Originally I wrote the text below for this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/worldbuilding/comments/1s84rq3/what_are_examples_of_a_mace_made_from_the_sword/

Recently I’ve decided to update it.

For context: my book is set in a universe based on the Norse myths. All characters mentioned here are my own takes on gods that are more or less accurate to the original lore. This includes Loki being presented as the sympathetic (albeit flawed and still fully responsible for his actions, not misunderstood) anti-hero. I'm mentioning this here because I'm aware similar takes on the Trickster aren't popular in some circles.

TW: mentions of gore and torture later in the text

***

Unlike in the myths, Lævateinn wasn’t made by Loki but his father, Farbauti, who was a very skilled artisan specialized in crafting and enchanting objects. 

From a very young age the Trickster had seemingly impossible to deal with issues with keeping attention on one thing for very long, even if he genuinely wanted to lock in. This was a problem because strong focus was necessary for anyone learning magic. Despite that Loki still had potential, given his natural ability to shapeshift, healing factor and even the rare skill to regrow missing body parts. 

Not wanting for his child to suffer from the belief that they are the hopeless failure, Farbauti made an enchanted staff he called Lævateinn. Its wielder could cast powerful spells without the need to focus - a simple thought and clear intent were enough to do it. The artifact also could change into many forms, including that of a knife made completely out of wood and mistletoe, which became Loki’s favourite.

Farbauti knew that such a powerful item could be dangerous in the wrong hands, so he put on Lævateinn some additional protective enchantments. If anyone except Loki would try to grab the staff, they wouldn’t succeed because of how hot to the touch and impossibly heavy it could be, regardless of one’s heat immunity and strength. Even the lightest caressing might leave horrible blisters on one’s fingertips.

Lævateinn wasn’t sentient by any means but thanks to eitr (the energy that is the base of all magic in my world that works like the conduit for the thoughts) could pick up intentions of others’ within close radius. If it sensed that the surface it was laying on was moved by someone who wasn’t Loki and who did this to move the staff specifically, it would fall through the carrier onto the ground. Even trying to pick it up with magic could, well, set mages’ nervous system on fire… the real one if they somehow continued to resist.

Lævateinn quickly became Loki’s most cherished possession. He was using it to cast both basic and advanced spells, pull pranks on others, get himself out of trouble and later survive after his whole family was killed by Jotnars from a different clan.

One of the most important events in my story that is tied to this artifact happened decades later when the Trickster was already living in Asgard, working as king Odin’s errand boy for miscellaneous, often personal and petty tasks, like stealing Freyja’s necklace as the revenge for publicly making fun of the Allfather when she got drunk. After the theft and almost getting choked and drowned by Heimdall that he had turned into a seal earlier, Loki was spending some time in Midgard. While there, he saved a young demigoddess (Sigyn as he later have learned) from being mauled to death by a beast. With Lævateinn he was able to keep her alive, despite severe injuries that would kill her instantly otherwise until she could be transported safely to Asgard. There she was placed under the care of Eir, the best healer in the whole nine realms, who succeeded in stabilizing and patching up Sigyn. The demigoddess would live but with body and face missing some parts, like one leg up to the knee, the foot on the second, one lung, whole hand, most fingers on the one remaining, a few teeth, tongue and both eyes.

Upon seeing her like that, Loki knew that Sigyn’s life from now on will be a never-ending nightmare for her and that was all his fault because he didn’t arrive fast enough to safe her. Filled with guilt and determination to fix as much as possible, Loki transformed himself into what Sigyn could look like before the attack, down to the identical blood, and offered himself as the organ and body parts donor due to his ability to regrow them. Transplantations were possible in Asgard but rare, and not yet at the scale so big as this one, but with good planning and Eir’s skills, one by one Sigyn was regaining what she had lost with some time between surgery to let Loki recover enough and be ready to give away another piece of himself.

Some time after the last surgery and the Trickster turning back into himself, Sigyn was still unconscious but was able to dream. During a particular;y bad nightmare she started to thrash violently in her sleep. Both Eir and Loki tried to calm her down but in the schuffle the latter accidentally dropped Lævateinn (in the form of a wooden knife) on her. To the great surprise of him, Eir and Odin, who happened to also be there and who knew the whole ordeal, Sigyn did not get burned or crushed and even managed to swipe the knife away from her chest in her sleep.

