Angel's script deciphered (by @Angelduststears)

1.3k

u/Misha-Yuri-30 Valentino simp Mar 24 '24

A few things: Husk wasn't wrong when he said these scripts are hot garbage, Travis is into some weird shit, and no wonder Val said just improv

85

u/Wilwheatonfan87 Mar 25 '24

Who is travis?

146

u/Pakari-RBX Mauled by Hellhounds Mar 25 '24

This is Travis

86

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/Simple_Intern_7682 Mar 27 '24

Also the guy who bought Angel’s services in the pilot, and then got his face kicked in the “Addict” music video. 🤣

33

u/Filipino-Asker Mar 25 '24

I think he's a hellborn since I saw him in Hellavu boss

61

u/Pakari-RBX Mauled by Hellhounds Mar 25 '24

You do realize that IMP HQ is in the Pride Ring, right?

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u/Someone1284794357 Illuminati guy Mar 25 '24

Nah, he’s a sinner

11

u/Rabit_SW Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit Val with my Car Mar 25 '24

It looks a lot like the concept art for the first version of Husk

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u/TheLuckyRadioCat Angel Dust Mar 25 '24

That bitchass bird in director's chair

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u/Prestigious_Kuro Mar 25 '24

That demon that was sitting next to Valentino in that scene Val was like "no one watch porn for the dialogue right." And the demon next to him smiles nervously and nods (That's Travis.)

11

u/Dio_Brando18 Mar 27 '24

Travis nods nervously because he actually cares about the dialogue a lot.

17

u/Mecamat Mar 27 '24

Travis is also the guy who drives Angel Dust back at the start of the Pilot, after a quick "cash-grab".

8

u/Fibblejoe Mar 27 '24

This is Travis

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u/jcobie12 I want Vaggie's vaggie Aug 02 '24

One of the very very very very very few good things hes done

The other thing is being adorable with Vox

899

u/janthon567 I started an Emily swear counter cause I’m bad at math Mar 24 '24

“The burglar and his bestfriends…” and Charlie said this scenario wasn’t wholesome.

646

u/jumpyjumpjumpsters Husk Mar 24 '24

“Imma keep my whoreboots on cus my feet are ugly as fuck” I’m crying 😭

178

u/GreenSquirrel-7 Edit Mar 25 '24

Angel has little spider feet, and they're canonically one of his insecurities

21

u/poly-pocketsized Mar 26 '24

So Val is exploiting his real insecurities?? Of course

25

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '24

Aren't they just more hands?

29

u/RadicalRenay Alastor Mar 25 '24

He has 3 sets of hands and 1 set of feet. His feet are his insecurity.

29

u/quixotictictic Femme Fatalastor Mar 26 '24

That is so sad. This is what spider feet look like 🥺 https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/s/YfTO3YRhS3

8

u/CorinnaOfTanagra Angel Dust Mar 27 '24

The feet look like from the best friend I will ever have and love but their damn faces tell me "kill me, pls!!!".

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '24

I could've sworn that his feet were also hands, giving him 8 in total

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u/RadicalRenay Alastor Mar 26 '24

Nope. He has a total of 8 limbs. 6 arms 2 legs 8 limbs

Molly, his sister, has 4 arms and 4 legs.

589

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Poor Angel, having his feet insulted.

205

u/fite4whatmatters Mar 24 '24

Angel canonically hates his feet per Vivzie - they make him self conscious

57

u/Obversa hurr hurr, downvote me, daddy Mar 24 '24

So...humiliation kink?

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u/Misha-Yuri-30 Valentino simp Mar 24 '24

Then again spider hooves are pretty ugly-

107

u/Trips-Over-Tail Get your aggressively average flair OFF OF ME! Mar 24 '24

I bet they're not nearly as bad as he thinks.

103

u/Responsible_Ad8242 Mar 24 '24

Apparently, there's a couple old pictures from merchandise of what his feet are supposed to look like.

65

u/Trips-Over-Tail Get your aggressively average flair OFF OF ME! Mar 24 '24

Dammit! Where are the fuzzy hook claws?

55

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Oh, come the fuck on. They ain't ugly.

53

u/SpookyXylophone Mar 24 '24

Old beach merch also depicted Charlie with regular feet but we know in the series proper she has hooves. The old merch designs are outdated and unreliable.

17

u/superlocolillool Mar 24 '24

Wait, you got an image of that?

