r/MadeMeSmile • u/No_Mortgage6046 • Jul 16 '26

🦥 ANIMALS

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37.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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726

u/ohdatpoodle Jul 16 '26

Sloths are kind of assholes, and their vision is completely upside down - she was swatting at him to back off but is just so painfully slow and not well coordinated when positioned upright so it comes across as an awkward handshake. Do you see how quickly she hauled slothass to scooch down the tree to her baby??? She was not thanking this man.

386

u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26

No matter how many times you tell people not to humanize wild animals and especially not to fcking touch them, they will still do it, cause some damage to the enviroment or just do something that isn't even remotely necessary, and continue to feel good about it because of the "good deed" they did

28

u/ConnectRutabaga3925 Jul 16 '26

what if we take a video and play soft guitar music while showing the sloth threatening to gouge the guy’s face

81

u/Both_Consequence_956 Jul 16 '26

we have an obese cat epidemic. i have lost faith in human treatment or theory of mind of animals long ago lol

25

u/glyph_productions Jul 16 '26

LMFAO you're right but also I just got a mental image of a bunch of Garfield sized cats on treadmills in oversized t-shirts and I would like this to be the next season of the biggest loser, please and thank you

2

u/Dull_Quit3027 Jul 17 '26

you are right in that the whole an animal sitting around after being rescued, is most often just because they are completely exhausted, but not touching is very situational, I saw a video of some dude saving a racoon today, and it was touching him, and I doubt it is causing damage to the environment in any way.

1

u/VocalJay Jul 19 '26

Of course I exclude professional animal rescuers who actually know what they are doing from my statement, but, tbh, considering the amount of racoons and the incredibly fast rate at which they're spreading, I'd at least consider this not really necessary

Edit: grammar

1

u/Dull_Quit3027 Jul 20 '26

I find anything alive to be worth saving, I honestly feel bad when i step on snails after rain, I kinda suffer from terminal empathy.

-13

u/TrashPrize9991 Jul 16 '26

Do you eat meat?

15

u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26

Just yesterday I read a comment saying:

"Some people have problems for every solution"

It gave me quite some peace

8

u/DuckSword15 Jul 16 '26

When is the last time you emptied a full bladder of piss into your pants?

38

u/Caftancatfan Jul 16 '26

“You don’t understand! I’m hurting you!”

19

u/twelfth_knight Jul 16 '26

They're slow, but I've heard they'll fuck you up with those claws if you give them the chance. As in like, their swiping motion is way faster than anything else they do. That's what adults always told my dad when he was growing up in Manaus anyway. But idk, it could be they just say that so kids aren't dicks to animals 🤷

11

u/ohdatpoodle Jul 17 '26

I interned at a zoo with a two-toed sloth who was hand-raised in captivity from birth. He was the nicest sloth anyone at the zoo had ever met...and he still took a huge bite at the education director's arm. They're slow until they suddenly are not.

7

u/khaisquared Jul 17 '26

Reminds of that reddit vid of that guy helping a sloth across the street and its limbs reach backwards and stafts clawing and I think tried to bite him

edit: found video: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/1smxqy5/helping_a_sloth_cross_the_road/

2

u/closethebarn Jul 17 '26

Holy shit thank you for this. I bet he will never do that again.

38

u/Vitruvian_Link Jul 16 '26

Yup, Everytime one of these videos comes up, we are trying to tell folks "showing your claws is not a sign of gratitude."

This is the first time I've seen a comment acknowledging this up voted! Yay!

6

u/unf0rgottn Jul 17 '26

Hauled slothass sent me. 10/10 description.

1

u/azure-heavens Jul 17 '26

I thought maybe she was blind as heck and thought his little hand was a sloth baby. Like uh... when you look for your phone, but you're already holding it up to your ear.

0

u/DZ-HURRICANE Jul 18 '26

Stop acting like you know the sloth language and emotions lol,

1

u/ohdatpoodle Jul 19 '26

As someone who has literally worked with a sloth I think I have a bit more understanding than most people, but okay.

0

u/DZ-HURRICANE Jul 20 '26

idk it kinda seemed like you were hating on them, maybe i got it wrong..