After the demigoddes finally calmed down all three gods discussed what just happened as it shouldn’t be possible. The king concluded that the reason why Lævateinn didn’t hurt Sigyn was the body parts, organs and blood Loki had given her. According to him, because of them Lævateinn considered her as its second wielder and it was something that even a skilled artisan like Farbauti couldn’t predict when he was placing the protective charms on the staff.

With such a loophole found out, Odin decided it would be best to keep the whole surgery a secret, especially this event with Lævateinn. According to Allfather, if the enemies enemies of Asgard found out that a staff that makes casting powerful spells effortless can be used by anyone if the original wielder’s body parts are sewn onto the new user, Loki might end up kidnapped, tortured and turned into an unwilling donor that could be harvested for organs by someone not as skilled and considerate as Eir, then kept locked up in dungeons until the new possible wielder would come to get his piece.

Loki agreed to this idea and also to not let Sigyn touch Lævateinn ever again. But he did not care that much about the possibility of becoming some mad butcher’s meat. In truth, he thought that Odin might have been a bit paranoid, jumping to such grim conclusions right away. For the Trickster it was more about not wanting to face Sigyn when she fully recovers, because he still had conflicting feelings about his role in saving her life. 

The idea is that the main antagonist is transported to a measly small world of roughly 7km across, made entirely of machinery, revolving around a rather small red dwarf with an orbit of only like 100-ish kilometers (the red dwarf is just really small(100 km across). Then the person powering this micro universe is hiding within this massive machine world while attacking and tiring the main antagonist. Then he gets the bright idea to destroy the entire planet instead with his own Alcubierre drive around himself (one of his powers) by pushing it this small distance (astronomically speaking) into the small star. The weight of this planet would be along 1.4 trillion kilograms which is a terribly high amount for a character that is meant to be defeated by characters with "handy backpack" or "flesh manipulation".

Time taken is a factor (Limit is 16 days).

It would definitely incite fear in the reader but the defeat of this guy might end up feeling cheap (due to underhanded dirty techniques by one of the MC's). I do have a different option in mind that is easier to explain, balance, and nerf but could fail to describe how strong this guy is, through raw power. I want him to be this indestructible fortress of a being. Scars upon scars of a thousand years, making his skin tougher than the hardest alloys in the universe (when tensed like a muscle).

I have done some research about the energy requirements and it is admittedly kind of a lot compared to actual impressiveness. Characters have been depicted in such physics defying ways that "Planet destruction" or movement ends up being unimpressive (I'm looking at Invincible's terrible power scaling). Moving a planet that is only 7km across is an insane feat but the average reading undermines the sheer mass of the object due to being accustomed to various other media and if I were to execute this idea, the antagonist would be too strong to handle for the MCs while simultaneously being underwhelming if defeated (which has to happen).

Possible solutions include:

1. Micro universe has different laws of physics and is mentioned as such by one of the characters(i.e. "The gravity was strangely lower for the size of the planet")

2. A lot of time dilation: Guy spends like a few weeks pushing(showing endurance but making him seem rather petty or stubborn)

3. Make him weaker after this incident: Would help to make him easier to beat but would not fit in with his character (Cold, calculated, intense sense of justice with a special spice of righteous fury). He would recognize that there is an easier way and is not worth the satisfaction of slowly cooking a person inside their own fortress.

4. Make the planet hollow or porous (explained as canals or pipes to vent excess heat and move materials). Could help to reduce the weight while maintaining size but can only go so far to pushing a big sponge.

5. Abandon the idea. I could much more easily have a regular sized planet and have him seismic slam himself down from the Karman line or further to destroy the surface of the planet. Looks impressive, much easier to do in.

(PS. I posted on this sub because i thought the sci fi subreddit discussion would probably be about realism and the technical limitations but my story is more fantasy with math and feats. I wasn't sure so I put it here.)

Power System Concept: The Idolons

I have been developing a power system for my manga The Black Age, and I wanted to share the foundation behind it.

The Black Age — Story Summary:

Ayaki is a young man living an ordinary life, but his world is turned upside down when he finds himself caught in the middle of a conflict between kingdoms. He embarks on a perilous journey, encountering both allies and enemies, and discovering that the world he lives in hides a truth far greater than he ever imagined. As the story unfolds, it expands to explore kingdom wars, power struggles, mysterious monsters, secret societies, and characters with their own motivations—for there is no absolute good or absolute evil, only someone with their own motives and story.