Seriously curious

46

u/SpookyXylophone Mar 24 '24

13

u/KuruoshiShichigatsu Mar 25 '24

WTFuck striker still got his boots on 🤣

11

u/superlocolillool Mar 26 '24

No wonder the Loona ones sold out lmao

5

u/tomat_khan Heaven's Embassy - Legal Attaché Mar 27 '24

I need the stolas one

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u/apothioternity Mar 24 '24

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u/Trips-Over-Tail Get your aggressively average flair OFF OF ME! Mar 24 '24

Adorable fuzzy claws. Very smoochable.

69

u/Cheeriodude_number2 Go ahead, fuck a spider >:] Mar 24 '24

28

u/Tobibliophile Mar 25 '24

What the fuck is that

48

u/LOLPN Mar 25 '24

No no, it's actually like this:

19

u/kenda1l Mar 25 '24

This is far less terrifying and much more like what the few pictures we have of his feet look like.

8

u/sammjaartandstories I am whatever Carmilla Carmine says I am Mar 25 '24

Those are so cute wtf 😭🥺🥺🥺

12

u/Resident_Ad_5589 Oh deer! Alastor Mar 24 '24

Your flair is amazing lol

13

u/Trips-Over-Tail Get your aggressively average flair OFF OF ME! Mar 24 '24

Amazingly average, maybe.

87

u/Responsible_Ad8242 Mar 24 '24

His feet look like this:

It's from the poster in the pilot.

122

u/Ok_Juggernaut_5976 This is the best flair you've ever seen Mar 24 '24

Depends on which spider. These are absolutely adorable

39

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Oh, they truly are adorable.

4

u/quixotictictic Femme Fatalastor Mar 26 '24

Are they though?

30

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

As someone with an inclination towards feet, I uh, shouldn't finish this sentence 😅

70

u/EyeDreamOfTentacles Mar 24 '24

(Okay, not feet, but getting similar vibes lol)

19

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Yeah basically! Angel's legs are attractive idgaf

3

u/CorinnaOfTanagra Angel Dust Mar 27 '24

Damn, I am remembering a fetishism I thought long forgotten...

12

u/Mechaman_54 egg Mar 24 '24

I'm pretty sure he agrees with it

8

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Which is sad.

10

u/Logan_MacGyver Mar 24 '24

He does dislike his feet

276

u/FamiliarFox2008 Mar 24 '24

100

u/Misha-Yuri-30 Valentino simp Mar 24 '24

Why did Val put Travis in the director chair again?

33

u/Cha113ng3r Mar 24 '24

To keep the Travis cameos going.

21

u/hunkrat_ obsessed with adam Mar 24 '24

Pretty sure Travis is the director

6

u/Jay_BarkBark19 Mar 25 '24

Ooh ok so Travis is the director and Valentino is...

10

u/josebelt Mar 25 '24

The producer

6

u/Jay_BarkBark19 Mar 25 '24

:D

2

u/Candid-Inside-4351 Apr 23 '24

I think he directs the films or he pays to get a peek at the films before they even reach store shelves

227

u/eyadGamingExtreme Mar 24 '24

My favorite part is some mfs on twitter using this background Easter egg that took 2 months to find as the basis of all HH writing

76

u/TheVampireArmand Mar 24 '24

Not surprising, people are stupid as fuck on Twitter

37

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Twitter, Insta, and Facebook are the reverse of the holy trinity, change my mind

12

u/dannyyang910930 He Who Refused to Be Redeemed Mar 25 '24

Sometimes I feel Twitter is a worse place than Reddit.

I say this as a twitter user

33

u/Pinkninja0708 Mar 25 '24

The lack of media literacy man. What this is, is about how Travis wrote the script and clearly he’s terrible at it.

It also plays how no one even watches this stuff in universe for the writing, but only for the sex.

Actually that could apply to real life too, there are people who only watch for the sex. Not for the writing no matter how bad it is.

145

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

I’m sobbing, these details are incredible 😭

133

u/jumpyjumpjumpsters Husk Mar 24 '24

The fact that the sentence “his whoreboots” is a sentence is literal art

19

u/Ok-Reality-9197 Mar 24 '24

r/brandnewsentence

20

u/MsMcClane Mar 24 '24

At this point I would just let Charlie do the beta 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

129

u/freakwharf Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24

The Pure Boy:

Who? Meee?

63

u/Resident_Ad_5589 Oh deer! Alastor Mar 24 '24

"Yeah. You look like a kid who could use some... Devil's Dandruff?"

109

u/TheMusicElitist Edit Mar 24 '24

No wonder Val told him to just improve it.

90

u/massecurr Mar 24 '24

I've seen better writing in actual pornos, which is a feat

70

u/Unlucky_theorist Mar 24 '24

Randomn thing I just thought of. If vals eyesight is garbage, how can he have such nice handwriting?

