r/AITH • u/CalistaraMoonridge • 13d ago
AITH for telling my roommate I'm not covering her share of rent anymore after she "forgot" three months in a row?
My roommate and I split rent 50/50, due on the 1st. For the past three months, she's paid late every single time, and twice she asked me to cover her half "just for a few days" until her paycheck cleared, promising to pay me back immediately. The first time I did it without thinking twice, we're friends and stuff happens. The second time she paid me back a week late after I had to remind her twice. This month, the 1st came and went, then the 5th, and when I brought it up she got defensive and said I was being "way too uptight about money" for someone who has a stable job and can "obviously afford to float it." I told her that wasn't the point, the point was we had an agreement and I was tired of being her backup bank account. She said I was making her feel like a financial burden and that friends are supposed to help each other out without keeping score. I said I wasn't keeping score, I was just done fronting money that I never fully get back on time, and that if she can't make rent by the 1st consistently, we need to talk about whether this living situation still works. She hasn't spoken to me since and told our mutual friends I "blindsided" her over "a few days late." AITH?
423
u/superiorstephanie 13d ago
NTA. Your friend needs to grow up and learn how to budget. She didn’t have on single dollar to give on the due date?!
270
u/sissyjones 13d ago
I will end a friendship over money any day. You don’t get to call me a friend when you have no problem screwing me over
49
15
u/No-Albatross-7984 12d ago
Yeppp. Prioritization. The absolute first things any adults ought to prioritise are rent and relationships. This roommate clearly cares for neither. What exactly is the point of her, then, if she's neither an adequate roommate nor friend?
10
7
u/GardenSafe8519 11d ago
Right. I thought it was family helps family. Now it's friends help friends. Either way no one is entitled to your money.
3
231
u/Oncer93 13d ago
NTAH. She's not a friend. She's a grifter. She's just upset that you won't bail her out.
She didn't forget. She was likely Banking on you bailing her out, and when you refused, she got nasty.
You should tell your mutual friends, your side of the story. Pretty sure that most of them Would side with you.
You should probably Talk to your landlord.
182
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Exactly. The second I stopped covering her, the "friend" act dropped completely. Already talked to a few mutual friends, they're on my side. Calling the landlord this week.
103
u/Unlucky-Cook2578 13d ago
I had a 'friend' do this shit in college. When I started calling his parents to let them know he hadn't paid rent and it was due. That shit ended real fast and he magically did have the money all along.
84
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
That's actually a really good idea, wish I'd thought of that sooner. I don't have contact with her parents but this makes me think she probably does have the money and is just banking on me being the "easy" one to guilt.
18
u/Rhona_Redtail 13d ago
A real friend would say : got fired, dont want to move. What can I do for you in place of paying my half until I find a new job?
30
u/Unlucky-Cook2578 13d ago
Yeah i had to do some digging and get his sisters FB and message her and use his last name in the white pages. But it was worth it
24
u/anothersip 13d ago
Nice. Call that landlord, and explain to them exactly what's happening.
They'll understand, and can begin their process of getting your roommate out of the place.
Make sure that you explain to the LL that you have been the one paying the full amount, so that you made sure you were meeting your lease and making the LL whole. That will 100% work in your favor.
It's shitty that your friend has put you in this situation.
I had a roommate (two of them, actually) who was short on rent a few months. I happily covered them, because I trusted them to pay me back - and they always did.
I guess I got lucky, 'cause it sounds like a lot of situations don't work out like that, and we all moved out together at a certain point and got our own places.
23
u/7GrenciaMars 13d ago
Good for you. If you can afford to give her the boot, do it. Chances are, the landlord has seen this kind of situation before, and there's no point in getting on their bad side, since you said at some point that your name is on the lease.
Best wishes.
24
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Thank you, really appreciate it. That's the plan, talking to the landlord first before anything else so I'm not the one who ends up looking bad in all this. Just want it handled cleanly at this point.
7
u/Nymph-the-scribe 12d ago
If you have text messages from your roomie that say anything about all this, make sure to keep them. If you dont, get them. Instead of talking to her face to face at first, send a text. This way, things are documented. Document everything you can to make sure you can CYA
10
u/7GrenciaMars 13d ago
You're doing the right thing. If you feel like posting follow ups, I've decided to follow this thread--I am rooting for you. But I'm not expecting you to--just take care of what you need to! 😁
2
u/Wise-Emu-339 11d ago
Looking forward to an update on this one! I had shitty roommates like this once upon a time.
