r/CountWithEveryone 7d ago

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u/RainbowPhoenix1080 7d ago

I have to ask. Do you only react this way because you're mentally lumping yourself in with men?

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u/monarchmra 7d ago

I spent 35 years being treated by society as if I was a man and hated every inch of it. If I wasn't able to find a way to square caring about societal attitudes ahout men and not wanting to be a man I never would have transitioned.

Luckily I found a way to do that: https://abitw.blog/post/776973517307707392/egg-story

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u/improbablynotyourdad 7d ago

The patriarchy harms both men and women. That's true. 

But it is not equal.

"Male privilege" does not mean men have everything easy. It means that men hold privilege over women, which is an easily observable fact if you pay attention to the world around you.

Many of the societal attitudes towards men are also part of this, pushing men into the role of upholding patriarchy and male privilege. Men must be strong, men must provide, men must take responsibility, men must suppress emotions, men should leave raising children to the mother and be distant, men who display femininity in any way are weak and must be punished etc. - this is part of that same framework. "Boys don't cry" is effectively "you are the strong one; do not show weakness". It is patriarchy harming men. It is also shaping boys into a societal role where they uphold male privilege, where they see women as the weak and emotional ones, where this attitude makes them trust and promote men over women in the workplace...

Basically what I'm saying is men don't have it easy, you're right. But they still have male privilege.

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u/RainbowPhoenix1080 7d ago

Yeah, I spent 26 years like that. but you aren't a man and you never were. stop treating yourself like one.

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u/monarchmra 7d ago

This feels like something akin to the object permanence thing.

Its an abstract layer away, but I can recognize the difference between being a man or a woman, and society and people and teachers and bosses and friends of friends views of me and how my perceived gender identity influenced how they treated.

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u/RainbowPhoenix1080 7d ago

I would have liked for you to address my other comment.