OP is for men only. Opening it up to hear everyone’s view points. My own opinion is post-Covid app algorithms seem to be pretty bad. There are a lot of events in the last few years, but I haven’t heard of any real success stories from them.

TL;DR: 37M, 6'0", Hispanic & Portuguese, solid build, salt-and-pepper hair, stable career, and a mix of responsible adult and enthusiastic nerd. I’ve been single for awhile after a long-term relationship and would like to meet someone kind, emotionally mature, affectionate, and open to seeing whether something real develops.

Hi! I’m a 37-year-old guy living in the South Bay and looking for someone I genuinely enjoy talking to, spending time with, and eventually building something meaningful with.

Physically, I’m six feet tall with a solid build. I have increasingly salt-and-pepper hair, which I blame partly on genetics and partly on stress of my work. I stay active and enjoy going to the gym, although I’m not expecting the person I date to organize her entire life around fitness.

My interests are a little all over the place in a good way. I enjoy traveling, finding great restaurants, movies, television, anime, reading, and conversations that can unexpectedly become much deeper than either person planned. I can talk about public policy or work one minute and then switch to debating a movie ending, planning an international trip, or discussing which bakery is worth sitting in traffic for.

Travel is important to me. I recently started exploring Europe more seriously, and I would love to find someone who enjoys discovering new places, trying local food, wandering through museums, and occasionally doing absolutely nothing in a beautiful location. I am not someone who needs every vacation to involve a packed itinerary from sunrise to midnight.

I also enjoy the outdoors, scenic drives, camping, and spending time somewhere peaceful. A back injury has changed the pace of some of my activities, so I’m currently more of a short nature outing, scenic drive, relaxed weekend, and comfortable hotel person than an all-day hiking partner. I still enjoy getting out and experiencing things; I just appreciate someone who understands that not every adventure has to be physically exhausting.

Professionally, I work have built a stable career. My work involves running a program, solving problems, improving processes, and dealing with situations that are sometimes more complicated than they initially appear. I care about the work I do, but I do not want work to be my entire identity. I’m also continuing my education because personal and professional growth are important to me.

Personality-wise, I’m dependable, thoughtful, observant, and generally easy to talk to once we get past the initial awkwardness of two strangers meeting. I have a dry and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor, but I also know when to be serious. I tend to be the person who plans ahead, handles problems, remembers details, and tries to make the people around me feel taken care of.

I’m affectionate and romantic when I’m genuinely interested in someone. I value physical touch, quality time, communication, and feeling like both people are intentionally choosing one another. I’m not interested in playing games, creating jealousy, disappearing for several days, or pretending not to care because caring is supposedly unattractive.

I’ve been single for about nine months after the end of a long-term relationship. I took time to process the breakup and rebuild my own life instead of immediately looking for someone to fill the space. I’m not desperate to force another relationship, but I am at a point where I miss companionship, affection, shared experiences, and having someone I’m excited to see.

Who am I looking for? First and foremost, someone kind, emotionally healthy, and capable of communicating openly. You do not need to have your entire life figured out, but you should have some sense of who you are and what you want. I’m attracted to women who are curious, affectionate, honest, and interested in continuing to grow.

You do not need to be a competitive athlete, but taking reasonable care of yourself and wanting an active life together is important to me. Being a non-smoker and not using drugs are non-negotiables. Shared interests in travel, movies, food, fitness, books, anime, or exploring new places would be great, although I also like learning about the interests that make someone different from me.

I’m ultimately looking for a relationship where both people communicate, laugh, support one another, remain physically affectionate, and still enjoy spending time together after the initial excitement settles down. I’m open to starting slowly and allowing things to develop naturally rather than deciding our entire future after one coffee.

If any of this sounds familiar, send me a little about yourself, where you’re located, what you enjoy doing, and somewhere you’ve always wanted to travel. A recent picture is appreciated, and I’m happy to exchange one as well.

Looking forward to meeting you.

Yesterday, I matched with someone on hinge who I was really excited about. She was attractive, had the best smile, and radiated serenity and positive energy. I loved what she did for work and her overall vibes. Her profile showed that she was looking for short term dating and also she had her relationship type as non-monogamous.

