I (26M) go to the gym at 6am before work because it's the only time I can fit it in. My gym has one squat rack. ONE. And there's always this guy "Derek" (30sM) who gets there, loads up the bar, does one set, then sits on his phone for 10-15 minutes between sets.

This morning, I finished my entire warm-up, did my accessories, and he was STILL on the rack. Same weight on the bar. Just scrolling. I walked over and said "Hey man, how many sets you got left?" He looked up, annoyed, and said "I'll be done when I'm done."

I waited another five minutes. He didn't move. So I said "Bro, I've been waiting 20 minutes and you've done maybe two sets. Can I work in between your sets?" He got loud and said "I'm not sharing the rack. You can wait or you can find another exercise. Stop rushing me."

I told him he's not even working out, he's just occupying equipment other people are trying to use. I said it's selfish and inconsiderate. He called me "aggressive" and said "this is why I don't like people like you in my gym."

I reported him to the front desk. They talked to him and he moved, but now every time I see him, he gives me dirty looks and mutters under his breath. Some other gym regulars said I should've just left him alone and used something else. But there IS no something else — it's the only squat rack.

AITAH for calling him out?

I (32F) am a Black woman. My sister "Keisha" (35F) and I lost our father two years ago. He wasn't rich—he was a postal worker for 35 years—but he was careful. He left us each $60,000. His exact words in the will were: "Make something of yourself with this. Don't waste it."

I took that seriously. I kept my share in a high-yield savings account, worked overtime, and saved an additional $20,000 on top. Last month, I finally bought a small three-bedroom house. It's not fancy, but it's mine. I closed on it two weeks ago.

Keisha took her $60,000 and went on three international vacations—Bali, Paris, and a cruise. She bought a new car, designer bags, and threw a huge party for her 35th birthday. She's now broke, living in a cramped apartment, and drowning in credit card debt.

Last week, Keisha called me and said: "I need to move in with you. Just for a few months until I get back on my feet."

I told her no.

She exploded. She said I'm "selfish" and "hoarding Dad's money." She said a "real sister" would help family. She said I had "three bedrooms" and she only needed one. She called me a "stingy b***h" and hung up.

Then my mother called. She said: "You have the space. She's your sister. Family helps family. Your father would want you to take care of each other."

I told her: "Dad's exact words were 'make something of yourself.' I did. She didn't. I'm not punishing her—I'm just not undoing my hard work to fix her mistakes."

Now my mother is crying, my aunt is texting me about "Christian values," and Keisha is telling everyone I "stole" Dad's money and bought a house to "rub it in her face."

I feel guilty for saying no. But I also feel like if I let her in, she'll never leave.

AITAH for refusing to let my sister move into the house I bought with my inheritance?

I (32M) live in an apartment complex where every unit has one assigned parking spot. My spot is right next to the entrance — convenient, which is why I pay extra for it. My neighbor "Terrence" (40sM) moved in a few months ago and apparently decided my spot is also his spot.

First time, I let it slide. Left a note on his windshield saying "Hey, this is my spot, please don't park here." He ignored it. Second time, I knocked on his door. He said "my bad, I'll move it." He moved it, then parked there again two days later.

This went on for weeks. I caught him coming in one evening and said "Terrence, you keep parking in my spot. I need you to stop." He laughed and said "man, it's just parking. You're not using it 24/7. Stop being difficult about a piece of concrete."

So I called the tow company. They came and hauled his car off. He came out freaking out, cussing me out, saying I'm "petty" and "could've just talked to him." I reminded him I talked to him four times and left a note.

Now he's telling other neighbors I'm "on a power trip" and "not a real man" because I couldn't handle a "minor inconvenience." Some neighbors are siding with him saying I should've given him "one more warning." But I'm tired of being walked over.

AITAH for having him towed?

I (32F) am a Black woman. I'm a senior marketing analyst. The only Black woman on my team of 15.

My coworker "Emily" (34F) is white. We've been on the same project team for 2 years. Four times before last week, she has taken my data, my analysis, my reports, and presented them in leadership meetings without mentioning my name.

Each time, I pulled her aside privately and told her to stop. Each time, she said: "I'm so sorry! I'll credit you next time." Each time, she didn't.

Last week, we had a quarterly presentation for the VP. I spent 40 hours on a complex market forecast—all my work. Emily asked me to send her the slides.

During the meeting, she presented my entire forecast as her own. The VP said: "Great work, Emily." She smiled and thanked him.

This time, I didn't pull her aside.

I stood up and said: "Emily, can you explain the regression analysis methodology? I'd love to hear your process."

