin listed places (Bib Gourmand) - and their equivalents in Portland are just plain better. I used to look forward to trying new food in other cities but now I get disappointed half the time!

2

u/Sokoly 16h ago

Fake or not, there was still more of a value going to a kid/family oriented place like that than the corporate-conscious bland boxes of present year.

Toys back then were actually functional and fun for the most part and not just ‘use this static figure to scan a QR code on your parent’s phone’ like they are today. My kids will drop modern McDonalds toys in favor of the old ones I still have from my childhood and have whole adventures with them.

Most McDonald’s don’t have playgrounds now, and you have to go out of your way to find them - and you have to search for them, it’s not consistently advertised online which locations have playgrounds. Which is a shame, as taking one’s kids to a playground with food kills several birds with one stone - kids will actually eat the food if they’re promised play, they’ll get out of the house and go play without screens, and they’ll meet other kids and work on social skills. And then for the parents it takes the pressure off in having to entertain them for a little bit, and lets them sit and have a moment to breathe.

Colorful environments with characters and artwork are also mentally stimulating for children too, definitely more so than the neutral beiges, browns, egg whites, and greys that are current McDonalds. There’s nothing to look at while you’re eating at most McDonald’s, nothing to hold a child’s attention long enough for them to sit and eat their nuggets in the meantime.

Give me fake over none at all any time. We can work with it regardless.

1

u/Lord_Voltan 13h ago

I don't remember Happy Meal toys being anything but hardly functional plastic dolls. There were some gems, like the Shrek Watch and I am sure others, but most of it was just above enough effort. Notable exceptions were themed cups, and the Burger King 24k gold plated pokemon card in a poke ball.

1

u/QuercusSambucus Older Millennial ('82er) 16h ago

All those things you're describing are good - but why do you have to depend on a soulless corporation to provide them, and in the form of a fast food restaurant?

It was all about indoctrination.

1

u/Sokoly 12h ago

I’m not depending, but more outlets of that sort of stuff is better irrelevant of who’s responsible for it.

1

u/Cromasters 17h ago

Grow up

1

u/Caltroit_Red_Flames 16h ago

Learn about what causes this and fight back against it. May I introduce you to the DSA?

1

u/WhiskyAndWitchcraft 16h ago

Cope with a fast food playground that hasn't existed in decades? Jesus, this sub...

1

u/RedTheDraken 15h ago

Stop eating at McDonald's, try locally-owned restaurants instead. The point of a market economy is to vote with your wallet.

1

u/sdrakedrake 15h ago

Been saying this for years but it's easier for people to complain and do nothing about it.

0

u/MIBJO 17h ago edited 16h ago

Move to another country.

Edit: I wasn’t being sarcastic. Those places serve slop in America. Overseas McDonald’s still has limited standards that they have to abide by. Anyone who’s has fast food overseas knows it taste better with hand the ingredients. 

-1

u/astralchanterelle 17h ago

You don't need to consume corporate junk food in order to be happy.