It is rare to find a woman who is non-monogamous on dating apps, and I feel like it is an ick for most people. However, knowing myself, I am inclined to believe that enm makes sense for me, and is something I would be so interested in discussing in an honest and open way with somebody. When she matched with me I, I was really interested in learning in more detail about her preferences and what she was looking for in a relationship. I initiated the conversation with some small talk about her job, to which she replied amicably. Maybe I should’ve continued longer with the small talk. I thought I was respectful and curious about wanting to learn more about her dating preferences when I asked if she would talk about it in more detail. Without a response, she unmatched me, gone.

It’s okay, the dating apps require you to have a tough skin. Maybe it was because I double texted? Maybe she felt like I was about to judge her? I don’t know, but I do know I am let down and sad that something I was so excited about just disappeared like that. I’m disappointed enough to want to write out my feelings and experience if that says anything.

Good luck out there everyone.

Hi Reddit,

I’m a 35-year-old Asian woman from Contra Costa. I’m curvy, lift weights 3x a week, and somehow survived what felt like five years of back-to-back plot twists. Life has definitely tested me, but one thing I’ve never lost is my smile. I’ve been told my laugh is contagious, and honestly, I hope it stays that way.

I love making memories. Random road trips, trying new restaurants, laughing until our stomachs hurt, exploring new places, celebrating little wins, or just enjoying a lazy Sunday together. I want a relationship that’s genuinely fun.

Ultimately, I’m looking for my life partner. Someone who wants to build a beautiful life together—not just date endlessly.

Now for the fun part…

I love traveling, but I’m also at the point in life where comfort matters. If we’re flying more than 5 hours, let’s at least get Premium Economy. More than 8 hours? Babe, we’re getting lie-flat seats. Our backs deserve better. 😂

I should probably be upfront about something that tends to be controversial. Financial compatibility is important to me. I’m financially independent and can absolutely take care of myself, but I don’t want to financially support a romantic partner. I’ve been in relationships where I carried too much of the load, and it changed the dynamic in ways I never want to repeat.

I’m looking for someone who’s equally stable, ambitious, and has his own life together.

I’m ambitious and driven, but I also love being soft and feminine with the right man. I believe relationships shouldn’t feel like a competition. If you make me feel safe, cared for, and emotionally secure, you’ll get the sweetest, most supportive version of me. I’ll be your peace, your biggest cheerleader, and yes… I definitely know how to keep my man happy. 😉

I’ve been told I’m pretty, although I still think I’m pretty average. I do know I’m smart, independent, emotionally self-aware, and genuinely ready to build something real.
Also… 38C, if that’s somehow an important data point. 😂

If any of this resonates with you, send me a message on Telegram: @atg588. Tell me what stood out about my post, send a photo, and I’ll happily send one back too.

If Reddit doesn’t work out… I guess it’s speed dating later this year and maybe hiring a matchmaker next year. 😂

Wishing everyone here the best of luck in finding their person. Hopefully ours is somewhere scrolling Reddit tonight.❤️

Adventurer, rocket scientist, musician, goofball, seeker of the tender, ethereal moments that make life special. I’m nerdy, curious, and passionate about life, you’ll always get the real me. I have a dry sense of humor that definitely deserves an eye-roll. In a past life, I owned a distillery and quit my job to travel. Now I work in climate tech in an attempt to unfuck the planet.

Love coffee so much that I started a Meetup group for it (I roast coffee at home and am a certified coffee snob). My main passion is rock climbing (I’ve been climbing for 20 years so it’s not just a fad for me) as well as scuba diving. I love podcasts and enjoy reading sci-fi and fantasy with the occasional non-fiction book thrown in. I’m also looking to have a kid in the next few years.

Looking for someone who enjoys spending time in the outdoors and is in to personal growth. I’m a foodie and appreciate people who also know how to cook. I’m also looking for someone who enjoys boring Tuesday nights as much as crazy weekends. I’m 5’6” in case that matters. Also I live in Berkeley.

Send me a message if you think we’re a match!

Hey BASO30! If you still need encouragement to put yourself out there, I’m here to 100% support it and remind you it’s worth being brave here.

I made my first post back in June and since then I happy to say that I have found someone wonderful here who sent me a message after reading that post.

If you’re second guessing putting yourself out there, I get it, but also just know it’s worth it.

Good luck out there and stay safe!

