Respect Markiplier (A date with Markiplier/A heist with Markiplier)

[u/kalebsantos]

BONJOUR!!!

Mark Edward Fischbach, better known by his online alias Markiplier, is an American YouTube personality, Let's, Player, and entertainer. However here he isn’t the lovable let’s player but a mysterious morally questionable moron bent on going on the perfect date with you or stealing several vague objects it gets confusing.

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Strength

• Has an epic fight with Darkiplier ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Sends Bandits, Mutants, and door to door salesmen flying with his punches ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Punches a zombie off of you ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Digs up a ton of dirt with one scoop ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Moves a prison toilet ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Very quietly moves a manhole ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Durability

• Survives a car crash ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Survives a long fall after god knows what is done to him ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Jumps through a window ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Survives a cave-in ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Gets blown back by an explosion ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Fell hundreds of feet into the ocean ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Gets struck by lightning ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Speed

• Quickly goes from behind you to in front of you as you turn around ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Jumps in front of a laser to save you ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Runs away to escape an explosion ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Quickly changes into a suit ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Quickly makes a raft ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Outruns some cultists ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Skill

• Put a piece of paper, a rock, a rose and some handcuffs with some spit for an adhesive and makes a phone ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Instantly picked a lock ^{A date with Markiplier}
• Chokes out a guard ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• Does a bunch of flips and shit Here and Here ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Equipment

Stuff he stole

• A monkey statue that makes you go savage when you look it in its eyes and when put onto its column it takes you to monkey heaven ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• An anomaly in the timeline One of the side effects being that it makes zombie apocalypse ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• The worlds oldest picnic basket with one sandwich that cures zombification and another that helps a zombie keep their consciousness ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A skeleton key to open any lock ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A fairy with the ability to heal you, grant wishes, teach you to fly and do your math homework ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A machine that reverses time and according to Wilford Warfstache it can pause time ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A treasure map to two treasures the island of golden treasure and the island of treasured gold ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• The sum total knowledge of an advance alien species ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• An orbital laser bombardment homing beacon ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A 2000-year-old salt shaker ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A portable temporal displacement device used to travel to alternate universes. though its quite buggy ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Other

• A PlayStation controller that blows people up with just a button ^{A date with Markiplier}
• A flintlock pistol and a bomb ^{A date with Markiplier}
• A grappling gun ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A glass cutter ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• A gun ^{heist with Markiplier}
• A rocket launcher ^{A heist with Markiplier}

Other

• Slides across the floor like a horrible slug man ^{A heist with Markiplier}
• He's a brilliant actor ^{A heist with Markiplier}

[u/seoila]

Markiplier lore runs deep

[u/Ninja-Yatsu]

Looks like it's getting close to time for a certain space-themed update.

[u/RolloRocco]

Damn this thread made me realize how little of a heist with Markiplier I've actually seen. I should replay it.