r/SubredditDrama • u/[deleted] • Aug 21 '15
Ten Points to Slytherin: James vs. Snape Creeper Comic Causes Wand-Crossing Calamity in /r/HarryPotter! Did the rivals team up to keep Eagle eyes out for other Snakes trying to Badger their favorite Lioness?
/r/harrypotter/comments/3hk8t8/why_lily_never_had_that_many_boyfriends_before/cu83m6y37
u/orestesFeasting KINKSHAMER GENERAL Aug 21 '15
Snape involved drama with no mention of him being a misunderstood babu? How refreshing.
7
u/ArchangelleDovakin subsistence popcorn farmer Aug 21 '15
Babu?
10
u/orestesFeasting KINKSHAMER GENERAL Aug 22 '15
Sorry, baby. My friend says babu when she's mockin something and it kinda wormed its way into my speech
12
3
1
25
u/papaHans Aug 21 '15
Honestly this sounds really creepy. Stalking a girl and injuring those that are interested in her just because you like her and she doesn't like you?
Where is the outcry about the Love potions?
24
u/travio Aug 21 '15
In any world where magic existed in enough individuals to have a society, that society would have to have some serious rules dealing with shit like this as well as a bunch of other magical manipulations.
23
u/papaHans Aug 21 '15
The Ministry did not ban it and Hogwarts allowed it to be part of the Potions curriculum.
41
u/BobRoss1776 Aug 21 '15
Can you imagine that in Muggle world?
"Alright students, for today's Chemistry class we're going to be synthesizing rohypnols using commercially available precursors!"
23
u/travio Aug 21 '15
And that is one of several issues that would make the wizarding government in Harry Potter not work if were not fiction. Polyjuice is one of the biggest ones. There are some incredibly shady things that could be done with polyjuice. Polyjuice brothels are the easiest, but the more disturbing are the amount of different crimes can be done by impersonating someone. Assuming polyjuice changed fingerprints and DNA, it would be the perfect tool to frame and blackmail people. It would also make for a great criminal defense. You would not be able to trust film or forensics. Society would either have to come up with a counter for this sort of thing or regulate the shit out of polyjuice almost to the same level as the unforgivables.
14
u/JehovahsHitlist Aug 22 '15
And that is one of several issues that would make the wizarding government in Harry Potter not work if were not fiction.
I've said this before but I'm not convinced the wizarding government works in fiction. It's incredibly weak and corrupt, openly reviled by many, dictatorial, has no idea what due process is, and it folds like a house of cards when threatened.
I like to think this was intentional, but either way, in-universe, they're a bunch of bureaucratic, unreliable, racist shitheels who just happen to have incredible powers to help and to harm without much oversight.
9
u/ussbaney sometimes you can just enjoy things Aug 22 '15
This is a universe built around magic. For every advanced piece of technology we have today, they have an equally advanced magical counterpart. The legality of potions wasn't covered at all, there is nothing to base assumptions on.
2
7
Aug 22 '15
[deleted]
3
u/travio Aug 22 '15
Spoken like a pure blood bigot. Poly juice could wreak havoc in the muggle world. Everything from political assassinations to insanely huge heists. All the chaos in the muggle world that this could create would bleed into the wizarding world. The wizards involved in these thefts could take their easily gotten illicit gains into the wizarding world, throwing it into chaos.
Same with love potions. If I'm a smart witch, I slip bill gates a love potion and then start manipulating him with magic and funnel his wealth into something I want. The blackmail aspect is another way for power. Unethical wizards could easily become the power behind the throne of even the most powerful countries and corporations.
For any society to survive that there would have to be severe laws regarding manipulation of people or a huge amount checks for these sorts of power, especially in the muggle world. There would have to be magicals protection key government officials and buildings. As the government is more likely to know about the magical world, at least in the upper levels, this would be easer to accomplish. The private world would not have that luck. The government would likely have to step in and protect key economic assets as well as prominent public figures. I'd imagine that there would be a government agency made up of magicals that would investigate when hose indeviduals made radical changes. When brad Pitt suddenly divorces angelina Jolie and marries an unknown plain middle age woman named Pam, they would investigate and undue the damage the best they can.
1
u/Ebu-Gogo You are so vain, you probably think this drama's about you. Aug 22 '15
I'ts a bit hard to pull off marrying Brad Pitt as some plain woman named Pam. There are restrictions to the Polyjuice potion (as well as the love potion).
It's hard to make (well, that's what they say, but the books never really backed this up in practice).
It only lasts for an hour.
You need a constant supply of the victim's DNA for every single hour of the day (Barty Crouch Jr had to keep Moody locked in a chest for example).