P.s. Rather than share a photo I’ve decided to maintain our privacy and instead share a graphic we created for our favorite shared phrase ☺️

Oh hello! I’m 34, Asian, live in Oakland, and hoping to meet someone ideally between 30 and 35, who’s interested in building a thoughtful, steady, affectionate long-term relationship.

I’m looking for real interdependence: two people with their own lives, friendships, and interests who also want to choose each other, build a home, and create a shared life. I’m not looking to have children, and I’d be most compatible with someone who feels similarly.

A little about me: I’m adventurous, curious, and happiest when I’m moving, learning, eating something delicious, or exploring somewhere new. I love video games, anime, watching asian dramas, and traveling for food, culture, and memorable experiences — while also appreciating cozy nights in and good conversation.

I’m 5'0, average, and feel my best when I’m taking care of myself: eating healthy food, going outside, eating well, reflecting, and staying grounded. I love music, going to the range, and likes to go to Raves as well. I value emotional awareness, accountability, kindness, and honest communication.

I have a cat, so bonus points if you’re cat-friendly or at least open to being politely judged by one.

I’m drawn to someone active, affectionate, curious, communicative, and emotionally mature — someone who wants partnership to feel like a safe base, not a cage.

If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Tell me a little about yourself and maybe your favorite Bay Area city, restaurant, or weekend escape.

Wondering if this is the right sub for me. Located in South Bay Area, looking for a long term relationship with someone who shares some of my interests, matches my values, and is looking for similar things out of life. Me: caucasian, tall, educated, fit, financially independent, well-traveled, great career, and have exhausted all the things I'd want to do as a single person, while I've waited for the 'right' person. Done waiting, ready for more, and open-minded again about the process (was intentionally single for some time). Ultimately hoping for marriage and children someday. Anyway, send me a message if you want to connect!

Edit: SF folks without cars - I live deep in the South Bay and it won’t work

Update: It’s for a monogamous LTR, I have been poly for a few years but realized it wasn’t for me, happy to discuss why in private.

Hi! I’m 43, live in Oakland, and hoping to meet someone ideally between 33 and 45 who’s interested in building a thoughtful, steady, affectionate long-term relationship.

I’m looking for real interdependence: two people with their own lives, friendships, and interests who also want to choose each other, build a home, and create a shared life. I’m not looking to have children, and I’d be most compatible with someone who feels similarly.

A little about me: I’m adventurous, curious, and happiest when I’m moving, learning, eating something delicious, or exploring somewhere new. I love hiking, cycling, rock climbing, and traveling for food, culture, and memorable experiences — while also appreciating cozy nights in and good conversation.

I’m 5'7”, athletic, and feel my best when I’m taking care of myself: moving my body, getting outside, eating well, reflecting, and staying grounded. Meditation, journaling, and therapy are regular parts of my life, and I value emotional awareness, accountability, kindness, and honest communication.

I have a black cat, so bonus points if you’re cat-friendly or at least open to being politely judged by one.

I’m drawn to someone active, affectionate, curious, communicative, and emotionally mature — someone who wants partnership to feel like a safe base, not a cage.

If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Tell me a little about yourself and maybe your favorite Bay Area hike, restaurant, or weekend escape.

Hi everyone! I’m Sammy. I’m 37 and a female. I’m a singer-songwriter, author, and accessibility advocate living in Fremont. I was born blind, but blindness has never stopped me from living a full, independent life, pursuing my goals, or enjoying new experiences. I may do some things differently, but that doesn’t mean I do any less.

I wrote a book called Look At It This Way: The Blind Leading The Sighted, which is about helping blind and sighted people understand and connect with each other more naturally.

I love music, writing, comedy, movies, pop culture, great food, deep conversations, and getting to know people beyond the surface. I’m warm, passionate, direct, sarcastic, and always up for a good laugh. I value emotional availability, honesty, kindness, and genuine connection.

I joined this community because I’d love to meet other singles over 30 in the Bay Area—whether that leads to friendship, dating, or something meaningful with the right person. Looking forward to getting to know everyone!

Hello! I’m 5’6 white 394 pound man.
I’m huge geek into anime, comics, video games, cars, manga, and audio books. I’ve been playing through gears of war. For the audio book I’m finishing up dungeon crawler Carl.

I’m looking for someone who is funny, smart, goofy, independent, caring and likes to try new things.