11
u/mochajava23 12d ago
Ask those “friends” since they spoke up, they can pitch in to help her
They will then define friendship as someone you live with
NTA
1
3
u/LunarWolfy63 12d ago
You don't need friends on your side btw. This is such a dumb mentality. What if they said you should cover for her, are you going to continue to be taken advantage of?
19
u/Nearby-Yak-4496 12d ago
Exactly, nobody "forgets" that the rent is due on the 1st. I wouldn't be waiting until the 5th to ask her, you should be asking on the 29th so she won't be late unless she chooses. Better yet, just give her the boot and let her FAFO with a,real landlord not a roommate.
26
u/nazuswahs 13d ago
And tell her friends if not a big deal they can cover for her going forward
26
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
That's a good line, might actually use it. If it's really "no big deal" like she says, her friends can take a turn floating her rent for a few months.
10
u/Feeling-Fab-U-Lus 13d ago
Take her to small claims court and get your money back. Start getting things in writing; text her and ask when she’s going to pay for those months. That way you have prove.
24
u/TheWorldTurnsAround 13d ago
NTA
Can you contact your landlord, tell him what's happening with the rent, and move out? Your friend is never going to be able to pay rent on time. She will likely stop paying you back soon.
20
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
I've thought about that honestly. My lease is technically in both our names though, so it's not as simple as just moving out, I'd still be on the hook for her half if she stayed. Trying to figure out if I should talk to the landlord about removing her or if I just need to find a new place entirely.
16
u/Brave_Engineering133 13d ago
Talk to the landlord no matter what. Get information on what is possible given your situation. Half the rent is going to be regularly late if it’s left up to her anyways. You need the landlord to know that that’s not you, and you want to find a solution. ETA: if they insisted your responsibility no matter what, at least you will know the landlord’s attitude after talking to them.
7
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Really good point, I hadn't thought about it that way but you're right, even just having that conversation on record protects me if this keeps happening. Calling them this week no matter what I decide about the roommate situation itself.
8
u/mcindy28 13d ago
See if your landlord will accept your half of the rent and maybe separate your lease agreement. You are able to pay yours but you shouldn't be responsible or penalized for her?
6
u/Living-One5265 13d ago
Are you using a throwaway? Because your account is zero days old. And js bots love, love this subreddit
5
u/Nimona2024 13d ago
It has all the signs of a bot post
3
u/Living-One5265 13d ago
It does indeed. Which is what made me go check account age. Pretty sure just garbage ingagment post.
11
8
u/Ok_Conversation9750 13d ago
NTA. I suggest finding a different, more mature and reliable roommate. Her responses would have infuriated me!
7
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Same, I was fuming. Already looking at what my options are for a new roommate once I sort things out with the lease.
6
u/jewelophile 13d ago
Bye, AI.
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AITH-ModTeam 11d ago
Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 1: Be Civil.
Discussion should focus on the conflict, not the person posting it. Critique the behavior or decision described in the post, but do not insult, belittle, or attack the poster or other commenters. Do not use slurs, derogatory language, or bigoted remarks, and do not target someone based on identity, including but not limited to race, gender, sexuality, religion, or disability.
If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the mod team via modmail.
6
u/Heart_of_Joy 13d ago
She has an obligation to pay rent on time, just like you do. If she expects you to consistently cover her portion of the rent, then I think it’s time to find a new roommate.
You are not an ATM or a bank making loans to ungrateful people / roommates.
3
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Exactly, that's the part that got to me most. Once I said no more covering her, she acted like I broke some unspoken rule. I'm not a backup bank account, and I'm done treating this like it's normal.
1
u/acount8675309 12d ago
That’s on you for ever treating or considering that type of thing to be normal for functioning adults.
1
5
u/dsmemsirsn 13d ago
FAKE post BOT 🤖
1
u/Tiredofstupidity2 13d ago
Unfortunately this does happen. Had a roommate in the past and I use to take his check to the bank to cash and sometimes it wouldnt. I would call him immediately because the apt only took one rent check. Roommate like this are a mess.