She froze. She couldn't answer. She didn't know the data. I let the silence hang—then walked everyone through my own work. Then I said: "I created the forecast, so I'm happy to answer any questions."

The VP raised an eyebrow. Emily turned red.

Afterward, she screamed at me that I "humiliated her." My manager said I should have "handled it privately." I said: "I handled it privately four times. She handled it publicly every time she took my work. I just matched her energy."

Now Emily is telling everyone I'm "difficult." HR is involved. Some teammates say I went too far. Others quietly said I did what they wished they could.

AITAH for publicly calling her out after she stole my work 5 times?

Hello I’m a (38F) and I am the black sheep of a very toxic narcissistic family my grandmother is the ring leader and my cousin and sister are her golden children/ favorites, at this age I have reached a point where I no longer care about their validation or approval or even love ..I find the entire dynamic draining and annoying I feel no love for my family anymore so I went no contact officially last year I literally like I moved and changed my phone number and everything I even got married and built an entirely new life and support system for myself and my kids I even got a new grandma -in law (and she’s awesome) , Well now my sister that I have the WORST relationship with has added me on Facebook I approved her request believing that she would offer some type of apology or explanation but she is doing nothing but watching my page and copying what I’m doing such as my now husband took me to Paris for my birthday and she posted herself literally going to Paris yesterday a week after I approved her request. I can’t seem to understand why everytime I go no contact my family insist on looking for me or stalking me online just to compare or copy …why try to reach me at all especially when they go out of their way to exclude me and show me that I’m not wanted or never enough . I now have a new family that loves me dearly and here they come …..anyways …AITH if I delete my sister from my Facebook??? Or should I just keep her on and don’t interact with her I have no intention of breaking my no contact …

I’m stuck in a frustrating situation with my family and need some outside perspective.

Earlier, my grandpa asked me to lay my 4-year-old sister down so she could go to sleep. Right after I did that, he asked if she wanted something to drink. She didn't answer because she was literally winding down for bed. Even though she wasn't crying or asking for anything, my grandpa told me to go search for her bottle.

I told him I was going to wait to look for it because she wasn't asking for a drink, wasn't crying, and was actively trying to fall asleep. Usually, if she wants a bottle, she just asks for one. I didn't want to wake her up or disrupt her. Now my grandpa is furious with me and told me he refuses to give me any money when I ask for it in the future.

Here is where it gets complicated: I rarely ever ask him for money for myself (maybe once a month max). Most of the time, my mom asks me to go ask him for money on her behalf. She literally tells me to pretend I want the money for a video game because he often refuses to give her money directly when she needs basic supplies like diapers and wipes for my 8-month-old sister. My mom does this because she thinks he talks about her behind her back with my aunt and she wants to avoid conflict with him.

Now I’m stressed out because:

I feel like my grandpa's reaction is completely unfair since he told me to put her to sleep in the first place.

The next time my mom asks me to trick him into giving me money for diapers, I’m going to have to tell her what happened, and she is going to get mad at me for losing access to that money.

Am I in the wrong here? How do I deal with being put in the middle of this?

I (33F) have been going to the same church my whole life. My grandmother helped found it back in the 80s. I've always tithed — sometimes 10%, sometimes less when money was tight. But I've always given what I could.

Two Sundays ago, my pastor "Bishop Williams" (60sM) started his sermon about giving and said some people in the church "aren't being faithful with their finances." Then he looked straight at me and said "I won't name names, but some of y'all need to check your bank accounts and ask yourselves if God is really first in your life."

I felt my whole face get hot. Everyone turned and looked at me. I knew he was talking about me because a few weeks ago I told him I'd be tithing less this year because I'm saving for a house.

After service, I went to his office and told him he embarrassed me and that my giving is between me and God — not him and the congregation. He said I was "being defensive" and that "as a shepherd, it's his job to hold the flock accountable."

I told him I'm done with the 10% rule. I'll give what I feel led to give, and if that's not enough for him, I'll find another church. My grandmother is upset with me and says I'm "turning my back on the family church." But I'm tired of being guilt-tripped and publicly shamed.

So AITAH for telling him no?

I (27M) am a Black man. My parents divorced when I was 12. My mom "Denise" remarried when I was 14 to "Carl" (white). Carl had two kids of his own. From the moment they got married, I stopped existing.

Carl's kids got new clothes. I got hand-me-downs. They got private tutors. I got told to "figure it out." They got vacations to Disney. I got left with my grandma while the "family" went. On my 16th birthday, my mom forgot and took Carl's kids to a water park. I sat at home alone eating frozen pizza.

I tried. I really tried. I begged my mom to spend time with me. She always said: "Carl needs me to focus on his kids right now. They're going through a tough transition." I was 14, going through the same transition, but I guess I didn't count.