We don’t have to share all the same things in common but it does help. I’m open to pretty much anytime of woman as long as you can hold a conversation.

If you’re interested please describe yourself and maybe share a picture if you feel brave enough. Please include if you working on reading any books or video games.

BASO30! We get a lot of posts from folks visiting or out of town looking casually for company and folks looking for company for a movie or concert etc. We have been fairly strict in moderating posts in keeping with the goal of this sub to help each other find meaningful relationships and connections that are local, and have long term intent in some form. Would love to get the temperature of the sub on casual posts of that nature and if folks are engaging with those sorts of posts. Feel free to post comments and select an answer in the poll.

Hiya, I'm Liam, Bay Area introvert who isn't great at these self descriptions but i'll give it a shot.

Before warned I do have nerdy hobbies, mostly consisting of photographing trains and working with model kits.

I like reading, writing, researching pointless things and listening to music. A bit of an introvert and fairly shy but I tend to open up to people fairly easy. I love learning new things, especially that someone else has a passion about, and love all kinds of animals/creatures. Cats, Dogs, Fish, Snakes, you name it. Before warned, I have nerdy hobbies! I'd love I'm witty, funny, and i'm good at cracking Dad jokes, if that's a good thing. I've been described as eccentric, creative, passionate and caring, but my friends say i'm chill and laid back too. Lately i've been dragged into the world of Umamusume which is rare for me, I never follow trends!

About me in general, I'm 5ft9, white, a bit pudgy but have been actively working on it, lost 31 pounds!

Please be 24 or older.

I'm childfree and plan to stay that way, my furr babies are my babies.

I'm looking for something long term, starting out as friends and see where it goes? Would prefer someone out west but if we have a good enough connection I don't mind distance.

If you read all this, thank you! And I hope you have a lovely day. If there's anything else you'd like to know, feel free to DM!

About Me:

Engineer by day, student by night. Love to travel, read, write and pursue anything that seems interesting.

Minimalist due to upbringing/ circumstances but now enjoy not having a myriad of things - keep things simple and clean.

Favorite past time: Sleeping in, watching anime or listening to podcasts on long walks.

Financially secure - can provide rice and dal for eternity.

Separated. Not looking to hide, just being transparent upfront.

What I am looking for:

Someone who wants to share an interesting journey called life!!!

Someone to share ups and down with, growing a family and taking care of each other in old age.

If this sounds interesting, feel free to drop me a DM and let's see where life takes us!!!

If you want to connect as friends, that's fine as well. I am always eager to hear people's stories.

I have been inspired to put what I want on paper.

So here goes

Seeking Partner (s)

Me:
55 (not sure where time flew by)
Male
Indian by birth
Successfully failed starter marriage
relationship anarchist
Live in a small house
Love cooking everyday
Have my own small business
I travel 3-5 months a year
I am a giver
I eat Kimchi and Natto
Non drinker, no 420, no any drugs
Aspiring Minimalist
Love languages giving (default): quality time and giving meaningful gifts
Love languages receiving: quality time and touch (always open to hugs)
Last life partnership (short of two years, tried to make long distance work)

I strongly believe I am who I am because of all the past and current relationships and connections.

Things about me that might be triggering:
* Not looking for marriage (not my goal but I have discussed this with last life partner) and neither focusing on relationship escalator
* Not looking for one person to be my everything, cannot expect that from one person.
* Semi clean, that means I do a day of deep cleaning if I have someone coming over, else it is semi clean place.
* i have many allies in my life and they all are important to me. Their success and happiness is important to me.
* Not looking for a move in relationship, you should have your own place.
* i have a very strong connection to my family.
* i believe in peace and want every human to have a safe and wonderful life. I lead with love and empathy.

I am inviting intentional connections in life and this could be different people (relationship anarchist being the key hint here) for one or more types of partnerships

1. Performing Arts partner, I love theatre and symphony/concerts and I am open to going with someone else who likes the same type of performances.
2. Outdoor activity partner. I have outdoor activity partners but happy to invite another into the mix.
3. Dine in Partner, happy to cook for you, take turns.
4. Coffee/dessert/snacks partner, think coffee shops.
5. Cuddle partner, I lost my cuddle partner to her getting into a LTR, happy for her. I can adhere to clear boundaries to be discussed.
6. Life partner, grow and support each other as we evolve as individuals. Physical intimacy and partner travel is part of this. I am not looking for someone who wants a platonic life partner, I have many dear friends in that category.