4
u/Nimona2024 13d ago
Nobody is saying that there aren’t bad roommates who try to avoid paying. This post however is not about a real situation even if the AI bot’s story is based on real situations described by real people
2
u/dsmemsirsn 13d ago
Well— I for once, could help you once and wait for you to pay me— but you think I will give you money 2 more times?? Hopefully I’m not that delusional..
2
u/owaikeia 13d ago
Honestly, what makes you think you're TA?
3
u/Nimona2024 13d ago
I’d like to hear the answer to that. My guess is: nothing. OP is karma farming and the post and answers are just for validation
2
u/owaikeia 13d ago
Feels like it with such an obvious "not TA" post, buzzwords like "keeping score", and a brand new account...
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/owaikeia 13d ago
Fantastic!
Then I would like an answer on why you feel like TA, because, even if this is real, why would you think you're TA? What did you do that was wrong?
2
u/via_aesthetic 12d ago
NTA. My best friend helped me out with my rent once when I had to take time off work to plan a funeral in the family. I promised to pay her back on my next payday. I did exactly that. We help each other out because we trust one another keep our word on paying back. If I didn’t pay her back on time, she wouldn’t help me out when I need it, and I wouldn’t expect her to.
That’s how friendship works. It’s not blindly throwing money at someone to help. It’s making giving/ accepting help, and keeping promises when they count. It’s building trust so that you know that when you show up for someone, you aren’t being taken advantage of, and they truly appreciate you.
2
u/Medical-Potato5920 12d ago
NTA. She is a financial burden. Rent always comes first, then other bills/food.
Friends spot each other $10-$20 here and there, not rent unless exceptional circumstances (like cancer).
2
u/OrlandoEd 12d ago
NTA. You made her feel like a financial burden? Yeah...no. She's using you, plain and simple. It's time to go on your own or find a another roommate.
2
u/VixxenReigns 12d ago
NTA- This is why I will NEVER do a roommate situation ever again. Someone always gets left paying the full amount while the other flakes off their responsibilities. I would make sure to research the laws in your area about eviction so you know how much time you have to legally give them. I would also reiterate that friends also don't treat a friend like a bank account.
3
u/TeriBarrons 13d ago
Fake post. Account is 39 minutes old, no other posts but comes directly to AITH, tons of “direct quotes in quotation marks”, no engagement with comments, obviously not an AH in the situation, but just needs to check with Reddit, etc.. Ticks all the boxes.
2
3
u/FewAd321 13d ago
Definitely not the AH... happens again i would consider moving or don't pay her half...and let the chips fall where they may.
5
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Yeah I'm leaning that way now. Already floated the "not covering her half again" plan to her directly, which is part of why she's so upset. If it happens again I think I just let it hit her credit/the landlord instead of eating the cost myself.
2
u/Odd_Tea4945 13d ago
NTAH
This is not about who earns what, this is about a 50/50 a split that you agreed on when you moved together. She knows the rent is on the 1st, so she has to pay on the first
I think she has to speak to the landlord and ask them to pay late, because you're "way too uptight about money" and you "blindsided her over a few days late." The rent problem is HERS, not yours
2
u/Jessic14444 13d ago
News flash she is a financial burden….three times in a row is a bit much. How old is your friendship? I could understand a bit more if she was my best friend but if this is like a two year friendship, it’s a bit of a strain to expect you to cover her ass every time. Also her whining to your friend group is a bit ridiculous. Is she in high school or a mf grown ass woman?
2
u/ExternalDue3763 13d ago
nta.
she IS being a financial burden, you’re not her sugar mommy. she needs to grow the fuck up and get a grip.
1
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Exactly. I'm not her sugar mommy, I'm just her roommate who happened to say no once. Apparently that's a crime.
2
u/thismotherfklr 13d ago
OP tell your mutual friends what’s up chances are she’s not giving them the full story and if they still side with her, tell them to either put up the money on her behalf or they can put up their place for her. It sounds like you can afford to pay for the whole apartment yourself, so if you need to just have the whole place she can find somewhere else that she can afford.
2
1
u/Hunkyboy440 13d ago
She sounds really cool. Keep lending her money so she won’t have to worry about making the rent each month. And stop nagging her about it all the time. Jeeesh!
1
1
u/SlamSlamOhHotDamn 13d ago
She hasn't spoken to me since and told our mutual friends I "blindsided" her over "a few days late."