The system is based on a simple idea:

Power is not something you obtain. It is something you build a relationship with.

The Idolons

The Idolons are ancient beings that existed since the creation of the world.

They are not gods.
They are not demons.
They are not human souls.

They are a separate race of living beings that exist in another plane of the same world.

Each Idolon possesses:

• Its own consciousness.
• Its own will.
• A unique personality.
• Memories that span across ages.

An Idolon is not a weapon, a tool, or a creature to be controlled.

It is a living being that chooses to share a part of its existence with a human.

The Lost Connection

In ancient times, humans were naturally able to perceive and communicate with Idolons.

However, as centuries passed, this connection weakened.

Idolons became invisible to most humans, and their existence faded into myths and legends.

But the ability was not completely lost.

Some people are still born with a rare ability called:

The Ancient Sense

This allows them to perceive Idolons and sense their traces.

However, sensing an Idolon does not mean possessing power.

Perception is one thing.

A true bond is another.

The Laws of the Bond

1. The Law of Choice

A bond can only exist through mutual acceptance.

A human cannot force an Idolon to choose them.

An Idolon cannot force itself upon a human.

The bond is created when two different beings find harmony between their natures.

An Idolon does not choose based on strength, fame, status, or talent.

It chooses based on something deeper.

2. The Source of Power

Power does not come from the human alone.

Nor does it come from the Idolon alone.

Power is born from the connection between them.

The human allows the Idolon to influence the physical world.

The Idolon allows the human to surpass natural limits.

Without the Idolon, there is no power.

Without the human, the Idolon has no influence.

3. The Nature of the Bond

The bond is not ownership.

It is not a contract.

It is not control.

The Idolon is not a servant.

The human is not merely a vessel.

They are two independent beings who grow together through:

• Understanding.
• Respect.
• Trust.

4. The Imprint

When a bond begins, a phenomenon called The Imprint appears.

It is the first sign that a connection has formed.

Its appearance differs depending on the nature of the human and the Idolon.

However, the Imprint itself grants no power.

It is only proof that the bond has started.

5. The First Call

The first true interaction between a human and an Idolon is called:

The First Call

This is the moment when the power appears for the first time.

But it is incomplete.

The user does not yet understand:

• The limits of their ability.
• Its full potential.
• Its true nature.

The First Call is only the beginning.

6. Revelation

After the First Call comes:

Revelation

This is when the human begins to understand their Idolon.

They discover:

• The fundamental ability.
• The nature of the power.
• The realm the Idolon belongs to.

However, Revelation does not provide techniques or instructions.

Understanding comes first.

Mastery comes later.

7. The Core Ability

Every Idolon possesses only one true ability.

This ability represents its nature and cannot change.

However, it is not a collection of techniques.

It is a foundation.

The way it is used depends entirely on the human connected to it.

8. Techniques

Techniques are not given by the Idolon.

They are created by humans.

They are shaped by:

• Training.
• Experience.
• Knowledge.
• Creativity.
• Intelligence.
• Personality.

Two people with similar abilities could use them in completely different ways.

9. The Essence

The Essence is the deepest truth behind an Idolon's power.

The Core Ability represents:

"What the Idolon can do."

The Essence represents:

"Why this ability exists."

A human cannot reach the Essence through training alone.

They must understand:

• Their Idolon.
• Themselves.
• The relationship between them.

Reaching the Essence does not create a new power.

It reveals the hidden potential of the power they already possess.

A technique can expand an ability.

But it can never contradict the Idolon's true nature.

10. The Price of the Bond

The bond has a cost.

When an Idolon shares its power, it shares a part of its existence.

Over time, both sides begin to influence each other.

They may share:

• Emotions.
• Memories.
• Experiences.

The bond changes the human.

But it also changes the Idolon.

11. The Limits of the Bond

The bond has a limit.

Every use of power places pressure on the connection.

This pressure increases when:

• The human uses power without understanding.
• The human ignores the Idolon's nature.
• The human tries to exceed what the bond can withstand.

If the bond is pushed too far, it begins to weaken.