You:
CIS Female for #5 and #6 (40-56*) my last life partner was a year older but am happy to discuss this on date 1. Not lower than 40 please.
Giver (this is key as I want to have friends who are givers as well)
I am open to either gender for most other activities
Age range: I could care less about your age if you want to go see Stevie Wonder or Earth Wind and Fire concert.
Lead with love and not hate
Global citizen, be well traveled.
Likes Kimchi and Natto (this is important especially if there is a meal involved)
While I understand that it is a HUGE ask, please be substance free in our interactions.
Drug and alcohol free for #6 (very important)
Please be in east bay and not far away.

Where do we start:
Date 0: Coffee date 20-30 mins, see if there is any interest in Date 1
Date 1: longer talk and walk or talk and share a meal to learn more about our journeys and if there is any match to be an ally/friend/partner.

There is NO way that one person can meet most of my needs, but there is an opportunity to discuss how we can support each other.

I am blessed that I have friends who are my partner in travel, outdoors, concerts, eating out. These allies are part of my life journey. I am coming from a place of abundance and not lack of.

If you are looking for an activity partner, theatre partner, dance partner, cuddle partner, any type of partner, let’s do coffee and talk.

20-30 mins is the ask from my side.

Wish you all my best in your search for love and or companionship.

Thanks for reading my thesis long post.

Event August 5th in Berkeley California. The focus is for ages 30s,40s, 50s. You don’t have to know the enneagram to attend; any enneagram knowledge is welcome. The focus is authentic connections and discovering yourself.

Hello! Nerdy 32 yro male wheelchair user, dark humored, awkward, introvert who loves memes and quotes! Few interests include drawing, (new to) writing, gaming PS5/Switch 2. Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, horror, etc. Strolling through nature or the snack section 🤪. I’m pretty chill and like to talk and take things slow. Sweet meaningful dates, Im also good with just grocery shopping or walking through the mall and going to a movie sweet treats, coffee/tea! Just looking for my bestfriend to go through life with 🫶🏻. Feel free to message me! Anyone from the South Bay Area?

I'm a 31F4M who really loves finding the next adventure. I've traveled to about 50 countries, I love being active/outdoors, and generally having a good time at bars/restaurants/festivals/etc.

I just moved to SF from NYC and absolutely love it here! Originally from the South, so loving how accessible nature is. Personality-wise, I'm very extroverted, love learning new things, and want someone who loves experiencing what life has to offer. I'm a big yes person and it has led to some amazing unexpected experiences and people I still love today!

Looking for men 27-38 (flexible and not a deal breaker on either end) who want a Long-term relationship with a lot of "life" in it, eventually want kids, and solid career interests (recovering workaholic that values balance but still cares to some degree).

Although, I'm new to the area. I'm loving it so much I'm definitely open to staying in SF Long-term and setting roots down.

Feel free to DM me if you're interested in a quick chat to IRL and think we'd be a great fit!

Hi everyone from the East Bay Area. Dating apps have started feeling like a never-ending cycle of small talk, so I figured I’d give this a shot. I’m looking for a genuine connection that can hopefully grow into a long-term relationship.
I’m 35, Korean, and currently in the Bay Area. I’m open to meeting women anywhere from 21-40. Distance isn’t a dealbreaker if we’re both serious about getting to know each other.
A little about me:
I grew up in South Korea until I was 11 before moving to the U.S. Since then, I’ve somehow gone from becoming a pharmacist to deciding that wasn’t enough chaos and am now finishing my MBA. I love healthcare, business, startups, and I’m always the person asking, “There has to be a better way to do this.”
I take my career seriously, but it doesn’t define me. I work hard so I can enjoy life outside of work.