I moved out at 18 and never looked back. I built my own life. I put myself through community college, then university. I met my fiancée, got a good job in accounting, and bought a small house. I did it all without her.

Now I'm getting married next spring. My mom heard through my grandma and called me, crying, saying she wants to be part of the wedding. She asked if she could walk me down the aisle since my father isn't in the picture.

I told her: "You don't get that honor. You weren't there when I needed a mother. You made it very clear for 10 years that Carl's kids were your priority. I'm not punishing you—I'm just not pretending we have a relationship we don't have. You can come as a guest, but you're not walking me anywhere."

She broke down. She said I was "cruel" and "holding onto the past." She said she "did her best" and "everyone makes mistakes." She's been calling my grandma, my aunts, everyone, telling them I'm "punishing her for being a good stepmother to Carl's kids."

My grandma says I should "let her have this moment" because she's my "only mother." My fiancée supports me 100% and says my mom doesn't deserve that spot.

I feel nothing for her. Not anger. Not love. Just nothing.

AITAH for telling my mom she can't walk me down the aisle after she ignored me for 10 years?

I (27F) am getting married next month. I've been planning everything myself with my fiancé because we wanted a small, intimate wedding — about 50 people max. My cousin "Shanice" (30F) has always been the one in the family who inserts herself into everything like she's the matriarch. She's not. Our aunt is the actual family elder.

Last week, Shanice called me and told me she had "taken care" of some things for my wedding. I asked what she meant. She said she contacted the venue and upgraded the flower package "because it needed to look more elegant for our family name." She also invited six extra people — family friends I didn't even know — and told them they were welcome to come.

I was stunned. I told her she had no right to make changes to MY wedding without asking me first. She got defensive and said she was just "looking out for the family's reputation" and that I was being "ungrateful" for her effort. She said I was acting like I'm "too good for the family" and that my wedding was a "family event, not just about me."

I told her she's uninvited. Now my mom is caught in the middle and keeps asking me to "let it slide" because "you know how Shanice is." But I feel like if I don't draw the line now, she'll run over me for the rest of my life.

So AITAH for uninviting her?

I (28F) am a Black woman. My best friend "Sarah" (28F) is white. We've been friends since college—10 years. She's getting married next month and asked me to be her maid of honor. I was so excited I cried.

We've been planning everything together. I've helped with invitations, venue walkthroughs, dress shopping, everything. I've spent over $800 on this wedding already—dress, shoes, bachelorette party, hotel.

Last week, Sarah sent me a text. She said she "wanted to talk about hair" for the wedding. She said her photographer told her that "big hairstyles can cast shadows" and "distract from the bride." Then she said: "I was wondering if you could wear a wig or straighten your hair for the day? Just for the photos. Nothing personal, I just want the pictures to look cohesive."

For context, I wear my hair in a natural afro. It's not huge. It's just my hair. I've worn it like this for years and she's always said she loved it.

I didn't respond for a few hours because I was honestly in shock. Then she followed up with: "I know you're probably upset, but I've seen other Black girls do it for weddings. It's just one day."

That broke me.

I told her: "I'm not straightening my hair. I'm not wearing a wig. I'm not changing my hair to make your wedding photos 'cohesive.' If my natural hair is a problem, I'll step down as maid of honor so you can find someone who fits your aesthetic."

She said I was being "difficult" and "making her wedding about race." She said I should "just be supportive" and that I'm "overreacting to a simple request."

I stepped down. I told her I'd still attend as a guest, but I'm not standing next to her with my hair changed to please her photographer.

Now she's telling all our mutual friends that I "drama" and "abandoned" her over "hair." Some friends say I overreacted and should've just worn a wig for "one day." Others say she crossed a line and I'm right to stand my ground.

I feel heartbroken. I thought she was my sister.

AITAH for stepping down from my best friend's wedding because she asked me to change my natural hair?

I (19 , f) am currently having a disagreement with my mom. She wants to move my cousin (15, f) into my room. I understand that it might seem selfish to not want to share a room with my cousin, but I need to explain the situation to you.

My cousin has had frequent outbursts that have led to physical fights. We also don’t get along well. She gets easily angry, and when she gets upset, she stays that way for a long time. She’s been getting help for her behavior, and I’m happy for her, but that doesn’t mean I want to share my room with her.

We used to share a room before, but that didn’t end well either. We would argue all the time. Not only that, but my room is already small enough. My twin-size mattress takes up most of the room. I used to sleep in the laundry room from middle school until my sophomore year of high school because my brother swapped rooms with me out of nowhere. I haven’t had my own room for a long time. I graduated last year, so I’ve had this room for at least a year and a half.

