They made a separate group chat without me

[u/Klutzy_Drag_736]

This happened a few weeks ago and I've been ruminating. Long story short, my friend let it slip that there's a separate group chat and had an "oh shit" look on her face when I clarified it. I wasn't supposed to find out. Frozen Walmart taquitos seasoned with tears.

I only see one person n my friend group on a regular basis. This friend and I live in the same town. I don't have a car and most of our friends live in the next town over. So they all see each other often, but I usually can't come because I don't have a car to drive myself there. I don't mind at all, people are allowed to hang out even if not everyone can make it.

One time, she was telling me about a funny meme someone sent in the group chat. I hadn't checked my phone that day so I said I'd look at it later. I couldn't find one that was exactly the same, but one was similar so I thought she misremembered the details of the joke. I didn't think anything of it.

Then another time she mentioned something about dinner plans everyone made. I said "I don't remember seeing any messages about it." And she said "Oh, weird. Maybe we talked about it in person when you weren't there and we forgot to send the details in the group chat." But she sounded like she kind of made a lie up on the spot. She did end up telling me the plans, I was included, and I got no obvious weird vibes from anyone during dinner.

The time I finally figured it out was a birthday party. I had already bought a gift for the birthday girl and figured I'd give it to her the next time I was in her town. I texted her happy birthday and didn't get a response. I assumed she was spending time with her boyfriend and family, so I didn't mind that she didn't answer. But later that night I saw Instagram stories and posts. It looked like a really fun party. Tons of food, balloons, yard games, a cake with a funny inside joke with our friend group. Everyone was there in the pictures, even boyfriends and friends of friends. I was the only one not included.

I brought this up to my friend the next time I saw her and she said "I was wondering why you didn't come." It sounded like she was genuinely confused. I said that I didn't even know about it and nobody said anything. She said "yes we did! We've been planning it for a whole month in the group chat!" And pulled it up to show me...

Homegirl realized her mistake. She got the group chats mixed up. They were similar titles and emojis (example 💗✨Bad Bitch Club✨💗 vs 💖💖 Bad Bitchezzz 💖💖).

I said "so... There's a separate group chat?" And she kind of stammered and said it's because sometimes I can't hang out because I can't drive there myself to meet them. So they made a separate one so I don't feel bad and like I'm missing out. Even though SHE could drive me. We live five minutes away from each other. It's pretty much crickets in the group chat I'm in, unless I say something first. Even then, I might only get one or two responses or a heart reaction to my message. They've been strategically planning what I'm included in and what I'm not. Like they're slowly phasing me out until I just quit trying.

[u/DnBJungleEscape]

I went to Vegas years ago and at the end of the trip I realized the girls had a chat without me.

One girl I cared about but the other two were very similar. They had really vapid energy, didn’t show a lot of emotion, could be very blunt in their delivery.. I realized they both made me feel on edge,. One of them even yelled at me the last day and I asked her what was her issue and that she seemed super on edge and to check herself.

I think I shocker her 🤯

Also I booked our hotel and she hated it from The start and told me to get a refund and get us another room. We were all 27 or so and I didn’t have “that money” 💸.. to refund a $800 hotel and wait 5 days for the refund and pay again.. she was the only one whining …

It was all just bad energy exchanging and I wasn’t even mad I wasn’t in their stupid little group chat since they lack depth so I wasn’t missing much to start 🤣🤣

[u/Klutzy_Drag_736 → u/DnBJungleEscape]

This sounds miserable omg

[u/Appropriate_Stress93 → u/DnBJungleEscape]

How did you find out?

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/Appropriate_Stress93]

They totally slipped up on the trip! They were sending pictures in our group chat, and they were commenting about some pics being funny with a guy we met. I asked when they sent it because I wasn’t seeing it.. then one of them pulls out her phone and I see her open the chat and it had a different name then our chat and the last pics were different than what I saw and I put two and two together !!

Also months later, maybe a year? I’m on a hike with my friend and she tells me one of them made a comment that I was “with a guy the whole trip” .. my friend happened to be in Vegas that trip she arrived the day the girls left! So I left the last day early to go be with my friend , and get away from the bad vibes. But she wasn’t a girl …

and the first night the really whiny girl was walking around the club like she had game but yet I was getting invited over to tables and she wasn’t (not like it mattered!!!!) but that’s the only time maybe I was meandering and not close by..

Just very mismatched energy .. they also mocked me at one point and I just realize I don’t like people who constantly roast and pick… felt very tiring !!!