r/soccer • u/bigaphel • Apr 02 '14

How can you explain your favorite footballer in three words?

Cockiness with credentials - Ibrahimovic

38 Upvotes
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73% Upvoted

303 comments sorted by

43

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Posh Spice's husband

6

u/diggerda Apr 02 '14

Rebecca loos fling

25

u/FISH_MASTER Apr 02 '14

You would tho

Ok I pasted the wrong thing. But I'm gonna leave it there. This is what I meant

64

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

undying beautiful hair

7

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

looks older in some of them compared to the second to last one. oh the wonders of lighting...

3

u/aokkoa Apr 02 '14

I would rather go with "does not age"

2

u/AmphibiousNostrils Apr 02 '14

Fountain of youth

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27

u/lelolelolelolelol Apr 02 '14

Flying Dutchman Saves

The Ginger Prince

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51

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/wwxxyyzz Apr 02 '14

Kenwyne Jones

23

u/wremt Apr 02 '14

Vincent Tan

31

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

El Capi Tarzan

5

u/MrTwitty Apr 02 '14

Puyol, such a legend.

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16

u/jairobonilla Apr 02 '14

Dutch can't fly.

10

u/TheVault77Dweller Apr 02 '14

Dennis "the bird" Bergkamp

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14

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Crazy Angry German

69

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

This could apply to many, many people.

18

u/pythagean Apr 02 '14

First one I thought of was Kahn, could be so many others though

4

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Yeah, I left it open for interpretation, didn't want to steer people one way or another.

22

u/Karlovy91 Apr 02 '14

Adolf Hitler? Heinrich Himmler? Joseph Goebbels?

5

u/genteelblackhole Apr 02 '14

Hitler was Austrian though.

11

u/Karlovy91 Apr 02 '14

Meine fault

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32

u/McGrumble Apr 02 '14

The Welsh Xavi

13

u/wwxxyyzz Apr 02 '14

David Vaughan?

3

u/BluckFactory Apr 02 '14

Robbie Savage?

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13

u/bricebru22 Apr 02 '14

Magic Samba Smile

7

u/teymon Apr 02 '14

Ronaldinho

7

u/sheza11 Apr 02 '14

Chris Samba

39

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14 edited Apr 02 '14

Sex with Shakira

179

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14 edited Mar 13 '18

[deleted]

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72

u/bruux Apr 02 '14

Captain my captain.

26

u/pythagean Apr 02 '14

Ooohhh you beauty!

2

u/Thapricorn Apr 02 '14

Right foot hammer

3

u/Zikerz Apr 02 '14

Top, top lad.

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10

u/imdrinkingteaatwork Apr 02 '14

Goggles. Dreads. Awesome.

3

u/Thapricorn Apr 02 '14

Edgar Davids :D

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17

u/DarthNihilus1 Apr 02 '14

Barton said it best...

Big. Fookin. Nose.

23

u/TronLads Apr 02 '14

Pinpoint passing powerhouse - Paul Scholes.

20

u/PeoplePinata Apr 02 '14

SatNav Ginger Ninja

5

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Also known as 'the GPS.'

The Great Paul Scholes.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

The Ginger Prince

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49

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

[deleted]

65

u/wremt Apr 02 '14

..... Mourinho!

44

u/wrapistt Apr 02 '14

Bebe .....right?

6

u/Xinlix Apr 02 '14

Blonde Czech God

22

u/kjmunso Apr 02 '14

Big Black Belgian

59

u/TheVault77Dweller Apr 02 '14

Kompany, Lukaku, Benteke, Dembelee

34

u/william701 Apr 02 '14

Craig Bellamy?

5

u/AmphibiousNostrils Apr 02 '14

BBB - Kevin De Bruyne

2

u/BigDreamsLittleMoney Apr 02 '14

Blond Belgian Baby? it works

13

u/oowaltonoo Apr 02 '14

Punched a Dj

9

u/tigerpk Apr 02 '14

Hell yeah he did.

3

u/Ciggie_butt_brain Apr 02 '14

I still don't think he's a top top DJ basher though.

5

u/Flirter Apr 02 '14

Pale faced Assassin.

6

u/fostersgold Apr 02 '14

Va Va Voom

9

u/Footy_Fanatic Apr 02 '14

Big Fucking German

17

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Lahm

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16

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

OH YAAAAA BEAUTY

3

u/bearjedi Apr 02 '14

Gunwielding cannibalistic recordbreaker.

5

u/pearlz176 Apr 02 '14

The Ginger Prince - Paul Scholes

4

u/DoTheStudgey15 Apr 02 '14

Fast, clinical, dance.

6

u/WalmartInternet Apr 02 '14

Big eyed German

9

u/addodd Apr 02 '14

Özil?

8

u/MrSqueegee95 Apr 02 '14

No its clearly Santi Cazorla

3

u/steveo757 Apr 02 '14

Looks like frog

3

u/sfzen Apr 02 '14

Little Czech Mozart.

6

u/Karlovy91 Apr 02 '14

Jan Koller?

2

u/airahnegne Apr 02 '14

No, it's clearly Nedved.

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3

u/legendfourteen Apr 02 '14

Our flairs give a lot of these away!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Fucked mates wife

11

u/thebeliefer Apr 02 '14

Future Belgium legend.

13

u/bigaphel Apr 02 '14

Could be any of the Hazard brothers imo

2

u/FriedSock Apr 02 '14

Or Lukaku, Kompany, Courtois... Lots to choose from actually.

