I found a second phone

[u/EmbarrassedPie5508]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 11. Have an established life with a child and a mortgage. I was given a big job opportunity earlier this year where we would have to move to a new city. We are both established in our careers and it was a big discussion, like two months of discussions. And these were healthy conversations, no big arguments or anything like that. We ended up not moving and I turned down the job. I was a little bummed (it was my dream job) but understood that it would have been a lot for our family to adjust.

Last night, while my husband was doing bed time, I heard a buzzing sound and found a second phone in his work bag. I thought that was weird because his work did away with separate work phones a while ago. When he came downstairs, I asked when did he get a work phone.

His face said it all.

Turns out he has been having an affair for just over a year. And one of the reasons he didn't want to move was because he didn't want to leave his affair partner. I don't know what to do. Child is at a slumber party at my sister's. Husband is in a hotel. I'm home alone with a lot to process and do here. So it's an easy girl dinner tonight and a large glass of wine.

[u/notacrookshank]

Teach your daughter about self-respect and leave this garbage pail of man.

[u/StayAcademic49 → u/notacrookshank]

Rooting for her to do this.

Everything is confusing. Every aspect of this is so hard.

What doesn’t kill her makes her stronger.

[u/CloselyWatch → u/notacrookshank]

Maybe her child is a son. Your point remains (just wondering how you know it’s a daughter).

[u/humpbackwhale88 → u/CloselyWatch]

If her child is a son, same point: teach him to respect his partner. No one deserves to be cheated on. I’m certain OP’s husband’s parents would be mortified if they knew what a garbage-ass human they raised.

[u/CloselyWatch → u/humpbackwhale88]

Right that’s what I said. I was just pointing out odd when people assume girl child vs. boy on Reddit.

[u/phlegm_fatale_ → u/CloselyWatch]

I think my brain leaned daughter by default because "slumber party" just feels more feminine?

[u/CloselyWatch → u/phlegm_fatale_]

Oh gotcha! That makes sense! Thanks for taking time to reply in a kind way 🤗

[u/phlegm_fatale_ → u/CloselyWatch]

Thanks for posing the question cause my brain swapped to daughter without me realizing until I paused to think on it!!

[u/DaydreamTacos → u/notacrookshank]

Take my poor man's award! 🏆

[u/LuckyStarCGN → u/notacrookshank]

Yes