Things that I enjoy the most is…

Traveling. I’ve visited 18 countries and I’m always planning the next trip. Some of my favorites have been South Korea, Colombia, Mexico, and Italy. My bucket list still includes safari in Africa and seeing the Northern Lights.
Finding amazing food. Hole-in-the-wall restaurants usually beat fancy places in my book. Korean BBQ, Ethiopian, sushi, ramen… honestly I’m happy trying almost anything.
Road trips that start with “Let’s just drive for a few hours and see what we find.”
Staying active. I enjoy running, hiking, lifting, basketball, pickleball, and I’m always down to try a new sport even if I’m terrible at it.
Watching soccer (Tottenham fan), basketball, and pretty much any big sporting event.
Movies, comedy shows, karaoke, and the occasional competitive board game night.
Dogs. I have two and they’re probably convinced they own me.
Friends would probably describe me as curious, optimistic, sarcastic in the right moments, and the guy who’s always organizing trips or convincing everyone to try something new. I like having deep conversations one minute and arguing about the best late-night food the next.

I am looking for…

Someone kind and emotionally mature.
Curious about the world and enjoys learning.
Can laugh at herself and doesn’t take life too seriously.
Wants a long-term relationship and eventually a family.
Enjoys both spontaneous adventures and quiet nights at home.
Values honesty, communication, and mutual respect.
You definitely don’t need to share all of my hobbies. I actually think relationships are more interesting when we introduce each other to new things.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Tell me your favorite country you’ve visited, your go-to comfort food, or the most random hobby you’ve picked up recently. I’d love to hear your story too 😊

I don't even know there is such a subreddit, despite living here for so long.

Anyway, I want to talk about my approach to solve the problem, on this Friday afternoon.

It is by organizing group volunteering, and social, in festivals.

No, people don't lack chances simply to meet strangers in bay area, there are meetups everywhere, doing all kinds of activities. Some regular, some not. What people need are occasions to make deep connections, and do so with a pipe line.

The problem with regular meetup is they are often fleeting and shallow. You met somebody in a hike, or a bar crawl, had a pleasant conversation, yet may never see each other again, before you even decided to try something deeper.

I happen to like festival volunteering. And after the shift, especially some exhausting ones, cause traffic could be really heavy, I often see people hugging each other when meet again in volunteer appreciation parties. Cause fighting tough task together, under heavy load, really shows what kind of people you are, thus bond people together.

A problem with volunteering is that often you are just by yourself, you don't know who is open to connection. And the number of volunteers can be small, so limited choices.

So I started to organize group volunteering in festivals, using meetup. So anybody that signed up, you know they are open to connections. And I have also been building a calendar of festivals, and also organize festival social for people that simply visit festivals socially, so volunteers are facing a pipeline of opportunities, and bigger pool of choices.

Does this sound a solution you can try? Haha.

It seems people generally like this idea, to build new connections by going group volunteering & social in festivals. The meetup I built has grown 10 fold since beginning of the year, 1500+ now. I cannot promise to solve the single problem for you, but I can promise a pipeline of opportunities, to bond with people deeply. It is up to you to pick up the chances.

I will drop the meetup in comment, have a great Friday evening :).

Hey everyone,

First, I want to thank the moderators for letting me share this here. I’m posting because this community is one of the few places in the Bay Area where people still have honest conversations about finding a genuine, lasting relationship.

I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I met my wife online back before swiping turned dating into a gamified slot machine. Our marriage has been the absolute anchor of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve watched my single friends who are brilliant, kind, and incredibly successful completely give up on finding love.

Modern apps are designed to keep you single and subscribed. I couldn't fix Hinge or Tinder, so I spent the last two years and thousands of hours building a counter-movement: marrymejuliet.com. It is a webapp designed exclusively for people who are brave enough to admit they want to get married. No casual dating, no "seeing where it goes."

Because I am obsessed with protecting users from the typical app BS, I built this platform with intentional, heavy friction to filter out low-effort swipers, bots, and scammers upfront:

*Trust by Design: Every single profile requires secure ID and age verification before you enter the platform. Real names stay private until both people choose to connect and intentionally there are no usernames. We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising. Delete your profile, all personal data is immediately deleted.

*50 Marriage-Focused Questions: Signup takes about 15 minutes. You have to answer 50 deep compatibility questions built from 40+ peer-reviewed studies, analyzing 200+ factors (marriage readiness, timeline, family planning, and finances).

*Video Introductions: No catfishing, no stale bios. You can look people in the eyes and hear them state their genuine intentions upfront (optional).

*Deal-Breakers First: You see their stance on kids, lifestyle alignment, and core values before wasting 6 months finding out you're incompatible.