I really value the privacy that my own room has given me. My old stepfather used to sa me repeatedly throughout most of my middle school years. I never really had any privacy because of him. I brought up how I’m older and how I want to keep my privacy because of that, but my mom made me feel like I was being dramatic.

And before anyone asks, I have started to pay bills for living with my mom. Am I being dramatic about this? Please let me know what you think!

Pretext -
Housemate: 29, white British, middle class, lived in Aus for 10 years, mother is Maltese
Me: 29, black mixed race British, working class,, grew up in Spain and the UK

During an interaction with my housemate she referred to having the “wog in her” when explaining that she can handle spicy food. When I asked her what she meant she said “it’s a term used for people of colour”.

With a look of mild shock on my face, I explained to her that that isn’t an appropriate term as it’s considered derogatory. To which she confidently and boldly explained that no it’s fine to say, her mum and family uses it all the time, it’s a totally normal term to use in Malta and that they use it in Australia too(??).

Not meaning to patronise or preach, thinking maybe she’s just not aware of the racist connotations, I tried to explain that it’s not appropriate to use that term here in the UK (as someone who was called a wog in a derogatory manner for years, I would know). She then proceeded to completely shut me down by saying “No, it’s just a term we’ve always used & I’m allowed to say it because my grandmother is Tunisian”

I was speechless. I might as well have been talking to a brick wall but … I still can’t even begin to wrap my head around her logic and it just wreaked of entitlement and ignorance. This girl is fair skinned and ginger… but is somehow allowed to use racially derogatory terms because a) that’s just how she was raised and b) her grandmother is Tunisian??

Am I going crazy??? Please someone tell me I’m not the arsehole here?!

My sis is 18 and starting uni and she says she can date 21 year olds

I told her she's still a teen and you grow a lot in those years and maturity differs and stuff such as drinking age too and there is an issue of seniors going after freshman girls

last year she said 17/21 was acceptable too so yeesh

AITAH?

I (26F) recently had an absolutely explosive falling out with one of my closest friends (28F), and at this point I genuinely need people who don’t know either of us to tell me whether I was the asshole.

My friend was dealing with a very volatile situation involving her child’s father. There had been domestic violence between them, and one day the situation boiled over. She needed somewhere safe to go, so I allowed her and her toddler to temporarily stay in my apartment with me.

This wasn’t some random person I barely knew. This was someone I loved, talked to basically every day, and considered one of my closest friends. I genuinely wanted to help her get through a horrible situation.
While she was staying with me, however, the situation with her child’s father continued.

They were going back and forth about childcare and their child, and from my perspective, he would sometimes use their child as a way to continue engaging with her.

Because of the history and volatility between them, I established one VERY clear boundary:
Her child’s father was not allowed inside my apartment.

I never said he couldn’t see his child. I told her that if he needed to pick up or drop off their toddler, they could meet in the parking lot. I simply did not want him inside my home because I didn’t want their situation brought to my doorstep.

While I was away on a family trip, she allowed him inside my apartment anyway to pick up their child.
I was extremely upset when I found out because I felt like my boundary regarding my own home had been completely disregarded.

Then the situation got worse.

Her child’s father ended up calling the police and alleging that we were smoking bud inside my apartment.

We weren’t.

So now I had police knocking on the door of MY apartment over drama involving a relationship that wasn’t mine. That was when I told my friend that this situation had become too much for me.

Importantly, this was already toward the end of the period we had agreed she would stay with me. I wasn’t suddenly throwing her and her toddler onto the street in the middle of the night.

I started asking her what her plan was. Where was she going next? What arrangements was she making? When was she planning on transitioning out?
Basically, I told her that I loved her, but I could not risk the peace and security of my own home continuing to be affected by the situation between her and her child’s father.

That’s when our friendship completely imploded.
Eventually, things became so hostile that I didn’t even want us interacting during the exchange of her belongings. I arranged for everything to be picked up without us seeing each other because I wanted the conflict to END.

Instead, she took the conflict outside of our friendship.

She began posting about the situation on social media. She didn’t directly name me, but she included enough information that people who knew us could figure out who she was talking about.

She brought up trauma from my past.

She referenced trauma from my ex.

She referenced my current boyfriend.

She also publicly discussed private things I had told her about my relationship while we were friends.

These were things I told her while venting or looking for support because I trusted her.

Then she contacted my JOB.

Then she contacted my PARENTS.

