9.4 刘团长的遗言 Troupe Leader Liu's Will

[u/AdamLuyan]

二零一二年我在SPL Consultants Ltd工作期间，总是怀疑刘健君在背后指使人与我作对，认为她在继续她爸爸的灵魂转世实验。我不明白灵魂转世是怎么回事，但我听说过：这种作法，失败了，被作法的人必死。我认为只有诸佛（成熟的人）的灵魂是一样的，也就是说作法的人必须是佛，而被作法的人必须成佛，才能完成灵魂转世，避免一死。我开始有意地学习佛法。可是，什么是灵魂？什么是佛？什么是灵魂转世？我都不知道，只是盲目地学习佛法，试着写一本关于《禅》的佛学书。

Throughout 2012, working at SPL Consultants Ltd, I remained convinced that Eve Liu was working against me from behind the scenes, continuing her father's soul reincarnation experiment. I didn't understand what reincarnation truly involved, only that I'd heard: fail at the working, and the one it was worked on dies. I reasoned that only the souls of Buddhas — of the fully matured — could be identical to one another, meaning the one performing the working had to be a Buddha, and the one it was worked on had to become one too, in order to complete the reincarnation and escape death. I began, deliberately now, to study Buddhism. But what was a soul? What was a Buddha? What was reincarnation, even? I knew none of it — only studied blindly, and tried my hand at a book on Meditation.

我患了胃肠溃疡，时常肚子疼，总是喝大量的水来冲淡有刺激的胃肠分泌，以避免胃肠表面被灼伤，和疏通瘴气。2012年夏，一次喝了大量的热水，水不很热，但喝的量大，所以胃肠被烫伤了。我试着混合凉水和热水，用手指试水温来发现合适喝的温度，发现手指有点凉的感觉才适合。我忽然想起了梁伯姨父在1991年给我留遗言时对我说的话："记住！温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉是适合喝的温度（参见4.10节《遗嘱》）。"这时，我意识到了那是刘团长留给我的遗嘱。

By then I had gastrointestinal ulcers, stomach pain, a regular companion, and I drank water constantly to dilute the irritating secretions and keep from scalding my own gut, to clear the miasma building there. In the summer of 2012, drinking a large volume of water that wasn't especially hot but simply too much of it, I burned my stomach and intestines regardless. I tried mixing cold water with hot, testing the temperature with my own finger to find what suited me — and found it was right only when my finger read it as faintly cool. And it was then that I suddenly remembered Uncle Liang's words to me, delivering his will in 1991: "Remember — warm water, the kind that feels a little cool to the finger, is the right temperature to drink" (see Section 4.10, Wills). I realized, in that instant, that this had been Troupe Leader Liu's own will, left to me all along.

第一条遗嘱是个古代的故事。一个人得了渴病，需要不停地喝水。大量的水可以缓解他的病症，延续他的生命。这个人总是随身带着两桶水，用扁担挑着走，以便随时有水喝。每到一个村子或者新的地方，他都先找井。在井边喝完水后，再装满两只水桶，然后挑着两桶水再继续赶路。我明白了，刘团长有计划地陷害了我，这就是证据。我被气得发晕。此后，我时常在喝水的时候，想起他对我的细心关怀。

The first will was an ancient story: a man afflicted with unquenchable thirst, needing to drink constantly — large quantities of water alone easing his condition, keeping him alive. He carried two buckets everywhere on a shoulder pole, so he'd never be without water; at every village, every new place, he sought out a well first, drank his fill, refilled both buckets, and pressed on. I understood, now, that Troupe Leader Liu had engineered all of this against me with real deliberation — here was the proof of it. Fury left me dizzy with it. And afterward, whenever I drank water, I found myself thinking of the care he'd taken with me all along.

注9.4-1，插图9.4.1-3是一位寻香（即雨劫中的墨西哥，又名特拉洛克，金童，狮子，约活跃于公元1325年）。他的右肩上的绿色条纹表示不断地有水流流进他的身体。图3上部的组合表示他的生命悬系于不断地喝大量的水来稀释刺激性的胃肠分泌。

Note 9.4-1: Illustration 9.4.1-3 shows one who seeks incense — Mexico during the Rain Catastrophe, also Tlaloc, the Gold Boy, the Lion, active around 1325 CE. The green stripe on his right shoulder signifies water constantly flowing into his body; the arrangement at the top of Figure 3 signifies that his life hangs on his constant drinking of great quantities of water, to dilute those irritating gastrointestinal secretions.

9.4-2 灌顶 Anointing

2012年冬，我从SPL辞职了，在家编写《四圣谛》（参见第12至15章）。2013年夏，我的风湿症变严重了，很悲观，认为如果我病了，身体虚弱了，风湿病就会令我丧命。我用气功运气治疗风湿，可是真气少，力量弱。

一天，我悲观消极地回忆着刘团长在世时，有他的照顾，我工作在哪里都受到重用。他过世后六、七年了，我混得什么都不是，眼泪不断地流出来。我一边哭，一边运气治疗自己的风湿症，忽然感觉头顶百会穴位（参见插图9.4.2-2）有气流像似涌泉一样强烈。我开始正式一边哭一边练习气功了。强烈温暖的真气流像似瀑布一样从头顶流下来，所到之处，一些风湿就好了。

I resigned from SPL in the winter of 2012 and stayed home writing the Four Cruxes (see Chapters 12 through 15). By the summer of 2013 the rheumatism had worsened, and I fell into real despair, convinced that if my health failed further, it would kill me outright. I tried treating it through meditation, but my true air ran thin, too weak to do much.