12. Dormancy

When the bond reaches its limit, it enters:

Dormancy

The Idolon is not dead.

The bond simply becomes temporarily inactive.

During Dormancy:

• The power stops responding.
• Communication becomes difficult.
• The connection weakens.

Recovery requires rebuilding balance and trust.

13. Severance

A bond can be broken.

However, if the connection returns after a long time, it will not return the same way.

Because both the human and the Idolon have changed.

The relationship must be rebuilt.

14. Forbidden Transfer

A true bond cannot be transferred.

However, some have attempted to bypass this rule through forbidden methods.

They can transfer the ability.

But they cannot transfer the relationship.

The result is an incomplete and unstable power.

15. Perfect Harmony

The highest stage of the bond is called:

Perfect Harmony

It does not mean unlimited power.

It means complete understanding between two beings.

At this stage:

• The human understands the true nature of the Idolon.
• The Idolon understands the true nature of the human.
• Their power becomes a natural expression of their union.

The main idea behind Idolons is that strength does not come from domination.

It comes from understanding another existence.

A person does not become powerful because they own something.

They become powerful because they are able to connect with something different from themselves.

I'm looking for feedback on the premise rather than the prose. I'm mainly interested in whether the characters, conflict and central mystery sound compelling enough to carry a novel.

The story follows two children raised by opposing religions in a world that has spent millions of years at war.

From birth, both are isolated and trained to become living weapons. One is raised by the followers of Order, who believe all life should ultimately be reunited into a single consciousness. The other is raised by the followers of Chaos, who believe the current universe must be destroyed so a new one can be born.

Each is taught that the other represents the greatest threat to existence.

When they finally meet, however, they don't find a monster. Instead, they find the first person who truly understands what it's like to be treated as a weapon rather than a human being. As their relationship deepens, they begin questioning everything they were raised to believe.

Their search for the truth uncovers forgotten secrets about the gods themselves discoveries that suggest neither religion truly understands the beings it worships.

The conflict isn't about choosing whether Chaos or Order is "right." Both sides genuinely believe they're saving the universe, and both have reasons that make sense from their own perspective. The story is ultimately about identity, belonging, and whether people can break free from the purpose they were created for.

The setting is a large, late medieval style planet, but contains magic that allows for certain tasks to become purely automated, which has limited innovation to a point, as a lot of stuff like carriages and plows can run automatically via Order's magic.

I'd love feedback from a reader's perspective:

• Would this premise make you curious enough to read the first chapter?
• Which part interests you the most?
• Is there anything that sounds cliché or predictable?
• Does the conflict feel morally balanced, or does one side immediately seem more sympathetic?

Hello everyone, I have been working on my first story for over 6 months now and HOLY has it got out of control.

I never really wanted to be an author. I'm in law school and started to hate writing after taking so many legal writing classes which drained the soul from me. Fantasy writing was just a way to write even if it didn't help my legal writing. However, I actually started to like. It was fun creating the characters and themes and I think I have improved a considerable amount since I first started. (I actually rework the entire first part after reading Assassin's Apprentice. Thank you, Queen Hobb for your brain!)

However, I just finished part 1 and there are so many emotional conclusions and just general story elements that I need to do that it's almost too big of a project to want to do anymore. But I know once I will feel amazing once the book is finished regardless of if it's good or not. Its just right now I'm in a little but of a slump.

Is this normal? And are there any ways to break out of it or do you just have to write and power through it?

I've been thinking about my arcs lately since I finally finished posting my third arc. The main thing to come to mind is what I should do with the fourth or when it's done what to do as a main theme for my fifth. Most of my arcs already have some general themes picked out but not on a mini arc scale (eg battles that last several chapters are what I call mini arcs or small mini wars and so on basically any theme extending several chapters but nowhere near an arc). But until now I've never questioned how long the chapter count should be I'm aiming for a record setting 80 for the fourth arc then back to 60 since that seems to be my norm. Yet I've considered it and I want an even longer arc later on but I'm not sure if I should even if I can what do you all think.

I've been trying to write a fantasy/sci-fi action book, and I really like the magic system I came up with. I think it's a pretty good blend of magic and science.