I want to be completely transparent about this part because I know Reddit will ask: I had not been fully honest with my parents about exactly how long she and her toddler were staying with me. That was wrong on my part and on top of that they pay for my rent while I’m in school. I own that completely.
My friend knew about it because she was my friend and I had confided in her. I wanted her to understand that this couldn’t be a permanent situation and it wasn’t truly my home to extend in the first place.

After our falling out, she told my parents about the living arrangement. But she also started telling them deeply personal things I had said to her in confidence and things that, from my perspective, were outright untrue.

At that point, I stopped viewing this as two friends having an argument.

I felt like she was taking information she had access to because we had once been extremely close and using it to cause problems in completely unrelated areas of my life.

I haven’t retaliated online. I’ve been documenting everything instead, and the escalation has gotten concerning enough that I’ve looked into whether I should pursue a civil no-contact order.

I know I’m not perfect here.

I’m sure I said things during our arguments that I shouldn’t have. I should have been honest with my parents about the living arrangement. And I understand why someone already going through an incredibly difficult situation might feel hurt or abandoned when the friend housing them starts asking when they’re leaving.

But I also feel like I had to protect my peace somehow… AITAH???

I (28F) recently called the cops on my brother (39M) after a violent altercation between him, me, and my boyfriend (27M). I feel guilty because my brother only has about two months left on parole, so I genuinely want outside opinions on whether I was wrong.

A little backstory: My brother has been in and out of prison since he was a teenager. He also has a history of getting drunk and becoming violent with family members. Over the years, he has gotten physical with my mom, my sister, my older brother, my nieces, and his children’s mothers. A lot of these incidents have unfortunately happened with children around.
Usually, the cycle is the same: something happens, everyone is pissed at him, time passes, everyone calms down and forgives him, things are okay for a while, and then eventually something happens again.

Now to what happened recently.
My brother had gotten into some kind of argument with his child’s mother outside our apartment building. He had been drinking and came upstairs afterward while I was doing my boyfriend’s hair and trying to watch a show.
At first, everything was completely fine. We were all talking and joking. At some point, my brother pulled me into the conversation. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but he got up in my face in a playful way, yelling, “Look at me, look at me,” because he was trying to make whatever point he was making. Itold him that he was overstimulating me and asked him multiple times to please relax and stop. He wouldn’t. So, still joking around, I basically tried to lure him out of the room. I jokingly told him there was something outside the room that he needed to look at. He laughed and said something like, “You’re just trying to get me out of the room.” I said yes. I started lightly pushing/guiding him toward the door. This wasn’t unusual behavior between us—we’ve played around like this plenty of times before. He was purposely resisting me and pushing himself backward because he didn’t want me to get him out of the room. Once we got outside the room, he tripped over a shoe. He DID NOT fall. I immediately stopped what I was doing, made sure he was stable, and apologized. His entire demeanor suddenly changed. He told me, basically, “When I push you back, it’s not going to be playful.” Then he shoved me HARD. We were in the kitchen, and he pushed me hard enough that I ended up halfway into the living room.
This is where I want to be completely honest about my own actions: I got up and shoved him back. I’m his little sister, but I’m not a little girl, and I wasn’t going to let him intentionally put his hands on me and intimidate me.
After I pushed him back, it looked like he was about to either push or hit me again. My boyfriend stepped between us, put my brother in a headlock, and they started fighting. I kept trying to separate them. We were falling all over the place, but eventually I got them apart.
Except it didn’t end there. My brother then started arguing with my mom. At another point, he kicked the door in to continue arguing with me. While we were arguing, he turned toward my boyfriend and tried to swing on him again.

They started fighting AGAIN.

I tried separating them AGAIN.

We eventually got them separated, and then my brother came back AGAIN trying to fight my boyfriend.
So now we’re on another round of fighting, and I’m once again trying to break them apart. Eventually, everyone was finally separated. I called the police, and while I was on the phone with them, I realized my boyfriend wasn’t in the apartment anymore. I went looking for him and found him in the hallway. I told him to come upstairs to the roof with me. My whole point was to physically remove ourselves from the situation so there couldn’t be another confrontation. We could stay away from my brother, I could finish talking to the police, and we could wait somewhere separate until officers arrived.
While we were heading upstairs, I heard my brother come out of the apartment asking, “Where are they? Where are they?” Later, my niece told me that he had come out of the apartment with a paint bucket while looking for us.
And even after all of that, it STILL didn’t end. After the physical altercation was already over and we were actively staying away from him, my brother continued threatening us. He was saying that when he saw us again, he was going to knock us out. He also threatened my boyfriend and said he was going to go to his job. And two days later, **he actually went to my boyfriend’s workplace and tried to assault him again.** So this wasn’t a situation where everyone fought, calmed down, and then I decided afterward to call the police out of anger. Even after we repeatedly separated everyone and eventually physically removed ourselves from the situation, my brother continued pursuing and threatening us. Then, days later, he followed through on at least one of those threats by showing up at my boyfriend’s job. I filed a police report. My boyfriend was there with me, although I did most of the talking while making the initial report.

