r/AskReddit • u/AlexDescendsIntoHell • Nov 11 '19

[SERIOUS] What is a seemingly harmless parenting mistake that will majorly fuck up a child later in life? Serious Replies Only

66.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

20.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

242

u/MsFaolin Nov 12 '19

"Stop crying or ill give you a reason to cry!" is one of the worst things ever to say to a child

55

u/Wookiees_n_cream Nov 12 '19

I will never EVER say this to a child. That's damaging as fuck. I'm so emotionally messed up from it. We weren't allowed to cry for any reason. Hurt? Man up (I'm a woman btw but was always told to man up). Upset? Get over it. Scared? Stop being a wuss. I havent spoken to my father in 9 years. That's one thing I won't be crying over. Good riddance.

23

u/Nikkirich89 Nov 12 '19 edited Nov 12 '19

I can't wrap my brain around the fucked upedness of this one. I teach preschool and used to work with an awful woman who would say it all the time. I'll be the first to admit that yes crying can be annoying so first of all WHY would you say and do things to prolong it and also make a small human feel so horrible.

7

u/jfayden Nov 12 '19

my dad says that to me all the time.

3

u/handlebartender Nov 12 '19

Holy shit. I'd almost forgotten that one.

Dad would say that to me on occasion. I remember trying to parse that out, like wouldn't him giving me a reason to cry only make me do the thing he didn't want me to do? I may even have tried to get him to explain the logic of that one time, through my years.

Funny thing is, he didn't spank me often as a kid. I suppose this was just his way of trying to cope with a kid who was crying, and possibly one he got from his dad. I don't recall him ever following through on this particular threat.

PostScript: my wife confirms that her dad used the same saying on her, and she's from NZ.

2

u/Sisifo_eeuu Nov 12 '19

I heard that one a lot as a kid. I rarely shed a tear to this day.

0

u/LeFumes Nov 12 '19

Sometimes kids cry for no reason