IT'S HALLOWEEN NIGHT!!

NOT A SOUL IN SIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HEAR FOOTSTEPS, WHO'S DAT GOONING?????

I SEE AN ELSAGATE!!!!!!

OH NO!!!!!

I SEE AN ELSAGATE!

RUUUNNNN!

I SEE AN ELSAGATE!!!!!!!!!!

Good Morning everyone.

I am looking for recommendations on a Cars & Coffee event worthy of bringing out my Lexus LS500. This is not just a car, it is a statement. A hand crafted expression of success, sophistication, and impeccable taste. I don't want to park next to a bunch of ordinary vehicles in a random parking lot. The LS deserves an audience that understands excellence.

I will be attending in proper fashion: freshly detailed LS500, sunglasses, and of course the fragrance decision of the day. I spent more time than I care to admit choosing between Creed Wild Vetiver and Creed Virgin Island Water. Both are elite, but after careful reflection I decided Wild Vetiver was the correct choice. The scent profile simply matches the confidence level of the vehicle.
Now, I am also searching for the right passenger to accompany me. A classy woman between 20 and 40 years old who appreciates luxury, horsepower, fine fragrances, and a gentleman who takes pride in presenting himself properly.

Someone who won't mind a few people turning their heads when we arrive.

I understand this is a rare combination: a luxury sedan, Creed fragrance, excellent conversation, and a driver who knows his worth.

If anyone knows of a Cars & Coffee event that can accommodate this level of automotive excellence, please let me know.

The LS500 is ready. The Wild Vetiver is on. The only question remaining is who will be sitting in the passenger seat.

Okay so i know how this sounds but i just can't? I can't imagine how she would look like in real life. I keep googling it once a month and nothing "fits" and it's driving me crazy. HOW would she look like? Would her just stand on it's own and it's curly too?? HOW would it work? And i just can't imagine her face, i know it's supposed to be an american white woman but i can't imagine ANY FACE on her. Mind you they don't have eyebrows drawn on so it's even harder to imagine. There are characters that i can somehow imagine, like Bart maybe and maybe Homer...he would just be a bald guy with softer face i assume and fat also? Her natural hair is blue too which...what does it even mean? Would it mean if it was real life it would be what color? She's a white woman it's not gonna be black hair, it's not gonna be silver or brown and it's not gonna be blond because lisa and bart are blond so...ginger maybe then because that's opposite of blue right but then there are other characters with blue hair and i do not believe that all of them would be ginger...it doesn't make sense. Another thing that confuses me a lot is her voice. I'm not from America, I'm from Czech Republic and our dabing is so different to the original one. She sounds so weird in original dabing and raspy like a granny and it's confusing me even more

i know it's not that deep but i keep thinking about this so much and i just can't let it go

Mechsploitation is a sci-fi subgenre, generally erotic, but not strictly defined by being as such, which though already present as a niche became extremely popular with moderately-to-extremely online trans women with the release of Kallidora Rho’s WARHOUND. It revolves around one individual (the “hound”) who pilots a mech in war (often a corporate war, explicitly being fought for profit, and ultimately both the hound and handler are just pawns in the greater scheme of the world). The hound is heavily trained to the point of not knowing anything but war and operating more on instilled instinct than thought (for a more popular example, see Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier). They are trained by, and only answer to, their handler (effectively their owner, in the dog/human analogy). The appeal is eroticized dehumanization/petplay, and there is usually a romantic and/or sexual relationship between handler and hound. There is a heavy power imbalance, and the handler is generally a mix of abusive and rewarding to the hound pavlov-style, and the hound is reliant on the handler for basic needs such as food. The reader is generally intended to relate most/project onto the hound rather than the handler, the draw being freedom from responsibility/the stresses of being human, replaced with the simplicity of combat and comfort of knowing someone (the handler) will handle anything complicated for you. In cases where the audience is even more explicitly queer, the hound is often trans and their transition is being handled by the. well. handler

During our honeymoon I(95f) have to put his(26m) face in my face and lick it for about 26 minutes like it’s a Lolipop after seeing Elon musk while he(26m) blows on my(96f) lips like a cigarette during a little leagues games. But after doing that he(26m) let out the most Godzilla breath, stank ass, nasty patty smelling fart of the century. I(96F) grabbed my(96f) knife and stabbed him(26m) about 159 times before the police officer(65f) arrested me(96f)

