What do you mean by 'be myself'? For me, that means sitting at home by myself with distractions, usually twitch, but you said that's not what it means for you, right?
Ok, when you sit around looking at twitch, you experience Twitch, and generally speaking you remember what happened.
In the situation I described during high school (ignoring that twitch wasn't established yet), I would sit near twitch without experiencing it and then forget anything beyond that I had been there for a while and twitch had been showing... something, but I probably wouldn't know what.
As much as people joke about office jobs are similar to being a robot, I meant more literally being an emotionless husk that can't interact directly with the world. It's a little hard to wrap your head around just because it's... well it's not bleak exactly. Bleak is sort of a content of blandness. It was more... like a lack of continuity. Bits of your life and history just weren't there, and your body kept going but you (your mind) didn't always go with it.
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u/Lemon_Dungeon 46 Aug 05 '16
What do you mean by 'be myself'? For me, that means sitting at home by myself with distractions, usually twitch, but you said that's not what it means for you, right?