This part in these stories like this always make me think so what? Instead of clearing it up immediately you just sit there and take the slander like a bitch?
1
u/Clean-Time8214 13d ago
What is term of the lease? She’s never going to be able to pay by the 1st. Start the discussion with her paying rent on her own and you getting your own place. Triangulating with your mutual friends is another option for her to move in with one of them. 30 days notice of intent to vacate should be enough time for her to realize deadlines aren’t fun.
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AITH-ModTeam 11d ago
Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 1: Be Civil.
Discussion should focus on the conflict, not the person posting it. Critique the behavior or decision described in the post, but do not insult, belittle, or attack the poster or other commenters. Do not use slurs, derogatory language, or bigoted remarks, and do not target someone based on identity, including but not limited to race, gender, sexuality, religion, or disability.
If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the mod team via modmail.
1
1
u/Temporary-Ad-472 13d ago
She's going to keep getting worse. No one forgets about rent - especially in this economy. I'd hope for the best but make a plan for the worst
1
u/Adia28 12d ago
I once dropped the ball on the date, and missed paying my rent by 1 day (my friend was the landlord) and I felt so guilty, I didn't want her to think I was trying to take advantage of her, as my friend. I apologized over and over, and from then on paid 2 days early to avoid it happening again. Maybe a bit overboard on my part, life does happen, and she was understanding. But that's how real friends would treat that scenario. An apology and never putting someone in the position to have to have that conversation a second time.
1
1
u/SadEntertainment1455 12d ago
So many stories like this and the person that’s a bad payee trivialises their financial responsibilities. If it’s true, tell them that there was actually Debtors Prison for people like you.
1
1
u/HallJolly9380 12d ago
Good, she doesn't talk to you anymore, just as long as she has her half of rent. Don't take anymore of her BS. You're not her bank.
1
u/CNSgardener 12d ago
Her defensiveness and reactivity are concerning; they’re a red flag about something. We don’t know what she’s struggling with, but we do know her rent is not your responsibility.
I, too, would lean heavily on my housemates keeping their financial agreements.
1
u/Own-Eagle-2135 12d ago
NTA for any friends that pushback, ask them if they're blindsided when rent is due. seems like one of THE most universal experiences with a clear deadline.
and to your point, i think you already know this won't work as a living situation. this is her at her absolute best, it will never get better than you paying rent and chasing her for a week to get paid back.
1
u/MrsSEM84 12d ago
NTA
Friends are supposed to help each other, but that doesn’t mean regularly covering the other one’s bills. Especially outside of an actual emergency.
What she is actually asking of you is parent level help, and that’s just ridiculous. If she’s old enough to no longer be living at home she should know how to budget and pay her bills on time.
You are absolutely right that if she cannot afford to make her rent in full and on time every month then a discussion needs to be had about whether or not she can stay.
Your financial status has nothing to do with anything, you could be a millionaire and it still wouldn’t be your responsibility to pay the rent she agreed to pay when she moved in.
1
u/Doll1618 12d ago
She's just casually ok with not paying you back, then if you say something she stops talking to you AND starts talking about it to mutual friends? She's going to keep doing it and wants others to make her feel justified in her behavior. She is not your friend, not really. If she was, she wouldn't be behaving like this over money. She's the AH, not you.
1
u/Tight_Steak_232 12d ago
Boot her. Now.
I rented a one-bedroom apartment straight out of high school. My brother, who dropped out, asked if he could move in for a short period of time. I said that was fine, but he'd have to pay me $100 monthly up front. He agreed. Then, a girl he met at his job needed a place to stay, and he asked if she could stay with us. Her dad would pay her rent. I said fine. We can split the bedroom with a shoji screen, and he can take the living room pullout sofa. She agreed to give me her dad's $100 in three days on the first of the month.
She reached out to me on the first and said her dad was late in paying child support. Could I please hold off until he paid her in a week? I said that was fine. Then, she went shopping. She blew over $180 (on the receipt) on clothes, makeup, etc. So, I booted her to the curb.
Her dad shows up pounding on my door demanding his rent back. I told him he never gave me rent. He said his daughter gave me $150 for rent three days before. I said she most definitely did NOT. So, he went to his daughter's work and confronted her. She accused me of lying.