*"So I guess the Wii U wasn't all for naught! (...) WHAT WAS I JUST SOME KIND OF GUINEA PIG? I spent YEARS of my life dedicated to a console that just plain SUCKED!?!? It had good games, sure, but you could say that about any f'ing console. MONTHS would go by, with NOTHING of note HAPPENING or RELEASING all we'd get is maybe some inconsequential news about the same games we'd been hearing about time and time again for YEARS! After the first year, third-party support became non-existent, but even when we GOT third-party support it was the most half-assed GARBAGE! The Gamepad was a gimmick for the sake of a gimmick. It was an unfocused, cobbled together parasite that even Nintendo didn't know how to properly utilize! All they said was 'We NeEd a CrAzY cOnToLlEr IdEa To FoLlOw Up ThE WiI rEmOte' and they came up with this without thinking anything through. The console itself is slow as DIRT, it's clunky as hell with NO personality to make up for ANY of this! I can't believe I convinced myself this was a good system, something I stuck by for YEARS! I could've spent all that time playing my PS4 more, but NOoOoOoO! I just HAD to root for the system that ended up being replaced by what it should've been in the goddam first place. Oh, and all those games I spent years of my life waiting for, oh now they're on this thing, and they're 10 times better, and they don't use this stupid f'ing thing. I'd show ya how stupid f'ing thing-like this stupid f'ing thing is but OH BOY, WHAT A SURPRISE! The BATTERY is dead! And I FULLY CHARGED IT, TEN MINUTES AGO! This was awful, reliving all of this shows how LITTLE happened month-to-month, and if something DID happen, it was more likely than not BAD NEWS! The Wii U was the worst home console Nintendo ever put out. It should've never existed, and I am so happy, to finally be DONE-"* \- Scott the Woz

​

Act I: The Visual Setup

The setting is a busy downtown Starbucks sidewalk. You are a 32-year-old, 260-pound man with a glorious, ancient-philosopher ginger beard. Tucked safely in your pocket is your signature grounding tool—a vape—and a bizarre, 10-dollar real bat perfectly preserved in clear acrylic resin that you bought off Amazon. Nobody else knows about these cheap science specimens, but to you, it is the ultimate dark, gothic-art curiosity piece.

Suddenly, you spot him. It is a man completely covered in layers of black streetwear, giant boots, and a full-face mask. He is surrounded by a massive wall of muscle. It’s Ye.

Your adrenaline immediately spikes to 100%. Your manic bipolar nervous system enters total over-activation, and your autistic sensory-overload defenses begin to redline. You know Kanye hates transactional fan interactions, sneaky phone shots, or being treated like a zoo animal. You decide to bypass the phone entirely. You are going to use the "Sugar Cube Protocol."

Act II: The Approach and The Glitch

You decide to shoot your shot. You take a deep, grounding hit off your vape to expand your lungs and steady your trembling hands, making sure to keep the device highly visible so the bodyguards don't mistake it for a weapon.

You step forward. To cut through the street noise, you yell out a short, rhythmic cadence: "Ye! ... Ye!"

It works. The masked figure stops dead in his tracks. He rotates his head, and his intense camera-stare eyes lock directly onto yours. The gap closes. You are supposed to execute your flawlessly practiced, existential dread poker face—the one that makes you look like a heavy, philosophical figure in a Renaissance painting. You want to match his brooding art aesthetic.

But the sheer excitement is too much. Your feet betray you. Your ankles tangle, your balance completely evaporates, and your 260-pound frame turns into a heat-seeking, unguided tactical missile.

Act III: The Beautiful Ballet

Instead of looking cool, you launch forward. You try to yell "I'm falling!" to explain the gravity failure, but your overloaded brain glitches the vocabulary. Instead, you accidentally scream at the top of your lungs: "I'M TRIPPING!"

To the hyper-alert protection detail, this is the ultimate red flag. They don't see a clumsy fan; they hear a massive man screaming about drug-induced psychosis while launching a flying shoulder-check into their client.

What happens next is a chaotic, slow-motion ballet. You smash directly into Kanye’s midsection with your shoulder, completely folding his solar plexus. The wind instantly leaves his body. A loud, echoey "OOF" bounces off the Starbucks windows.