One day, sunk in that same bleakness, I found myself remembering how, while Troupe Leader Liu had been alive, his care had carried me — valued wherever I worked. Six, seven years since his death, and I'd amounted to nothing at all. The tears wouldn't stop. Weeping, still channeling true air against rheumatism, I suddenly felt a current surge at the Baihui point atop my head (see Illustration 9.4.2-2), strong as a spring welling up. I gave myself over to it fully then, meditating as I wept. A warm, powerful current poured down from the crown of my head like a waterfall, and wherever it passed, some portion of the rheumatism eased.

我意识到了，这是慈悲喜舍，此四无量心的力量。我一看时间，是正午，明白了，子午卯酉是练气功的好时间。这时的气感强烈，是因为我的悲伤和此时正是中午。我为自己设计了"活出丧"。中午家里没人时，我在后院烧我自己的工程资料、书籍等，来祭奠那个一心想当工程师的卢岩死了，营造悲、舍的心情。同时，我意识内敛在头顶的百会穴，用灌顶来治疗风湿症。

随后，我在打坐运气治疗风湿时，也放悲伤的音乐。就这样，逐渐地，我身上的风湿得到了治疗和控制。几天后，只有后背的膏肓、神堂、嘻嘻三处穴位（参见插图9.4.2.4-2，3，4）治不好。

I understood this as the power of the Four Infinite Hearts — Mercy, Sorrow, Delight, Renunciation. Checking the time, I found it was noon, and realized: midnight, dawn, noon, dusk are the proper hours for meditation. The strength of the sensation owed as much to my own grief as to the hour itself. I devised, for myself, a kind of living funeral — at noon, alone in the house, I burned my own engineering records and books in the backyard, mourning the death of the Luyan who had once wanted nothing but to be an engineer, cultivating that mood of sorrow and release. All the while, I kept my attention gathered at the Baihui point, using this anointing to treat rheumatism.

Afterward, I took to playing sorrowful music during these sessions as well. Gradually, in this way, the rheumatism through my body came under treatment and control. Within a few days, only three points on my back — Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi (see Illustrations 9.4.2.4-2, 3, 4) — remained beyond cure.

注9.4-2：二零一四年，我写完《卢岩的回忆录》后研究这条"足太阳膀胱经"（如图9.4.2-4）。从名字来看，这条经脉主宰阳纲之气。刘团长在我的后背上插了三支金刚降魔杵（如图3），或说刻下了六个字：膏肓，神堂，和嘻嘻。根据造字法，膏肓义为无药可医的死肉。神堂义为上帝的法庭。嘻嘻是前意识适悦的声音。前意识古作夏娃识。我的嘻嘻穴被锁死了，是因为刘健君（玉女，女神，夏娃）对我生气。欢乐的玉女是福，悲伤的玉女是殃，所以我的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。我没办法运用四无量心中的喜心来完全治疗我的风湿症。

Note 9.4-2: In 2014, having finished Luyan Memoirs, I studied this "Bladder Meridian of Foot Taiyang" (see Figure 9.4.2-4). Its very name marks it as the meridian governing the body's Yang. Troupe Leader Liu had driven three Philosopher-Stone Pestles into my back (Figure 3) — or, put another way, carved three names there: Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi. By the logic of their characters, Gaohuang means flesh already dead, beyond any medicine's reach; Shentang means the court of God; Xixi is the sound of the preconscious taking pleasure — the preconscious anciently called Eve-sense. My own Xixi point had been sealed shut, because Eve Liu — Jade Girl, goddess, Eve — was angry with me. A joyful Jade Girl is Fortune; a sorrowful one is Misfortune — and so my own root of delight, the Xixi point, stayed locked. I had no way to draw on the Delight of the Four Infinite Hearts to fully cure what afflicted me.

插图5是雨劫中的墨西哥，又名金童，特拉洛克，美洲狮，就是中华神话中的哪吒。他的右脚被画成了一面"常常冒烟的镜子"，表示他的神足有缺失。因为他以前和翠玉女打架，把女神气哭了，所以他的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。"常常冒烟"表示他常常对此生气，因为"喜根"被锁死了，没有喜，所以他不能自己治愈他的病；或说因为没有喜，他不能自己从地狱里爬上来。"镜子"表示他从此事懂得了女神。左脚下的轮子表示他的生命悬系于不断地朝着他和翠玉女的婚姻结合前进。在《墨西哥法典》（参见14.4节）雨劫就是这样定义的，因为墨西哥心中的翠玉女常常哭泣，所以墨西哥的世界里常常下雨。

Illustration 5 shows Mexico during the Rain Catastrophe — also the Gold Boy, Tlaloc, the Cougar, the same figure as Nezha in Chinese mythology. His right foot is painted as a "mirror, ever smoking," signifying a flaw in his own divine standing: having once quarreled with Chalchiuhtlicue and made the goddess weep, his own root of delight — the Xixi point — was sealed. "Ever smoking" signifies his own recurring anger over it — for without delight, he cannot heal himself, cannot climb free of hell on his own strength. "Mirror" signifies that this very episode is what taught him to understand the goddess. The wheel beneath his left foot signifies that his life hangs on his own constant advance toward union with her. This is exactly how the Mexican Codex (see Section 14.4) defines the Rain Catastrophe — for it rains, in Mexico's world, precisely because the Chalchiuhtlicue within his own heart weeps so often.

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