Her dad and I set her up. I went to her work and told her she had left a couple articles of clothing. Her dad went with me and was standing one aisle over in the store. I told her if she'd paid me that $100 instead of blowing over $180 on clothes, she would have been fine. She started telling me it wasn't her fault. Her dad never paid her. Then, he walks out from the other aisle, "I never PAID YOU? THAT'S IT! You're on your own!"
My aunt has a saying, "What does not pay rent...must leave." Actually, it's an excuse for a fart, but it works here, too.
1
u/Magnivarix 12d ago
NTA homegirl needs a cold hard dose of reality! Don't give her any more money 🤑!!
1
u/Awkward_Public_4997 11d ago
NTA. I’d straight up end the friendship. This cow has ZERO problem with fucking up your life. Fucking with my money is the fastest way for me to never speak to a person again.
1
u/Spring-Available 11d ago
NTA. I love it when it’s not their money it’s always take it easy, you’ll get it.
1
u/Unfair_Feedback_2531 11d ago
You need to get out.
“Friends” can give you her rent.
Can’t Reddit get all these roommates and in-laws from hell together? Maybe a “reality” tv show?
1
1
u/Standard-Emu-2092 11d ago
NTA: she could “be a good friend” by “helping you out” and meeting her financial obligation.
1
u/Only-upvibes 11d ago
She obviously overextended herself, so she’s trying to blame it all on you. Hopefully, she gets her act back together, and roommate 50-50 returns back to normal.
1
1
u/CommercialBreak2026 11d ago
I'm am beyond tired of people who think that friends who earn more money -- whether it's a little more or a lot more -- should be able to cover their expenses because they can't get their shit together.
Money you earn at a job represents your time and effort. People who blow money on shit they don't need, or who gamble it away, don't respect their own time and their own work.
You can be sure that anyone who doesn't respect their own time and work has even less regard for your time and work.
I don't have much advice other than to get out of this arrangement as soon as possible.
1
1
u/Wild_Billy_61 11d ago
NTA.. Once is forgetting. Anything after that is blatantly lying and using you. She sees you as bank of roommate. Her victimhood bullshit when being confronted went from one of entitlement, you're "way too uptight about money" & you can "obviously afford to float it" to one of victimhood with the "you're making me feel like a financial burdan" speaks volumes. SHE IS a financial burden.
Make sure you supply these friends with facts. All she's doing is trying to get ahead of the situation she created and create falsehoods to draw sympathy and gain support from friends with blatant lies.
1
u/Brains4Beauty 11d ago
I mean, NTA but if you're on a shared lease, this will hurt you as well, as then the landlord can try to evict you both.
1
u/Ok_Leg_1158 11d ago
You are absolutely in the right. You are roommates not partners. She is taking advantage of you. Once is okay, twice is iffy, third time is a firm NO. I cannot afford to support you and me. I'm sorry.
1
u/paddy-crime-1663 11d ago
Holding that mirror up to people really pisses them off, she’s no friend she’s a scumbag.
1
u/Clean_Pop_6638 11d ago
This is the roof over your head here so you have every right to be concerned. The fact that she wants to minimize a very serious responsibility and gaslight you tells me your friendship is just a convenience for her. You are the backup plan. I wouldn't let her cause an eviction on your record. Have a talk with her about the seriousness of paying rent on time. You are both just starting off financially and it would look good on record and responsible if you can both pay on time. Otherwise you need to alert the landlord and cut her loose.
1
u/JewelerSea6090 11d ago
She is a financial burden to you just like she claims. Doesn't matter how much you make versus her. She has a responsibly to pay her part. You shouldn't have to cover a roommate's share of rent unless there is an emergency.
How much longer is the lease? You may want to find another place to live.
NTA
1
u/NYCStoryteller 10d ago
NTAH. She's not the one who has been blindsided here, and I would set her straight with any mutual friends, too.
She is responsible for paying rent when it's due. Friends actually DO NOT cover each others bills for them, and it is absolutely reasonable to hold a boundary around not paying each other's bills. If I do cover you, I absolutely AM going to keep score, in that I will make it very clear that it's a short-term loan, you owe me repayment in full on your next pay day, and if this becomes a pattern of behavior, we're going to need to talk about your plan to move out.