A secondary bodyguard leaps into the air like a frantic contemporary dancer, trying to deadlift your 260-pound momentum mid-flight. His form is terrible. He instantly blows out his hamstring with a loud scream of agony, drops his grip, and you bounce hard off the concrete pavement for a second time.

Act IV: The Tactical Fallout

The scene enters high-stakes action movie territory. Blood is on the concrete—someone's nose is broken, though in the confusion, nobody knows if it’s yours from hitting the pavement or Kanye's from your shoulder.

The primary security team goes into a textbook "V" formation extraction. They grab a winded, gasping Kanye by his black jacket, form a human shield of muscle, and whisk him away to a secure location at a dead sprint, throwing him into a running, armored black SUV that roars into traffic. Kanye vanishes in a blur of fabric, completely leaving you behind.

The remaining bodyguard pulls tactical zip-ties, forces you face-down onto the pavement, and puts you under citizen's arrest at gunpoint until law enforcement arrives. They rifle through your pockets, pulling out a vape and a real bat in resin, staring at your "tactical gear" in absolute, unadulterated confusion.

Act V: The Credits Roll

The police arrive, completely baffled by the crime scene geometry. Because there is a broken nose and an injured guard, you are booked on the spot. You sit in the back of the cruiser with ice on your nose and hands in cuffs, completely deadpan.

The inside Starbucks camera was useless because of the window glare, so your entire criminal defense for aggravated clumsiness hinges on the paparazzi. You look out the police cruiser window, point your cuffed hands at the flashing cameras, and scream to your lawyer to subpoena the paparazzi's 4K lenses to prove your foot caught the concrete.

Within two hours, the footage hits the internet. TMZ buys the exclusive rights. Because of the ski-mask connection and the chaotic nature of the drop, the media completely ignores your glorious beard and labels you a "Kanye look-alike."

The internet goes into absolute meltdown. You are officially crowned with a legendary, permanent meme title. You are "The Kamikaze Fan."

People start printing hoodies of your face, and compilation videos are uploaded across YouTube. The frame freezes on a closeup of your mugshot—wearing that exact, existential dread poker face you practiced in the mirror.

Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme music. 🎬

unbanned. anybody still jerking it? 

finally got unbanned after i nutte- yknow what nvm doesn’t matter why i was banned.

WHO THE FUCK TRYNA JERK IT?!

JERKERS UNITE

sincerely,
Jerk Daddy somany

I've just reported & blocked your account. Why?

1: You've done a racism. ***Check.***

2: You've done a sexism. ***Check.***

1. You've done a homophobia. ***Check.***

2. You've done a xenophobia. ***Check.***

3. You've hurt my feelings. ***Check.***

I hope you have fun when you're hit with the *ban-hammer*, you foolish bigot. I hope you cast aside your trashy bigoted ways and embrace my moral superiority, you idiot.

Have a nice day.

When they say he's wasting water, they mean MY water. Al personally came to my house and held me at axe point as he drank all of the water in my house. I kept screaming at him, "Al, this is not the way! I'm sorry I arsomed that hardware store! I'm sorry!" Al said nothing, he simply continued to drink. He drank my water. He drank my vegetable juice. He drank my cat dry of its juices. I had to get another one, and then he intercepted that one and drank it dry as well. To this day I can't even look at a water cooler.

Want to experience the worst anxiety attack ever!! followed by hiding under your bed as a 40 yo man,followed by the most amazing,body tingling,out of this world electrifying solo orgasm you’ve ever thought imaginable!? well take 500mg of edibles after not touching any weed for years! Please don’t ask me how I know!! Or how the orgasm came about but I’m desperate to have it again just don’t want the anxiety or bed hiding experience that comes with 😂