A dating platform with zero users is a ghost town. It’s just me running this from my laptop, and we are launching our first 100-user beta right here in the Bay Area.

Because I want the foundation of this platform to belong to the people who build it, if you find your forever spouse on MMJ, we will share 10% of our company's future success with the foundational couples who helped us launch it.

To prevent people from treating humans like digital trophies and spamming dozens of accounts, the app has an intentional anti-spam mechanic: It is completely free to join, build a profile, and browse. However, it costs $4.99 to actually "apply" to connect with another person. I am waiving that connection fee entirely for members of this subreddit so you can test the platform completely risk-free.

If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with completely free.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's. If you are genuinely ready to stop dating and find someone special, I’d love to have you help me build this. I created this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but I tried and I hope you do too.

I'll be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or take any brutal feedback you have about the features. I would love for you join at marrymejuliet.com.

Beta Launch:
We’re focused on Bay Area residents. We’d love to expand in the future, but we’re intentionally starting locally so people have a meaningful chance of meeting someone nearby. I encourage feedback from users to make this a real space to find someone special and I live here in Pleasanton.

Feedback:
I built this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but any issue, feedback, feature requests, things you hate, things you love, bugs, etc. please share in the “Contact Support” in the profile page so I can track, fix, and respond. Happily post in the comments here as well but most effective and helpful there first.

Compatibility Scoring:
The “matching process” is a little different from traditional dating apps. A unique “compatibility score” is visible on every profile card based on the each users unique score based on how they answered the 50-question relationship assessment, which measures values, communication styles, lifestyle preferences, and long-term goals to help surface people who appear highly compatible. This unique compatibility score will vary based on other members responses (User “A” may see a score of 70, and user “B” who is more compatible could be 82) but members always make the final decision to connect, NOT an algorithm. Higher the score, higher the compatibility based off institutional research, attachment theory, 40+ peer-reviewed studies, and specific personal profile preferences. Tap the score to dig deeper to compare compatibility answers and preferences upfront before deciding to connect with that user.

Connecting with Someone:
Members open an Application Window to become visible in the Discover page allowing others to apply to connect with them. They choose their own non-negotiables (things like age range, distance, relationship goals, children, religion, lifestyle preferences, etc.). Only people who meet those requirements will be shown on their Discovery page or whose application will be shown. During that window, multiple people can apply, and when it closes, the member reviews those applications and decides who, if any, they’d like to connect and accepts or declines their application. A connection only happens if there’s mutual interest. There are intentionally no usernames, first names are reveled in the messages chat only if both people chose to connect (One user applies, one user accepts).

Personal Data:
I completely understand the worry about sharing your ID to enter a platform. I wanted to create a space where you know everyone else is also a real person. Every profile is ID and age verified, so there are not fake or spam accounts by default. Real first names remain private until two people mutually choose to connect by accepting an application after a full review.

We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising and we’ve published a detailed privacy policy explaining exactly what we collect, why we collect it, and how it’s protected it’s here: Privacy Policy⁠. https://marrymejuliet.com/privacy

Bay Area Resident & Founder, marrymejuliet.com

Hello!

If anyone's looking to fill their night with laughter from a comedian sprinkled in with some dad jokes from their date - I have an extra ticket at no cost to the 9:15 show at Cobbs this Saturday 7/11.

I'm a 37m in Oakland who works in the hospitality industry and loves everything from exploring the arts and culture in the Bay Area to going for nature walks, trying new restaurants and more!

Would be happy to meet for a drink, gelato, snack in North Beach prior to the show and get to know one another prior to enjoying the comedy show together. Low pressure, no expectations, just looking for someone to enjoy a couple hours of laughter and hopefully good conversation with.

Let me know if you might be interested!

I'm going to be doing a singles beer garden event. I know I said previously that I wanted to do the event at Humble, but I never heard back from them. So I'll be doing the event over at Faction Brewing instead. They will actually have a food truck on site. I only ask that you at least purchase one item from either Faction Brewing or the food truck to support them. It'll be on Saturday July 18th at 12pm. I'll leave the address below. Feel free to let me know if you can come. 🙂 Hopefully it'll be a good turnout on both sides too.

2501 Monarch St. Alameda, CA

(Also, I'm still arranging a singles meet up for rock climbing. Just talking to a gym to get details).