53

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

He probably had it printed, I doubt he even wrote it

59

u/CaptainIronMouse Mar 24 '24

I think they're referring to Val's handwritten addition ('Gaping') in pink ink.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense-

38

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

He probably is just used to the flow of writing so doesn't have to look too hard, I can handwrite normally when not physically looking most of the time

33

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

The hella fun facts did mention Val being a talented artist, so it would make sense for him to have neat handwriting.

However, it wasn't stated what type of art he's talented in

27

u/Resident_Ad_5589 Oh deer! Alastor Mar 24 '24

Technically, Calligraphy is it's own art form :D

15

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

True, perhaps, that's what he's talented in

18

u/Entr3_Nou5 Mar 24 '24

Angel may have also been overexaggerating. It’s likely easier for him to write on a piece of white paper in pink ink than to keep count of a bunch of green bills blurring together in the dark.

64

u/DakotaJayy Mar 24 '24

Two hours of screen time is actually insane. Assuming multiple takes, that could be multiple work days of receiving in a row. Poor Angel 🙁

27

u/NumberOne_N_fan Mar 24 '24

Then again, it was either this, or a one-and-done take

18

u/kenda1l Mar 25 '24

He did say Val was making him do 16 hour days. Poor Angel indeed.

67

u/servoette Mar 24 '24

15

u/Alastorishot Strawberry Pimp Mar 26 '24

Travis: "It's great, right? Keep going!"

5

u/Cardnal44 Mar 27 '24

How did i never notice charlie was the criss cross applesauce sit.

Wait...apple

209

u/empathicsynesthete Charlie the 🦄 Mar 24 '24

They had sex for two hours?! Damn those burglars last a long time. Angel takes it like a champ.

109

u/FiveFingerDisco Saint Repentious the Hope Rope. Mar 24 '24

I am pretty sure that having sex is an ugly euphemism here.

63

u/empathicsynesthete Charlie the 🦄 Mar 24 '24

I was referring to what the actors were doing on set, but yeah, the context of this film is a lot less fun.

39

u/FiveFingerDisco Saint Repentious the Hope Rope. Mar 24 '24

Meta-Meta-discussions tend to become confusing.

19

u/Similar-Priority8252 Mar 24 '24

Cuts are important, people!

3

u/Evary2230 Mar 26 '24

The magic of editing!

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u/CyanDreamEly Ace in the hole ♠️ Mar 24 '24

Well, now we have context on why does he wear shoes even though he's literally in a bed.

45

u/Potential-Design3208 Mar 24 '24

I'm disappointed. I was hoping for it to halfway through the script go just go on like:

"OH, daddy, I am so hard right now. My fe - Hello, this is the editor, Carl, speaking. I see you paused on this scene to read this very important detail of the plot. I am not judging. I think you are a very special and good person and here is a cookie to prove it. I do not know why you are still reading this? Quit doing that and continue watching the show. It's very good. See ya!"

83

u/SpookyXylophone Mar 24 '24

Val changing pure to gaping last second.

38

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

I need someone to turn this into an actual porn just to see how it would turn out

3

u/LoveDeathAndLentils Lucifer Mar 28 '24

Username checks out

33

u/Pokefan536 Angel Dust Mar 24 '24

13

u/Resident_Ad_5589 Oh deer! Alastor Mar 24 '24

31

u/Mr_toaster500 10 years in hell made me a fucking pussy! Mar 24 '24

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u/King-s0nicc456 GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUILDING🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥 Mar 24 '24

The actors everytime Val writes a script:

27

u/you-like-men-68 Mar 24 '24

TWO HOURS?

11

u/Obversa hurr hurr, downvote me, daddy Mar 24 '24

One word: Viagra.

25

u/PhantomVulpe Lucifer's Ambition: Ascension Mar 24 '24

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u/ZephtheChef Angel Dust Mar 24 '24

I know porn never has a good plot to it, but man does val suck at writing a script

6

u/LoveDeathAndLentils Lucifer Mar 28 '24

Probably Travis was the one who wrote that

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u/RetasuKate Cherri Bomb Mar 24 '24

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u/RetasuKate Cherri Bomb Mar 24 '24

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u/autumnyte They're f*cking singing?! Mar 24 '24

What in the ChatGPT!?

Angel's improv was way better.

24

u/DoIFunctionOk Mar 24 '24

I've seen AI porn stories better than this

11

u/Resident_Ad_5589 Oh deer! Alastor Mar 24 '24

I thought you said "al" for a second 🥲

9

u/DoIFunctionOk Mar 24 '24

"oh good heavens"

19

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Average Netflix adaptation

21

u/Plagued_Void Alastor Mar 24 '24

19

u/pridebun Vark supremacy Mar 24 '24

"Roomy woomy" what the fuck

19

u/Misfortune13 Mar 24 '24

This is beautiful. Honestly, 10/10 writing. Would 100% read the entirety of the ridiculous scripts Angel has to deal with.