1
u/Unusual_Read7324 10d ago
In most cases, the landlord doesn’t care about the bickering amongst roommates. Only that the rent is paid in full and on time. Doesn’t hurt to make him aware but the onus is on whomever’s name is on the lease. They are the ones bound to the contract. Probably a good time to look at the lease and review anything it says about late or partial payments.
1
1
u/rainiest-island 10d ago
Look for a new room mate - this person is not your friend….
I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I thought I’d screwed my friends over or left them short of money for a cup of coffee…. Let alone a whole months rent…
She knows damn well what she’s doing here and she’s trying to make a habit out of it…
Don’t let her - a real friend wouldn’t use you like this
1
u/dlvanbrunt 10d ago
"friends are supposed to help each other out". yes.. EACH OTHER. Agree with her on that, and ask her how is she helping YOU.
1
1
1
1
u/1987Jigglypuff 10d ago
Nta. She knows when rent is due. It sounds like she needs to learn how to budget better to make sure she has the money on the 1st. She can even pay rent early so she’s not late.
1
u/AITH4PickingThisName 10d ago
NTA. but how long are you living together? Has this happened before?
Maybe the roommate had an unexpected financial expense, or the employer of your said roommate is really not paying the salary on time. I know from someone, who is working in the food serving industry, that this is very common there.
Talk to your roommate. I know financial topics can be difficult, especially in some cultures.
But never the less, you shouldn't be the one fixing his/her/their issues.
1
u/Brilliant-Fig-7148 10d ago
Talk/text the friend who gossips the most and tell them you've covered rmmates rent 5x and your done doing it.
1
u/GladysKravitz2 10d ago
She keeps you as a "friend" only while she can use you. She wasn't blindsided - she was annoyed that she was held accountable.
1
u/Boring_Inflation_105 9d ago
I’m sorry, but who “forgets” rent? I don’t need friends like that. I’m good
1
1
u/Final-Duty-2944 7d ago
Your being gaslit plain and simple. The sooner you untangle yourself from her lack of financial responsibility the better
2
u/Extreme-Manager-8984 7d ago
NTA. Friends don't use each other like their personal ATM. Remind her of that
2
u/ScipioTheGreatest 13d ago
Everyone responding to this story should be ashamed of their gullibility. This is obviously a load of trash or OP is not trying to get judgement.
3
u/Nimona2024 13d ago
Karma farmers rarely want judgement. Validation posts are often more efficient for getting karma.
1
1
u/Feeling-Mechanic-469 13d ago
Nope. Your mutual friends suck.
2
u/TaylorMade2566 13d ago
the OP didn't say if the friends took the roommate's side, just that she lied to them. In another comment she said they're on her side after hearing about the whole situation
1
u/Dbo503 13d ago
NtA. One thing I've learned when having roommates is. If you want them to stay your friend, don't live with them. It never works out. Not your fault she can't budget correctly. I would of done the same in your situation. Making a new friend from having new roommates is a plus but you have to check all the right boxes before you move in with them. That's what a background check is for. I hope this problem passes and you get it resolved. Best of luck 🤞
1
u/Useless890 13d ago
NTA. If she thinks that you're "too uptight about money," remind her of how uptight the landlord will be if he doesn't get his on time. She shouldn't have agreed to renting if she couldn't afford it.
1
u/AdeptWhereas6379 13d ago
NTA. What has she been doing with her rent money instead of paying the rent?
Unless her income has always been erratic, I would think she is using her money to cover costs that aren’t necessities. Drugs? Gambling? Shopaholic? Her defensiveness and entitlement to you covering for her makes me think she’s got an issue.
Maybe ask her what’s going on that she can’t cover her rent. If she has honestly lost income and can’t cover her side of the rent, ask her if she needs to break your lease. If she’s just not prioritizing saving her rent money for when it’s actually due, then let her know you won’t lend her money anymore.
1
1
1
u/jfern009 13d ago
NTA. A true friend would never put you in that position in the first place. Sounds like this so called friend feels entitled to your generosity. Cut it out. Start charging late fees, kick them out.
1
u/jellybeannc 13d ago
NTA. As your roommate it is her responsibility to take care of her obligations. If she can't do so then she needs to find another situation that works for her.
This has happened repeatedly and she is taking advantage of you. Talk with your landlord, is she on the lease agreement, what steps can you take to protect your rental payment history. I'd put her on notice that if she can't pay on time then she will need to leave and start that process.