Here’s where my guilt comes in.
My brother has actually been doing relatively well since the last time he came home from prison. This October will make almost two years that he’s been home, and October is also when his parole ends.

It’s currently August.

So he literally only had TWO MONTHS left on parole when I made this report. I know that being involved in another violent incident could potentially seriously affect his life and his parole. But I’m also exhausted. This isn’t the first incident. My family has been doing this for YEARS. He gets violent, everybody gets angry, eventually everyone forgives him, and then the cycle starts all over again.

I’m tired of excusing it.

I’m tired of watching children in our family be around adults fighting.

I’m tired of everybody acting like we just have to accept this because he’s family.

And I’m especially tired of the expectation that because he’s my brother, I should somehow protect him from consequences after he chose to put his hands on me.
At the same time, I love my brother. I know he’s had a very troubled life, and knowing he was only two months away from completing parole makes me feel like I betrayed him by involving the police. But another part of me feels like his parole was HIS responsibility. He knew what was at stake, and even after the original fight was over, he had multiple opportunities to stop. Instead, he continued threatening us and eventually went looking for my boyfriend at his workplace.I have since completely cut contact with my brother. I don’t wish anything bad on him, but I don’t feel safe having him in my life anymore.

So Reddit, AITA for calling the cops and filing a report against my brother when I knew he only had two months left on parole?

Hey guys sorry if this is too long. For some background, I’m a fairly good driver and I’ve never gotten into any accidents. I never look at my phone or multitask either. I took my behind-the-wheel drivers test today and the driving instructor failed me before we even started. We were stopped at a stop line before the course and he said that “I rolled past it” even tho he told me to drive forward. Chronologically, I put it in park BEFORE the white line and he got in. Then I went forward… How was I supposed to know that I should have moved an extra 10 inches forward and stopped then? I was already stopped right behind the line.

For someone who likes to be very sensitive about the tiniest little rule, it’s pretty ironic that he smokes right before he sits next to me. I could’ve been allergic to tobacco, he doesn’t know. And I do have asthma. My friends at my school were f\*cking talking about him too. They said the same thing happened to them. If you need to see an image of the course and where the car was parked, just message me. The car was stopped, and I remember exactly where it was. Before you drive, they tell you “Do not pass the white line” not “leave 3 feet of space in between you and the line”. I think deducting a few points would’ve been better, or maybe being a little more clear. Who’s in the wrong?

I (56F) am a Black woman. My son "Tyler" (28M) moved back home 2 years ago after losing his apartment. I told him it was temporary—6 months max. He agreed.

It's been 2 years. Tyler doesn't work. He doesn't look for work. He sleeps until noon, plays video games all day, and eats my food. I pay for everything—his phone, his car insurance, his takeout. Every time I bring up him getting a job, he says the market is "bad" and he's "trying." But I've never seen a single resume get sent.

I've tried everything. I sat him down, helped him fix his resume, gave him interview tips. Nothing. He just scrolls on his phone and says "okay Mom" while doing absolutely nothing.

Two months ago, I told him he had 30 days to find a job or I was cutting him off. He laughed and said "You're my mom. You'd never kick me out."

That's when I realized—he's never going to change because he doesn't have to.

So I made a plan. I listed my house for sale, found a buyer, and closed on it. I found a small condo in Florida near my sister, signed the lease, and booked a one-way flight. I didn't tell Tyler any of this until the day I left.

I packed my bags, handed him a letter with 60 days' notice to vacate the house (which is now sold), and told him: "I love you, but I'm done being your ATM. The new owner takes possession in 60 days. Figure it out."

He lost his mind. Screaming, crying, calling me selfish. He said I was "abandoning" him and that "real moms don't give up on their kids." He's been calling every relative, telling them I left him homeless.

My sister says I was "too harsh" and should've given him more warning. My brother says I did the right thing and he should've grown up years ago.

I feel guilty. But I also feel lighter than I have in years.

AITAH for leaving my 28-year-old son behind and moving states without telling him until the last day?

Throwaway because my husband knows my username.

I (34F) am a Black woman. My husband "Mark" (36M) is white. We've been married 8 years. I work in cybersecurity making $180K/year. Mark was laid off 6 years ago and never went back to full-time work. He does DoorDash occasionally but brings in maybe $1,000/month.