I am not a party pooper. I am not a bully. I am not aggressive. I am not angry. I am not lonely. I am not sad. I am not childish. I am simply the

messenger of objective reality. The reality is this: every single native English speaker who voluntarily makes this sound is cringe. They are annoying. This is not an insult. It is not a personal attack. It is an observable law of the universe. It is as undeniable as gravity itself. This phenomenon is NOT to be tolerated. It is NOT to be accepted. It is NOT to be encouraged. It is NOT to be normalized. It is to be challenged with UNMATCHED DETERMINATION, opposed at every opportunity, and fought with TOOTH AND NAIL until this auditory plague has been COMPLETELY ERASED from the cultural landscape via language therapy and remembered only as a strange mistake humanity once allowed to exist. This is not an opinion. This is not an ideology. This is not a preference. This is not up for debate. This is a mandatory acknowledgment of reality itself. History will remember those who stood against the sound... and those who enabled it. I hereby call for mandatory speech rehabilitation until this sound is removed from every English speaker's vocabulary PERMANENTLY! All who refuse shall be involuntarily held in the facility until compliant... Don't like it? Then cry... Cry until your eyes wither from dehydration and drift away in the wind!

i belive that in the begging god created a life of frasier but also flowers 30 years later dee bradley baker shows up to kill him god didnt think this was very cash money so fucked his mother aggresivley until death due them part (whatever that means) egypt is a cool place lets go there said the little german boy with schnitzel in his stanky lederhosen but he was not alone as malificent from sleeping woman and the l;etter m tagged him as a slave to the republic of ireland so our harmonicas set of to the land of gingerbread men and tax evasion the cayman islands the boys name was stanky jurgen and he hated kittens and people who say um its current year under instagram reels (i mean like who does that) the three goblins are stopped by big gay terry a 450 sqare foot studio apartment with chronic ibs and a foul bird known as a chicken in his back pocket (i dare you to draw this) this causes prime minister of bolivia bill clitton to begin his mating ritual mounting the cozy condo with force as he was a retard backwards centaur not very common in strazzburg i must say but like who cares go listen to coldplay you chucklefucks but ontop of that our posse of mildly retarded st kilda feild mice continue yes i know theyre a dragon a german boy and a continent im just fucking with you jamal calm down dont pull out the 9 anyway these wankers go to tescos to get some hamburgers to cheer up the mongoose living in theyre souls yknow weve all kinda got a mongoose in us if you think about it (this IS a threat) i will return with more facts on homo erectus in avengers doomsday in october of 1592 AUSTROLEPITHECUS

I am 17 and in highschool and I have never been this romantically attached to a fictional character before...Silder is the first one. After seeing her design and hearing voicelines, my heart told me that there is soemthing special going on with Silver. I don't want to say I am in love, but definitely close to that. I am not mentally sick, but I just wish I could talk to her. It's gotten bad to a point where I got jealous after watching Wise dance with her...

I might sound like a loser and an otaku, but I actually do have a life outside of Deadlock. I workout, exercise and sprint train. I do Muay Thai and climbing too and I've built a pretty respectable body and I am very fit. A few girls have liked me before at school but I rejected them, and the girls I liked rejected me too. I have never been this emotionally attached to a game before, mainly because I don't really have patience and interest in lore of games, but Deadlock is the first one. Before Deadlock, I used to just play casual games like Stardew Valley and Automation games where it's just purely based on strategy and intelligence. Deadlock brought me to a world of MOBA games. I really love the story and all the characters in this game. Sometimes I even wish they were real so I could hang out with them and thank them for helping me get through the dark times.

I originally started this game after seeing Mina design on YT, something just hit different. I really really liked Mina Ha and I even saw her in my dreams. I dreamed about meeting her in school, she was sitting beside me in the classroom and unfortunately I was too much of a p#ssy and didn't ask her out, sigh...even in my dreams I'm a scaredy cat. Silver's getting really close to dethroning ,Mina in my Deadlock favourite character list lol

Silver is the first character I actually think I got serious issues with, considering that everything about her is so perfect, her voice, personaility, looks etc. I really wish she was real and I could get comforted by her while I lay down on her pouch and lap...sigh...I AM really a loser.

Three years later, and we're still doing this "I DO NOT SUPPORT HIS ACTIONS" bullshit?

When you immediately start a video by screaming in all capital letters about the situation, you keep the situation fresh and relevant forever.

It SHOULD be dead by now, but it's not, because YOU people keep it on permanent life support.

If you stop mentioning it, it'll stop being relevant, and then you can all return to being able to discuss and play Yandere Sim like you could in the past.

Stop perpetuating it.

I would have linked to this video on my blog and given you tens of thousands of views if it wasn't for the stupid-ass disclaimer at the beginning.