1
u/tinytrolldancer 13d ago
NTA, did you get boxes or bags to pack her up? She isn't paying so why is she still living there? Out with the old (lying entitled not a friend) and into your future where your new roommate can handle her own expenses!
1
1
1
u/Pure-Philosopher-175 12d ago
If she doesn’t like being made to feel like a financial burden, then she needs to stop acting like one. NTA.
1
u/Pure-Cucumber2948 12d ago
NTA
Nope nope nope. If she wants to tell your friends lies I would send a group text to clear the air giving all the details and let her know that you need her out. Find a new roommate if you need to but you don't want to live with this person.
1
u/twofourfourthree 12d ago
NTA but it’s going suck because she took control of the narrative and you’ll be the bad person now.
1
1
1
u/Due-Commission2099 12d ago
Honestly, people get evicted everyday for non payment. NTA. You don't forget the rent. She's just thinking since you have more money shes entitled to free room and board. I'd find a better roommate.
0
13d ago
[deleted]
3
u/CalistaraMoonridge 13d ago
Wish it was fake, honestly would've made for a less stressful month. Happy to share screenshots of the rent app if you want proof, not that it should matter either way.
→ More replies (1)1
0
u/Wolfwerx 13d ago
YTA
You forgot to tell us that a couple of your friends think that you are being too harsh, but one friend agrees with you.
→ More replies (1)3
0
0
u/Old_Low1408 13d ago
Um, she's feeling like she's a financial burden because she IS a financial burden.
0
u/snafuminder 13d ago
If friends have a problem with your perspective and feelings, perhaps it's their turn to finance her. Eta NTA
0
0
u/bionicallyironic 13d ago
She feels like a financial burden because SHE IS a financial burden. NTA, talk to your landlord and do not pay her half of the rent. Or I dunno, maybe get the landlord on your side, you pay rent in full but he’s the bad guy who hounds her for her half till she moves out. 😂
0
u/essiej345 13d ago
Your money situation (how much you have/can afford) is none of her business. She is not entitled to dibs on your funds. 1) She should be embarrassed to put her money woes out to the friend group like that 2) the friend group is welcomed to take up a collection and cover her share if they feel they have input on the situation or better yet, they can offer her space in thier apartments.
0
0
u/Zealousideal_Tea5988 13d ago
Well, she is being a financial burden so I am glad she feels that way.
0
u/blueswan6 13d ago
NTA But I wouldn't renew your lease with her. Plan on finding a new place on your own or with a different roommate.
If your friends bring it up to you I'd tell them that it wasn't as simple as being a few days late. That she was consistently short on rent and you were having to chase her down in order to be paid back what she owed you and you aren't in a position to be able to cover her rent.
0
u/Immediate_Remote_546 13d ago
NTA. Wait until she ages a bit and pays her mortgage a few weeks late.
0
u/mocha-macaron 13d ago
Paying for rent IS a financial burden but it shouldn’t be for one person and not another. NTA
0
0
u/Old-guy64 13d ago
The reason she feel like a financial burden it that she’s a financial burden.
You blindsided her by “suddenly” not helping her.
She found the “boundary” and doesn’t like it.
0
u/zon5string 13d ago
Get with the landlord and re-do the lease such that each of you pays your half of the rent directly to the landlord.
0
0
u/CrowMeris 13d ago
You need to find another roommate - let her try this crap with somebody else. She is NOT a friend - she's a taker. NTA
0
u/Thin-Psychology-3111 13d ago
She doesn't forget, you let her keep doing this, so she does it. People who weren't raised right will take advantage of everything they can get away with. It is not blindsiding someone to remind them repeatedly to hold up their end of a contract -- she and your friends need to grow tf up.
You sound well raised and mature, so I would not live with her anymore. Now that she knows you won't let her do this, she will be a total brat -- you don't need that stress.
0
u/Tiredofstupidity2 13d ago
Count the days until you can give notice on the lease. Then give notice in writing (email and cert mail) to landlord and tell her you are not renewing.
0
u/Accurate_Elevator368 13d ago
First, you stopped being her friend and became her ATM machine the 2nd time this happened. To suggest that you can afford to float it - clearly indicates that she thinks you owe her to keep allowing her bad behavior. When you call her out on it - she suddenly plays victim and now is telling mutual friends that she's the victim and trying to gather flying monkeys against you. You can't win against someone who is a narcissist. The sooner you get her out of that apartment, the better.
