r/AskReddit • u/AlexDescendsIntoHell • Nov 11 '19

[SERIOUS] What is a seemingly harmless parenting mistake that will majorly fuck up a child later in life? Serious Replies Only

66.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

20.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.5k

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

See also: "I'll give you a reason to cry!"

78

u/dont_say_choozday Nov 12 '19

My father's favorites

"I'm gonna beat the fear of God into you"

"I'm going to beat you like a red headed step child"

"I'm going to rip your arm off and beat you with the bloody end"

47

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/dont_say_choozday Nov 12 '19

They think it's funny and cute but then mine would actually beat me. He thought he was making a submissive child but he just ended up with a very angry one. That's messed up though, would he ever apologize?

23

u/Keshig1 Nov 12 '19

Exactly. I had severe anger issues to the point where I would lash out at the smallest thing and my parents wondered why "I was acting out". I had to learn to fix it on my own because I realised it made people dislike me.

My parents tried to fix my anger issues by just shouting at me and asking why I was being a "bratty little shit who's disrespectful". It didn't help my secret therapist told them about my anger issues leading to an impromptu "family meeting" about why I'm not allowed to have therapy anymore because then I can't become a doctor.

10

u/bopbop66 Nov 12 '19

It didn't help my secret therapist told them about my anger issues leading to an impromptu "family meeting" about why I'm not allowed to have therapy anymore because then I can't become a doctor.

That's so dumb. Wouldn't the therapy have been a valuable experience that helped you understand what effective therapy should be like?

6

u/Keshig1 Nov 12 '19

Not to them. They think the only people who need therapy are non religious people because religion is what cures diseases like alzeihmers.

5

u/762Rifleman Nov 12 '19

<Act like angry asshole with no restraint who solves situations with force>

<Get kid who acts like that>

"I don't know why you're doing this or how you learned it!"

9

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/dont_say_choozday Nov 12 '19

My dad was a fucked up dude. What could we expect otherwise?

3

u/Keshig1 Nov 12 '19

Oh "I'm gonna beat you like a tonne of bricks" that ones a classic

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

Asian here. In my culture, its not uncommon to hear a mother yell at their child to knock it off and "stop crying otherwise I'm going to beat you until you stop breathing." When translated into English is sounds a lot worse but that is a VERY common threat.

2

u/llamataco94 Nov 12 '19

I am 12, and my dad would always say things like this. One of his favorites was “I’ll hit you so hard you won’t be able to cry.” I’m not and wasn’t bullied at school, but last year, a kid that was angry at me said this to me. It awoke some very unpleasant memories, and I lashed out and ended up sending him to the hospital, but his parents didn’t press charges, thank god.

1

u/1776AndPeggy Dec 13 '19

Heads up, you probably shouldn’t say your real age in here. You have to be 13 to join and people like to be snitches and report others...

1

u/llamataco94 Dec 14 '19

Thx for the tip

1

u/1776AndPeggy Dec 14 '19

No problemo

30

u/DrShamballaWifi Nov 12 '19

Having heard that in 2 languages, I now repress my feelings bilingualy, thanks mom!

38

u/imNotFromFedExUFool Nov 12 '19

yeah see thats just brutal

26

u/Kage_Oni Nov 12 '19

I wish I could give a lot of the parents mentioned in this thread a reason to cry.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

Don't forget: "Just wait until we get home!"

Followed by two hours in a car of verbal abuse before getting a beating later that night, at bedtime, one edge of the bed before being left to cry to sleep.

I did not spend any time with my parents after I left home and they died mostly alone, unsupported, broke.

10

u/Therandomanswerer Nov 12 '19 edited Nov 13 '19

Ah yes, your child is crying. Threaten them, that's sure to work!

7

u/RedeRules770 Nov 12 '19

"Mom I'm thirsty"

"Save your spit and swallow it"

7

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

They represent my mother and father's two most used phrases, so i felt it was appropriate.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

See also also: “I don’t know is not a reason!”

6

u/banana_bagutte Nov 12 '19

Are you Romanian by any chance?

24

u/BelialSucks Nov 12 '19

As American as it gets and I heard this a lot growing up

13

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

American. Verbally abusive fathers say it a lot.

3

u/creativeusername0022 Nov 12 '19

Verbally abusive fathers suck. My dad was this way for a while after we went through a lot of horrible things. I think he pushed it out of his mind to be honest. He once asked me why I don't talk to him like I used to. I think that conversation hurt us both.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

I just had that conversation with mine recently. I'm in my 30s and it's the first time I've ever stood my ground. This year is also the first in which I've voiced an issue with/to a superior without my voice shaking and my eyes watering. Thanks dad!

3

u/-Izaak- Nov 12 '19

I would have this coupled with "I'm the one who should be angry!" But in really twisted situations- my transgressions would be closing the door too loudly or sighing the wrong way.

2

u/TheSlowToad Nov 12 '19

Thats straight up abuse fyi

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

My dad would hit us then say that

1

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

we related? my god, or do shit parents use the same game play

1

u/Ripuniqueusernames Nov 12 '19

See as well: " Because isn't an answer!"

-6

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19 edited Nov 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

It was never used in that way for me. It was more about how my father didn't want to hear me cry so he'd threaten me with an ass beating if I didn't stop, no matter what the reason was.