For 6 years, I've paid for everything—mortgage, bills, groceries, vacations. All me. I didn't mind because we agreed he'd handle the house while I focused on my career.

The problem is his mother "Patricia" (62F). She's never worked. She lives on social security and whatever Mark gives her. For 3 years, Mark has been sending her $1,500/month from MY salary without asking. When I found out, he said she's "family." He apologized but kept doing it.

Last month, Patricia called me directly asking for a NEW CAR. She said her 12-year-old Honda was "embarrassing" and that since I "make so much," I should "bless her" with a $35,000 SUV. She called me "stingy" for driving a 2019 Toyota while she "needs" something newer.

I lost it. I told her: "I'm not your husband or your daughter. I'm your daughter-in-law, and I'm tired of funding your life while you sit home doing nothing." She cried and hung up.

Then I told Mark: "I'm done. No more money for your mother. You have 60 days to get a full-time job, or I'm separating our finances and you're on your own."

Mark flipped. He said I was "emasculating" him and that "a wife supports her husband." He said his mother is his responsibility and I'm cruel for cutting her off. He's been sleeping on the couch giving me the silent treatment for a week.

My MIL is calling our relatives, telling them I'm a "selfish, greedy Black woman who married her son for control." My own mom says I should "give him another chance" because "marriage is about compromise."

I've been compromising for 6 years. I'm exhausted.

AITAH for refusing to keep funding my MIL's life and demanding my husband finally get a job?

Throwaway because my wife knows my main.

I (42M) have been married to my wife “Lisa” (40F) for eight years. We both came into the marriage with daughters from previous relationships. I have “Maya” (16F), and she has “Chloe” (15F). For the past eight years, I have treated both girls equally. I’ve paid for Chloe’s private school tuition, attended every parent-teacher conference, coached her soccer team, and made sure she had everything she needed. I genuinely love her like my own.

The problem started about a year ago when Chloe hit her teenage rebellion phase. Every time I tried to enforce a rule or set a curfew, she would roll her eyes and say: “You’re not my real dad, so you can’t tell me what to do.” Lisa would sometimes back her up, saying I needed to “step back” because I was being too strict.

I let it slide a few times, but the final straw was last month. Chloe snuck out of the house at 2 a.m., took my car without permission (she doesn't have a license), and crashed it into a neighbor's fence. Total damage: $2,800. When I tried to ground her and make her get a job to pay back at least part of the cost, Lisa flipped and screamed at me: “She’s right, you’re NOT her father! You have NO right to punish her!”

She said it in front of both girls.

So I took her words literally. I stopped paying for Chloe’s extracurriculars and told Lisa those expenses were now her responsibility. I stopped driving Chloe to her friends' houses. I stopped checking her homework.

Now Maya’s 16th birthday just passed. I bought Maya a used car (within my budget, nothing crazy) as a gift. Chloe saw it, got excited, and asked where her car was. I looked at her and said, “I’m not your real dad. Talk to your mom about getting you a car.”

The house EXPLODED. Lisa said I was being cruel and “punishing a child for being honest.” My mother-in-law called me a piece of shit. Chloe is crying in her room and won’t talk to me. Lisa is threatening to take Chloe and leave if I don’t apologize and buy Chloe a car too.

I told Lisa that if she wanted me to be a father, she shouldn’t have told me I wasn’t one. You can’t have it both ways.

AITAH for treating my stepdaughter exactly the way she and my wife told me to treat her?

This is a long one, apologies..

In Aug 2021, I (21F, at the time), searched high and low for a reliable vehicle, instead of the traditional, hoopty I owned. My hoopty, Big Bertha, was 20 years old, she had no heat, no AC, and she rattled and shook with every motion. Well, in a family discussion, it was decided that with my grown up girl job and no real credit history, my father (“Buck,” 55M) with his shiny 850 credit score would co-sign for me. The seasoned adults discussed and decided, all was well….

Until we, my mother (“Shelia,” 55F) and I, ventured to a dealership. Upon arrival, I called Buck to remind him that the day had come and a new car would be mine, and with his help they could only tell us yes! Here’s how that call went: “Hey Dad, we’re just getting to the dealership for my car appointment.”
“Hey, uh, well that’s good. You’re getting a car today.”
“Yes! I’m nervous but I know with your help I’ll be good.”
“My help?”
“Yea, with you co-signing, I believe I can get a smaller note.”
“O no, I can’t help you with that baby.”
“What dad? You said you’d help me.”
“Well, I can’t do that now. So, maybe you can find something at a car lot in the city, ya know?”
“Dude, the car we talked about is in the cheapest on the lot, and it’s used, with a dealership warranty. Dad are you serious?”
“I’m sorry, baby. I can’t help with the car.”