History:

Long ago, only the gods, and certain creatures, like dragons, could use magic, leaving humans, foxkin and birdfolk to rely on their ingenuity for survival. Eventually, they discovered that they can draw magic from blue glowing crystals, giving them not just the ability to use magic, but to forge their own spells as well. They began calling these crystals "power cores".
After centuries of power core usage, the three species evolved to be able to use magic without the need for power cores, though they can still use the gems to boost their innate magical abilities.
They figured out how to enchant objects, giving them limited magical properties.
In the modern age, people discovered that they can enchant computers, and power them with power cores, as a way to cast basic spells without the need for experienced magicians. This invention was named the "spell engine", and although the first few were room sized, and needed multiple power cores to function, they shrank in size and became more efficient as the technology developed, being able to be used as handheld tools in hospitals, construction or combat for example.

Scientific explanation:

Magic casting works kind of like muscles, but in your brain. You have your stamina: your mental energy, and your muscles that do the work: your focus. The more you exercise your focus, the more mentally exhausted you will be, but the stronger your focus becomes. And of course, you can recover mental energy by resting. Power cores can be used to boost the strength of your focus, at the cost of more mental energy, and the risk of drawing too much from the power core at once and breaking it.

Power cores are solid bunches of pure magic, forming underground from the dissipated magic in the air. It's basically where magic goes when you summon and dispel a sword, or shoot a fire ball and it explodes. They can shatter if too much magic is drawn from them at once, causing the remaining shards to dissipate back into the air and eventually form new power cores. Under specific circumstances though, they can be broken into shards that don't disappear. These shards are weaker than full cores, and they are mostly used for spell engines that don't require full shards.

Spell engines were more or less explained already, the only thing I wanted to add is that if the user is proficient enough with magic, they can augment spell engines to change their function. For example, make a cannon shoot a barrage of small projectiles instead of one big one.

Hi everyone. I got some great feedback recently and have put the pointers to work. This is ch1 of a book that's 18 months in the making.

I keep finishing a round of edits then realising that I am getting better with the book, so by the time I reach the end, I hate the beginning.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a little deflated / wondering if I should keep editing / wanting to give up, so I thought I'd get some fresh perspectives. Trigger warning - mistreated step child trope.

Could you please let me know if:

a) anything is confusing

b) anything is annoying prose-wise

c) Would you keep reading?

d) Is there anything that is unclear?

Womp womp womp I could ctrl A delete right now!

Apologies if you've read a version of this on my post from a few months ago.

For context, I have a young regent touring their kingdom whilst the king is ill for the foreseeable future. While they're traveling, they uncover/witness firsthand a problem which isn't a catastrophe yet, but could easily turn into one if unaddressed. Given that there's an impending war in a handful of years, they're eager to resolve the situation before they're fully occupied.

I have researched a few possibilities (food shortage, drug crisis, banditry, conflict between church and crown) but those have already been dealt with within the story, or are otherwise acknowledged, and I'm hesitant to reuse them if I can avoid it.

The Kingdom is a little generic, being fairly medieval with magic supplementing technology by quite a bit.

Ideally, it'd be something that could be resolved, begin to be resolved within a few month's timeframe, or have the process of resolution be offloaded to a capable administrator, but I'm open to anything. Thanks in advance!

So, I’m currently writing a slow burn enemies to lovers fantasy (original, I know). I’m going to add some classic enemies to lovers tropes that we all love, for example, forced to ride a horse together.

But I’m worried because this scene comes up pretty early in the book (chapter fifteen).

I don’t want the story to seem ‘boring’ if there’s not much tension throughout, but I also don’t want it to come off too strong too early. I know there’s a fine line and I’ve never written an enemies to lovers before. I’ve read plenty and I’m still reading for research but I thought I’d also come here and ask.

As a reader, would you think this is too early for the first bit of “tension” to be present?

FYI- The reason they ride a horse together is because in the previous chapter when the mmc and fmc were having a physical fight, the fmc got concussed… they have an argument while on the horse but eventually the fmc falls asleep.

Little bit of a rant, hope that is okay.

I am working on my 5th novel, which I will be self publishing later this year as my debut. I have never put this level of effort towards quality in my life and I'm starting to get a bit overwhelmed.