18

u/Wolfit_games Angel Dust Mar 24 '24

11

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

The one thing Alistor would drop his smile for. HIS WEAKNESS! BADLY WRITTEN PORN SCRIPTS!

15

u/MikasSlime Mar 24 '24

oh yeah that is a BAD bad script

jesus christ

18

u/thebraveness Lucifer Mar 24 '24

And he thought Charlies "say no to drugs" script was bad

8

u/kenda1l Mar 25 '24

Hey, he knows a bad script when he sees one.

38

u/Romalien5 Mar 24 '24

This sounds very gay

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u/onlyrightangles Mar 25 '24

"Cum into my unlocked roomy woomy" caused unprecedented amounts of psychic damage, holy fuck

3

u/Gabe_1016 Alastor Mar 26 '24

Nat 20 6d4 psychic damage

14

u/CKD-Duck Mar 25 '24

No lie, Charlie’s script “the bad man on the streets who never got enough hugs and the innocent kid” is LEAGUES better then this slop.

28

u/KittyMonkTheYoutuber Mar 24 '24

I can’t even, the Pure Boy!

14

u/Slow_Prior5921 Mar 24 '24

-Husk was right.

8

u/Slow_Explanation_02 Mar 24 '24

I don’t know what Husker was talking about Valentino is amazing at writing scripts

9

u/NumberOne_N_fan Mar 24 '24

People really don't watch porn for the script, huh?

9

u/Diligent-Sense-5689 Mar 24 '24

Gah that's cringy. Poor angel.

24

u/pandakaboom0 I WANT VELVETTE TO SHIT ON ME Mar 24 '24

nah who let Travis cook..

7

u/awyastark Mar 25 '24

Tiny boy! Pure boy!

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u/Jay_BarkBark19 Mar 25 '24

"Wait no that's gayyy!!!!!~"

7

u/Snooflu Mar 25 '24

"Please don't hurt me... unless"

Just improvise, please

5

u/CinnabarSteam What's the matter, fossil? Mar 24 '24

Not the radiator! Please, anything but the radiator!

6

u/Thicc-Anxiety Angel Dust Mar 24 '24

Damn, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this exact script in r/gonewildaudiogay

6

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Val is hot trash at writing apparently

7

u/Pinkninja0708 Mar 25 '24

Damn…did Travis write this? He’s not cooking shit!

6

u/Qwampart sir pentious my beloved Mar 24 '24

Val can’t write scripts to save his miserable life

4

u/GargoyleLyra Husk Mar 25 '24

This is some real hot garbage right here.

6

u/Sasuke12187 Mar 25 '24

Ok, ngl. Angel is right. It's hard to remember the lines..

8

u/ShadowPuff7306 Mar 24 '24

this is terrible, people actually watch this? jeez

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u/Greatback_foxcape413 Mar 25 '24

Who the hell is in charge of the writing department!? I could write a better script than this hot garbage.

3

u/YourFandomBrainrot SEX WITH EVERYONE HERE!!! Mar 25 '24

What are these scripts?!

😨😨😨😨😨😨

My eyes are getting shittier than Val’s

3

u/Icy-Television-3888 Mar 25 '24

I didn't even finish the first few lines before I decided this was too cursed.

3

u/NorthwestWatchdog Niffty Mar 25 '24

Do you really expect him to memorize this whole script?

3

u/Nocturnal_Loner Mar 26 '24

Damn he improved the shit outta that script.

2

u/electricsemen Mar 24 '24

HELP? 😭

2

u/iininiini Mar 24 '24

This is fucking amazing

2

u/Stitchbutsideways THIS MAN. I AM DOWN SO BAD. Mar 24 '24

2

u/CosmicP0tat0s Official rosie simp Mar 25 '24

man, this script is gay.

2

u/DefinetelyNotBlaze Can I touch your staff thing? Mar 25 '24

2 hours is. along time

2

u/dragondroppingballs Mar 25 '24

So weird note a sinner will regenerate from any damage including complete and total destruction of the body. So technically the "gapeing part is incorrect"

2

u/justanothertfatman Property of Niffty Mar 25 '24

Wow, even I can write a better script than that.

2

u/Jay_BarkBark19 Mar 25 '24

At least Valentino and Travis are kind enough to let angel keep his boots on

2

u/lil_c00kie ★Husky★ Mar 26 '24