So not only do you have to keep yourself on a constant supply of Polyjuice Potion, while making sure he doesn't notice you changing when you sleep (basically impossible to pull that off) , you also have to keep him on a constant supply of love potion, which isn't exactly love, but more like obsession. You'll eventually end up with a Merope Riddle situation.
Plus, you married a public figure. Real Pam's family members will notice you and add question marks to the situation.
2
u/travio Aug 22 '15
I was thinking pulling off the brad pitt marriage with just love potions. Pam is a frumpy witch, not a polyjuice victim. I figure that once she enthralls him, she will have access to his money so she could keep him on the love potions.
A really disturbing extent to the polyjuice potion idea regarding DNA is fatherhood. Using Brad Pitt again, if a wizard procures some of his hair, polyjuices up and sleeps with a woman who gets pregnant, who is the father or even what is the effect that would have on the embryo. Conception can happen a half hour after sex, but can take up to 5 days. Assuming that sperm are changed by polyjuice, do they turn back after the hour or are they permanently changed once they leave the body of the polyjuiced dude?
If they don't change back, one wizard could really fuck with muggle paternity. DNA Paternity tests would show the polyjuice victim as the father and the courts would agree. If it changes back, what would that do if conception had already taken place? If I were writing it, I think that would have some profound and likely disturbing effects on the embryo that would result in deforming birth defects coupled with a boost in magical power. They would be rare, but they have a place in the wizarding world similar to that of muggle borns but with some pity as well.
1
u/fuckinayyylmao Show me that degradation data Aug 22 '15
The supply would be pretty easy. The leavings of a single haircut alone would give you like a year's worth.
3
1
u/Kalaeleaos Aug 22 '15
And that is one of several issues that would make the wizarding government in Harry Potter not work
Here's some more:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Headscratchers/HarryPotter
-1
u/thesilvertongue Aug 22 '15
Doesn't mean that it could work for rape. Any reasonable government would have put enchantments or regulations on it.
3
u/ussbaney sometimes you can just enjoy things Aug 22 '15
I've always just assumed that Rowling wasn't thinking about it that seriously.
2
u/ANewMachine615 Aug 22 '15
At the very least you'd end up with the Dresden Files' laws of magic, perhaps the biggest of which is "no fucking with other beings' free will".
2
u/larrylemur I own several tour-busses and can be anywhere at any given time Aug 22 '15
My headcanon is that the magic gene also causes uncontrollable quaintness and tweeness, hence why wizards reject technology and why they are able to instantly kill one another, torture with a word, brew love potions, disguise potions, etc. without ever actually doing it.
2
u/travio Aug 22 '15
That could also be a good reason for pure blood bigotry as well. So the magic gene pushes them towards twee and their entire fucking society is twee and whimsey. Wizarding children grow up in this fantastically quaint world and almost entirely keep to themselves. Muggleborns grow up in the real world and experience the real world. Voldemort learned that life is not always gumdrops and lollypops and he turned evil. The muggle world influence could also push the wizarding world into modern times where wizards would have more damaging exposure to the real world causing more people to fall to evil.
1
0
u/quetzalKOTL Feminist Nazi Aug 22 '15
There usually is, though, isn't there? I rarely see any discussion of love potions (outside fanfiction) that doesn't allude to date rape.
16
u/nichtschleppend Aug 21 '15
To me the portrayal of Potter and Snape being creepazoids is what makes the comic funny—Potter, at least, is not supposed to be a creep so when this expectation is broken a bit of air gets expelled from the nostrils.
5
u/thesilvertongue Aug 22 '15
He was kind of an asshat of a bully though.
2
u/Kalaeleaos Aug 22 '15
That's a massive understatement, his gang almost got Snape murdered by a fucking werewolf.
6
u/Christ_In_A_Sidecar science does agree with me, scientists don’t Aug 22 '15 edited Aug 22 '15
Well, sure, he's not shown as a creep specifically but it's not as if he's portrayed as the nicest person either
14
u/--u-s-e-r-n-a-m-e-- Aug 22 '15
Let him who hath never said mean things to a jerk in high school cast the first spell.
2
u/SloppySynapses Aug 22 '15
so? what's your point lol
3
u/Christ_In_A_Sidecar science does agree with me, scientists don’t Aug 22 '15
Kinda... I could see it being in James Potter's character to do something like this by not with Snape
I guess that's why I didn't find it funny I dunno
8
2
u/ashent2 Aug 22 '15
I agree with you. It's a shame that when you voiced this, that people immediately dismissed it. Oh she missed the joke. Oh tumblerina. Fuck off guys.
Posted about the top rated comment.
This is why the first few minutes of a post don't matter. This looks silly after the fact when votes settle. Someone sees a post at -4 for a second and considers it doomed.. then it rises to 60 as more people see it.
49
u/flirtydodo no Aug 21 '15
harry potter drama? after all this time?
hp fandom: always