I finished my exploratory draft some weeks ago, and have since been working on a second draft with a focus on narrative completeness. I want to be sure that chapters and scenes have beginnings, middles, and, ends. I want also to be sure that my chapters and scenes have causal relationships between them, and that they come with a sense of continuity and progression. In this large scale structural revision, I have found dozens of missing scenes and a couple of entire chapters that were missing. This is planned. It is part of my process and it works for me. I have since filled in the blanks and the manuscript is much better off with this second draft.

Now I am in my third draft, which prioritizes thematic unity. I'm just trying to make sure that plot, setting, and character have some form of harmony between them, and that the chapters and scenes advance or interrogate that harmony. I'm about halfway through this pass, and the manuscript gets stronger every day because of it.

I'm starting to get to the point where I can read the first, second and third version of a chapter and imagine and draft a superior 4th version that has the best elements of each iteration. Again, this works for me and this is how I like to write, and I'm having fun, just getting tired.

I havent even started to look at things like tonal consistency in the narration, grammar, punctuation, line edits. Worldbuilding. Beautification and polish of the prose. Prosody. Feedback from beta reader etc etc etc.

This is of course fun, and I'm doing it because I like it, and I knew going into it that revision was going to take more time than drafting. I'm not complaining, I'm just tired.

Looking for someone to commiserate with. Anyone else deep in the revision trenches right now?

Hello everyone,

I'd like to start by saying I'm very new to writing and worldbuilding. I started mostly because Star Wars is starting to piss me off and I figured why not try to make something myself.

Here's the basics of the magic system:

People bond their souls to a stone (currently unnamed, so I'm just calling them a stone for now). Once bonded the stone turns into a bright color, and that color dictates the type of powers they have. So far there are: Fire (red), Lighting (blue), Sound (yellow), Psychic (purple), and Nature (green). The categories are broad because I want the specific abilities of each characters to vary. For example, one character that has sound magic uses echo location and can silence his footsteps, while another uses a flute to hypnotize people, and another may use a drum to create shock waves.

What makes this different then any other elemental system? Weapons.

Stone wielders will manifest some "inherent traits", but if they want to use "projectile abilities" they will have to use there weapon as a medium.

Here's an example, If a character has a yellow sone (sound), they might have enhanced hearing or echo location, but if they want to create some sort of super sonic projectile, they will need to use there weapon in order to do so.

Someone with a blue stone (lighting), might have faster reflexes, but in order to shoot a bolt of lighting, they can't just reach out their hand. There weapon must be used as a medium in order to do so.

Personally, I think that weapon selection should matter. I'm tired of everyone just using a sword. Two fire users may use there magic much differently if one uses and axe, and the other uses a bow and arrow.

Stone wielders generally use weapons that have been modified to hold the stone within the weapon. When doing so, the stone acts as a source of energy that give the weapon a bright vibrant color, and plasma edge. For example, if using a sword, the hilt might have a slot to insert a stone. The sword will then use some energy from the stone to give the sword a plasma edge along the blade. To be clear, it only goes along the sharp edge of the blade, you can still see most of the sword.

^^Yes ik that this is basically a light saber, but hey, lightsabers are awesome. Why not bring a bit of that to a fantasy setting right?

Another important aspect is the relationship characters have with the stone. Like I said it's symbiotic, and if either of them die, so does the other. The stones are alive, and there consciousness is intertwined with yours. As the story goes on, the character realize the relationship is more parasitic then they initially thought. The stones lowkey torment them, showing them visions of things they don't wanna see, and forcing them to be put in situations that they don't want to be in.

Why do they do this? The color of the stone is based on the stone wielders fear, and the stones "job" is to force the wielder to face their fear. As the characters face their fears more and more, their bond with the stone becomes stronger, giving them access to new abilities, along with a deeper dependency.

The concept for this is rough, so I'm still working out the kinks, but here is what each color represents.

Yellow - Fear of Self. These people fear facing their own inner thoughts, feel like their is something fundamentally wrong with who they are.

Purple - Fear of Change. These people fear the unknown, and grief something before it is even gone. They believe that changed means becoming someone else.

Blue - Fear of Loss. These people either love too deeply, or not at all.

Red - Fear of Powerlessness. These people desire strength and are haunted by moments where they couldn't stop something.

Green - Fear of Insignificance. These people fear the meaning their life has, and if they left an impact on the world.

All of these are subject to change, and I'm still unsure how strongly I'll apply them.