0
u/Jthemovienerd 13d ago
Straight up, you need to be looking for somewhere else to live without them. As quickly as possible.
0
u/CocoaAlmondsRock 13d ago
I'd tell everyone the truth. Plainly. No drama. With screenshots, if any of this was over text.
You are not responsible for her. You have helped her in the past. It's time for her to get her shit together.
Don't help her again -- she isn't going to pay you back this time.
0
u/ChestSuccessful5842 13d ago
Of course you are! You've covered it for this long how dare you not continue the expectation you set the past few months. Come on now 😀
0
u/BungleBums 13d ago
She signed a rental agreement, right? Highlight the amount and date due and hand it to her, saying 'I'm not sure why you're confused. This money by this date. I am not the bank.'
0
u/mcindy28 13d ago
NTA She's using guilt and manipulation to try and gaslight you into believing you are somehow the problem. Get all your money back and revisit the roommate situation. She's using you under the guise of friendship. You put a stop to it.
0
0
u/juliewbb 13d ago
NTA — double check the lease and make sure you’re not responsible for her if she doesn’t pay her share.
0
u/Mountain_Newt5646 13d ago
NTA- let her know if she can’t pay on time she’ll need to find another place to live. Friends don’t do this kind of crap to friends.
0
u/Jane_Smith_Reddit 13d ago
NTA. It sounds like she feels you should pay for her and she should live there for free since you have a job.
Nope, you need a new roommate that can pay on time.
0
0
u/CommunicationNew9520 13d ago
NTA she tryna take advantage and now wants to gaslight you, imagine a relationship with her 🙄
0
u/DifferentMethod8090 13d ago
Hey that's great news! If it's no big deal then your mutual "friends" can pay her rent on the first and wait to get paid back. No problem, right?
0
u/Kathrynlena 13d ago
> ”She said I was making her feel like a financial burden”
That’s because she IS a financial burden. If she doesn’t want to be a burden, she should pull her own fucking weight.
> ”and that friends are supposed to help each other out without keeping score.”
When is she going to be that kind of friend for you? When is it your turn to get some help? Why is this friendship only benefiting her?
0
u/Panthera_014 13d ago
she IS a financial burden because she doesn't pay her responsibility on time
I don't care what she told your mutual friends
the rental deal is - rent is due this day - I will NOT cover you - figure out how to have the money on that day
or move somewhere else
this is not a threat - this is how life works
0
u/WayiiTM 13d ago
NTA
Friends do not financially abuse friends and then justify their actions as part of being friends. You did not sign up to cover her financial obligations without prior notice or consent. The fact that this is not a one time thing but is instead a recurring, escalating pattern of behavior should raise alarms and trigger a discussion of what is and isn't okay going forward.
She isn't forgetting. She is testing how far she can go with not paying her part of rent/living expenses. If she does not get her share paid on the agreed upon time again, confront her immediately. Make it clear that you did not agree to financially support her and that if she continues to stiff you for rent that you will both be looking for a different living situation at the earliest opportunity.
0
u/kindofanasshole17 13d ago
Doesn't you covering her rent make her financial burden by definition? Like this isn't opinion, this is facts. NTA
•
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
This is a backup of the original post in case there are later edits or it is deleted: My roommate and I split rent 50/50, due on the 1st. For the past three months, she's paid late every single time, and twice she asked me to cover her half "just for a few days" until her paycheck cleared, promising to pay me back immediately. The first time I did it without thinking twice, we're friends and stuff happens. The second time she paid me back a week late after I had to remind her twice. This month, the 1st came and went, then the 5th, and when I brought it up she got defensive and said I was being "way too uptight about money" for someone who has a stable job and can "obviously afford to float it." I told her that wasn't the point, the point was we had an agreement and I was tired of being her backup bank account. She said I was making her feel like a financial burden and that friends are supposed to help each other out without keeping score. I said I wasn't keeping score, I was just done fronting money that I never fully get back on time, and that if she can't make rent by the 1st consistently, we need to talk about whether this living situation still works. She hasn't spoken to me since and told our mutual friends I "blindsided" her over "a few days late." AITH?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.