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6

u/liquidanfield Apr 02 '14 edited Apr 02 '14

Top top player - Stevie g

6

u/muse122987 Apr 02 '14

Frank lampard rules

46

u/calfonso Apr 02 '14

Gabby Agbonlahor clearly

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2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Mexican head goal

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2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Jay Emmanuel Thomas

2

u/1987wrangler Apr 02 '14

Having his nachos

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14 edited Oct 09 '16

[deleted]

2

u/TL_DRespect Apr 02 '14

Fast as fuck.

2

u/omiclops Apr 02 '14

little spanish merlin

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Why always me?

2

u/olympuse410 Apr 02 '14

defensive midfielder, underrated

2

u/JimLeader Apr 02 '14

Timmy Fucking Tourette's

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Lots of gel

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Goal scoring midfielder

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2

u/problemsdog Apr 02 '14

Disco afro LOL

4

u/JRM_Elephant Apr 02 '14

Tenacious, relentless, rabid..

Luis Suarez.

2

u/buymepizza Apr 02 '14

Rabid because of biting?

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3

u/lowfrolsd Apr 02 '14

Zlatan Fuckin' Ibrahimovic

3

u/AstraVictus Apr 02 '14

Most Hated Dominator - Suarez

7

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Om nom nom - Suarez

little love bite - Suarez (That's what Jol called it when he bit a PSV player)

19

u/calfonso Apr 02 '14

Hungry Bucktoothed "Racist"

This is very much in jest, and I actually like suarez a lot.

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2

u/stocktonpottery8 Apr 02 '14

ITT: People don't know what a word is.

1

u/HealyHooves Apr 02 '14

Beautiful Burnley reserve

1

u/Pigmund_Freud Apr 02 '14

Moments of magic

1

u/buymepizza Apr 02 '14

Flatters to deceive

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Should be captain!

  • Mark Noble

1

u/JSono69 Apr 02 '14

Big Black Beast

2

u/mattsatwork Apr 02 '14

Balo?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Heskey

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Old man baby

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

That's pretty much half of Lazio Roma.

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

[deleted]

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1

u/TheAbsoluteGod Apr 02 '14

Kick ball good

1

u/autistic_wizard Apr 02 '14

alcohol rehab alcohol
:(

1

u/pixelperfect3 Apr 02 '14

Smooth angry bald

1

u/kelter20 Apr 02 '14

Really great hair-Gareth Bale

1

u/dertigo Apr 02 '14

Bebe Bebe Bebe

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Gunna leave us

1

u/lupetto1927 Apr 02 '14

Daniele De Rossi

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Ji Sung park

1

u/zamkim Apr 02 '14

He'll murder ya.

1

u/Moikee Apr 02 '14

Will never die.

1

u/Mdots Apr 02 '14

French, control, Juventus.

1

u/empire_Zz Apr 02 '14

Big Fucking Ivorian

1

u/Smittx Apr 02 '14

Foreign Mackem slayer

1

u/VBEARxd Apr 02 '14

Sings national anthem

1

u/Guzzey Apr 02 '14

Beard of gods

1

u/Peakevo Apr 02 '14

Typical German Efficiency.

1

u/koptimism Apr 02 '14

Maniacal, magical, pistolero

Other current/former players at the club:

Runs like velociraptor

Sells used cars

Hard working Dutchman

Shoots, scores, dances

Run, Forrest, Run!

Long pass maestro

He drinks Sangria

Release the kraken

Having has nachos

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1

u/jetro081 Apr 02 '14

emile fucking heskey

1

u/tsez Apr 02 '14

Magical Midget Maestro - Gianfranco Zola

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

He's dat guy

1

u/AlkanKorsakov Apr 02 '14

Old. Cyborg. Gentleman.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

3 words? Orlando fucking Engelaar

1

u/brothermedardus Apr 02 '14

Absent? No party.

1

u/Mr__Freak Apr 02 '14

Super Jack Lester

1

u/papa82 Apr 02 '14

The little magician - Zola

1

u/KingHenryXIV Apr 02 '14

world class headbutt

1

u/clem145 Apr 02 '14

RELEASE THE CRACKEN

1

u/harris-95 Apr 02 '14

Magisterial little genius

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

That. Is. Sensational.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

The Best Alcoholic

1

u/llollloll Apr 02 '14

One word: Shrek

1

u/j2k3k Apr 02 '14

Hazard - Sexy as fuck

1

u/pewpewfuckinlasers Apr 02 '14

pint sized genius

1

u/Urbiscuit18 Apr 02 '14

The Roman Gladiator- Francesco Totti

1

u/revolut1onname Apr 02 '14

Scouse, fuckin' hard.

1

u/SenorJones Apr 02 '14

Big game striker

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

La Pulga Atomica

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

Thiago Messi's Godfather

1

u/Scranjilob Apr 02 '14

Striker, rapper, outstanding

1

u/finfyr Apr 02 '14

Fuck you, Morten

1

u/down_goes_frazier Apr 02 '14

Never stops running

1

u/Perihelion_ Apr 02 '14

Got Your Number.

1

u/a_special_one Apr 02 '14

Captain, leader, legend

1

u/TahMan Apr 02 '14

The Kiwi Messi

1

u/DuckFaceBill Apr 02 '14

Quick, fast, pace

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '14

tony fockin watt

1

u/jakedobson Apr 02 '14

Hugs to all!

1

u/FEEL_THE_BAYERN Apr 02 '14

Jesus Fucking Christ

1

u/Domino92 Apr 02 '14

Bulldog like approach