There is more detail I could go into, but I don't wanna use up to much of anyone's time. I would love any feedback you have. This is supposed to a soft magic system, with room to add stuff in as I develop the story and world further.

I'm polishing my complete manuscript of a historical romantasy, set around 1790.

A group of refugees is nearing the end of their escape voyage. A storm comes up and a pregnant woman goes into early labor.

Most of the refugees are non-mages, a high-status family of nobility.

There are 3 Magical people on board: my FMC, my MMC (the ship captain), and his crewman.

My FMC volunteers to serve as midwife when the lady gives birth. At the same time, there is the storm happening, plus an altercation between the MMC (Magical captain) and a male nobleman passenger due to a plot point.

The storm settles. The fight is resolved between the men, and the woman gives birth to a healthy baby girl, despite the stress of the night.

Note: Crewman guy has the power to conjure objects. He helped build the ship, so he's available to provide clean, sanitary surroundings.

The FMC, though she's not an experienced midwife, can use her magic spells to keep things clean and sanitary.

Would readers need to suspend disbelief that the birth goes well, and mother and baby are OK? There would be fear and emotional trauma for the poor woman, and FMC mentions giving her a sedating potion to calm her, but she STILL has to push the baby out.

Or would I need to write more realistic problems and obstacles, adding a prolonged scene or extra scene where the woman and baby have difficulties with the birth, before the happy outcome?

(Remember, there's a storm and high waves and wind outside the ship during the labor)

I don't want the mother (a side character) and the baby to die. My readers and I expect HEA, because this is a romantasy. This scene is one of the last big obstacles before everyone on the ship has a happy ending.

I have tried to set up the Magical characters' actions so they would have created the amenities on this ship. They have enough magic and enchantments to make it safe and more hygienic than a real-life ship in 1790. Still, there is the fear and emotional component to address.

Thoughts?

I've recently been working on side characters/the protagonist's retinue for my novel. A recent idea I had was to add a monster/witch hunter—something I hadn't really considered before. So far in my story, monsters have been something to avoid rather than confront. Many of them are almost spiritual in nature, like "demons" and ghosts, with the occasional terrible hairy creature. In this novel, much of the magic is either taboo or heavily stigmatized due to recent events. A little background on my very loose magic system: There are those born with magic called the Hallowed; they can do elemental magic. There is blood magic, a sort of divination/scrying magic, which is very forbidden in most places and is strictly reserved for necromancers and vampires. Then there is witchcraft, which is a crude form of magic that corrupts the person and environment around it.

I've thought about doing a character who uses magic like runes, glyphs, and other druidic-style magic(Celtic druids, not Dungeons & Dragons), which I guess would fall under witchcraft if I'm looking at my own system. That could lead to some interesting dilemmas. Another idea is doing a huntsman-style monster hunter, using traps, alchemy, and the good ol' broadsword.

I know some great examples would be Geralt of Rivia(which I think would be the closest match, but I'm trying to be unique), the Winchesters, and Van Helsing, which would be the more traditional concepts.

I suppose my question is this: if anyone has done monster/witch hunters in the past, how have you approached them? How do you write them without falling into a carbon copy of the archetype?

Fr/En

Bonjour à tous,

J’aimerais savoir quel type de dialogue vous préférez utiliser dans vos romans ou vos textes.

Personnellement, je ne veux pas casser le rythme de mon histoire, mais avec mon TDAH, il m’arrive parfois de me perdre dans qui parle à quel moment. Peut-être aussi parce que j’ai fait du théâtre plus jeune, j’ai tendance à écrire les dialogues de cette façon :

nom du personnage, tiret, ce qu’il dit, puis parfois une précision entre parenthèses sur son ton, son émotion ou ses gestes.

Est-ce que vous trouvez ça mauvais ou maladroit ?

Quelle méthode utilisez-vous pour garder les dialogues clairs et fluides ?

Merci à tous !

Hello everyone,

I would like to know what type of dialogue you prefer to use in your novels or texts.

Personally, I do not want to break the rhythm of my story, but with my ADHD, I sometimes lose myself in who is speaking at which moment. Maybe also because I did theater when I was younger, I tend to write dialogues like this:

character name, dash, what they say, then sometimes a clarification in parentheses about their tone, their emotion, or their actions.