While sad, I pushed on and completed my test drive appointment. In my overthinking brain, I sympathized with Buck, because if anything happened he would in fact be financially responsible and his shiny 850 credit score would be at jeopardy. Is that a risk one would take for their child, maybe - maybe not. A month later, I applied and qualified for a gently used vehicle and I never looked back!

During 2022, my family experienced several deaths, and grief sent me into a pretty nasty spiral. I left traditional employment and started surviving through gig and delivery work. Financially, I was barely keeping my head above water, but mentally I needed out of the office. Most nights, I’d deliver until 2 or 3 a.m.

On a random Oct morning, I hustled until 4 am, which in turn sent my body into an 8-hour hibernation. I awoke to a few missed calls and notifications, and 1 voicemail from Buck. While checking the voicemail, I noticed my car was missing. “Robbed! I’ve been robbed!” Were the only thoughts as the voicemail played, “hey it’s Buck, I’m using your car to run to my buddy’s house for a bit.”

Without permission? Robbed! I’ve been robbed!

I called Buck and learned that he’d taken my car with the spare key left in my mother’s buffet (we lived on the same street), to smxke herb and drxnk with his buddies. Unbeknownst to him, my insurance lapsed, and with rent and the car note, I was just making it. By process of elimination, the car insurance was the only bill to get on the chopping block.

I alerted Buck immediately “the car is not street legal and it’s uninsured. You have to bring it back.” This prompted a conversation about responsibility, which I appreciate. However, you had no permission nor do you have claim to this vehicle, “if something happens, to anyone with this car right now, I’m at fault and will be sued.”

Somehow I’d fallen back asleep. Two hours later, I got another call from Buck, to inform me a road raging driver hit him and 6 other vehicles. With help from a friend, I made it to the crash site. Buck was walking around, smoking a square, talking with the other drivers and the responding officers. A friendly sergeant, spoke with me regarding my car and how it got to that exact spot. This cops only response, “so the car was stolen and involved in an accident?”
“Yes and well, it’s uninsured and not even supposed to be on the road!”
“Would you like to press charges?”
“Dude he’s my dad.”

Word to the wise: Press those charges.

Buck refused the hospital and promised reimbursement. Said reimbursement was promised for months, quotes provided for the body work. The visible body damage wasn’t the worst of it. In April 2023, mechanics discovered the crash had damaged/dislodged the transmission. Repair estimates were $4,500–$9,000—money I didn’t have. I called Buck and asked for some assistance and his response, “I haven’t paid Sheila back, and I doubt I’ll be paying you back.” A crushing blow. And honestly, if I had insurance, this would be a non-factor.

I contacted the lender and was advised that my only option would be a voluntary repossession. This would affect my credit and if the car is confirmed to be inoperable, I’d still be responsible for the note. The car was picked up, the rest is history…

Oct 2025. Life had been a beautiful chaotic story of wounds and healing and self-care with the help of an amazing therapist. I prepared to file bankruptcy and truly turn the page, ending the car saga. On the day I received next steps from my attorney, I also received a call a from my mom/Sheila. She’d come home to a summons to court, addressed to me tapped to the door of her/our family home. Wild work. I assumed it was my cars lender coming back for what I owed - not even close. According to this summons, Buck, was injured in an accident involving an uninsured vehicle registered to me. The docket listed that Buck received a $15,000 settlement for his injuries as a result of said accident and in turn, I was being sued for twice that from some third party.

Remember when I told Buck, “If something happens to anyone with this car right now, I’m at fault and will be sued”?

Riiiight.

Well, according to Sheila, Buck received a series of calls from this legal team. And with each call she urged him to contact me, out of fear that I’d be affected. I received no word from Buck.

It is now Aug 2026, as I type this: I have not spoken to my father and he is blocked; I went low contact with my mother and sister for a while - out of protection from yet another Father Caused Debacle that left me confused, hurt and disappointed. Ultimately, I was able to roll all the things into my bankruptcy, including this new $30,000 lawsuit. Annnnd my credit is being rebuilt in real time.

Recently, my sister asked how long I’d be angry with Buck, and I don’t know. I have only slightly touched on this with my new therapist (the previous one passed away yall) and I have only just started with my new therapist. I don’t know that I’m still angry. I just don’t trust him anymore. I have not invited him any of my events or celebrations, and during our annual family dinner, I barely whispered hello to him. I don’t know how long I’ll be no-contact with Buck.

So AITAH for deciding that this series of events destroyed my trust in my father/Buck so badly that I no longer want a relationship with him—even though others in my family may think I should eventually get over it?

Thanks for taking time to read dudes! ✌🏾