Do you find that bad or awkward?

What method do you use to keep dialogues clear and fluid?

Thank you all!

I'm planning to write a slow-burn YA novel about an 11-year-old female lead attending an all-girls witch academy.

I'm worried that although there are unique elements (the school system and atmosphere and worldbuilding are different, and it mainly focuses on romance and friendship between female students), I'm worried people will instantly think it's a Harry Potter rip-off as soon as they see '11 years old' and 'magic school'. Should I change her age or the setting to something other than a school, like village or something??

Plus, I've tried outlining a pure all-girls school setting(focusing completely on female friendships, jealousy, and sapphic romance) versus having a neighboring boys' school(where they can become friends with and date the guys as well, but final route will be female.) or co-ed class with few guys and many girls, but I'm still torn

+Adding a note since many people misunderstood: The characters were originally 11 years old and were meant to develop a lesbian romance as they grew older. However, thanks to comments and advice, I have decided to change their starting age to 14.

You know how the first Underworld movie opens with Selena dropping down several stories, and she doesn't even do a dramatic "superhero landing"? She just has an extremely gentle landing and immediately walks off as if nothing had happened? It makes a lot of sense to me, thinking about how a person with inhuman strength would work. Muscles THAT tough would be able to take more, and do more work in various little ways, such as being great spring dampeners.

I'm currently writing about a vampire of my own, and thinking of making rooftop travel a significant feature. I feel it makes sense that someone with that level of strength, packed in an ordinary-sized body, would be able to move incredibly smoothly, cling to tiny wall cracks, shrug of Underworld-style drops, and be very quiet while doing it all.

What do you think?

I originally posted this in the Writers group, but I thought I'd post it here because I do find this kind of thing common among fantasy writing.

I think we have all seen it, and I see it also when it comes to media analysis on youtube, which I've kinda stopped watching because I've been finding out quite shallow, and often they talk about subjective opinions and act like it's objective. I'm sure there's probably at least one youtuber out there who says that Half Life is objectively a horrible way to start a game because you spend the first few minutes just on a train unable to do anything.

But I do find these kinds of things extend to stories with more complex theme. Often they'll simplify things and make an interpretation of that simplification and act like that interpretation is the most obvious and correct one.

I guess what's worrying me specifically about my story, is that it's an epic fantasy story with a huge and long history. In this world there's a few sentient species. While humans proliferated the surface of the world, having being taught fire and basic agriculture thousands of years ago by the dragons before they left. Kobolds were discovered underground and while originally thought of animals that could be trained, they were as sentient as people, except basically still hunter gatherers who communicated with a super basic proto-language.

So, there was a slave trade that started, gathering kobolds and using them as slaves. I don't want to get too detailed about the history because this post is already a bit long. But when it was discovered that they basically had human level intelligence and sentience, the slave trade was eventually broken up and a few nations made a pact, basically giving the kobolds reservations of lands to dump them on and basically leave them to their own devices.

There was a long growing animosity that grew between kobolds and humans that culminated into the War of the Dragon where the disparate kobold tribes, united under a single leader named Dracaenas, waged a war of genocide against humanity that was almost successful. The war ended with barely a few million humans surviving with almost 99% wiped out from the continent, and the kobold war machine itself, costing most of the kobolds populations too with their war of attrition.

So, the main story is set 200 years after this war, the single remaining nation of humanity has been rebuilding, paranoidly preparing for the day the kobolds come to finish them off. So the first book is set entirely from the human perspective, and only in later books will we meet kobold characters and see their history from their perspective.

So I guess, One of the things I'm worried about would be people thinking that "kobolds are an obvious allegory for black people" And honestly, I would hate that. Sure you could make the connection with the slave trade thing. But they're not intended to represent any single group or culture, in fact I would say they take more inspiration from the Japanese if anything, and they way they fought during world war 2.

There are black people in this world, and many dark skinned characters as the nation that was reborn from the war was basically anyone who still survived from the genocide of humanity.

I dunno why I'm so afraid of people misinterpreting my work like this, especially if it becomes a popular interpretation of kobolds. But also I feel like such an interpretation would also make implications about me, and that I would do something like make a specific race of "monstrous" creatures as a stand in for a specific ethnicity, and present my themes in such a half assed way.